| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Am I naive or is he a pro liar?
Q. Hey, how do i know if the guy i'm in love with is not taking me for sex, we dated for a couple of months before i realized that he has a girlfriend, we were having a long distance relationship and seeing each other once every 3 weeks. To cut the ...
A. 10 May 2010: Yes. He's using you and that's it. You need to move on. ... (read in full...)
If we don't have sex now he gets mad at me!
Q. me and my boyfriend have been fighting alot and we love eachother. we're 15 and have been together for just about a year. a couple weekends ago we had sex for the first time and it wasnt his first time but it was mine, and now if we dont do things ...
A. 10 May 2010: Dump him immediately. He's using you for sex and nothing else.... (read in full...)
Should I say something about his browsing online dating sites?
Q. I have been seeing my boyfriend for around 7 months. I have known from the start that he previously had social dating accounts - but has never met or hooked up with people or paid for subscriptions.. He likes to look at profiles, at what is out ...
A. 10 May 2010: To be honest, yes I think you should. If he's still on those sites, then he's not totally committed. You deserve either total commitment, or you'll have to let him go. Don't be second best.... (read in full...)
Dating and inexperienced man--can I show his the basics? I'm still hurt from last relationship
Q. a little history of my situation. i recently left a physically and mentally abusive man. shortly after that, i started seeing a friend of a friend. we like each other quite a bit, thats not a question. he has never been in a "serious" relationship, ...
A. 10 May 2010: I'm with Doctor V I'm afraid. You seem to be picking men who are abusers. You need to end it with this man before you get hurt again. It's clear that he's a player and that he will use you. You need to end it.... (read in full...)
We adore each other and have been good for each other but I can't be intimate with him because I'm a lesbian
Q. Hi there everyone, I really need some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and I absolutely adore him, I love him. But I'm a lesbian. I've been with girls, had relationships with girls and I'm unable to be in...
A. 10 May 2010: He will be fine. You can't stay with someone because of what they might do. Anything he does after you end it is his own decision. That's it. You can't continue this and you know it. you have to end it.... (read in full...)
Tired of all the drama but something says to hold on just a little longer
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 8 months. I think I think we fell in love instantly. We started having sex about 4 or 5 months after we met and our relationship started getting better and better. I shared things with him that I ...
A. 10 May 2010: There is no hope. That little voice is preventing you from seeing the truth. On/off relationships never work out. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. All those little stupid arguments will be the same or worse in a few ... (read in full...)
I'm married, but thinking of having an affair!!! help!!
Q. i'm a 31 year old married woman. my husband and i have been married for six years, and we have no children. i have been friends with a man for half of my life, and i've known him WAY longer than my husband. this friend and i have been exchangi...
A. 10 May 2010: He doesn't love you. As I man, I can show you right now he doesn't.
1 - He has been married twice already. He is divorced once, and is already having troubles in his next marriage to the point where he is considering and affair. That shows how badl... (read in full...)
He dumped me because another girls was cute and had good boobs!
Q. Hi Cupid My bf broke up with me yesterday, it hurts like hell. I just wanted to die. The reason for break up he said is he moved on and has met an younger girl (im older than him) who is cute and has good boobs. I cant believe the reason he told m...
A. 10 May 2010: You now know that there are far better men out there. What a small minded little boy you were dating. Take your time getting over him and find a man instead. There are a lot of other, far better men out there who will want a loyal girlfriend like ... (read in full...)
He's sending explicit photos to me and wants the same back!
Q. This guy im talking keeps sending me non stop nude photos of him... they are veery explicit and wants the same from me. He sometimes begs for photos. I never have sent a picture but shouldi be worried? I have a feeling this guy is jut using me for ...
A. 10 May 2010: This guy is more interested in sex and a quick thrill than he is in actually getting to know you. A man who really wants to get to know you and has more on his mind that sex won't ask for photos or send them. He'll want to get to know you before all ... (read in full...)
Male co-workers g/f doesn't like us girls and gives us the evil eye! should we be worried?
Q. Morning peeps. My male colleagues girlfriend is jealous of his frienships at work. The guy in question joined our team about 7 months ago and we arranged a night out whereby we could bring our partners and he bought his gf. We all tried to ...
A. 10 May 2010: She's clearly very insecure and worried about something. Don't be too hard on her. If he's just started a new job, it could very well be that he's had an affair elsewhere, such as at his old job, and she is naturally wary that he's up to no good. I ... (read in full...)
I love this married man so much...what should I do?
Q. Hia, i've got a major problem and it's really tearing me up cause i don't know what to do. I've just turned 18, and my parents know this woman (let's say her name is amy) and have done for a few years,and they are very good friends.She's ma...
A. 9 May 2010: Married man = you're about to be used.
Even if he does leave her, this won't work out. First up, you'll always have his child around to remind you that he has another life, and you'll have a lot of guilt. Secondly, if he can cheat on his wife and ... (read in full...)
My heart says fight for him or should I let him go?
Q. MY husband and I have been together for 8 years and married for almost 4. We have a 3 year old and I am 4 months pregnant. We have had a bump relationship for a while. He got into drugs and cheated on me. I turned to his parents for help telling ...
A. 9 May 2010: It's not your job to be fighting for a drug taking cheat. He should be fighting for you. He's proved nothing, other than he's still involved with this other woman and he's still on drugs. There is no going back to the 'old you', because the the ... (read in full...)
Should I divorce my workaholic husband?
Q. Should I divorce my workaholic husband? I am tired of being alone after 15yrs of marriage and want more.? He isn't a bad man but he has a full time job and then started a second business. I have spent our entire marriage begging him to spend mo...
A. 9 May 2010: All I can say is that my girlfriend was married to a man who did nothing but work. In the end, she felt so alone that she had to leave him.
Now she feels a million times better, she's doing her own thing and leading her own life. She's come out ... (read in full...)
I like two boys! Which one should I date?
Q. Hey There is a boy whom I've known for years, and we have been out on and off since i met him, which is about four years. Im in year 8 now and on facebook he asked me out. But my mum said that she wouldnt like it if i went out with him again, ...
A. 9 May 2010: Date neither. The first guy you have been seeing on/off. That means it's not working, and that it never will work. your mother is warning you, and so am I. On/off relationships are a total disaster. If you still like the first guy, then it would be ... (read in full...)
He sees me only for casual sex and I care about him a lot! How do I deal with this?
Q. I feel so lonely... I have great friends,I am surrounded by great people but I feel so low. I found out the guy I was seeing only sees me as someone for casual sex, and I know for a fact that he is sleeping around. There are 2 other guys who I...
A. 9 May 2010: Well if you don't block this man from you're life, you're in for a real rough ride. Because at some point he is going to meet a woman who he does love and that will be it. That's what players do. They use, then when the find the One, they dump the ... (read in full...)
He says I have a special place in his heart..what does that mean?
Q. i have intense feelings for my close friend-we have the deepest conversations and get on amazingly well. he calls me 7/8 times a day and we're always on the phone for ages. i know i love him but cant ask if he feels the same way as hes told me hes ...
A. 9 May 2010: You're a friend. Nothing more. Sorry, but you need to move on.... (read in full...)
I think he's cheating because he doesn't answer my calls
Q. So if you call you boyfriend after you come back from shopping, he doesn't pick up when you call the first two times and it barley rings 4 times, you wait a while and call a third time and the other time it rings 5times.. I'm pretty sure he i...
A. 9 May 2010: He's either cheating or he doesn't give a damn. Either way, it sounds like this is coming to an end.... (read in full...)
I'd love to date my close friend but I'm ashamed of my financial situation
Q. i adore my close friend and would love us to date-i know hes fond of me. im scared of him knowing stuff-like how my ex left me edging on bankruptcy thanks to his grasping so im insolvent for 3 more years and my flat looks really bad. i have little ...
A. 9 May 2010: If he likes you that much, he won't care. He really won't. Most men really don't care about money at all. You'll get the occasional one who will try to use a woman. But if this guy likes you that much, and he clearly does, he just won't care. ... (read in full...)
I don't mind helping someone get on their feet, but I don't want to be taken for a fool.
Q. I have started seeing a man 22 and i'm 43. It started well but he asks me for five or ten dollars here or there and i pay for our dates since i have a full time job and his is part time. He is looking for a full time job also to get a car and we ...
A. 9 May 2010: You're being used.... (read in full...)
He has a g/f but flirts with me alot
Q. Dear cupid, I like this guy, and have for a long time. He has a girlfriend, but he flirts with me a lot. He's three years older, and I don't know what to do. Help me?...
A. 9 May 2010: He has a girlfriend. That's all you need to know about him. Don't be a tool ... (read in full...)
We adore each other and have been good for each other but I can't be intimate with him because I'm a lesbian
Q. Hi there everyone, I really need some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and I absolutely adore him, I love him. But I'm a lesbian. I've been with girls, had relationships with girls and I'm unable to be in...
A. 9 May 2010: You're going to hurt him even more if you don't end it. You have to let him go. You can't keep him sitting there like a comfort blanket. Yes, you love him. But not in the way he wants or needs. It's time to move on.... (read in full...)
He's married and I have a boyfriend! Should we stop seeing each other?
Q. hello evry 1 i have a question im a female 30 i hav a boyfriend but i rarely see him but i love him...but on the other hand i met a great man wonderful hes perfect in every way hes tall dark n handsome i ended up cheating on my bf with this ...
A. 9 May 2010: He's so wonderful that he's married with kids and lied to you. And you fell for it and cheated. Not only do you give up the married man who is just using you and will ditch you, you need to let your boyfriend go so he can find a woman who does love ... (read in full...)
How hard will a guy try to get a woman into bed if he doesn't want a relationship?
Q. I'm confused about this guy's intentions... He initiated conversation with me, chased me for dates, etc. Actually, he's one of the sweetest, most attentive guys i've ever been out with. Actually, he's so sweet that it makes me nervous... I...
A. 9 May 2010: Time. It's all about time with men. The longer he continues to see you, the more he is interested. So make him work hard and don't give too much away too quickly. ... (read in full...)
Is phone sex more of a chore than fun for girls?
Q. How much masturbating is to much? And also do girls like phone sex? They make it seem more like a chore than fun....
A. 9 May 2010: Masturbating isn't a problem, and women seem to have as much fun a men with phone sex. ... (read in full...)
This will be the last night I'll probably ever see him, should I tell my ex how I feel?
Q. From my part, it was the greatest love of my life.From the minute i set eyes on him.. [ i was 14], i love him. Now eighteen, four years later, my feelings havnt gone away. We've been broken up for three years, but we always someone how find ...
A. 9 May 2010: If he is single, you need to know 'what if'. You'll kick yourself if you don't say something now. If he's not single, then it's too late. ... (read in full...)
Should I stop messin' around with him?
Q. I have this guy who is my friend and me and him mess around alot not anything sexual but we do stuff like kissing and flirtin. Anyways he just started to go out with my friend and im really mad because she know we mess around. And even though they ...
A. 9 May 2010: Not a whore, no. But every time you kiss this guy who has a girlfriend, you're stabbing you friend in the back, you're damaging your reputation and you are certainly leaving your own self respect in the gutter. So stop messing around with him. ... (read in full...)
Trust issues are in the way..should I stay or go?
Q. Where do i start! I have been with my oh for almost 3 yrs now, we have a 23 month old daughter, but right now we are close to finishing! We have trust issues, i thought we finally got over them but then i found out he had been lying again so my ...
A. 9 May 2010: He's a liar, and spends most of his time drinking or falling asleep. Truth is, unless you are both willing to get counselling and find out what the problem is, you might as well end it. You can be sure that even though your daughter is young, she'll ... (read in full...)
15 flat and a tomboy!
Q. Well, there's this thing. I'm 15 and well, I'm flat. All my friends are way more developed than me, which makes this problem even suckier. Guys in my school tease me for it and the guys who are close to me tell me that I'm pretty, nice and all, but ...
A. 9 May 2010: You still have time to develop. And young guys are immature anyway, so there's no rush. You have guy friends who tell you that you're pretty, so listen to them. And there's nothing wrong with being a tomboy either. The problem is that young men are ... (read in full...)
Drugs and cheating tore us apart but I still love him
Q. Hello, My ex and I fell in love at first sight - or at least in lust! After two weeks we started going out with each other and it was wonderful. I worked seasonly and had to go back to tour guiding in Spring. He was upset about this but wee said we ...
A. 9 May 2010: This man is a lying cheat. He hasn't suddenly changed in 4 months. He's still the same lying cheat, and he will treat you the same way as before. He will still use drugs, and he will never ever put your first. That is who is he. He is a drug ... (read in full...)
Does he like me or not? What are signs I should look out for?
Q. To try and keep it short, I need some advice on figuring out if this guy likes me or not. We go to different unis so I've seen him out only a few times, most times have been at clubs when we go with our own group of friends. He is a friend o...
A. 9 May 2010: He does like you. But you are right, he is a player. He strikes me as a player too. Far too much. I would pay attention to how he treats you other than just an object he clearly wants to have sex with. You don't want to end up used. ... (read in full...)
Does my ex really love me or am I being strung along?
Q. My ex and i broke up after a year and 2 months together at the end of last year. (We broke up because we argued too much) During the 4 months we had apart we saw other people but we decided that we still loved eachother and met up again. The thing...
A. 9 May 2010: Yes he is using you. He's not committing, but is happy to have sex. He's using you. You are being strung along by him. All those problems that you had before, all those arguments, you will have again because you're not sorting the problem and ... (read in full...)
I love my maths teacher (i am a boy)
Q. i have a small er crush on my teacher.shes about 30 and really nice looking and has a big heart.but when ever i see her i cant take my eyes of her.sometimes when she helps someone eles in front of me i stare at her backside...i know its wrong.even ...
A. 8 May 2010: Relax. This is normal. You're not weird at all. I had a crush on a female teacher as well once. Just enjoy it, but remember it can't go further. ... (read in full...)
I know the relationship is wrong but I don't want to let go of him
Q. I dont really know where to start...I have been best friends with a guy for the last three or four years who has helped me through a previouse relationship with his friend..He has always been there for me and listened to me endlessly speak of my ...
A. 8 May 2010: Never in a million years will Sam leave his wife. You know what you have to do. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is never the cause of the reactions he gets
Q. What do I do when my boyfriend thinks that he is not the cause of any fights or the reactions he gets due to his rude comments, or sarcasm. He only wants to deal with my reaction but not the stimulus that he has sent....
A. 8 May 2010: If he's in denial this much, you have to ask yourself whether he's worth the effort. You'll be banging your head against a brick wall if you stay with him. ... (read in full...)
She has a long distance boyfriend but she flirts with me
Q. I like this girl a lot. We flirt each other, texting, hang out, talking on the phone. She told me that she is in a long distance relationship with a guy 2 yrs. She doesnt want to give up but it makes her tired now. She keeps sending me signals ...
A. 8 May 2010: I'm not a girl. But I know that it's never right to move on another guys' girl, that's for sure. Unless she ends it with him first, she's not worth your time. You'll get a bad reputation, and if she cheats on him, she'll do it to you. Until she is ... (read in full...)
Why wont he take me seriously and go away?
Q. Ok I almost had An affair with a married man that is twice my age. I am 31 years old and married for 6 yrs. I started to fall for this man at work who is a surgeon that is really attractive for his age. We started having coffee and talking on the ...
A. 8 May 2010: You really do need to report him. ASAP. ... (read in full...)
Are there any real woman,who would like to team up,and get our ex's back home :o)...? Ladies?Only if you feel it's worth it.
Q. hello.i am very much still in love with my ex.and i want to work on getting him back...we are both on the verge of getting married.well were both engaged.we text,here and there.and message on myspace.we are eachothers first love.so i feel why ...
A. 8 May 2010: If you do this, you're going to lose it all. Men are very predictable. If your ex loved you, he would have said something by now. That's how a man in love works. I think you're setting yourself up for pain here. ... (read in full...)
New guy I'm dating is backing off because of my ex
Q. I'm not even sure where to start... I met this guy about a month ago, we hit it off really well and had a kind of whirl wind for the past 4 weeks. Everything was going great, until 4 days ago. I have been sinlge for a year before I met this guy...
A. 8 May 2010: He might, he might not. The best thing you can do is just give him space to think. He's obviously going to think over the weekend and will then meet you, so just continue speaking to him when he contacts, but don't hassle him or anything like that. ... (read in full...)
Torn between two wonderful men
Q. I need some major help. I'm torn between two wonderful men. The first one I'll call him Fred and the other I'll call Matt. Fred and I have been together for 11yrs. I love him so much. We've been through so much. But a couple of years ago my f...
A. 8 May 2010: I think Matt is your escape. Your heart isn't with Fred at all, so it's best to leave him. Yes it will hurt him and break his heart, but if he finds out you've been cheating on him, then you'll feel worse and he really will hate you for it even ... (read in full...)
Should I feel any guilt for wanting to make a new start for myself?
Q. I am a 46 yr old woman, I am in desperate need for change. I want to relocate somewhere else and make a new start. New job, meet new people, boyfriend, etc. I have two grown children 22,24 who I have raised alone, after divorce when they were ...
A. 8 May 2010: Not at all. You've done everything yourself and everything that you needed to. You had two boys and brought them up yourself, and they are now both in secure jobs. Your younger son will be married soon, so him not having you around won't be the end ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me not to talk to other guys. I'm scared he'll leave me!
Q. me and my boyfriend have been fighting lately and we love eachother very much i feel like everythings my fault of all the fights im scared that hes gonna lt me go again im happy with him but the other day my guy friend gave me a hug like a friendly ...
A. 8 May 2010: No disrespect, but when you let your boyfriend tell you who you can and can't be friends with, then you're with the wrong man. He has no right to dictate who you see. I think this guy is starting to control you far too much. Think carefully about ... (read in full...)
Why wont he take me seriously and go away?
Q. Ok I almost had An affair with a married man that is twice my age. I am 31 years old and married for 6 yrs. I started to fall for this man at work who is a surgeon that is really attractive for his age. We started having coffee and talking on the ...
A. 8 May 2010: AskOldersister is right on the money. He sees you as sport and is now chasing you because he can see that you might break. You can stop him though by going to his superiors and claiming sexual harassment. Also, if there are problems in your marriage ... (read in full...)
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