| Latest articles: Love Shouldn’t Hurt: Signs of Abusive Behaviour
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 April 2009: Covered in this article: Ask yourself | What are the signs of an abuser? | What is abuse? | Now what? | Escape plan | Shelters | Summary ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- +++INTRODUCTIO...
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He does not forgive my past...
Q. I think that my relationship is about to end. After, 5 years of being there for my bf, going back and forth to visit him, and opened my heart to him; it has finally reached an end... or so I think... The problem is that he does not forgive my past. ...
A. 6 April 2009: In a way, he is very insecure about himself in this relationship. If your past did not include him, you should not have to apologize to him. Particularly if you did nothing to harm him (since he was not part of the equation in your life in college ... (read in full...)
Does this sound fishy?
Q. I need everyones opinion here to just to see if I'm completely out of line and off base. Me and my boyfriend just had a fight on Friday, and now its a Sunday. I worked this evening, and he texted me asking me when I started. I told him, and th...
A. 6 April 2009: As Gina said, it depends on whether or not he was still mad at the big argument on Friday. Were the photos on the floor easily seen by others? Like, if someone comes in, will they easily see those on the floor? Were they close to where he usually ... (read in full...)
Should I tell his girlfriend that I am pregnant by him?
Q. I was having sex with a man, for a year, that was and still is in a relationship. I am now 7 months pregnant. He keeps telling his girlfriend that we never slept together, therefore denying my child. The girlfriend asked me and I told her no. Should ...
A. 6 April 2009: You are in a difficult position right now. If the girlfriend knows that you are seeing her b/f, whether or not he slept with you is less of an issue for her than his infidelity. However, what you need to do is to get a paternity test on him once... (read in full...)
Will I get charged for taking hotel towels if I send them back?
Q. Hi there, I have just come back from holiday and have realised i have packed 2 of the hotels towels. do you think they will charge for this? if so do you think they waver this charge if i get in contact with them and post them back?...
A. 6 April 2009: Some of the upmarket hotels do charge for every single item that are considered hotel property (as opposed to complimentary service). I accidentally carried a washcloth with me down to the lobby as I was checking out of a Marriot hotel in Boston, ... (read in full...)
14 yo and wants to know how to masturbate
Q. I'm 14 and I want to no how to mastervat! please help ...
A. 6 April 2009: Here are a few links that you can read up on, from boys similar your age; http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-male-and-im-15curious-on-how-to.html http://www.dearcupid.org/question/wondering-how-to-masterbate.html or http://www.askmen.... (read in full...)
Help me propose!
Q. I am about to propose to my Girlfriend and i am scared to death, i have no clue how to ask her? Any ideas? i want it to be romantic....
A. 6 April 2009: Do you remember the first time you went on a date with her? Or the first time you said the L word to her? or the fist song that now is your song? Or the dress that she wore that always melts your heart? Choose any of those most memorable "firsts", ... (read in full...)
He is making it impossible to fix anything!
Q. What should one do when their husband just won't listen? I have recently remarried, and the first year was a mess, Domestic violence issues. Now we live apart but still want to remain married. Back to my question. I have a problem with how every ...
A. 6 April 2009: I am sorry to hear that you are having marriage issues. You did not elaborate on the domestic violence, but I am assuming that you asked him to move out because he abused you. Statistically, women experience far more domestic/relationship abuse than ... (read in full...)
Questions about eating and diet.
Q. I have recently been doing a health promotion campaign on body image, which focuses on anorexia, bulimia and obesity. I have mainly focused on bulimia and have researched a lot about it. I have been on a diet since the end of xmas and have lost 2 s...
A. 5 April 2009: First of all, what "body image" campaign are you working on? The problem with "image" is that it is a label that are given by others, as opposed to an inner happiness about your own body.
Secondly, in addition to your own research, you should a... (read in full...)
I cant drive...does this make me a loser?
Q. Hi,i just need some honest advice. Im 26 year old female and i dont drive. I did lessons a few years ago but just couldn't get my head round them so i quit. Also i suffer with anxiety -on and off and for the past few years i've been on antidepr...
A. 4 April 2009: I drive, have a license, and a car. But I actually hardly ever use my car! I love taking buses and trains. You get the time-table, plan your routes, get on, sit down (or stand up), get sleepy lol, then get off. If coming home late, get the taxi or ... (read in full...)
Please help! What is wrong with my brother?
Q. Granted, I live several states away so have not seen him; just going by what I've heard from my parents: I was home for Christmas; saw him New Year's Eve and left back to my city on New Year's Day....all this started just a week or two after thi...
A. 4 April 2009: Dear MonksDaBomb, since this is an informal relationship forum, I don't think any of us here can give you the answer that you are seeking. For professional, ethical and legal reasons of course. If you are really concerned about your brother, th... (read in full...)
My wife is going to sleep with another man tomorrow
Q. I do not have a direct question, I just want some love from the dear cupid community. My wife of 12 years has plans to sleep with an old boyfriend tomorrow. She is in another state visiting her mother. While there, she met up with this guy. Th...
A. 29 March 2009: I was reading your previous question http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-husband-told-me-to-sleep-with-another.html and it was interesting to see how things have evolved. From your "light" discussion on taking the fantasy out into real life ... ... (read in full...)
My Husband cheated on me. I do not know what to do !!
Q. Hi, I am going to describe my problem in two phases. Thank you for taking time to read this : Phase I I have been married to my husband for 5 years. we met on the internet on a chat site. We decided that we like each other and decided to mee...
A. 29 March 2009: Namaste, Shweta
Your notes are very reflective of your being a very intelligent and compassion person.
You know your situation better than all of us who reads your post, though there are also a few women here who have been in your shoes befor... (read in full...)
Am I right to tell my wife to drop this stupid idea?
Q. I have a situation which could have serious ramifications for other people, not just my wife and I. My wife and I are married for 7 years now, have 2 great kids, and are timing out having a 3rd child. The issue is, when I was younger (18-19),...
A. 28 March 2009: Did you ask the other woman why she suddenly wants you to know that the said child is yours? The thing is, if you were to drop this now, there is no stopping the mother to continue telling the child that you are his biological father. My su... (read in full...)
Best place for a tattoo?
Q. Hey Everyone I'm going to get tattooed on Tuesday and I'm going to get my Dude's name on me I don't have any tattoos and I'm wondering if I should get his name on my wrist or my forearm which would be best for a girl or does it not matter?...
A. 28 March 2009: I think there was a program on Tattoos in the Discovery Channel a some time ago that said 90% of tattoos on boyfriend's/girlfriend's name(s) get surgically removed or done over to cover and change the name into some other design. Most famous is of ... (read in full...)
Aren't our feelings for each another enough to make things work?
Q. I posted a question on here last week about how my boyfriend and I seem to want different things. Last night, after 2 and a half years, he broke up with me because of it. He wants to focus on his career and while I do to, I had also suggested l...
A. 28 March 2009: If both of you wanted to focus on your careers, picture this is you were to live together: Him: works 7 days a week, gets home tired and all he wants to do is either sleep, or when he's awake, work on his stuff with his laptop. When he does fee... (read in full...)
I was hoping that I might get a card but ....nothing!!!
Q. Hi guys, this isnt a relationship question as such but i need to vent off. I've been at my current job for 5 months now and on Wednesday it was my birthday. I bought in cakes and savoury snacks as you do. Well...2 things pissed me off......
A. 28 March 2009: Guess maybe your friends in the office forgot to have breakfast that morning. Not nice though, not leaving you the crumbs either :-(
A Belated Happy Birthday!
[You just got a big hug from me too!]
Blessing in disguise? Now you know who you... (read in full...)
I miss the intimacy and don't know what's wrong
Q. I've been in a very loving relationship for 8 months now. My boyfriend is so caring, understanding, lovely... everything I could ask for and we very rarely argue. When we first together we had sex basically every day. This is how I was wit...
A. 28 March 2009: Has there been other changes that might affect it, in your life? Like work schedule, or work load, or diet change, or psychological conditions that preoccupied your mind (e.g. thinking about student loans, or papers to turn in, or anticipation of ... (read in full...)
My Husband cheated on me. I do not know what to do !!
Q. Hi, I am going to describe my problem in two phases. Thank you for taking time to read this : Phase I I have been married to my husband for 5 years. we met on the internet on a chat site. We decided that we like each other and decided to mee...
A. 28 March 2009: If your residency or citizenship in Australia is now secured, please do as the female anonymous below suggested. Leave him. You are already an independent woman in terms of your profession. You have a good job, and good income. If he does not ... (read in full...)
Can you trusta serial cheater?
Q. Can you trust a serial cheater (woman)? I am dating an woman in her late 30's early 40's who is a serial cheater. She has been married twice and has cheated on both husbands. Her reasons and method of cheating are particularly dis...
A. 27 March 2009: Aaaaahhh ... the plot thickens ;-)
In order for one to be comfortable with oneself, one must at first be at peace with oneself. Otherwise, one can be just as lonely being alone as in the midst of a lively crowd or amidst friends. There are ways... (read in full...)
Can you trusta serial cheater?
Q. Can you trust a serial cheater (woman)? I am dating an woman in her late 30's early 40's who is a serial cheater. She has been married twice and has cheated on both husbands. Her reasons and method of cheating are particularly dis...
A. 27 March 2009: I think you know the answer to your main question already. Otherwise, you will not need to check her phone records and her emails. I would think that trust and respect are the fundamentals of any relationship. Be it amongst friends or betwe... (read in full...)
Is there a good reason for people to find out you've had sex?
Q. is there a good reason that people have to find out u've had sex? because i want to have sex with my bf, he wants to have sex with me, but we r concerned about getting caught and him going to jail since he is 18 and im 15. but i thinks its impossib...
A. 27 March 2009: One quick question, Chrissy: Why is he the one with the final say in this matter? It is your life too, your body, your sexual reproductive system, and your future when you become an independent adult. Please tell us that you are responsibly in full ... (read in full...)
Husband's homecoming from Iraq
Q. My husband is in the army and has been in Iraq for the last 10 months, he is due home in less then 3 weeks. This is his first tour and it has been very emotional for the both of us. (we were only married 6 months when he left) He is a huge momma'...
A. 27 March 2009: Mothers always think their sons are their lovely little boys ^-^
They may have gotten taller and bigger and older, but in their mothers' eyes, they are still the lovely babies they gave birth to and raised. "Letting go" even when their sons are alre... (read in full...)
Is there a good reason for people to find out you've had sex?
Q. is there a good reason that people have to find out u've had sex? because i want to have sex with my bf, he wants to have sex with me, but we r concerned about getting caught and him going to jail since he is 18 and im 15. but i thinks its impossib...
A. 27 March 2009: Being "secretive" is almost always an indication that one should not be doing it in the first place. Unless, of course, it is for something nice and good, like, planning a birthday party, or a nice surprise, or finding out what your partner/best ... (read in full...)
Stretch make agony
Q. Hello! =) I've gradually have been gaining weight, i hadn't noticed for the longest time but then one day in November-December-ish, i noticed i was starting to get stretch marks on my tummy and tighs n stuff, ever since then i've been freaking ou...
A. 27 March 2009: Actually, stretch marks is your body's way of saying "hey, my skin is elastic and healthy!". Just imagine if your skin is so dry and brittle, that when you do move or do exercises, your skin breaks and bleed :-( Not a pretty sight, as well as ... (read in full...)
Can you trusta serial cheater?
Q. Can you trust a serial cheater (woman)? I am dating an woman in her late 30's early 40's who is a serial cheater. She has been married twice and has cheated on both husbands. Her reasons and method of cheating are particularly dis...
A. 27 March 2009: How long have you known or been dating her? When she says that she will never cheat again, other than saying that, has she shown anything else that in your opinion, indicates that meant it this time? Age is not a factor. If you go through various ... (read in full...)
I just found out that my dad died!
Q. Hi everyone I need help right now!! I just found out that my my best friend died today my dad! And I was crying all through school and my mom wouldn't come get me so I was walking around all day with red puffy eyesand I tryed to wash my makup off ...
A. 27 March 2009: I am so sorry to hear about your dad passing away. Losing someone you love is always very difficult. But know this, your dad was very proud to have you as his daughter and best friend. So from now on, you continue to be the daughter he was proud of, ... (read in full...)
Need suggestions for extremely difficult work situation
Q. Ok I desperately need as many opinions and thoughts as possible as this is quite an important decision I need to make with in the next few hours - the more help I get the better. The economy in the UK right now is extremely bad - the value of our...
A. 27 March 2009: Everyone said take the job (only one said take it but with reservations in case you are being exploited). At the very least, you need to have your basic expenses covered by this part time job.
I know friends who took a pay-cut initially, only to ... (read in full...)
I'm not a guy, so I just don't get this killer exercise to get in shape I guess.:)
Q. This is a queestion for everyone out there! Ok, so my boyfriend started this new exercise program. It's for 90 days, but a killer!! You have to do certain exercises every day. He has only done this (3) days and the soreness just gets worse every...
A. 26 March 2009: If he has not used those muscles strenuously as he does now, one of the reasons he feels sore and pains in his muscles is because there is a build up of lactic acid.
Studies have shown that supplementing Vitamin B1 (thiamine) can reduce lactic a... (read in full...)
I hate having stretch marks!
Q. i hate having stretch marks... i'm a little overweight and have always had these stretch marks, i've lost quite a lot of weight now but i've still got them, they are all over my tummy, hips and my arms... does anyone have any suggestions about how ...
A. 26 March 2009: There is also the organic Virgin Coconut Oil (VCO) which is multi-purpose. (I don't have any children but I use this for my sensitive skin and it works wonders!) Rub the oil on the skin two three times a day. It does not leave any grease ... (read in full...)
Having kittens here!
Q. My cat has just had a kitten about 4 hours ago. Now I'm new at this and dont quite know what's all going on. Will she have more kittens? or since she had one 4 hours ago that will be it? ...
A. 26 March 2009: You need to take your cat to the vet. You can "guesstimate" how many kittens the mum has but I will not post here how to do it because if you are not trained to do it, you will pose a danger to the mum cat.
A female cat by nature can have as many... (read in full...)
I'd rather give my baby up for adoption than to let him have it
Q. I'm 7 months pregnant my boyfriend and I have since split up it live in the same apt I'm trying to find a new place. He has a daughter from a previous relationship. I want to give the child up for adoption I just think he would have a better life. ...
A. 25 March 2009: In addition to Jessica's suggestion, take a notebook (or a journal/diary) and write down all the things that you think will help your case in proving that he is an unfit father material. Make sure that all the things that you write will be easily ... (read in full...)
Should I worry that is contemplating cheating?
Q. My boyfriend started a website for dating. He was clueless on how to set it up. He said he wanted to do it to make extra money. He told me that he did a free profile on himself to see what the questions and fees were. He is not a paid member so ...
A. 25 March 2009: Hang on. There are two issues here: (1) he is designing a website for online dating, and (2) he is putting his profile - albeit as a free member - on a dating site.
Issue (1). To design a website, one does not need to put his own profile on an al... (read in full...)
Crush, infatuation or love?
Q. I have a crush on this guy who is 3 years older and me. I think he is hot and really really cute. He's always on my mind, I smile whenever I hear his name and I could smile through my tears if I see him. I'm pretty sure this is just a crush and I'm ...
A. 25 March 2009: OED (10th ed)
crush
- informal an intense infatuation.
infatuate
· v. (be infatuated with) be inspired with an intense but short-lived passion for.
– ORIGIN C16: from L. infatuat-, infatuare ‘make foolish’.
love
1 an intense feeling ... (read in full...)
She thinks that she's the tops of tops and I only a miserable being.
Q. Hello dear friends, This question I am asking is not really a love, dating or sex question but rather a matter that is troubling me a lot. I have a big sister and we were never in good terms. Today we share no relationship at all. She has always ...
A. 25 March 2009: Siblings rivalry and incompatibility in a family is not uncommon, actually.
As hard as it may be for you, you need to "ignore" her snide remarks, and empower yourself to show the world that you are a good person with a kind heart.
In fact, yo... (read in full...)
Should I cut him off now or wait until I the abortion?
Q. So, I was with my ex boyfriend for over two years. It was my first real relationship and I loved him very much, we did everything together. Well two weeks ago, we were arguing and he had told me he cheated on me out of anger. The next day he tell...
A. 25 March 2009: This is a tough one. Like Jason said, the biological father has a right to know, regardless of whether or not you are still in a relationship with him. After all, when you had sex, my assumption is that it was done with a mutual concept.
H... (read in full...)
Should my baby have my last name?
Q. I have a baby with my boyfriend he doesn't plan on getting married to me. In fact he's already married to another woman. Their relationship is rocky and he wants a child to have his last name even though we're not married. Should my baby have my ...
A. 25 March 2009: Traditionally, a child born of an unmarried mother will have the mother's last name. Check your state's legal procedure for carrying the father's name.
His name will already be on the birth certificate as the father of the child, which means you ... (read in full...)
I'm a young female adult who has become wary about my pubic mound!
Q. I'm a young female adult who has become wary about my pubic mound. I never thought about it too much but became paranoid once my mum pointed out that it sticks out, after that I've noticed that it's different to others and is noticable. Is it normal ...
A. 25 March 2009: Baby! If you are able to wear a bikini that means you have the curves for people to admire! The pubic mound will be the last thing they will look at! And yes, all those stares and wolf whistles? They are directed as an admiration to you the HOTTIE! ... (read in full...)
How do I walk in high heels?
Q. Hey! This is one for the girls [i'm not sure there are many guys who will know!] I've been a bit of a tom boy all my life [i'm now almost 18 - in 2 months] and when i go to party's i usually wear a skirt with tights and flat boots. I'm now ...
A. 24 March 2009: I think the trick is to walk as if you are tiptoeing, as opposed to putting your weight on the heels. If I put my weight evenly on my foot, or heels down first like when we walk normally, I usually tripped [lol] At least that is what I do
When ... (read in full...)
Opinions on women going braless
Q. Well I have been doing some research and I keep finding out that it has never been proven that bras help keep breast firm, or stop them from sagging. I've been thinking about this issue, and what bras mean in the bigger picture, and I just don't ...
A. 24 March 2009: If you have small breasts (32A or 32B at the most), it makes very little difference wearing or not wearing a bra. But, like EyesWideOpen said, when you sweat, your clothes stick to your skin and people turn their heads to look at you. If you are ... (read in full...)
My ex was hurt pretty badly in an accident..what should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid Its been over a year since i had anything you could even call a relationship, my previous girl friend tore me up pretty bad by cheating and basically compromiseing my morality and self image. I recently learned that my ex-girlfriend wa...
A. 24 March 2009: Is she in the same town as you? Regardless of whether she is an ex or not, if you have time - and clearly you have the heart - go and visit her in person. As Danielepew said, as long as your intention is not to get her back, a friend's visit is ... (read in full...)
We are both history professors and I hate to ask but I need tips on how to pusue this beautiful, intelligent woman!
Q. I have never been the most confident or the most attractive male and at this point in time. I actually hate to admit that. I am 32 years old, single, have only had three girlfriends in the past, and only had sex with two of them. Now, I know my ...
A. 24 March 2009: Ask her opinion on what music is good for different occasions or moods. Then ask her to help you choose to download from the internet. That will get her talking intimately with you for a while. Plus, you can find out the types of music that she ... (read in full...)
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