| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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He slept with someone during the time I needed space to think about my ex, what did this girl mean to him?
Q. I went out with James about 5 times and we hit it off really well. I didn't sleep with him, just went on dates. My ex then contacted me and I was in a mess trying to figure out what to do. I broke it off with James because I wasn't sure how I felt. ...
A. 11 May 2010: A rebound. And he regrets it, which is why he told you. Let it go. ... (read in full...)
All of a sudden he wants nothing more to do with me, only days after he told me he loved me!
Q. ive been going out with an older man for many years, we dont live together and as we are a bit apart we dont see each other that often, but weve always had a great relationship with its ups and downs not many downs,, id say, we talk a lot onlin...
A. 11 May 2010: Sounds like a married man to me, who was about to get found out. You're better off without him. Take your time getting over him, and find another who will commit. The red flag was that you've been seeing each other for years yet there was no sign ... (read in full...)
We are forever breaking up and getting back together again, what should I do?
Q. ok..this may be long and i appologize but its doing my head in..also i hope it makes some kind of sense! 2 and a half years ago i moved interstate with my partner for work ,hes always earned a lot of money and i also ended up with a pretty g...
A. 11 May 2010: This won't work. On/off relationships never work. That's the reason they're on off. You need to let him go and move on from him, because otherwise this will be your life. Just on/off... (read in full...)
Why is the man I am having an affair with behaving this way?
Q. Could someone please explain what this guy is doing to me,by the things he is saying. Well for starters he is married and we have been having an affair on and off now for 30yrs, with some breaks in between. I know his wife but only on a very cas...
A. 11 May 2010: This guy really is something else. He has played you and his wife like musical instruments for the past 30 years. I'd say get away from him, but I don't think you will. He is a major narcissist, and you can do better. I really pity his wife, and I ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is very sensitive and I accidentally offended her! How can I make things right?
Q. Hey all. Thanks for checking out my question. Okay, so my girl is VERY sensitive. Yesterday, I called her and everything was okay. We talked about this and that until the point where her friend called when i was talking to her. Her friend made ...
A. 11 May 2010: I have to be honest, this would really make me think about this relationship. I admit I've stepped in it on three occasions with my girlfriend, but not about something this trivial. If your girlfriend is going to act this way every time you say ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I love my b/f anymore, there's someone else
Q. Basically I have been in a relationship for a long long time. I met him when we were young teens and have been with him ever since. I really did used to love him, despite the face he cheated on me numerous times. I forgave him but we still have ...
A. 11 May 2010: You need to end this mess now. Neither you or your boyfriend are committed, and this is not going to get better. Whether he's suffered a bereavement or not, you have to leave. He'll feel worse if he knows you were cheating on him while he was ... (read in full...)
What will happen after no sex for 8 months?
Q. if a woman doesnt have sex for 8 months will her vagina tear the first time she does ...
A. 11 May 2010: No. She'll be fine. ... (read in full...)
She cheated on her ex! Should I stay with her?
Q. I have a girlfriend and we are in a relationship since last six months. Her ex-boyfriend came to me and told me everything that existed between him and my girlfriend. They used to kiss a lot, even got physical but it was not proper. They were in a ...
A. 11 May 2010: He might just be saying all these things because she dumped him. You have no proof at all that she cheated. You need to get over this.... (read in full...)
Lately, my husband's lovemaking behaviors have been different! Just wondering why this has happened?
Q. My husband and I have been together for 7 yrs married for 5yr. We have always had a great relationship and a great sex life. Recently he got a new job that takes him out of town for the first week of every month. Ever since he came home the last ...
A. 11 May 2010: There are two possibilities. One, is that he is cheating and he's learning these things elsewhere. The other is that him going away sometimes has made him more lustful and he just comes back wanting it. If you think he is cheating, you need to do a ... (read in full...)
My teacher won't mark my work!! What should I do?
Q. I did all my work. I went to hand it in and my teacher opened the door she said no. She then shut the door in my face. What am I gonna do?? if she doesnt mark it I've failed:(2 years in college(not university):( I dont know what I have done...
A. 11 May 2010: I had a few crappy teachers too, and my father is one, so I know how crap they can be. Clearly your teacher is being childish about everything. So pull the rug under from her and go directly to the head teacher. And don't be afraid to record your ... (read in full...)
Itchy skin problems! My doc thinks it's allergies...but I'm not sure. Any input?
Q. I am having a problem. It started when I just got to America in January. Frequently, I experience itchy skin in the cold and sometimes when I am on my own and not in the cold. I also have a lot of pimples on my forehead until i started using a good ...
A. 11 May 2010: Listen to your doctor. The doctor is right. Watch your diet carefully, and watch the clothes you wear and such. Maybe you can try and figure out what it is. ... (read in full...)
I had a dream my bf cheated on me!
Q. I had a dream my boyfriend cheated on me.? He had sex with some girl in a closet, then some where else too but he wouldn't confess that. Then he was telling me all of this like he didn't care, like this was nothing. I woke up with my heart poundin...
A. 11 May 2010: It's just a dream. Maybe you need a bit more reassurance from your boyfriend or something, or maybe your relationship just needs a bit more effort. ... (read in full...)
My bf took me off his Top Friends list on Facebook!! Why would he do that?
Q. My boyfriend has a top friend list on his face book for 15 people and i was in it. Today for some reason he took me out of it! We see each other everyday and he is so loving and kind. And when i got home from his house i noticed he replaced me with ...
A. 11 May 2010: Facebook is the killer of relationships for this reason. It means nothing. Friends are friends. You're his girlfriend. That's higher. Maybe it depends on how much he contacts you through facebook and how much he contacts other people. I know a ... (read in full...)
Is this guy a player or what?
Q. hello, its been a while now that iv been texting a guy who is 6 years older than me. when he first txt he wanted to know if im single. today i found out that he has a girlfriend and a baby boy. he always ask me out but iv refused till now. should i ...
A. 11 May 2010: He has a girlfriend and a baby. You can be sure that he is a player. ... (read in full...)
Since we slept together he has been in touch less
Q. dear all... i have been chatting and phoning a guy for the last 2 weeks....every day...at length.. and we met at the weekend....the date was great... and we both said we wanted to meet again.... we did sleep together and it felt very natural.......
A. 11 May 2010: Of course you're not getting paranoid. He's just said that. He said he would text later and he didn't. Stick with your plan not to contact him today. But even if he does, he doesn't sound all that bothered. ... (read in full...)
Should you pursue the girl you like or let someone else pursue her?
Q. A question for the guys out there (girls are welcome to answer) If you pursue a girl you like, probably a few people will be hurt. If you let someone pursue the girl you like, only you will be hurt. So. To pursue or not to pursue? ...
A. 11 May 2010: Your ex is your ex, and that's it. You can't sit there worrying about your ex. Yes, she will get hurt. But she will get over it. However, you might be setting yourself up for a bit of heartache if you pursue her friend. Her friend may be a very ... (read in full...)
Even though we aren't exclusive, why is he dating others?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been exclusive for a few weeks. However, before becoming boyfriend and girlfriend we were friends and then we began dating for about 6 months. I didnt want to get into a relationship right away because when I met him I was ...
A. 10 May 2010: You kind of answered your own question. You are not exclusive. that said, this man is a clear user of women, and won't commit anyway, so to be honest I think you'd be better off ending it now. Don't wait around to get hurt. If he was that ... (read in full...)
How can we come to a decision on where to live?
Q. My boyfriend and I met in Costa Rica 4 years ago. I"m from the California and he is from Australia. We have lived in Costa Rica ever since. I go back to California about twice a year to visit. I have always struggled with being so far from my ...
A. 10 May 2010: He doesn't like the city, and he's not going to the US. He's not going to compromise at all on that, so it's now up to you entirely. Do you want to stay with him and live where you are now? Or are you really going to end up unhappy? From what you've ... (read in full...)
Caught wife in a car going down on another man, what to do?
Q. I was at a party this past weekend with my wife and in the middle of the party I lost my wife. When I tried to find her, she was nowhere to be found. Finally, I went out to chekc our car and she wasn't there. Ont eh way back I noticed a guy ...
A. 10 May 2010: I have to be honest here. You were at a party, she got lost and was so pathetic that she actually just went to the back of a car knowing that you were there? I'd throw her out straight away. She clearly has no regard for you at all. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants a break for the second time, but I don't understand why!
Q. Hey guys, i've been with my girlfriend for 2 years. our relationship started from meeting at a festival where she already had a boyfriend(a rebound) from her old one.. i felt really bad about this but the guy she was with didn't seem too bothere...
A. 10 May 2010: Break for a second time? She has issues, and it's best to move on now. There will only be a third and a fourth time, and that's assuming she comes back. To be honest, it sounds like she's cheating to me or something given her past. ... (read in full...)
I am a pregnant, so is another woman, and he has a new baby... What should I do?
Q. I ran into an old flame a couple months back. Alot of the old feelings that were once there started to resufurace and we spent all most everyday together. I felt something special and I slept with him a few times. I knew that he had a girlfriend and ...
A. 10 May 2010: You have walked into the age old trap. He's used you, and you can be sure there is no way he will come to you now. You're going to be a single mother on this one, so make sure you know what your rights are, make sure that you know what has has to ... (read in full...)
Why am I so crazy about her feet?
Q. I just want to massage and rub my girlfriend's feet all the time. I think it is my favorite thing to do with her. I am trying to get up enough nerve to kiss and lick them. Am I crazy?...
A. 10 May 2010: No. You have a foot fetish. Quite a few people have a foot fetish, so don't worry about it. You're not crazy at all.... (read in full...)
Since we slept together he has been in touch less
Q. dear all... i have been chatting and phoning a guy for the last 2 weeks....every day...at length.. and we met at the weekend....the date was great... and we both said we wanted to meet again.... we did sleep together and it felt very natural.......
A. 10 May 2010: Oh dear. My learned female aunts have all the said the same thing. From a male's point of view, I have to be honest and say that you've been used. You always need to take your time getting to know a man and what he really wants. I think you've do ... (read in full...)
We broke up, he spent the night, then acted cold in the AM. Is he using me?
Q. i broke up with my boyfriend like a month and a half ago, i want to know if he is using me or not! he is living with friends right now and he is required to have a visitor pass, last night he calls me and asks me if he can come over for the night ...
A. 10 May 2010: Oh yes, he's using you. He needed somewhere to stay the night. Don't bother with him again. ... (read in full...)
Changing his passwords on his accounts--says its "his business not mine"
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together a year, living together for 6 months. Last week he changed his hotmail and facebook passwords out of no where. He says its his business and none of mine. Why the sudden change? Should I be worried something is ...
A. 10 May 2010: Something's up, that's for sure. And you need to find out what. Something us up. ... (read in full...)
For the guys: Would it put you off if girl made you wait for sex?
Q. This is mainly a question for guys (sorry girls) I have only ever had one boyfriend who I was in a long relationship with. I have only ever slept with one guy. I am now recently single. My views on sex are somewhat old fashioned - in that I dont w...
A. 10 May 2010: g1605 is right. Women who make a man wait tend to catch the right man, and certainly keep his attention. Women who make it too easy are easy to forget. If you take your time, and continue to try and find the right guy, you'll be the one who gets the ... (read in full...)
how can I drive him crazy while I'm in his city???
Q. My ex and I broke up 5 months ago I still love him, for whatever reason he's trying to block me out. I'm going to the city he lives in for a week (not to see him), I know this man still loves me. So how can I drive him crazy while I'm in his city???...
A. 10 May 2010: Girl, take a look at what you've written here. Your ex broke up with you, and is trying to block you out. No he doesn't love you. At all. Men in love don't do this. You're going to end up with a restraining order if you continue like this. He's not ... (read in full...)
Lots of fish in the sea but I want this fish!
Q. So...I'm best friends with my ex-boyfriend. We were together for 10 months, he was my first boyfriend, and my first love. We broke up because, although he said he loved me, he said he wanted to be alone. He kept having these days when he wouldn't...
A. 10 May 2010: He's not coming back. It doesn't matter what you do. He's made his choice, and he's not coming back. If you don't move on, you risk losing dignity and you risk becoming a bit of an obsessed ex. ... (read in full...)
I thought she was just abrasive to others but then I became her target. Do we get back together?
Q. Let me apologize... This will be long... my ex and I were dating for about 3.5 months, and things were great for the first 2 or so. By this, I mean she was really into me, wanted to do what I liked, always wanted to spend time with me, etc. She was ...
A. 10 May 2010: She's an immature little girl who doesn't care about anyone but herself. Let her go. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend called me while having sex with another woman!
Q. I need help! I got a phone call last week from my boyfriend of 7 years, and he was having sex. I couldnt make myself hang up because i had to know who it was. I found out that it was this slutty girl from our work. Luckily i am in washington ...
A. 10 May 2010: Sorry, but by getting 'revenge', you've done nothing but make it worse. He cheated, yes. But do you really think that a man who cheats is going to learn a lesson? This is why revenge sex doesn't work. All that has happened is you feel worse about ... (read in full...)
I want to be with him but he likes younger girls!
Q. im 14 and my best guy friend is 19 he is a virgin and i cant tell if im in love with him but i know that he likes girls that are younger like 15 and 16 (im bout to turn 15) i cant see my self without him in the future does anyone have any advice?...
A. 10 May 2010: Yes, avoid him. He sounds like a bit of a bad bet to me. ... (read in full...)
Is he worth the wait even though he is already in a relationship?
Q. Okay, I was talking to a guy at a party and we were getting along really well and it got to a point where we were both really drunk, we kissed and got a little playful, (nothing dodgey, just play fighting) and someone walked past and we stopped ...
A. 10 May 2010: I already know he's lying to you. He 'doesn't love her, but doesn't want to hurt her feelings'. Seemed happy to kiss you and dodge all those questions. That means that even if he did dump her, he'd do this to you. And your mates say he's nice and ... (read in full...)
The little things make me wonder if we will work long term.....
Q. My boyfriend and I are each other's first serious relationships. We've been together for 9 months now and I'm just thinking about long-term compatibility. He's an amazing person and treats me well but sometimes there are little things that make...
A. 10 May 2010: This is a case where you have to compromise. If he likes a city and you like the sea, move to a city near the sea/beach. If you like cats and he doesn't, don't have a pet at all. Instead, you could always give money to a cat charity or something. I ... (read in full...)
Blood when I pee. Is there something seriously wrong?
Q. This is slightly embarassing but i have researched it and cant get a definate answer. Me and my long term boyfriend broke up about 8 weeks ago and since then i have got a new man in my life. Now i am not a virgin and had sex hundreds of time...
A. 10 May 2010: Best go to the doctor. In the UK it's free and confidential, so no one else has to know. ... (read in full...)
Could she be interested in me despite her male companion on the bus?
Q. I have a situation for you: I see this young woman, occasionally, when we have managed to catch the same Metrobus on our short ride to work. (Different jobs, same exit.) We've caught each other's eye. She's very attractive; has this mys...
A. 10 May 2010: Listen to that respected friend. Never hit on a woman while she is wither another guy. Listen to that. ... (read in full...)
I cant stop getting annoyed with my friend ever since she has started flirting with the guys I like!
Q. My friend keeps flirting with the guys I like and I can't help but get annoyed with her over the smallest things now, what should I do?...
A. 10 May 2010: You can't stop her flirting with the guys you like. They're not yours to own. You have to accept that she can flirt with guys you like if you're not seeing them. So if you like a guy, then go flirt with him. ... (read in full...)
Should you pursue the girl you like or let someone else pursue her?
Q. A question for the guys out there (girls are welcome to answer) If you pursue a girl you like, probably a few people will be hurt. If you let someone pursue the girl you like, only you will be hurt. So. To pursue or not to pursue? ...
A. 10 May 2010: If she is single, and you want her, then pursue her. ... (read in full...)
The thought of boyfriend fantaising about other people makes me want to be alone for ever
Q. I really need some help with a problem I'm having. I'm had low self esteem since I was 11 (I'm in my 20's now) and I have been in therapy for it and although it helped I think its gone back to being as bad as before. The main problem is I rea...
A. 10 May 2010: You need to get yourself back into therapy. Your low self esteem has come back. You are actually considering dumping your boyfriend for no reason at all, based upon news articles that you've read. Men and women all fantasize about someone else at ... (read in full...)
Do I hang on or let go?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 7.5 months. We talk about the future and tell each other that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. However, we have a major complication. She is not yet divorced and it will still be many months ...
A. 10 May 2010: Unless she leaves him permanently, you don't stand a chance. I think unless she accepts that he is going to do his own thing and can get over him, your heart is going to be wasted on her. You need to leave her. ... (read in full...)
Pregnant with my third child but my partner is up to his old tricks again!
Q. i am two months pregnant with my third child to a man i love so much. he cheated five years ago and i forgave him.i found a spare phone in his van and looked he has been on a text chat and flirt site. he says he is sorry but i dont know anymore my ...
A. 10 May 2010: He's now broken your trust again. That's a good enough reason to end it. You now know that you can never trust him again, and that he will always cheat. He will not change. You've given him a second chance. He's blown it. Don't give him any more ... (read in full...)
Am I naive or is he a pro liar?
Q. Hey, how do i know if the guy i'm in love with is not taking me for sex, we dated for a couple of months before i realized that he has a girlfriend, we were having a long distance relationship and seeing each other once every 3 weeks. To cut the ...
A. 10 May 2010: Yes. He's using you and that's it. You need to move on. ... (read in full...)
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