| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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I did everything he wanted and he still broke up with me
Q. Okay I started dating this guys five years ago, in the beggining he didnt want a relationship but after we became intimate,and i threatened to walk away if i dint get a title, he said lets be official. In the beggining my weight bothered him. I was ...
A. 31 May 2010: Stop talking to him already. That's what you have to do. ... (read in full...)
He strung me along for a whole year, while he had another gf...where do I go from here?
Q. i was with my partner for 12 years and have an 11 year old son, we have been apart 1yr now he said his feelings had changed so he moved out , he often said he regretted his decision and is relly upset that he hurt me , he has been in hospital with ...
A. 18 May 2010: Absolutely leave him. This man dumped you, moved out and effectively deserted you. Then he came back and talked a load of crap about how he 'regretted it'. Now he's been cheating? So basically, he used you for a bed for the night and the comforts ... (read in full...)
Physical evidence that he's been cheating?
Q. my boyfriend has 2 red big patches in between his upper theighs and i asked him what they were from one time and he said maybe it was because i was giving him oral sex and they were from my head rubbing up against him...I can see that happening, but ...
A. 18 May 2010: It could be. But it's not enough proof. You need to do a bit more digging if you think he's cheating. Get all your facts right first.... (read in full...)
Should I just get it over with and lose my virginity?
Q. I'll try to just get straight to the point) I am a 20 year old female who is STRONGLY considering losing my virginity, but not to anyone I particularly love, or even trust, but because the offer has been put out there by another co-worker a few ...
A. 18 May 2010: Why? Lots of people hae felt the same way and have gone on to lose their virginity. And the first thing they think about after they realized that they've been used and that is was meaningless is 'why didn't I wait?'. Don't do it, you'll just regret ... (read in full...)
We broke up and I slept with someone else, but now we are back together she wants a break just to sleep with another guy to get back at me!
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me 8 months ago and i slept with someone else after a few weeks. After this she wanted me back and i told her what happened and she still wanted to get back together with me. It was OK for a couple months but then she ...
A. 18 May 2010: That's just immature and pathetic of her. Dump her right now. Either she commits here and now, or she doesn't. You didn't cheat, or do anything wrong. But she is saying that she wants another break to have sex with someone else and then come back ... (read in full...)
Can you tell if a guy has recently had sex?
Q. How can you tell if a man has recently had sex? I am in a relationship with someone who sometimes has a very strong odor around the tip of his penis. He also has a very reddish on his testicles sometimes? Are these signs of a man recently having ...
A. 18 May 2010: Could be. But it could also be an infection. You need to do more checking around before you can be sure. ... (read in full...)
Why didn't he cum?
Q. Hi, i am 16 and recently lost my virginity to a lad that's 19 (he was not a virgin) im realy confused though, because it only lasted about 10 mintues, and when i asked him if he cumd, he sed nah he didn't, he was just giving me a 'tester' ? D...
A. 18 May 2010: If he used a condom and it didn't split, then you shouldn't be pregnant. But I'd advise that you get yourself on the pill.
As for not coming, a guy doesn't always come. It's nothing to worry about. He was probably just being careful because it was ... (read in full...)
My ex text me out of the blue but because I had deleted his number I now feel like an idiot!
Q. my ex who didn't text or call me suddenly text me asking if I was ok but I delete his number and ask who is this so he text back never mind. now i feel like an idiot and i wanted to talk to him but i accidentally delete his number again. What should ...
A. 18 May 2010: I think maybe it's for the best that you don't speak to him. You broke up, and you deleted his number because he never spoke. Then suddenly he makes contact? He might want to get back with you, but think realistically. All those problems will still ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I cheated with my cousin or just keep it to myself?
Q. I broke up with my babys dad 3 months ago.I started to go out with this new guy about a month already.hes been trying to have sex with me but for some wierd reason i cant.....i cheated on him a week ago.i had sex with my cousin and now i dont know ...
A. 18 May 2010: Just end it now and move on. It's not worth telling him, and it's not worth continuing with him. Move on now. ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I might be pregnant and my boyfriend could go to jail for having sex with me!
Q. Im a 14 yr old girl and i recently had sex with my boyfriend who is 19. I have a feeling im pregnant because im suddenly having weird feelings, i dont know if im just over reacting. Im not sure what to do because my parents have said they would kick ...
A. 18 May 2010: The very first thing you need to do is get tested for pregnancy and STD's. That is the most important thing. Worry about the rest after you've done that. ... (read in full...)
How can I show him I love him when we have never spoken before?
Q. I am in love with someone but we haven't talked at all how do i show this person that i really love him, what can i do to win him over?...
A. 18 May 2010: Before you even tell him you love him, you need to get to know him and speak to him. You need to let him get to know you, so that means that you need to go up to him and introduce yourself to him.Get to know him, take your time so you know what he's ... (read in full...)
Have you ever been betrayed?
Q. This is a little different. Have you ever been betrayed by someone you trusted. This can be a spouse,friend, family etc.... tell how they betrayed you and if you ever forgave them. what did you do after the betrayal...
A. 18 May 2010: A girlfriend cheated on my on my birthday with her ex. WE broke up immediately, and I spent a lot of time just focusing on my own life. I've not spoken to her since, and left it all in the past because I've found a much better person. I don't think ... (read in full...)
My married boss wants to start dating me!
Q. I am a 19 year old girl.I recently joined an office.The boss is really hot and has told me he has a huge crush on me and wants to start dating me.But he is 38 years old and married.What should I do?...
A. 18 May 2010: You keep your dignity and self respect, and you have respect for his wife and DO NOT have an affair. ... (read in full...)
I really want a second chance with my ex!
Q. if you finally start talking with an ex again but he isn't ready to be in a relationship again---is it ALWAYS black and white that they just don't want to be with you? We were with each other for almost 4 years and a year of no contact after the ...
A. 18 May 2010: I suspect that he is being the nice guy here. He will have worked out that the problems you had before that led to your break up won't have just gone away. They will still be there waiting for when you get back together. And if you couldn't get ... (read in full...)
Why does my cartilage piercing smell?
Q. *OP's own title" Two years ago I had a cartilage piercing done in the top of my ear. When it was first done my ear swelled up a bit and had a mild infection but I took antibiotics and the infection cleared. Now my pierced ear is the same size as the ...
A. 17 May 2010: I think you need to go to the doctor. It sounds like you have an infection again. ... (read in full...)
If the person I like doesn't feel the same should I give up to prevent rejection?
Q. Okay, this is a bit of a general question although it does apply to my current situation. If you feel as though a relationship with a girl isn't going to work for some reason, ie you aren't compatible, should you forget asking that person out, even ...
A. 17 May 2010: If you think it won't work out from the start, then it's not worth taking it any further, because all you will think about is it not working out. ... (read in full...)
If I'm pregnant do I have to tell my abusive ex boyfriend?
Q. Ok, so I had the issue of sleeping with my ex although I'd already broken up with him. Mainly I just wanted to see him but he wouldn't keep his hands too himself so I'd give into him. Well now, I've officially called it off. I'm done with him I do...
A. 17 May 2010: You would need to find out about the adoption laws in your state. I would have thought that he would have needed to know, but it's possible you don't need to tell him. ... (read in full...)
Why would my girlfriend say she lost her virginity to me?
Q. My girlfriend already lost her virginity but she regrets losing it to her first because it was rushed and it was a bad experience etc. and wished she had done it with me. She refuses to claim him and when people ask her who was her first, she ...
A. 17 May 2010: She obviously had a bad first time. Maybe she felt used. I wouldn't worry about it. She clearly wants you and wants to believe that you're her first because the other guy wasn't great. ... (read in full...)
Why would he leave his health concerns for me to deal with?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm having a problem with my boyfriend of 1.5 years, but I guess to understand I'll have to tell you a little about both of us. Me: 21, emotional, bad anxiety, not the most articulate, work for my dad. Him: 27, emotionally dead, par...
A. 17 May 2010: Dump him. He's not supporting you in the slightest, and is actually setting conditions for you to be with him when you need his support. He's a shit, pure and simple. You need to end it with him before you get destroyed by him,.... (read in full...)
What would you think about this if it was your girlfriend and your roommate?
Q. Folks i would need some advice.The one i get from my buddies always involves alcohol :s this is the first time i do this kind of thing but here we go. Found out a couple of days ago thanks to a lost email that my girlfriend of 2 years with whom ...
A. 17 May 2010: Like TimmD, I also think the 'not getting enough affection' excuse is a poor one. Now it is true that sometimes partners don't get enough attention. But they don't just go out and cheat. They try very hard to talk it through. I'm sure your ... (read in full...)
I have a gut instinct that my partner is cheating on me. I do have past trust issues.
Q. i have a gut instinct that my partner is cheating on me, but then i ask myself why would he cheat when i give him everything... i have sex with him everyday and i can tell i please him as he always wants sex with me, do any position he wants, give ...
A. 17 May 2010: You don't know that he is cheating. You're not basing any of your feelings on any kind of proof. Unless you have any evidence, then the problem is your trust issues, which you need to address. Just because he is on training doesn't mean he's ... (read in full...)
"Stuck in the wrong relationship"
Q. "OPs own title" hi, i have a really good friendship with this guy and i talk to him a lot but recently its been told that he fancies me and then he asked me out and well i said yes and everybody says were cute and great together but i don't feel ...
A. 17 May 2010: You have to end it. You can't force those feelings, and you need to be fair to him and yourself. He needs to be able to go out and find a woman who does love you. And you need to move on and find the right guy for you. Don't waste time making all ... (read in full...)
He's the only person I've had sex with, should I have a fling?
Q. I asked a question on this website nearly 2 years ago whether to stay with my boyfriend or move on, I decided to stay with him. We subsequently moved to a different area. The problem started exactly this time last year where I was starting to have ...
A. 17 May 2010: Yes it is that simple to end it with him. You end it, he moves out. That's it. If it's tough on him, then it's tough. But you can't sit there feeling like you want to have flings when you have a man sat at home. You have to end it with him, there ... (read in full...)
I did everything he wanted and he still broke up with me
Q. Okay I started dating this guys five years ago, in the beggining he didnt want a relationship but after we became intimate,and i threatened to walk away if i dint get a title, he said lets be official. In the beggining my weight bothered him. I was ...
A. 17 May 2010: Well let him go. He'll only destroy you. Forget about him. ... (read in full...)
I want to message him but I'm scared people will make fun of me!
Q. Ok i have this group of mates that ive only started gettin to know for the past year, they're all practically the same, pretty snobbish. One had a quiz night a few nights back all was fine and i met my mates boyfriends mate, and kinda liked him i ...
A. 17 May 2010: Why would anyone make fun? Text him and see what he says, and who cares about anyone else.... (read in full...)
How can I express my feelings to her?
Q. I miss this girl who I am in love very much but I am not sure how to express my feelings to her? I know she loves I can see it in her eyes ...
A. 17 May 2010: You can't be sure of anything unless you say something. And if you don't you'll never know. So it's time to put yourself out there and hope for the best. Take her aside and tell her how you feel. If she says, you're in there. If she doesn't, then ... (read in full...)
Why am I torturing myself with memories of my ex?
Q. I've got the most amazing boyfriend who treats me so well and I basically couldn't ask for more. But I still think of this guy I dated briefly before I met my boyfriend. This guy was so into me, pursued me so much and I fell so hard for him. We...
A. 17 May 2010: You're not torturing yourself over the man. You're torturing yourself over the fact you don't understand why he dumped you. You need to stop this by accepting that this is a man who, for whatever reason, was cold enough to chase you and dump you by ... (read in full...)
Gay guy interested in someone who is straight, and keeping him away from a girl he's interested in
Q. So, im gay, straight acting, outed to everyone, and have had serious relationships with guys. but for the last few months ive had strong feelings for a straight friend who lives a few doors down in uni halls, ive tried to get over him because i know ...
A. 17 May 2010: Realistically, you have to let him go to her. He's not yours, and if he's not gay you don't even stand a small chance. I'm sure that hurts, but to keep two people apart when they could be happy is a little selfish. You have to let him go. At some ... (read in full...)
Met another woman
Q. Met someone and have feels for her. She is divorced with 3 children 39yrs. old. I am 49 and married, empty nester. My wife and I rarely have sex and sleep in separate quarters. The other woman is very nice, and laughs at all my jokes. I am starting ...
A. 17 May 2010: I'm sure once upon a time your wife and you laughed at jokes together, slept together and such. You're making a mistake if you go onto have an affair. I think you need to step back and look at your marriage. Can it be fixed and are both you and your ... (read in full...)
What’s with the bitterness and lack of the rational from such a guy?
Q. What’s up with guys who can’t seem to get past their ex-wife ‘taking’ the house, the children and the car etc. in a divorce settlement when it’s been 17 years ago? And what’s up with the word - taking; when it was ‘given’ by the courts? If the wife...
A. 17 May 2010: Well, it can be in a lot of divorces that men do end up hard done by. Imagine being a man who lives at home, can see his kids any time, knows he has a bed, a stable life. Suddenly, the marriage breaks down, and he's literally ordered out of the ... (read in full...)
I want to have sex with my ex but he didn't tell me that he has a girlfriend!
Q. So recently me and my ex boyfriend started talking as friends...and i let it slip that i would like to have sex with him again no strings attached and he agreed to do it, but i found out that he had a girlfriend and he didn't tell me...should i ask ...
A. 17 May 2010: You're walking into a trap. He wants to have his cake and eat it, and when he's had enough, he'll just throw you out. He has a girlfriend and was willing to cheat and lie to you. You can't trust him, and if you do anything with him, you become as ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I'm going to get Aids or HIV from him!
Q. Hi everyone. I'm 22 years old woman.I have sex with my ex boyfriend. We are dating about like a 6 months. and now we already broke up. The reason I broke up with him because I found out he's using drug. Like cocain, rock and all kind of drug. I dont ...
A. 17 May 2010: Yes, if he has it. So you need to get tested. ... (read in full...)
I think he likes me but he has a long-distance girlfriend, does this mean he is a cheater?
Q. Okay so i like this guy and i think he likes me. We talk/text almost everyday, hes asked me to go with him to many places, one place was the movies and we went. Another was a play that a highschool was presenting. And everyone askes if we are ...
A. 17 May 2010: He has a girlfriend, so you need to leave him alone.... (read in full...)
Problems with condoms?
Q. in my past, present, and probably future relationships i have never liked using a condom. i dont know if its just me, the brand, or what. i think that smell like plastic, ranted they are, but still not a turn on. they inhibit my..pleasure. to ...
A. 17 May 2010: Try the non latex ones and see if they make a difference. But don't give them up, for God's sake. A crying baby or an STD is not something you want. ... (read in full...)
Situation with my ex girlfriend....
Q. My ex started talking to me yesterday online 6 months after we broke up. We haven't spoken since then. So her talking and asking how I was was rather put of the blue. The conversation ended with her suggesting that we go on holiday together. What...
A. 17 May 2010: I think she wants you back. Whether she's worth your time is something for you to think about. If she ended it once, she could easily end it twice. At the same time, maybe it could work out. Take it slow and really think about what's best for you. ... (read in full...)
Accidentally discovered my fiance had been loking at porn online - should I worry?
Q. ok, well i'm very much in love with my fiance, who I have two beautiful kids with - our eldest who is 19 months and our new arival who is just 11 weeks. I feel so close to him and can't imagine my life without him - i can't wait for him to be my ...
A. 17 May 2010: It's not anything to worry about so long as it doesn't become an addiction and take over your love life. Much in the same way that women fantasize about actors, or read erotic books, some men look at porn. It's nothing other than a quick release for ... (read in full...)
Weird crust on my eyes...
Q. does anyone know an instant cure for really crusty eyes, I think its meant to be like scaley sleep on eyelids or something. It makes me so self concious! ...
A. 17 May 2010: Yes, see a doctor. It does sound like some sort of infection. ... (read in full...)
Teachers: Have you ever had feelings for one of your students?
Q. I would Just like to know how many teachers actually fall a little bit for their students, this question is for male teachers only. Have you ever had a crush/fell for/had thoughts that your student was ever attractive? and has you student ever told ...
A. 17 May 2010: If in his late teen/early twenties upwards seduces a young woman under the age of consent, then he is a pervert and that's it. It might take two to tango, as you put it. But there's no use in arguing with the law. Also, though you say that it takes ... (read in full...)
She said I was a stalker! Is she mad?
Q. right i like this girl so much . we have been talking for about 3 months and that included text , msn , phone and meeting up . she called me the cutest and sweetest guy she has ever met and she told me when she got to know me better we would talk ...
A. 16 May 2010: Yep, you blown it pretty much beyond anything that is fixable. Big style. You texted her friend asking for sexual favours. And she agreed. Which means your friend has been stabbed in the back by you and her friend. So no longer are you the guy she ... (read in full...)
Will I ever get past just dating?
Q. I recently found out that a guy I dated for a while a few years ago is now married and has a daughter. I learned this as I am dealing with the end of my own 2 year relationship (the longest I have had). I feel that the guy who is married was a re...
A. 16 May 2010: Well the firs thing you have to do is stop worrying. Because the more you worry, the more likely it is you will settle for someone who's not right for you at all. It's very much a case that you've not met the right man yet. It's a good job you ... (read in full...)
He seems interested but hasn't asked me out...
Q. Okay, I've been friends with this guy for quite a while and I've known him for a few years... It's only until now that we've started getting closer. We hold hands and hug a lot, and he's even tried kissing me....But he hasn't asked me out :/ I...
A. 16 May 2010: If you didn't kiss him back, then he probably thinks you're not interested. So I'm afraid it's time you did a bit of running after him if you want him. He's confused enough already. If you want him, go and get him. ... (read in full...)
He's the only person I've had sex with, should I have a fling?
Q. I asked a question on this website nearly 2 years ago whether to stay with my boyfriend or move on, I decided to stay with him. We subsequently moved to a different area. The problem started exactly this time last year where I was starting to have ...
A. 16 May 2010: Having a fling will make all of this worse, and make you look bad for having taken a married man and cheating. If you want to end it with your boyfriend, then end it and hang anyone who tells you to do differently, including your mother. Don't allow ... (read in full...)
Teachers: Have you ever had feelings for one of your students?
Q. I would Just like to know how many teachers actually fall a little bit for their students, this question is for male teachers only. Have you ever had a crush/fell for/had thoughts that your student was ever attractive? and has you student ever told ...
A. 16 May 2010: I know a male teacher at our school he dated a student. He was arrested and sent to jail and is now on the sex offenders list. His life is ruined. She got expelled and no one has heard of her since. So if you have a crush on a teacher and you think ... (read in full...)
Weird crust on my eyes...
Q. does anyone know an instant cure for really crusty eyes, I think its meant to be like scaley sleep on eyelids or something. It makes me so self concious! ...
A. 16 May 2010: If you're using make-up, or anyone else's make-up, this could be a reaction, or it could be that you have an infection. Warm water gently patted on your eyelids can help. But if it's bad, it might be better to go to the doctor. ... (read in full...)
I did everything he wanted and he still broke up with me
Q. Okay I started dating this guys five years ago, in the beggining he didnt want a relationship but after we became intimate,and i threatened to walk away if i dint get a title, he said lets be official. In the beggining my weight bothered him. I was ...
A. 11 May 2010: The problem was that you weren't sticking up for yourself. He was a really controlling and manipulative man, and you needed to get away from him. It doesn't matter what you do for someone. If they're bad, then you are going down a dark road. You ... (read in full...)
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