| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Why is my ex acting so immature?
Q. My ex boyfriend whom I broke up with over the phone doesn't want to talk to me so its kind of like we didn't have a closure which now I don't care if we ever do because we haven't talk since. He went back out with his previous ex girlfriend and ...
A. 22 April 2010: This is how he has chosen to handle it. He is making a point. You dumped him over the phone, so he is cutting you out. This is what people do. Lots of them. My girlfriend cheated on me and then dumped me over the phone, and suddenly wondered why I ... (read in full...)
I can't believe I was stupid enough not to think he cheated on me!
Q. I don't know what to do. I was told yesterday that my boyfriend of a year and 5 months that he slept with someone at the start of the relationship. I know the girl as he was sleeping with her before we started going out. Then I was told yesterday ...
A. 21 April 2010: He was sleeping with her before you were going out, and he then continued. He cheated on his ex's, which means he's a serial cheat. He's been violent to you. And to top if it off he's just lied over and over again. Just DUMP him. Dont think he will ... (read in full...)
Increase in desire for sex whilst pregnant - is this normal?
Q. hi im 8 weeks pregnant me and my partner are very happy and excited although it wasn't planned. thing is before i fell pregnant we would have sex 3-4 times a week, sometimes not even that, but now that im pregnant he seems to want it more, we do it...
A. 21 April 2010: Your hormones will be raging around with everything that is happening in your body, so yes, it's normal. Some women do get turned off, some find they want more. You're perfectly normal. ... (read in full...)
Damsel in distress is threatening my relationship!
Q. I recently published a question on here about a woman texting my boyfriend everyday that I was with him. We finally had a real talk about it last night and he opened up more and told me why he texted her. She told him she was suicidal, she also, ...
A. 21 April 2010: I agree that there is something wrong here. I can understand having one or two issues, but she seems to have a few too many issues to make is believable. You are right, in that the next thing that will happen is the old 'emotional support' trick. If ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend cheated on me with my friend, can I trust him again?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We have been extremely happy together. We hardly have even have gotten into fights. Recently I have noticed that he has been a little more distracted. Our friend did move in with us a month or so ...
A. 21 April 2010: Be realistic here, and listen to your head. You have a boyfriend who has cheated with your first friend. That's very low. And now he's playing the emotional blackmail card by claiming 'he's not good enough' and that he's 'scum right now'. In other ... (read in full...)
Is it me or am I choosing the wrong guys?
Q. hi, I have a problem choosing the right guys. I have lots of guys I flirt with around me, and they flirt back. I got a guy texting me for over a year now, but he's too shy or whatever to really ask me out. This other guy I met at a club went out ...
A. 21 April 2010: I think it's a mixture of you meeting the wrong men, and looking to hard. You can go out on too many dates and get to the point where you aren't picky about these men as much as you should be. Stop dating for now, and really look at the type of guy ... (read in full...)
Why do guys always stare at me?
Q. Everywhere I go, guys always stare at me, or beep their car horns, or try and chat me up and wolf whistle at me. I can't even walk my dog or go get a pint of milk from the corner shop without getting oggled. I dress appropriately, for example...
A. 21 April 2010: Chances are you are very attractive. ... (read in full...)
Will any man love an ashamed ex-prostitute?
Q. I am from an abusive family and at the age of 16 I ran away from home. I am ashamed to admit this but I turned to prostitution. I did this for a few months. It is a dark depressing period in my life. I eventually moved in with a friend from ...
A. 21 April 2010: There will be a man who accepts you just as you are. You never need to tell them about your past if you don't want to. All you need to do is say it was difficult. If you do tell them, reassure them you have moved on from that period of your life. ... (read in full...)
Two pregnancy tests say "negative" but I still wonder ....
Q. heya .. am an 18 year old who has been on the implant since middle of december, and i havnt been on my period since. a week ago i had a bit of brown stuff in my knickers just like you get when your just finishing a period and when i wipe my s...
A. 21 April 2010: Two tests have said negative, yet you're certainly showing signs of something. Go to the doctor and get checked out, as that's the only way to know for sure. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend angry we broke up and says "Once a whore, always a whore!"
Q. I need your help. I have no one else to turn to about this. I can't talk to my family and I no longer am able to talk to my best friends. This is alittle complicated, my boyfriend and I dated in highschool for 2 years and during that time I did some ...
A. 21 April 2010: I agree with the posts below. Even if you have to go to a woman's shelter, you need to get away from this man now. ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend going on dating websites?
Q. Hi everyone, Ok, so I've found out since a week ago that my boyfriend has set up an adultfriendfinder account. We've been together for almost three years, and the thought of this ruining our relationship is heartbreaking.. But on the other hand, I ...
A. 21 April 2010: Test him and send that mail. If he's on there, he's searching for something. It's not you that's inadequate or useless. It's him. Test him and see what happens. ... (read in full...)
2 positive tests..does that mean I am pregnant?
Q. yesturday i took a home pregnancy test (i brought two) i took one yesturday which came out positive right away, then this morning i took the other just to be sure and that also came out positive right away. i brought the tests because i was 3 weeks ...
A. 21 April 2010: You are almost certainly pregnant if you've got two tests saying you are and you're late on your period and breasts are tender. ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my teacher but he shows no interest in me!
Q. hi. please help me i have had hhe same Health and Physical Education teacher for the past 3 years. I am 15 turning 16 at the end of the year. I have completely fallen for him. He is 30 with a wife and two adorable children. I dream about him ...
A. 21 April 2010: He's happily married, he has children, and you're far too young. That's why he's not interested. Try anything and you could get him fired and ruin his life. You have a crush, and you will get over it. Enjoy your crush, but don't think it can go any ... (read in full...)
My partner keeps changing her story about her past, what should I believe?
Q. ive been with my partner for 6 years and at the start she told me she had 4 previous partners and liked making me jealous, and it worked and as time went on i asked her how the sex was with them, then all of a sudden she said she only slept with 3, ...
A. 21 April 2010: Stop asking her. She either had a lot, and is ashamed, or she only had one and was worried she didn't have enough experience. Stop asking and accept that she has a past. ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex acting so immature?
Q. My ex boyfriend whom I broke up with over the phone doesn't want to talk to me so its kind of like we didn't have a closure which now I don't care if we ever do because we haven't talk since. He went back out with his previous ex girlfriend and ...
A. 21 April 2010: This isn't about him acting immature. This is about him wanting to move on and go back to his ex. This is sometimes how it turns out. So now you need to move on and accept he's done the same. And no disrespect, but you were the one who ended it over ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with her inconsiderate smoking?
Q. Hi everyone. My girlfriend arrived three days ago, and she is irritating the hell out of me. I'm highly allergic to cigarette smoke, and she insists on smoking on my apartment. Everything in here smells like smoke, and I'm now having a hard time ...
A. 21 April 2010: If you don't want her smoking, then tell her straight that because you're allergic to the smoke, she cannot smoke in your apartment. You just have to be honest and tell her you're allergic to it. ... (read in full...)
After only 2 months together my girlfriend thinks I'm boring! How can I change this?
Q. My girlfriend of 2 ish months says i'm boring. What should i do to make her feel that i'm not boring. Our relationship is still new but i must say that we've been through a lot of things together. Please help! I need guidance for this because i'm...
A. 21 April 2010: Ask her what you can do to be a little more exciting. The problem I have is that if she fancied you that much, she would be able to say that you are more than just 'boring'. It's more likely that she's not ready for any kind of relationship and is a ... (read in full...)
Best friends, or not?
Q. Ok, honestly, by best friend was a guy, but I never liked him more than a friend, I just want to make that clear. Here's my problem though, I had told him something that I didn't want anyone else to know, because it was REALLY private, then one day ...
A. 21 April 2010: I think it's worth making new friends. He may have made a mistake blurting it out, but he broke your trust and that's not good enough. I think it's worth keeping him as a friend, but it's also worth making other ones.... (read in full...)
Is his 'busy at work' an excuse?
Q. For 4 months I chatted to a man over the internet, things had been going really great. Then all of a sudden he stops emailing, texting and calling…completely. 2 weeks went by and I had had not seen him online at all which I thought was rather str...
A. 21 April 2010: Whenever a man does something like this, it usually means there is another woman somewhere. I'd suggest you move on now before you get even more hurt. I think he's found someone else, and I think you deserve better than a man who just disappears. ... (read in full...)
What's going on with my girlfriend?
Q. What is going on with my girlfriend? We've been dating for over a year and everything has been going really great. She has been very sweet and everything. However a few weeks ago she went away on a volunteer trip with a group of girls for her coll...
A. 21 April 2010: You are right, something is very wrong here. I'm not sure what happened on that trip, but it could be that she had a major argument with someone on it. I think you need to tell her that you are there for her if she wants to talk, but that you will ... (read in full...)
My ex's cousin wants me to go out with him but I don't want to
Q. so im 15 years young recently i've been saying im over my ex alot of times yet i know im not in fact i think i love him my ex boyfriend.my exboyfriend cousin likes me hes always calling me and seening how am i doing and when im not in the mood he ...
A. 21 April 2010: You don't have to go out with anyone you don't want to. You know this guy isn't the one, so it's best not to go out with him. ... (read in full...)
Do I go for "True happiness" or "This is alright"
Q. Right I'm going to skip the nonsense and get straight to the point. I've been with my partner for two years. He has problems due to an accident. He is on a hell of a lot of medications and shows no interest in sex. He is snappy and no matter what he ...
A. 21 April 2010: You don't deserve the treatment you are getting from the guy you're with now. Granted he has no interest in sex, but that doesn't mean he has to be snappy or emotionally blackmail you. And his laziness is no excuse either. The truth is, this man ... (read in full...)
I can't stand the sight of my alcoholic husband!
Q. hello i have a question about my marriage we have been together for 12 years in the past 5 years we can't see eye to eye my husband is now drinking very heavily and only wants sex when he is tipsi and i can't stand the site of him when he is ...
A. 20 April 2010: There comes a point where you must look out for yourself. From what you've said, you've already tried to get him to seek help, and he hasn't, and now it's got to the point where he is so blatantly treating you badly and looking at other women when ... (read in full...)
Should I accept a big pay reduction in order to achieve my dream?
Q. I have a good job in education but it was not my dream job. I have always dreamt of working for a large international airline as cabin crew. I turned down a job with BA to take up a management job. Now I am hating it. I love the money but no ...
A. 20 April 2010: You hate the job, but love the money. That's understandable. But, let's face it, the dream matters more. You said yourself that you want to work in the cabin crew. If that's what you want, and you can do it, then go for it. ... (read in full...)
Wife with increase in sex drive!
Q. I have been with my husband for 6 years now, I am in my mid thirties and recently had an extreme increase in libido. I want sex all the time, I fantasize all day about sex, not only with my husband but with other men. I have even fantasized about ...
A. 20 April 2010: I'd talk to him. I'm sure he'd be up for trying more. You won't know unless you talk to him, and you do need to or you'll become more and more frustrated. ... (read in full...)
Should I write my crush a letter expressing how I feel?
Q. I have had a thing for my teacher for a while now, but he doesn't teach me and never has he just works at my school.. I don't want advise on how to get him or anything like that but I just want to know peoples opinions on me writing him a letter ...
A. 20 April 2010: No, don't write a letter. Say nothing. You could get him fired and sent to jail. School crushes are out of bounds, no matter what. He is a teacher, you're a student and that's it. Enjoy your crush, but don't try anything or you'll ruin both your ... (read in full...)
How can he tell these lies???
Q. i am feeling so angry and stupid right now, me and my boyfriend broke up, i found out he was spending nights with someone else, he did not tell me,(although they swear as just friends), he knows that i do not trust him yet as he did cheat on me in ...
A. 20 April 2010: He did it, because he could. That's the way men like him think. He knew he could lie and have his own way, so he did. The best thing you can now do is bow out of his life and cease contact. If you email him to vent your anger, it will look like he ... (read in full...)
He won't let go of his separated wife for me.
Q. Hi, i am a 41 year old woman, i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and it has been a very up and down relationship, he has always been a very angry man and i have found it very hard with him, we have a 2 year old child together of which he ...
A. 20 April 2010: Now he's getting violent, and your child saw. You must leave or it will seriously affect your child. ... (read in full...)
Do I have the right to see these conversations he has with another woman? Or am I in the wrong here?
Q. For the past month ive been suspecting my bf has not been entirely truthful on where hes been going and the txts hes been recieving, so on his phone bill a number appeared over and over again just as much as mine, so i made up a story and txt it f...
A. 20 April 2010: The fact she lied and said she didn't have his number is an indication that he's been up to no good. And on top of it he's blaming you. There was no reason for him to lie, which means he's up to no good. ... (read in full...)
Will our relationship be negatively affected by this?
Q. Me and my boifrend masterbate while talking on the phone evryday. Can this harm me in any way?...
A. 20 April 2010: No. But do be careful of your bill. It's a lot of money when it arrives!... (read in full...)
Is she cheating, or is there something else lacking in our relationship?
Q. I have a problem i drive truck over the road and i like what i do. I am gone for a month and half at a time. I meet this girl and we hit it off right away and been dating for 5 months at first we would talk on the phone for hours on end about ...
A. 20 April 2010: I think it's more likely she just feels a little rejected. There isn't enough to say that she's cheating. I've always found with women that if you do talk to them gently, they will open up. So maybe it's worth talking to her and saying you've ... (read in full...)
Unprotected sex for last 3 weeks..am I pregnant?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been having intercourse without proctection for the last 20days last week i started feeling sick randomly and everytime i get up i feel extremly dizzy makes me feel more sick and have a headache also i started smelling...
A. 20 April 2010: It sounds like you are. You need to get tested. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend found out that I love my best friend!
Q. ok...well....i love my best friend....and i have a boyfriend now that i love...and they both really like me...and my best frind lives an hour and a hlf away and my current bf lives with me (long story)...... but... and my bestfriend says that he ...
A. 20 April 2010: If you won't cut your best friend out of your life, knowing that you love him, then you really have to look at your relationship with your boyfriend. You cannot spend the rest of your life loving two different men, keeping them both in your life and ... (read in full...)
Slept with ex and need some advice!!
Q. I recently split with my boyfriend of 4.5 years. The past 5 months have been a rollercoaster and although we only seperated 6 weeks ago i think i came to terms with it over a long period of ups and downs. We do not get along anymore and he is not ...
A. 19 April 2010: I think neither of these men is right for you. I think you need to move on from both and really focus on yourself for now, because it seems like you need to address the type of man you fancy. Neither of these are right for you. ... (read in full...)
How do I handle a workaholic husband?
Q. How to handle a workaholic husband? I really dont want to end this 20 year long marriage,but my husband is pushing it to my limits.. He is working on the computer, so his work hours are 9-10 everyday or more also on the weekends. He is totally ...
A. 19 April 2010: I'm really sorry about this, and it's a shame my girlfriend isn't here to talk to you, because she had this problem with her ex husband. And that in many ways tells you how your own marriage will end.
This is a man who is totally into himself and ... (read in full...)
He's talks big about sexcapades, but he doesn't come through in the bedroom!
Q. Why does my new boyfriend talk big but not act on it? I've been seeing this guy a few months. He lately has been descriptive of what he wants to do to me in bed. He says things like "I wanna Butt F* u" or "are you ready to get on all fours and purr ...
A. 19 April 2010: Men are great at talk and no action. Anyone can say anything, but they might suddenly be very shy. Try taking the initiative and ordering around a bit. See what he does then. Perhaps he's just worried you won't like it, or he's far more shy than he ... (read in full...)
He's in no hurry to divorce his wife! what should I do?
Q. I have been dating this guy for two years who is separated. he is so good to me and we have such a great relationship. I could never imagine my life without him in it but my problem is everytime I mention him getting a divorce he gets offensive and ...
A. 19 April 2010: If he won't divorce her, then that means he's not totally committed to you. Realistically, when a man loves you, he will divorce his wife to be with you. They're already separated, so it's not like the children haven't already been through the pain ... (read in full...)
Do we have a problem here?
Q. Is This A Problem? A few months ago my boyfriend and I discussed how to have more intimate time since work and being tired were getting in the way. He came up with the idea of planning midweek overnight rendezvous to make sure we got together...
A. 19 April 2010: He might just be nervous, or worried that it's not the right time. Talk to him again and see what happens.... (read in full...)
Do you ever get over your first love?
Q. Hi, I have a question that maybe subjective but do you ever get over your first love? I am a happily married 37 yr old and have been with my husband for fourteen years now. My first real boyfriend was when I was 17 and we went out for two year...
A. 19 April 2010: I got over my first love cheating and dumping on me, because I didn't look for closure. I never asked her why, I went out my way to get over the anger and hate and pain because it was the most logical thing to do. You are over your first love. But ... (read in full...)
Will I ever move on from my infatuation with a work colleague? Or should I continue to pursue him despite our marriages?
Q. For almost two years I have been attracted to a married colleague at work. He has 3 kids. I myself am also married with 2 kids. My husband works in another country so I only get to see him other every 2-3 months. It initially started just a ...
A. 19 April 2010: Leave him in the past. He is happily married, and made that clear. your pursuit of him has sent him packing, very much for the best. This now gives you time to address the real problem, which is your marriage. You were looking at this other guy ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I might have set my standards too high and I will never meet anyone who is right for me!
Q. Hello, I hope you guys can help. I am almost 25 and a virgin. I can't quite find anyone who is good enough to a) have sex with b) have a REAL relationship with. It's just that I feel as if I have waited for the right guy but all the m...
A. 19 April 2010: There is no harm in looking for the right guy. But you say you can't find any. I can assure you they are out there, but you'll find is in a variety of places. Where you are trying to find guys?... (read in full...)
My gut is telling me that he's gay and he doesn't realize he is!
Q. I think the guy I've been seeing may be gay why do I think this? 1. He asked for a threesome with another guy and when I said 'no' he said he was only joking and seriously wouldn't do that 2. He wears spandex under his sweatshirts (he says ...
A. 19 April 2010: Well something is going on. For a young man to have sex for a couple of times then stop, I'd say that something is wrong anyway. I think you need to talk to him and ask him where he sees this relationship going. Don't ask him if he's day, but ... (read in full...)
He won't let go of his separated wife for me.
Q. Hi, i am a 41 year old woman, i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and it has been a very up and down relationship, he has always been a very angry man and i have found it very hard with him, we have a 2 year old child together of which he ...
A. 17 April 2010: I'm afraid you need to leave this man. End of. I could be here all day explaining why you should leave. I can't spend a second telling you why you should keep him. ... (read in full...)
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