| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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My boyfriend broke up with me but now he doesn't want me to see other guys
Q. i been datin this guy for 8 months,he broke up with me last sunday and i begged him and cried sayin i didnt want anyone else. i now know this was a mistake as i have been reading that begging pushes them away but anyways he talks 2 me some at schoo...
A. 25 April 2010: Tell your ex boyfriend to shove it. You're too good for him, and he's playing games which is very unfair. If you want to date someone, date them. You don't need a guy who has hurt you in your life. You do what you want to do. ... (read in full...)
I'm convinced my ex-boyfriend still loves me even though he says otherwise
Q. hi I meet the guy on a webisite italiansingles in october we talked online then we started to talk on the phone we talked everyday and night we fell in love but we never meet but we saw each other on webcam. we talked all night on the phone. ...
A. 25 April 2010: You're believing what you want to believe, to the point where you are driving him away more than you can imagine. I know you love him, but he just doesn't love you at all. Men who are in love don't sit there saying 'leave me alone'. If he loved ... (read in full...)
I'm not attracted to my girlfriend but I don't want to hurt her
Q. I dont know what to do with this situation? I have a gf that is funny, pretty, smart, but i am not attracted to her sexually. I have never felt a spark between us since weve been dating. My friends like her and find her attractive, my family likes ...
A. 25 April 2010: You need to let her go. I think you're keeping her around as more of a comfort blanket because most of your friends are away and you'd feel worse and more lonely. But by stringing this along any more, neither of you will be able to move on properly. ... (read in full...)
He didn't ask me to move in with him. Is this a warning sign?
Q. I (23) was talking to my boyfriend of 8 months (26) the other night about apartments, as I am moving out of mine as soon as my lease runs out in the summer. He was giving me advice of different neighborhoods to look into, since i was going to be ...
A. 25 April 2010: It's only been eight months, so I don't think you need to worry at all at the moment. And him saying he wasn't planning to be single forever is more of an indication that he could be thinking about asking you at some point in the near future anyway. ... (read in full...)
Mother and sisters pressure me to have a boyfriend
Q. I feel pressured to get a boyfriend! Ive only just turned 15 and it seems like the world keeps pressuring me about getting a boyfriend. My mum keeps calling me a lesbian and that makes me feel awful. My older sister( who by the way is married) t...
A. 25 April 2010: You're 15. You've got years to find a boyfriend, and you're much more likely to find a good one if you do it in your own time. Tell them the can think what they like, but you won't do anything you don't want to. ... (read in full...)
My recent behaviour is out of character for me. Is it connected to my father's death 4 months ago?
Q. Hey :) well i would just some advice on something that has been bothering me. Basically about four months ago my dad died and ever since i have been doing things that i dont normally do like *going out into town *drinking *smoking and there...
A. 25 April 2010: I think so. Losing your Dad was probably a very bog shock, and perhaps rather than face everything head on and speak to someone or get help explaining how you feel, you're rebelling because it's out of character and for a while you're not acting ... (read in full...)
Says he is not ready for a relationship then gets into one with a 19 year old....he is going to be 30!
Q. I have been seeing this guy for about a year. He had to put a lot of work into getting me to go out with him. When we started dating, he was really romantic to me and very nice. He respected me and was really into me. He told me how beautiful I am ...
A. 25 April 2010: He's after nothing but sex, and you were looking for more. That's what this comes down to. Sorry but he has basically used you for his own ends. You were looking for more than he wanted to give. The younger girl is another girl he will use for sex ... (read in full...)
Should I make his daughter leave?
Q. I have allowed my boyfriend who is 42 move in with me. He has lived in my home FREE for almost 6 mths. We have been dating 9 mths. He had financial problems so that was the only reason I let him move in. I thought by now he would be able to ...
A. 25 April 2010: If you accept him, you will have to accept the fact his daughter exists and he will do what he can to help her, in the same way that is this was the other way around and you needed his help, you'd expect him to at least assist with your son. If you ... (read in full...)
Is there anything we can do to move past this or is it a lost cause?
Q. My current boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. We got together after we had both recently gotten out of breakups. Our relationship was great except for a few occasions when his ex seemed to contact him out of nowhere and he ...
A. 24 April 2010: If he was willing to cheat on her with you, then he could do it to you. If he lied that he had just got back into contact and was in fact in contact with her all the time. You don't know whether something has been happening behind you back. This is ... (read in full...)
Help with bulimia!
Q. What should I do please help me??:(? am bulimic... i eat then i throw up.. cos after ive eaten... i feel soo fat and the thought of been fat scares me so i throw up everything after ive eaten. am not fat..am UK size 8 and i exercise every day...
A. 24 April 2010: Plenty of people have had this before, and have all managed to break free from it. Coming here was a good start, but you need to speak to your doctor about this, so they can help you in a more safe and worthwhile manner. good luck. ... (read in full...)
She's 3 years younger than me, should I be backing away?
Q. Helloo, I'm 17, 18 in August, and I recently started talking to this girl who I met in school about 3 years ago and I've kind of started to like her, we kissed today but there's one problem, she's 14 and not 15 until May. My best friend says I s...
A. 24 April 2010: Yes, back away. As the others have said, something could go wrong and you could get into trouble ... (read in full...)
Did I betray my best mate?
Q. my best friend was seeing a guy for around 6 months. ive only been really close to her for around 5 months but ive knew the guy she was seeing for 7 or 8, and since i first met him i liked him. they broke up and a week later i slept with him. since ...
A. 24 April 2010: I'm afraid you've walked into it. The rule is never sleep with a best friend's ex, because this can happen. Worse still he's probably just using you as a rebound. Learn from this mistake. ... (read in full...)
Am I a bad person for cutting off contact with him?
Q. I\'m always making the effort ringing and chasing my long distance boyfriend who has been verbally abusive to me at times and doesn't make the effort anymore. I'm finding it difficult to let go as he sends texts and rings and I reply/go running to ...
A. 24 April 2010: I think you're right to cut contact. It has to end here, so end it. ... (read in full...)
Is he blaming me for losing the baby?
Q. hey my name is Vicky i can never make my boyfriend cum we lost a baby about 3 mouths ago and i think that he is blaming me for the lost of the baby. plz can some one help me thanks...
A. 24 April 2010: There isn't quite enough information, but that chances are it's not you at all. It's more likely he's just very stressed about all this and can't relax enough,. ... (read in full...)
Dealing with a bratty girlfriend?
Q. The more I learn about my girlfriend, the more I get turned off. In short, my girlfriend is bratty, and I feel is borderline gold-digger. Ironically, she knows that I think this, and will try to clean my image of her up by saying things like, "I ...
A. 24 April 2010: Seems to me like she seems to have different ideas to you. She does sound like she's a bit expensive. I'd look at everything as a whole, and not just the ring thing, and then make a decision. Usually when someone says "I hope you don't think I'm a ... (read in full...)
Yikes!!! I think I may be pregnant! What do you guys reckon?
Q. Am i pregnant? My pill ran out around 7 weeks ago and i'm still yet to get it renewed. i've been sleeping with someone 2 or 3 times a week, for around 5 weeks now and each time he's came inside me. i'm still yet to come on since coming off my pill, ...
A. 24 April 2010: Certainly sounds like it. Get a test. ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to go out with a 12 year old when I'm 16?
Q. Is it ok to go out with a 12 year old girl when im 16. No its not about sex thats completely retarded at this age. She admitted she liked after her mom told me....
A. 24 April 2010: It's probably not a good idea. She is too young, and people might be worried about it, and she's not really mature enough to be able to have a relationship just yet. ... (read in full...)
Can you REALLY forgive someone after they cheat?
Q. Is it ever possible to have someone cheat in a relationship, and then really forgive someone? If you really forgive that person in your heart, can you still live happily ever after?...
A. 24 April 2010: It really does take a lot of heart, and I think that you can forgive, but not ever forget. A huge amount of effort, for something that may happen again. I'm sure it can be done, but it's very hard work. ... (read in full...)
G/f cheating? No sex, says I make her skin crawl
Q. I live with my girlfriend, but is she having an affair? Weve not had sex for nearly 16 months now, she used to sleep naked in bed but now wears shorts and t-shirt, we argue a lot, she goes out 4 nights a week even for just an hour sometimes, she ...
A. 24 April 2010: Yes you should. Get away from this appalling woman. ... (read in full...)
I pressed charges against b/f for his behavior, but should I drop them?
Q. I am so confused! Please can someone help me to sort out what I am feeling. Basically, my boyfriend attacked me when he had been drinking so I had him arrested and he is now on bail for 3 weeks, he is getting charged with common assault. But I a...
A. 24 April 2010: Do not take him back. He's been violent once, and it's only a matter of time before he does it again. Don't become one of those statistics. ... (read in full...)
Drugs are involved, he's lying..do I leave him?
Q. I have been with my partner for just over 2 yrs. we are living together, I have mate his family but he's not mate mine as I come from abroad. I have recently found out that he has been taking mephedrone and the new drug (cannot remmeber what its ...
A. 24 April 2010: Leave him. This man is no good at all. And to have a child with this man would be a serious mistake. ... (read in full...)
Should I call off my wedding to a man who finds me unattractive?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we're engaged and getting married this summer but lately he's been acting weird towards me he complains about my weight he tells me that I'm not attractive anymore, the sex is awesome, he wants it all ...
A. 23 April 2010: I don't think it's worth being married to man who doesn't find you attractive. You do need to call it off work through this. Why marry a man who claims to to find you attractive yet still has sex with you? He might just be using you. ... (read in full...)
Is this a new trend? Twenty-somethings hitting on 40-somethings?
Q. To all of the men out there. I am 48 years old and have been getting hit up on by gorgeous guys in thier early 20's. Is this a new trend going on? Are these guys just looking for sex? FYI i have not been going out with any of them because of the ...
A. 23 April 2010: I'm going out with an older woman. It is a trend, yes. A very enjoyable one. ... (read in full...)
Should I date him even though I don't want to be seen in public with him?
Q. OK.. last year my best friends always used to try to make me hook up with this guy and they didn't tell me if he was cute or not so he just came up to me or whatever and i didn't think he was that attractive so i just pushed him to the side and ...
A. 23 April 2010: Don't date him. If you don't want to be see with him, don't date him. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend drinks and won't be consistantly decent to me
Q. Hello, Me and my boyfriend have been dating for around 4 months nearly now and yesterday we got into a bit of an argument because he needed help with something and I turned it around on myself because I was in a mess too (I suffer from severe d...
A. 23 April 2010: I think you need to end it with this guy. You're only young and you don't need to be tied to a guy who is already a drunk. Granted, this started after an argument, but he knows he has a drinking problem, and that's not something you need to take on. ... (read in full...)
Should I look for a new woman or wait for one to enter my life?
Q. I am a 22 year old male and I recently went through a breakup with a girl that I had been dating for two and a half years. She broke up with me very suddenly about a month before I was going to propose to her. I had bought her a diamond engagement ...
A. 23 April 2010: Wait for now and focus on your own esteem again. You need to believe that you're still a great guy, which you're finding hard at the moment. As long as you're finding it hard, any relationship you go into will fall apart because in your head you ... (read in full...)
Why do men go limp at times?
Q. HI I AM JUST CURIOUS..WHAT CAUSES A MAN TO GO LIMP?DURING SEX AND BEFORE SEX?...
A. 23 April 2010: Tiredness, stress, ED, not turned on in his head, feeling ill. The list is endless. There are a million reasons. ... (read in full...)
I'm not in love with her but she doesn't want an abortion.. I don't want to hurt her.
Q. ok here goes. im from scotland and i got my american girlfriend pregnant. at the moment both of us are living and working in south korea ware we met about 7 months ago. our contracts run out in august and she wants me to move to america with her. i...
A. 23 April 2010: It's time for honesty. You're not going to look too good, but I'm afraid that's the price. She needs to know how you feel, because she won't want to be in an faked, unloved relationship. You need to sit her down and be honest that you like her, but ... (read in full...)
I'm married, but confused by another man that I like?
Q. A year and a half ago a long lost friend came back into my life. We started texting and I found myself falling in love with him. I'm married and but there is something about him that I don't want to let go. he told me on a few differant occassions ...
A. 23 April 2010: No his feelings haven't come back, he never had any. You're a married woman who isn't happy, and he is capitalizing on it. He us using you. 500 miles apart just makes it easier for him to cover it up and go away without commitment of any kind. Now ... (read in full...)
Why does everybody think it's bad when girl cheats but cool when a man cheats?
Q. I would like to know why when a gurl cheat everybody think it's bad but when a man did the samething they think it's cool I would like to know why? Please...
A. 22 April 2010: They don't. Only people who are immature would think that.... (read in full...)
Slept with him and now don't hear from him
Q. i slept with this guy for first time and he said he liked it now he wont return my texts at all why...
A. 22 April 2010: I'm really sorry, but you've been used by him for sex. You need to move on from him now, and cut all contact. ... (read in full...)
My ex knows my Facebook password, do you think it's him deleting my male friends???
Q. Hey cupid my ex had the password of my email when we were together he went into my myspace account when we was broken up and I was very upset we still didn't get back together... I just realized that on my facebook that every time I request a guy ...
A. 22 April 2010: Never give anyone who does this a chance. ... (read in full...)
Should I move, or stay here to let him see the kids?
Q. I found out my husband of 9 years (together for 16) was having a 4 year affair with his office manager on Christmas of last year. We decided to try to repair our marriage for the sake of our two children ages 6 and 4. I was willing to forgive his ...
A. 22 April 2010: If he's a good father, and his kids get on well with him, don't move because it will ruin your kids. I know you want to be happy, but it's worth staying for your kids and rebuilding your life here. Don't take your kids away from their school and ... (read in full...)
Should I really have a baby with this kind of man?
Q. am having a problem with my boyfriend,we are for ever arguing even if its a small mistake that comes up. he just got rude with me since he found out that i cheated on him. sometimes he even just want to beat me while he also cheats with other ...
A. 22 April 2010: Absolutely not. No. ... (read in full...)
How long do I wait to get tested?
Q. how long after having sex do you have to wait to get tested for any kind of diseases?...
A. 22 April 2010: If you think something is wrong, it's best to go now and see what they can do or if they can test for anything quickly. Don't waste time. ... (read in full...)
My ex knows my Facebook password, do you think it's him deleting my male friends???
Q. Hey cupid my ex had the password of my email when we were together he went into my myspace account when we was broken up and I was very upset we still didn't get back together... I just realized that on my facebook that every time I request a guy ...
A. 22 April 2010: Yes. Change all your passwords. ... (read in full...)
Am I asking for trouble moving nearer to his ex?
Q. Me and my on off boyfriend are thinking about moving out somewere different, he wants to move down the country to where his ex girlfriend lives. Now me and his ex used to be mates like she told me she and him where bests friends and while we were ...
A. 22 April 2010: Since he was sleeping with you and her at the same time, I don't think this is a good idea. Why bring someone who has created trouble before back into your life? Better not to. And as you say, you're the one paying as well. ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex acting so immature?
Q. My ex boyfriend whom I broke up with over the phone doesn't want to talk to me so its kind of like we didn't have a closure which now I don't care if we ever do because we haven't talk since. He went back out with his previous ex girlfriend and ...
A. 22 April 2010: This is how he has chosen to handle it. He is making a point. You dumped him over the phone, so he is cutting you out. This is what people do. Lots of them. My girlfriend cheated on me and then dumped me over the phone, and suddenly wondered why I ... (read in full...)
Letting go when I love him with all of my heart
Q. I'm in love with a guy that I've been sleeping with off and on for 6 years. We've been friends for almost 9 years and I've always had really strong feelings for him, but not until recently did it get more serious for me. He is literally my best ...
A. 22 April 2010: If you don't walk away now, and cut him out, one day he will walk away from you and you'll be even more hurt. Sometimes we have to make difficult, hurtful decisions. But it's better than waiting around knowing that the inevitable will happen. If you ... (read in full...)
Afraid I wont find love because of sheltered life
Q. im want to find love but im worried that i wont. i am 20 an have had 1 serious girlfriend wich ended in disaster she totally ruined my self confidence. i was never very good at meeting new girls and just finding the confidence to talk to a good ...
A. 22 April 2010: The first thing you need to focus on is getting a job and getting out there again. Don't worry about meeting a girlfriend just for now, focus on one thing at a time and get it together again. Right now, the most important thing is that you get your ... (read in full...)
I can't believe I was stupid enough not to think he cheated on me!
Q. I don't know what to do. I was told yesterday that my boyfriend of a year and 5 months that he slept with someone at the start of the relationship. I know the girl as he was sleeping with her before we started going out. Then I was told yesterday ...
A. 21 April 2010: He was sleeping with her before you were going out, and he then continued. He cheated on his ex's, which means he's a serial cheat. He's been violent to you. And to top if it off he's just lied over and over again. Just DUMP him. Dont think he will ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex acting so immature?
Q. My ex boyfriend whom I broke up with over the phone doesn't want to talk to me so its kind of like we didn't have a closure which now I don't care if we ever do because we haven't talk since. He went back out with his previous ex girlfriend and ...
A. 21 April 2010: This isn't about him acting immature. This is about him wanting to move on and go back to his ex. This is sometimes how it turns out. So now you need to move on and accept he's done the same. And no disrespect, but you were the one who ended it over ... (read in full...)
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