| Latest articles: Love Shouldn’t Hurt: Signs of Abusive Behaviour
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 April 2009: Covered in this article: Ask yourself | What are the signs of an abuser? | What is abuse? | Now what? | Escape plan | Shelters | Summary ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- +++INTRODUCTIO...
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How do I deal with the annoying age comments I keep getting?
Q. Thanks to anyone helping me out on this one. Ok, maybe I am too sensitive but in the last week alone three different guys have brought up my age. I am in my late forties, not exactly train wrecked yet but guys have either said I look good for my age ...
A. 26 February 2009: LOL ... if you are worried what mean say ... that I think you are not that much different from people who gave you the negative comments. Sorry ...
But, having said that, there is nothing wrong with doing a makeover - that does not necessar... (read in full...)
I'm 5 months along and I'm still not showing!
Q. Hi, I just want to know if there is anyone who is in my same situation or has been. I am 5 months pregnant and I have gained 15 pounds. the only thing that doesn't make sense is that I am not showing anything except a little pooch. How could I have ...
A. 26 February 2009: It has to do with the shape of your bones (if I am not mistaken, it is the pelvic bones). The facing pair of these bones form a "space" into which your foetus could grow. Imagine a U shaped bone facing one another: a "thin" U would form a smaller ... (read in full...)
My husband supports his 33 year old sister who is perfectly able! How do I tackle him about this?
Q. My husband is only twenty four years old and he's very established for his age and he works very hard. But he takes care of this thirty three year old sister and he has been. Does anyone think this is weird that he would fully support her five ...
A. 26 February 2009: I agree with Didda123. Some critical background information is missing here.
Several thoughts raced through my mind as I was reading your question, good as well as bad thoughts ;-). Amongst them, good thought: inheritance money that you may not ... (read in full...)
I'm sick of being a baby sitter to her! What can I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, Ever since kindergarten, I've been going to school with this girl named Karen*. Throughout elementary school, I just kind of had the whole little play-together-on-the- playground-from-time-to-time kind of r...
A. 26 February 2009: Dear Tom (a great big warm hug to you),
You are such a loving and caring friend. You have already stuck it out for several years already, I think you can "endure" another year with Karen under your wing.
She may not be "retarded" you k... (read in full...)
Can anyone recommend a good shimmering body lotion???
Q. Hi girls, Im just wondering if anyone can recommend a good illuminating shimmering body lotion. im going a wedding next month and i want my skin to look nice in my dress. im quite tanned and i really want to have nice glowing shimmery skin. ...
A. 25 February 2009: To Female Anonymous ... you said it. VCO is so multi-function...and organic too!
What wonders does it to my skin? You have identified a few already that you experiences yourself. Yes, my skin gets even softer and "moist" (not dry, no visible ... (read in full...)
Tips about being on top and generally making sex more exciting?
Q. I've only had ever sex in the missionary position and I was wondering how I could make it more exciting and fun for me and my partner as I'm kinda getting bored of it. Any suggestions? I would like to try being on top at some point but am too...
A. 25 February 2009: There are quite a number of instructional sites for sexual positions. Google karma sutra positions, and you may find
http://www.karmasutrapictures.com/
http://www.goodtoknow.co.uk/relationships/259026/Kama-Sutra-positions
http://www.jija... (read in full...)
Is it true that if you are not sure if you want to be with someone it means you don't?
Q. Is it true that if you are not sure if you want to be with someone it means you dont? I am with my current boyfriend and although we get on very well, I am not sure he is the one that I want to settle with. Could these doubts mean that he is not ...
A. 25 February 2009: Right. Think of our brain cells as a very intelligent and sensitive ever so updated super computer, and our limited knowledge as softwares. The brain cells pick up on things that the software could not process fully, yet the super computer has ... (read in full...)
Can anyone recommend a good shimmering body lotion???
Q. Hi girls, Im just wondering if anyone can recommend a good illuminating shimmering body lotion. im going a wedding next month and i want my skin to look nice in my dress. im quite tanned and i really want to have nice glowing shimmery skin. ...
A. 25 February 2009: oops ... sorry .. you are only going to a wedding ... it is not your wedding ... right? (LOL) ...
have fun at the wedding party ... yours or your friend's .. :-)
cat
... (read in full...)
Can anyone recommend a good shimmering body lotion???
Q. Hi girls, Im just wondering if anyone can recommend a good illuminating shimmering body lotion. im going a wedding next month and i want my skin to look nice in my dress. im quite tanned and i really want to have nice glowing shimmery skin. ...
A. 25 February 2009: I found Virgin Coconut Oil the best so far. Either the kind that was processed by fermentation or by distillation. Get one without any scent/perfume. Apply on your skin at least 30 minutes before you put on your dress, so most of it will be ... (read in full...)
It hurts so much to have sex, I think I'm just too small
Q. ok so im a virgin and have been with my non virgin boyfriend for a while now. i want to give him my virginity and we have tried having sex FIVE times now and have yet to make it work. im am a rather short girl and weigh 103 therefore im s...
A. 25 February 2009: OK. This the third time you posted this same question. Perhaps you should try writing an article to be published in Playboy or magazines of such like?
Cat
... (read in full...)
The old lady deserves better than this
Q. I am almost 81, my wife is almost 88. Mona has 6 grown children from a previous marriage. Since we met 17 years ago we have always professed our love for each other. We have never wished not to be together. Although there never was any cause to...
A. 25 February 2009: Thanks, Didda123. I cringed a bit when I read the question. I have had to witness 1 bad situation, and I experienced 1 potentially bad situation as well as pssibly another one in the process.
A rich aunt, who had two adopted children, was isol... (read in full...)
His university course is taking my place! How do I compromise some "us time" ?
Q. Feb 09 My boyfriend and I have been going out for 9 or 10 months but were the best of friends for four or so years prior to me 'making my move'. We just finished high school in november so had seen each other at LEAST 6 days a week, every week...
A. 25 February 2009: I think you need to tread on this very very carefully, as you may end up losing your man :-( I hope it does not happen to you though.
Right now you feel "abandoned" because you have more free time than he does. When I was in college, for the firs... (read in full...)
She's staying in my house, sleeping in my bed but nothing!!!
Q. OK new problem, still a virgin :( but I got this girl staying in my house, I have been friends with her for couple years now, she doesn't want to sleep on the couch so she sleeps in my bed with me, 3 nights now. I tried to make a move but no luck, ...
A. 25 February 2009: LOL ... you are too funny (in a good way). I think it is admirable that you are still a virgin ... you have shown great control of your raging hormones as a young male :-)
You will make a woman feel so special when you do have sex with her ... ... (read in full...)
The old lady deserves better than this
Q. I am almost 81, my wife is almost 88. Mona has 6 grown children from a previous marriage. Since we met 17 years ago we have always professed our love for each other. We have never wished not to be together. Although there never was any cause to...
A. 25 February 2009: Is this you, or is this a member of the "feuding" family writing this question? I have a gut feeling that something does not add up here.
Cat
... (read in full...)
I don't think he's quite a first class jerk, but I don't know how to respond!
Q. Hoping some of the great aunts can help here. This is not a huge problem but some second opinions would help. I enjoy my job immensely and have good relationships with my colleagues. I work hard to make sure I do. There is a guy in the office that I ...
A. 25 February 2009: Is he your supervisor? Or, does he carry an important clout on your career advancement?
Office politics exist because some insecure and/or ambitious people will do anything to get ahead. And to him, you may indeed be a threat to his career a... (read in full...)
She's staying in my house, sleeping in my bed but nothing!!!
Q. OK new problem, still a virgin :( but I got this girl staying in my house, I have been friends with her for couple years now, she doesn't want to sleep on the couch so she sleeps in my bed with me, 3 nights now. I tried to make a move but no luck, ...
A. 25 February 2009: Why is she staying in your house for 3 days? Your invitation? Her sorting some things out in her life? (Hence needing your warm cuddle without you asking questions)
Cat
... (read in full...)
What exactly IS flirting and is it okay to flirt when you're in a relationship?
Q. What exactly is flirting? How would you define it? And do you believe it is ok to flirt with anyone when you are in a relationship? Why/why not? Yes, a very broad, general question I know, I'm just looking for peoples opinions, so I can see h...
A. 25 February 2009: The flip side of his ego saying "I am a guy that all good looking girls will fall for me" is that he is actually insecure. His flirting is just his way of assuring himself that "good looking chicks thinks I am kewl". Unfortunately, because he is ... (read in full...)
She demands so much of my time...
Q. I am a 32 year old male. Have been in relationship with a woman for 15 months now. It is going well on many fronts, but some we have had problems. I have problems with erections, althoguh it seems psychological. We are working on this, and she is ...
A. 24 February 2009: This is a tough one. People say that I am a loner too, but I just think that I am comfortable in my own company :-) And yet, when I am involved in a serious relationship, I sometimes struggle with how to balance wanting my own space and yet wanting ... (read in full...)
Has anyone any experience with an older boyfriend?
Q. Is there anyone out there who has had experience with older boyfriend? I am seriously struggling to cope with his ways which he won't comprimise... Thanks...
A. 24 February 2009: Hi Giselle,
You just asked this question in an earlier posting. I think your earlier one has more information so the answers would be more contextual thus more relevant to you, as opposed to an open ended one like this new posting.
Having ... (read in full...)
What exactly IS flirting and is it okay to flirt when you're in a relationship?
Q. What exactly is flirting? How would you define it? And do you believe it is ok to flirt with anyone when you are in a relationship? Why/why not? Yes, a very broad, general question I know, I'm just looking for peoples opinions, so I can see h...
A. 24 February 2009: Oxford English Dictionary (10th ed)
flirt
· v.
1 behave playfully in a sexually enticing manner.
2 (flirt with) experiment casually with (an idea or activity).
3 (flirt with) deliberately risk (danger or death).
You asked if it is OK w... (read in full...)
I'm not sure what his intentions are
Q. I met this guy online about two weeks ago. I hope I won’t sound stuck up when I say this but I've been bombarded with emails from guys so I’m being very picky. This guy stood out because he was nice, not suggestive, and didn’t blab on about himself ...
A. 24 February 2009: Are you in a rush to get into a relationship? If you are not, I would suggest continue with the emails or online chat. But, if you had free tinme during the day or weekend, you can also invite him to have coffee in a public place somewhere. Then ... (read in full...)
I am fed up with his grumpy behaviour!
Q. i have been in a relationship with a man who is 20 years older than me for a year now. i have a young son and he has three grown up ones. we love eachother,but,he has a very bad temper and wont have any of opposite opinions from me if they dont ...
A. 24 February 2009: You know, the older we get, the more "set in our ways" we get too. I guess our habits as well as our philosophies have also stick and form a plaque on our veins LOL
It is now up to you to either stick with the plaques (pun intended) of this gru... (read in full...)
Should I let my wife wear spandex to work?
Q. is it okay for me to let my wife out the house wearing tight spandex to work?...
A. 24 February 2009: Is she an aerobic or pilates instructor?
... (read in full...)
Do I tell my friend from overseas how I've been feeling?
Q. Back in '98 i went on a bus tour through Great Britain. As i stood there, waiting to find out which bus i'm on and when it leaves, i saw him and prayed that he'd be on my bus. He was! I became really close with him and his sister (who was there as ...
A. 24 February 2009: This feels like a story line out of Before Sunset (2004) and Before Sunrise (1995), both with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy starring in it.
I suggest you find and watch these movies. Two travellers spending an incredible 24 hours together in Paris... (read in full...)
How do 40-45 year old men keep up with much younger women in sex?
Q. If man's sex drive drops after 40-45, than how can they keep up with 20 years younger girls? Is this because their old wife does not turn them on , but the fresh young woman does? Is this an ago thing, or ist biological? I keep hearing about gu...
A. 24 February 2009: Are you asking this based on your experience, or just asking out of general curiosity after seeing a phenomenon in the mall or clubs?
Cat
... (read in full...)
He's always flirting with other women
Q. My boyfriend seems to constantly be flirting other women, in particular with one of his very close friends (who is a girl and has a boyfriend). I also think he may have dated her a few years ago (though I have never asked him about it). The other ...
A. 24 February 2009: Ha ha ha ... sorry, you are correct, Martini. Credit goes to REPLACEMENT ... LOL ... what was I thinking .... LOL
I stand corrected. I must have been thinking of one of your comments on an earlier posting.
Cat
... (read in full...)
What would you do if your partner and his relatives did something against your own values?
Q. If a few of your partner's close relatives were casual pot smokers, who held down jobs and were otherwise responsible, loving people, would you feel comfortable letting your kids visit these relatives, if you are morally opposed to any casual drug ...
A. 24 February 2009: This is getting interesting LOL.
In one South East Asian country rhat I know of, pot is illegal. However, in one of its provinces, marijuana is used in everyday cooking as it is considered as cooking spice. Yes, the authorities raid areas wh... (read in full...)
It feels like we're moving too fast, but it feels natural. Should I slow down?
Q. I met a guy last year. I wasn't really interested in him. But he continued to pursue me. Finally I gave him a chance. But after a week or two I called it quits for no reason. A month down the line, I decide to call him. Of course he cursed me out. ...
A. 24 February 2009: Saying "I love you" should not be taken lightly. Some people say it a a journey, not a destination. Some say it is an existence (of matters relating to the heart), not a journey (of which love appears to be destination).
Perhaps you are a bit frea... (read in full...)
If my girlfriend's grandmother and my grandmother are sisters what does that make us?
Q. If my girlfriend's grandmother and my grandmother are sisters what does that make us?...
A. 24 February 2009: I feel a second or follow up question is soon to come: "Is it okay to date/marry a second cousin"? ;-)
Cat... (read in full...)
He's always flirting with other women
Q. My boyfriend seems to constantly be flirting other women, in particular with one of his very close friends (who is a girl and has a boyfriend). I also think he may have dated her a few years ago (though I have never asked him about it). The other ...
A. 24 February 2009: LOL ... I like Martini's comment "most men are not great liars" ... and that came from a male too. Bravo!
I have a slightly different take on this. I too, sometimes analyse things, like you do. To me, words symbolize or reflect something deeper w... (read in full...)
Happy man in his 40's--what should his sex drive be?
Q. If a man in his 40s is healthy and happy then what should his sex drive / libido be like?...
A. 24 February 2009: Each person, male or female, has different sex drive levels. There are many factors affecting it, both internal (genetics) as well as external (physical and non-physical environment).
When I was in my late 20s, I dated a guy 3 years younger ... (read in full...)
I am irritated by his changes of attitude and faults but he doesn't appreciate that I tolerate all these!
Q. hi i am in my fourties and have been with my partner for 3 going on 4 yrs,i love him to bits but i also am more irritated about his change in attitude since we met,i never saw it at the start,the trouble is i love him for all his faults and ...
A. 23 February 2009: I always think that love equals mutual respect. You love him and respect whatever differences there are between you two. You love him, and you probably has respect for him despite his faults, like you said. But, would you still be willing to remain ... (read in full...)
I tried to save my marriage after my wife cheated but now I think it is time to move on
Q. Today is Monday .. saturday we got a big fight with my wife and she took my two children ( 5 and 11 yrs ) to a friend's house, now I dont know what to do, mainly the fight is for always the same,for money, I work she does not, she and my kids just ...
A. 23 February 2009: Ooops ... there goes my initial theory out the window ... LOL
The reason I asked is that I have I know a number of western men who married Asian women, either after meeting them online or in person (through working in their country). To many of ... (read in full...)
G Spot pr Clitoris orgasm more explosive?
Q. I always thought a clitoral orgasm is more intense then a gspot orgasm ,, but a male friend said it was the gspot orgasm that is more intense . Iv heard many woman have never had an orgasm and I am fortunate to be multi orgasmic.. And I know I have ...
A. 23 February 2009: I used to have a long climax on citoris stimulation, until about 10 years ago that I discovered the unbelieable feeling of g-spot orgams. But guess what? I can also have an explosive climax just on the right touch/play on my nipples and breasts ... (read in full...)
I need help understanding the Frendulum Breve problem
Q. Hello My boyfriend has the frendulum breve problem and i have researched it but nothing seems to sink in so if someone could explain it really simply so i can just get grips with it would be much appreciated. Also im so worried about hurting ...
A. 23 February 2009: Found this on the web (yahoo answers):
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080909194327AAyAp8E
Penis problems, cant pull back foreskin?
I cant pull back the foreskin on my Penis.
I believe i may have a frendulum breve
or Phimos... (read in full...)
I tried to save my marriage after my wife cheated but now I think it is time to move on
Q. Today is Monday .. saturday we got a big fight with my wife and she took my two children ( 5 and 11 yrs ) to a friend's house, now I dont know what to do, mainly the fight is for always the same,for money, I work she does not, she and my kids just ...
A. 23 February 2009: Where did you meet your wife? Is she not from the US? Was she living in her home country (that would be where?) before coming to the US?
I think I have an idea on a certain "theory", and would like to put my two cents worth of thoughts on this, bu... (read in full...)
My wife is chatting to hundreds of men online even though I have asked her to stop!
Q. I've been married to my wife now for almost 5 years now. We met online in an animated avatar chat room called Habbohotel, and things on the whole are great. but... Basically, i have an issue with her talking to men online. When i knew her...
A. 23 February 2009: An "aunt" on this site "forewarned" me that I would get addicted to Dear Cupid :-) But fortunately for me, as freelancer in the field of work that I am in, I have "bursts" of hectic professional life and sloooow down-time (in-between job ... (read in full...)
I want to grow old with her but our sex life is problematic and she is not receptive to any change, help?
Q. Hi, I'm a 34yr old guy dating a 31 yr old lady. I'm not all that experienced however I have been around the block. The girl I am seeing is all that I've ever wanted and more and couldn't be happier but this is not so when were in bed. She is not e...
A. 23 February 2009: Hmmmm ... I think she already gave you the "key" to her sexual issue, i.e that she does not understand why she does that. It sounds like she has a "mental block" on sexual pleasures. If you have already identified her ability to feel the pleasures, ... (read in full...)
I feel I'm invisible because guys don't notice me
Q. i am the type of person who would only be considered a friend or an acquaintance. i sometimes feel that i'm invisible because guys hardly ever notice me. i also have a hard time feeling comfortable around guys because i have always had trust issues ...
A. 21 February 2009: I was a wallflower growing up. I am still a very quiet person in new environments and new friends. Back then, what I found helpful for myself is when I am with a group of people who seemed to always hadno problems chatting up others was that I ... (read in full...)
My friend took my bruises completely out of context
Q. I play a lot of soccer and other sports so I have many cuts and bruises from it. And I have very (very) huge bruise on my right arm from soccer. Anyway my guy friend saw it and freak out because he thought my boyfriend was doing it and he start ...
A. 21 February 2009: Take your guy friend to your soccer games :-) Better still, invite him to participate in the game, and let your soccer team mate know that he needs to be "guarded" during the game ... which translates into playing a bit rough with him so he could ... (read in full...)
My breasts are different sizes
Q. Hey, I'm 16 and my breast's are different sizes. I know that its perfectly normal because no woman has two equally sized breasts, But i wear a C-cup bra, and one is too big for it, and one is too small. So im guessing, one is B and one is D - t...
A. 21 February 2009: I am sort of the same, though when I lose some weight (to 100 lbs instead of 115 lbs) it doesn't show as much because I wear the same comfortable (not tight, but not baggy) tops/blouses. What I do when I wear body hugging tops is that I take out the ... (read in full...)
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