| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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He won't let go of his separated wife for me.
Q. Hi, i am a 41 year old woman, i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and it has been a very up and down relationship, he has always been a very angry man and i have found it very hard with him, we have a 2 year old child together of which he ...
A. 20 April 2010: Now he's getting violent, and your child saw. You must leave or it will seriously affect your child. ... (read in full...)
My gut is telling me that he's gay and he doesn't realize he is!
Q. I think the guy I've been seeing may be gay why do I think this? 1. He asked for a threesome with another guy and when I said 'no' he said he was only joking and seriously wouldn't do that 2. He wears spandex under his sweatshirts (he says ...
A. 19 April 2010: Well something is going on. For a young man to have sex for a couple of times then stop, I'd say that something is wrong anyway. I think you need to talk to him and ask him where he sees this relationship going. Don't ask him if he's day, but ... (read in full...)
What I consider so special he's done with so many other girls!
Q. I lost my virginity to my BF but he slept with 6 girls (that I know of) before me. I knew that he wasn't a virgin before we got intimate. This didn't bother me before but now it's bothering me. To me, sex is something special and something you on...
A. 19 April 2010: In these years of liberation, sex has become something that is no longer just reserved for marriage, or the right person. Sometimes, it's the person right now that we want to satisfy us. This is something you need to accept and move on with. If you ... (read in full...)
How much of a chance is there that I'm pregnant?
Q. So I have to ask and be concerned, if your "riding" a guy for under a minute with no condom on and when he takes it out and theres jizz on it... is there a chance I'm pregnant? I'm more worried than hell and I've already talked to my mom about it ...
A. 19 April 2010: There's always a chance. You must always use protection. A man has 'pre-cum', which leaks out when he's turned on. This has sperm in it. So there is a chance that you might be. If you have done it within the last 72 hours, the morning after pill. If ... (read in full...)
Would he approve of my dress sense?
Q. I'm in a relationship w/ my bf for a year now. Do you think it's okay for a girl to wear whatever she wants to in a relationship? I know the basics that a girl shouldn't dress all slutty without the bf around, or even at all; BUT I feel like I can't ...
A. 18 April 2010: Wear what you like. You're not dressing slutty at all. Respect that you have a boyfriend, but don't let a guy control you... (read in full...)
Was the whole relationship just a lie?
Q. I had an affair with a married man, I myself am married. The affair lasted for 10 months, it started out as friends, and built into a trusting, wanting, and deep relationship. My marriage was already in trouble and I was just co-habitating with my ...
A. 18 April 2010: The price of being with a married man is that this might well happen. When his wife pressed the nuclear button ('you will never see the kids again'), he made his decision. Ultimately, he chose his kids over you. You don't have any hope, because you ... (read in full...)
In love with 22 year old teacher
Q. hi, im a 15 year old girl and i really feel i have fallen for my 22 year old teacher. i make excuses for myself, make it okay in my mind since there is only a 7 year difference in age and that if i was 20 then he would be 27 and that isnt weird at ...
A. 18 April 2010: Sorry girl, but the fact that he has an older girlfriend indicates he is looking for a certain maturity and perhaps even prefers older women (some do). This won't happen. You may think he can do better, but he's obviously happy with this other ... (read in full...)
I can't seem to get close to women!
Q. Is there something wrong with me if I'm a virgin? I must be inept with women? I'm 22 and everyone around me at uni seems to be getting into a relationships, or having tonnes of one night stands and talking about their exploits whilst all I have to ...
A. 18 April 2010: I think it's a case of really getting to know women before you ask them out. It's possible you're not getting to know them, so maybe they think you're just interested in sex. I used to get turned down by every girl I ever asked out, but it changed ... (read in full...)
Fiance cheating on me with men?
Q. My fiance actively seeks head from other men via the computer. I'm so confused right now. He is a manly man and has a history of being with women (2 children with his ex). He travels for business (airline) alot of the time. When he's away, he ...
A. 18 April 2010: He's either bi or gay. I suspect you hacked into his emails for the reason you've just written anyway, so on this occasion I'll say you did the right thing. I actually think you need to confront him, because if he is actively seeking it, then there ... (read in full...)
Would this be classed as cheating?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years, with him living abroad for the last two and a half. It had been really tough him being away and we have been through some real up and downs but now he is coming back and we are closer than ever and ...
A. 18 April 2010: The man kissed you, and you pulled away. You didn't cheat, and didn't do anything wrong I don't think.In the future, be careful how much you drink. you don't want to make a mistake. For now, accept this other guy kissed you and that you pulled away. ... (read in full...)
Do we really need more space?
Q. my ex and i got back together, he used to live with me and now he is living with his friends he says that it is better that way, that we both can give each other the space we need instead of always being together all the time, what does he mean by ...
A. 18 April 2010: This is over. He was an ex before, and now that he's living with his friends, all he wants is you there for the sake of having a girlfriend. If he was serious about getting back together, he would really be putting effort in right now. I think it's ... (read in full...)
Why do they always find someone else?
Q. hi, im fed up of being along its really making feel down, all i want is a boyfriend but every boy i get close to having a realtionship with either finds someone else or gets back with there ex girlfriend this has happened to me 4 times now in the ...
A. 18 April 2010: You're picking the wrong type of man. You seem to be picking guys who are't over their ex's, and are perhaps in need of caring for, or you think they're in need if help. I think you need to look at the type of guy you're attracted to. Don't take on ... (read in full...)
He spilled the beans on our secret relationship!
Q. Hi, I have a really big problem right now! I've been meeting up secretly with this guy. When he was drunk, he told another of our friends about us and now it's gotten out. A few of my friends know about it and recently questioned me. I completely...
A. 18 April 2010: First of all, why would you keep it a secret. There is no use in you trying to get to know each other through secrecy. Someone was going to tell someone else. You can't tell him to say he was just messing around, because he'll just think you're not ... (read in full...)
Lovers then best friends, but suddenly he doesn't care
Q. So I bumped into my ex-bf last week and am struggling to understand his attitude - he acts like he doesn't care at all about my life, but when we broke up, he said I'd always mean the world to him, so now I'm confused! We were together 9 years. ...
A. 18 April 2010: He cheated on you, is an ex, and for all his promises has failed you. This is a man that you need to end contact with. Simply, he didn't like it that you dumped him. He will never be there for you, because he wasn't before. Leave him out of your ... (read in full...)
I commited a crime and might go to prison. When should I tell my boyfriend?
Q. I started seeing this guy 2 months ago. We have an intense relationship. We have emailed and talked for hours every day since we met. It's not all sexual, sometimes we just have fun and hang out. I commited a white collar crime out of depression. ...
A. 18 April 2010: You have to tell him sooner rather than later. The price of committing a crime is that you may end up being seen as a bad apple. I know it was out of depression, but he needs to know because if you don't tell him and the case comes up, he's more ... (read in full...)
Why was my married lover so nice and now he has turned cold?
Q. Two years ago i met a married man and he started flirting with me, of course i didnt pay much attention because i am also married. Well he came on to me so strong that i finally gave him my number. We had been texting for a while and fooled around ...
A. 18 April 2010: The moment you have an affair with a married man, you are walking into trouble. Because a married man will be using you for sex and nothing else. That's all. So either he's had his fill, or his wife was suspicious. Stop trying to continue this ... (read in full...)
I thought he was going to ask me out but then he didnt
Q. I've been friends with a guy for about years. The last two or three we have been really close. I want to take our rlationship to the next level but don't know how. I can't just come out and say it because he gets very skiddish at the thought of ...
A. 18 April 2010: If you really want this to go further, I'm afraid you have to take a chance and tell him. It's the only way you are ever going to know what cold have been. If he does become skiddish, then you'll know you need to move on. But you must take a chance... (read in full...)
Should I tell her about my previous 'relationship' with her family friend?
Q. Long story short, I've been seeing girl A. 11 years ago (in high school), I dated a girl B who happens to be close family friends with girl A. That relationship with girl B didn't mean much to me. I was younger and had no idea what a relationship ...
A. 18 April 2010: I don't think it really matters, since it happened 11 years ago. ... (read in full...)
I really like my colleague, but I'm afraid he might reject me.
Q. I hope someone can help with my problem I am a married woman for many years and I have a massive infatuation on my male colleague. I can't remember how it started, but all of the body language is there from him, deep blushing when I look at him...
A. 18 April 2010: You really should either work on your marriage or get a divorce. Because if you did have an affair and it came out, it would ruin your career, and you'd end up looking seriously bad in front of everyone with a very bad reputation. Either work on ... (read in full...)
Do I verbally tell her how I feel, or keep flirting and hope for the best?
Q. i like this girl in my class. we talk everyday and we have became best friends. it started when this other guy in our class started hitting on her. she didn't like him at all and he wouldn't leave her alone. so she asked me if i would sit in between ...
A. 18 April 2010: If she is still with her boyfriend, say nothing and accept she is with him. If not, then it's best to talk to her.... (read in full...)
His mom is sufficating us, how do I make her disappear?
Q. I am currently living with roommates and one of them is my best friend. Whenever him and I want to spend some alone time together, his mom throws tantrums and calls him and I very nasty names. My friend has tried to spend some alone time with his ...
A. 18 April 2010: It could be that she's suffering from depression, or it could be that she's jealous and thinks you're taking her little boy away from her. I think this is something that won't change to be honest, so continue to spend time with your friend, and just ... (read in full...)
What's the good thing about being FWB, not including sex?
Q. Hey everyone !!! I want to ask a quick question. What is the good thing about being friends with benifits and by that i mean holding hands, hugging, cute names, making out. (nothing sexual) ?? And what is the bad part ?? thanks alot ...
A. 18 April 2010: The bad part is that if you fall in love with him, and he doesn't fall in love with you you will get very hurt. ... (read in full...)
Found out that he is divorcing and he didn't tell me
Q. My boyfriend of five years got into some trouble as of late. Anyway, to make a long story short, I had to ask about a court date for him and they said that the only one they had on file was for his divorce. He never told me that he was married. We ...
A. 18 April 2010: He did lie, so you don't know what else he will lie about. But it's worth hearing him out, just once, as he might not have been able to get the divorce, and didn't want to say anything. Be angry, because you have a right to be, but listen to what he ... (read in full...)
Is it bad to masturbate so much?
Q. I am 14 years old and i watch porno. i watch the type of porno that is called hentai or animations "mangas" because they usally have stories. everytime i watch it after im done i go and masturbate. i done it a lot lately. at least 3 times a day. is ...
A. 18 April 2010: There's nothing wrong with it at all. Just be careful that you don't develop an addiction to porn while you're at it. ... (read in full...)
Is my weight getting in the way of his pleasure?
Q. This might be a long story... Well my boyfriend and i have been going out for almost 3 years and everything has gone great, theres only one problem... he works out all the time and is super skinny while i'm overweight... our sex life is always s...
A. 18 April 2010: I think it's more likely that your confidence is getting in the way. Your boyfriend still loves you. ... (read in full...)
At 25, I still haven't had sex, but I think about it!
Q. I am 25 and not sure about sex. I am still not ready to take that extra step and actually have sex. I have had two serious relationships so far and thankfully they have been with men who respected me enough to wait. I am still with one of the guys ...
A. 17 April 2010: No. The worst thing to do would be to lose it to someone for the sake of it. Keep trying to find the right guy. ... (read in full...)
3 weeks without sex-is that normal?
Q. When my b/f is under pressure at work; or has too many bills he just shuts down in the sex department. We have sometimes gone 3 weeks without intimacy. Is this normal in a happy relationship? I guess it's frustrating to me because fo...
A. 17 April 2010: No. The moment a man gets stressed, you can be sure his sex drive is affected. This has nothing to do with you at all. And there is nothing else going on. He's just stressed and stress affects a man's libido. ... (read in full...)
He accused me of cheating when I wasn't and then broke up with me!
Q. How can he do that?? thats soo cruel:(? my ex boyfriend and I were together for 2years..he started accusing me of cheating when i wasn't and then the other he told me hes got a girl/wifey and he has given her a ring, he loves her soo much. ...
A. 17 April 2010: I'd say that the chances are he had someone else and chose to blame you because he didn't have the nerve to just say it and move on. This isn't your fault and you didn't do anything wrong. Take time to get over this, and you'll find a much better ... (read in full...)
One night stand last night
Q. Hi, Was wondering if anyone has any thoughts/advice. I am currently living by myself and my boyfriend of 4 years has moved away for work. In the last month a guy at work (not same department) and I have been texting and emailing. He has a longter...
A. 17 April 2010: I think he's either had his way and now wants nothing more to do with you, or he's actually feeing bad that he's cheated on his girlfriend. No disrespect, but if you willingly cheated on your boyfriend, then please end it. Let him find someone else ... (read in full...)
At 25, I still haven't had sex, but I think about it!
Q. I am 25 and not sure about sex. I am still not ready to take that extra step and actually have sex. I have had two serious relationships so far and thankfully they have been with men who respected me enough to wait. I am still with one of the guys ...
A. 17 April 2010: I think it means this isn't the right guy for you. You only say that you're comfortable with him, nothing more than that. I think you're right to wait for the right man. I'm not sure this is the man for you. ... (read in full...)
Since we moved house my husband seems to have lost his sex drive...
Q. My husband is 25 years old we have always had a great sex life. Recently we up and moved to the other side of the country for his job. About 3 months after moving he totally lost his sex drive! I dont know if it is me or what, we have talked about ...
A. 17 April 2010: Chances are it's stress and nerves. It won't be you. It's never the woman, it's always something else that causes this. Usually it's stress. But there's nothing you can do unless he will get himself checked. ... (read in full...)
Flirting games...
Q. This is about a guy I work with, I knew him for 3 years and a week ago we were just joking around about flirting. He's married and I'm married so he asked me a question in a message "do you want to satisfy my curiosity? so I reply back to him "Yes" ...
A. 17 April 2010: I think it was just flirting. That's all. ... (read in full...)
Why does he ignore me altogether?
Q. I was dating a guy for about 6 months. Recently, he broke up with me. I was pretty confused and hurt. We had a pretty healthy relationship, great sex, and a great connection. He broke up with me the day before he moved a couple of towns away to "The ...
A. 17 April 2010: He's moved on. This isn't your fault. He's just moved on. Now you need to as well.... (read in full...)
He won't let go of his separated wife for me.
Q. Hi, i am a 41 year old woman, i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and it has been a very up and down relationship, he has always been a very angry man and i have found it very hard with him, we have a 2 year old child together of which he ...
A. 17 April 2010: I'm afraid you need to leave this man. End of. I could be here all day explaining why you should leave. I can't spend a second telling you why you should keep him. ... (read in full...)
Should I keep giving him chances if he comes back?
Q. Right so my boyfriend dumped me last night and claimed things weren't working any more even though i had offered to do something about it like us going out together. Being the school holidays i havent had lots of time to see him. I cried when he ...
A. 17 April 2010: No. He'll fail you again. He has had his chances and has failed you twice. Leave him well in the past. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I got pregnant, and I tested positive.
Q. I am 15 and i done a pregnancy test this morning it was positive.My boyfriend said he would leave me if i ever was what should i do?...
A. 17 April 2010: Tell your parents. If he leaves, you'll know he was a rubbish man. But you must tell your parents. ... (read in full...)
Please help! Should I move in with a roomate for now, or trust how my husband is being?
Q. Hi, we have been married five years. My husband and I recently moved two yrs ago to a different state to start our business and that didnt work out. He has been unemployed the whole time and became very depressed. We have basically lost all of our ...
A. 17 April 2010: You now have a choice, and you need to think very carefully. He has said that he loves you and wants you with him. So, either you go to him and trust him, or you don't and your marriage will more or less crumble. I'd suggest you go to him. That way ... (read in full...)
Do guys get erections over any girl, ... or just ones they like?
Q. Hey there, Just wondering, when I've kissed boys they've all got erections afterwards. Do guys get erections with any girls or just ones they like???...
A. 17 April 2010: At your age, no guy will be able to control himself no matter who the girl is, though chances are if he likes a girl he will be far more obvious. ... (read in full...)
I want sex, ... but never when my boyfriend is around.
Q. I have been with my bf for 2 and half yrs. When we get to together we always have sex. But lately I have been wanting it when his not around. When his around I jus seem like I haven't been interested. ...
A. 17 April 2010: Maybe it's become a bit routine, or a bit boring for you. Maybe you both need to put more effort into your relationship. This is usually sign that it's become a bit routine and you need to shake things up a little. ... (read in full...)
I feel sick that she might be cheating on me.
Q. Well this is what I got. My girlfriend and me are getting married next year hopefully. She will every once in a while go out with a girl friend and go to parties and what not. I know she loves sex this trust me i know, we both do we are very healthy ...
A. 17 April 2010: You're basing this on nothing but gut instinct, without a shred of evidence. The worst thing is that it's often gut instinct that is right, whereas evidence can be misleading. I think it's worth going to one of these parties yourself to see what ... (read in full...)
20 and never been kissed!
Q. Twenty and Never Been Kissed…. Ever since I was about 15 I’ve been on a “waiting quest” . What’s a “waiting quest” you ask? Well a “waiting quest” is a journey of sorts that doesn’t involve searching or moving or action…it just involves time an...
A. 17 April 2010: First of all, there is no rush. Secondly, the waiting game doesn't work, because men often assume that a woman who is too stand-offish isn't interested. Don't be afraid to flirt, to talk to a guy and get to know him. And certainly don't be afraid ... (read in full...)
What should I do, continue or break it off?
Q. dear cupid, Recently i have broken up with my partner of 22 years and have been contacting my ex-lover who which we broke up over 25 years ago we have now decided we want to get back together agian because we still love each other a lot. the only...
A. 17 April 2010: Until she does break it off, slow down. Tell her you can't be in a relationship until she breaks it off. It's not fair to her partner or you if she just uses you both. ... (read in full...)
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