Boyfriend says he's not sexually attracted to me because I put to much pressure on him
Q. I'm 23 and my bf who is 27 won't have sex or even make out with me. we were both each other's first, and we've been going out for almost 2 1/2 years. The few times that we have "had sex" were only mins long because something would interrupt us and ...
A. 12 October 2014: I suspect he's either asexual or gay and in denial. Either way, you deserve someone who will make you happier.... (read in full...)
He insists on keeping letters from ex's
Q. I recently found out that my bf still keeps letters from his exes. It makes me uncomfortable because I throw away things my exes give me. Of course I understand that perhaps some people are more sentimental. Yet the irony in this is that he claim...
A. 7 September 2014: When we are alone and have outlived all of those who once loved us it's nice to have handwritten evidence, not only of long-vanished people and the relationships we once had with them but also to remind us of how we used to look when young and ... (read in full...)
Is my fixation harmless? Or am I too obsessed with erotica writing?
Q. For the past year, I've been writing a series of stories about sex. I can't stop writing these stories--or at least, posting them in as many places as I can--and I don't think they're without merit, either. But they bothers me and I want to be ab...
A. 7 September 2014: It's called 'Wishful Thinking'. Most people just fantasize, you write it down. Set up a website for your stories and include an email address. You never know what sort of emails you'll receive. What better way for a young man to be approached than ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for an aged man to like Barely Legal Porn
Q. My husband is 56 and his porn preference is the Barely Legal porn. He also likes to have us watch it when we make love. I don't want to be a prude or sound like I come from the Victorian era, but is it normal for a man of that age to want to look ...
A. 27 August 2014: Most fellows had a lot of unrequited junior high/high school crushes. I still recall the faces and forms of the pretty classmates who ignored me in my school days, and although my wife is decades younger and far more beautiful than they would be ... (read in full...)
How to play hard to get, during SEX?
Q. I'd like to sort of drive my new guy crazy before giving in to sex when I'm at his place next time. How do I go about doing this subtly, sort of playing hard to get until he gets really fustrated and just can't resist anymore? I'm thinking maybe let ...
A. 27 August 2014: And you drive him crazy then maybe change your mind for real. I wonder how date rape happens?... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend is shaming me and my sexual preferences! Am I in the wrong? Have I pushed him too far? Or am I really that disgusting?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for nearly 2 years - at least 18 months of which have been based on serious long term commitment to each other with the future in mind. We have an average sex life. I have accepted that I am a more...
A. 7 August 2014: Get rid of this censorious puritanical bore so he can find someone who will refrigerate his bed to the sub-zero temperature he obviously enjoys. In contrast somewhere out there is a man who will make you an absolutely delightful partner in crime, ... (read in full...)
My affair partner is leaving her husband but becoming distant towards me
Q. What could be the reason for this type of behavior? You would think that she would probably want to get closer to me now that she's "moving on" so to speak, but it almost feels like she's slowly distancing herself from me as well. We have been s...
A. 24 July 2014: I think she used you as an excuse to leave him. It happened to me once. Let her go and find someone else.... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable? She went too far on a fourth date.
Q. I know I do have some OCD issues which I think may be contributing to this. I have been in love with my current GF for over 6 mos. She is 37 and was previously married for 13 years to the man that she saved herself for on her wedding day at t...
A. 18 July 2014: Please show this column to your girlfriend so that it can serve as the basis for a discussion of the subject. ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex to keep my boyfriend?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 5 years now, (I am -9) and I love him to pieces. We sleep over at each other's all the time and it's all been perfectly fine. Then one night we were at his and he said "my parents wont be home until ...
A. 17 July 2014: The OP is British and the age of consent there is a sensible 16, same as in Canada and far later than it is in Europe. So please spare us the 'legally children for four out of the past five years' argument. If you don't want to have sex with him, ... (read in full...)
Dating 3 months, is it too early to ask for sex?
Q. I and ma gf started dis relationship about 3months ago,and all I think of when We are together is sex,do u think it too early to ask for sex now...
A. 9 July 2014: In the meantime learn a bit about spelling and grammar- it will make you a far more suave prospect for her.... (read in full...)
A FWB with a younger lady has turned into a relationship but my friends still tease about her. How do I turn this around?
Q. I want to start off by saying I know my actions were uncalled for and I truly am sorry for the details I shared andhow they effected everyone. I'm 41 years old and this winter I met a 22 year old student and "hooked up" with her a few times. I...
A. 1 July 2014: Yes, listen to DKW. I'm also with an almost three decades younger woman and used to get the usual jokes, but it's been almost 10 years now and we're recognised as a couple. BTW, 'Savile Row' is the London street at the epicentre of British tailoring ... (read in full...)
Is it a compliment that my husband has been masturbating over our wedding photos?
Q. A few times I have found my wedding photo album not the way I had put it away. I solved this when I found my husband masturbating while looking at photos of me in my wedding dress. He didn't notice me seeing him doing this. I haven't told him anyt...
A. 1 July 2014: Do you still have the gown or can you rent something similar? Arrange a quiet weekend for the two of you with a special surprise and start things off by artfully posing on the bed wearing it, veil and all.... (read in full...)
Trying to spice things up -- how about my cheerleader uniform?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been looking for ways to spice things up in the bedroom. i recently found one of my old cheerleading uniforms from high school and discovered that i can still fit into it...and i'm thinking that it might be fun to try a ...
A. 16 June 2014: Don't let people pour cold water on a harmless bit of fun by their equating it with 'performances' or a taste for teenaged girls or advising you to dress the way their own sexual fantasies run. Experiment away and enjoy yourselves. ... (read in full...)
I had a threesome before I got married. Do I tell my husband?
Q. I was involved in a once only threesome with my ex bf and another girl. Deeply regretted. Should I tell the man I married later? He has had premarital sex but not of this kind....
A. 7 May 2014: Presumably he knows you weren't a virgin when you married, so tell him while you liked the other girl, having your ex there didn't do anything for you. Continue by assuring your husband that it would be different if you were sharing the same ... (read in full...)
Should I ask her about her sexual past?
Q. I have been dating a new girl for about 6 months now. Recently we were at the grocery store together when we passed a bottle of chocolate syrup. My girlfriend laughed and said: "I haven't had that stuff since I licked it off some guy's d*ck." M...
A. 18 April 2014: You should have smiled and bought the chocolate sauce for you both.... (read in full...)
Can I ever really trust her after I found out about her threesome?
Q. 6 months into our relationship my girlfriend went on holiday and I later found out that she had a threesome with two men she met in a nightclub while she was away. After she said it was just a crazy one off I forgave her. But I just can't get ...
A. 28 February 2014: Tell her your relationship can only move forward/be salvaged if she and a pretty girlfriend are willing to have a M/FF threesome with you thus making things even. Have it, then drop her.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend cannot express his emotional needs and its driving me away!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a few years but have only recently lived together. Up until lately we have been doing very well 99% of the time. We have strong feelings for each other and are an ideal couple. I am 28 and he is a few years youn...
A. 23 February 2014: Don't hint. Tell him. And tell him in a way a man will understand. Mo-etionally (sho-emoly?)(Mo-shun-e-ally?) we are simple creatures without a woman's rich...E-MO-SHUN-AL!! tapestry. I'm afraid the age gap IS a bit of a problem as although men do ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend that I'm a lesbian and get this over with?
Q. Here goes. I've been abnormal from the get-go, okay? All of my friends would blabber on and on about the floppy-haired fellow down the hall while my thoughts gravitated towards the lunch menu. I never seek out any boys myself, but I'll be damned if ...
A. 23 February 2014: Don't decide on one type of food before you've actually sampled the rest of the buffet. At 14 you're still half in the chrysalis (please believe me when I say I'm not being patronizing) and you'd be surprised how much things can change over time and ... (read in full...)
Should I have moved in on her that night?
Q. So I started talking to this girl like a month ago. We only started hanging out because there was a party and she wanted to go, ever since then she barely texts me or wants to hang out, we both just text each other when we know there's a party. ...
A. 22 February 2014: No matter how subtly she extends the invitation, if a man does not take up a woman's first offer through either non-observance, inexperience or lack of courage, she will never give him another chance. ... (read in full...)
How to make sex feel good?
Q. My boyfriend and I have had sex a handful of times and we just can't seem to figure it out (until recently we were both virgins). We are attracted to each other and we have no trouble with the mechanics of sex, but it feels kind of meh for both of ...
A. 12 February 2014: Do you feel that because you two are friends you should also be attracted to one another? There is a big difference. It could be that this is sex out of curiosity, proximity and opportunity rather than actual lust for one another. ... (read in full...)
He seemed genuine in his texts but when we met up he only wanted one thing!
Q. Hello, so confused. I've been talking to this guy for about a week, the conversation was going good andhe kept asking if we could meet up normally I dont meet them straight away I l like to talk to them for a couple of weeks first. However he seeme...
A. 1 February 2014: Always remember that sex is difficult to get for a man but easy to enjoy when he finally has the opportunity. For a woman it's the opposite, and this discrepancy will always be the thing that affects the male-female dynamic most. For the most part ... (read in full...)
NEVER will do anything for a woman unless there is sexual intention involved.
Q. I had a discussion with a friend today about my upcoming trip, and she said that men NEVER will do anyhting for a woman unless there is sexual intention involved. I told her that I had and have plenty of guy friends. She asked me to think under w...
A. 29 January 2014: The more attractive the woman, the more likely it is that she'll have men buying her dinner, doing her favours, being friendly etc. HOWEVER, and this is the amusing part, 90% of the time simply because she IS so beautiful they'll be too nervous to ... (read in full...)
She slept with someone else during our break
Q. Me (20) and my girlfriend (21) are in a relationship for a year and 4 months. Somewhere along the way we broke up, just to get back together 2 months later. I don't regret taking her back at all. Our relationship is even going better now than it ...
A. 25 January 2014: How many women would you have slept with if you could have when you and she were apart? And if you had, would you have told your girlfriend about it?... (read in full...)
Do I choose my husband or my boyfriend?
Q. I need advice very badly. I'm in a predicament I never thought I would find myself in though I have seen it on the site before. I am having to choose between two men. Each have their strengths and weaknesses. One is my husband, not what you think or ...
A. 23 January 2014: Breathe a huge sigh of relief you're childless, get on with the divorce, and get rid of the other man too. If you cannot choose between two men, neither is the one. And try to get a grip on your emotions. Men avoid emotional women like the plague ... (read in full...)
I want to stop masturbating and enjoy sex!
Q. Hi I feel very odd and weird but I think I masturbate weirdly.. I've been doing it since I was young as I can remember and I feel odd and don't get pleasure off sleeping with my partner. I have to masturbate on ny own to get the feeling. I lay on n...
A. 23 January 2014: For a woman, masturbation simply allows her to discover the particular way she likes to be touched; there's nothing wrong with it. (For a male it's an admission of failure but that's another story) When you and your partner are in bed and relaxed, ... (read in full...)
I have a fantasy, but is it too 'out there' to share with her?
Q. I have a strong desire to cum in my girlfriend's long hair, but I know it will be really messy and difficult to get out. How can I bring this fantasy up to my girlfriend? Do you think she will think I'm weird? If you are a woman would you allow a ...
A. 18 January 2014: If her hair's very long, she can take it in both her hands, gently wrap it 'round your bits and give you a handjob. In the mid-1980s an old girlfriend introduced me to this variation (her idea, we were experimenting one rainy afternoon) and we both ... (read in full...)
Found sexual pics of my fiancé and his ex on his computer and not sure what to do or where to go from here....
Q. The other day I was uploading pics on my fiancés laptop and came across a file that had pics of him and his ex having sex and her giving him a blowjob. It was by far the worst thing I ever saw. I am 5 months pregnant too with our first child. There ...
A. 13 January 2014: No relationship is guaranteed to last. The only thing that IS guaranteed is that if we live long enough we will grow old and lose our looks, our shape and our ability. Every man worries about being old and alone one day (women are simply better at ... (read in full...)
BF of 4 years. Our sex life was phenomenal. So why is he now choosing Porn over me? I need advice please
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and we have been living together for the past year and a half. Up until two months ago our sex life was phenomenal; we would have sex almost every day, and sometimes more than once. However we suddenly...
A. 24 December 2013: Is the content of the porn what you do anyway, or would trying/implementing what he's been watching be the missing link? Otherwise, (and women hate this and men can't admit it to them), he may need variety after four solid years of you. It would be ... (read in full...)
Did she lost her virginity to a dildo?
Q. I have not too much experience with girls, Ive been dating this girl for a while. We dated and we had oral but not nothing further. then after a few dates later she finally decided to have sex with me. Not long ago she told me she bought online a ...
A. 20 December 2013: None of your business. And as far as women go, you've a fair bit of growing up to do before you bring anything to the dating table.... (read in full...)
He's been there and done that, but I haven't!
Q. My husband has a wild sexual past. I don't. Our sex life is as vanilla as it gets. I don't mind being vanilla, but I'm hurt that he doesn't want to try anything even remotely kinky with me. Unfortunately, he was way too open when we met. He...
A. 9 December 2013: Possibly because he's been there, done that. A big part of 'kinky' sex is experimentation and exploring, and having done so and perhaps finding that the fantasy was better then the reality, he's no longer as interested. Also if there are some things ... (read in full...)
Does anyone else think it's silly that a lot of chicks still think they're virgins after giving bjs?
Q. I just think it's really silly. I mean, I guess they'd be technical virgins, but to say you're pure after having a d--k in your mouth is just absolutely ridiculous to me. But I've heard A LOT of girls say they're still virgins after. Am I the only ...
A. 23 November 2013: How does having sex make anyone 'impure'? Life isn't Disneyworld. Prejudice, dishonesty, greed, anger without cause, impatience- these are all a hell of a lot worse than doing something sexual with someone you like, and who feels the same way about ... (read in full...)
I denied a guy orgasm and now I feel bad. What should I Do?
Q. I am an 18 year old girl with an intense foot fetish. I am aroused by other girl's feet, but I'm not a lesbian, as in I still enjoy sex with males. I also get extremely turned on when someone licks the soles of my feet. So recently I was out with ...
A. 13 October 2013: You could have used your feet to bring him off, thus satisfying you both safely.... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend's watching porn reflect badly on me?
Q. Hi. I was helping my GF to get rid of laptop software problems. I told her there might be some malware on it and it hence needs to be scanned. She got a nervous about that and after digging deeper I found out she was watching some porn on the web ...
A. 16 July 2013: You missed a big opportunity to watch it with her and find out more about what she likes.... (read in full...)
She tells me I'm a wonderful boyfriend but she freaked when she found soft-core on my phone
Q. My girlfriend ran into a porn website that I visited on my phone, and quickly got very angry and started mentioning that now she should go look for guys her age and fantasize about them having sex with her. I kept my mouth shut to keep the situation ...
A. 16 July 2013: A five year age gap is nothing. I've been married for 7 years to a woman who's twenty-seven years younger than I am. OK? Next, did she have the kid when you first met, or did that happen during the time you knew her? That's important. Meanwhile, ... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend insists we get married so we can be together
Q. Thank you in advance for any advice regarding my problem. I am pretty torn up inside and I'm not sure of what I should do. I'm 25 years old and so is my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I have been in a transatlantic, long distance relationship for about ...
A. 15 July 2013: Test Mr. Transatlantic by saying you've decided to marry him and live in his country. He should be delighted if he's not merely after you for a visa.... (read in full...)
I want my ex to regret treating me badly. I want him to know I am happy
Q. My bf and I were on and off so many times. He cheated on me twice and while he studied abroad I found out that he kissed some other girl. I forgave him and gave him a lot of chances. We were in a long distance relationship before I broke up with ...
A. 17 May 2013: The opposite of love is indifference, not hate. Only when you have genuinely achieved the former will you be truly free of your ex, and by then you'll feel letting him know anything about you would be pointless. Keep busy and keep socializing.... (read in full...)
Is there any way out of this clash of values and attitudes? She wants to stop having sex until the wedding day (no date set for wedding yet)
Q. Hello, This is a bit long-winded but I hope you enjoy the ride. It's certainly been interesting for me. The backstory: I'm a 33 y/o professional traveling musician from the states. Three years ago I met a lovely 33 y/o girl in Germany ...
A. 5 April 2013: Some women would rather have a husband than be a wife.
You've shown your commitment by letting her set the pace for your initial intimacy, then relocating half a world away and learning her language to be with her. After all of that, she's no... (read in full...)
Why do women treat nice guys badly?
Q. hi, to all you women who say you want to meet a nice guy, but when you do, you treat him like sh.t, but a bad guy comes around you fall madly in love, you all say thats not true, but think about it,a nice guy you know what hes going to say, what hes ...
A. 28 March 2013: More women than would care to admit it need to have a good howling sobfest every so often to blow out their carburetor jets and relax themselves, and will pick an argument if necessary to get it. Nice guys are too conciliatory thus denying them the... (read in full...)
Sexually not satisfied by my inexperienced BF
Q. Hello mates, I'm 20 years old and I'm not a virgin. (Active since age 15) I recently met a wonderful man who is 23. I took his virginity a few months ago and we have been having sex since. He's such an amazing fellow! Truly! I also didnt care...
A. 25 March 2013: To avoid frustration, take it in stages so you're not left up in the air. Stay dressed yourself to slow down your own reactions, and bring him off first by mouth, hand or whatever to relieve his urgency. Then get him into bed, undress, and have him ... (read in full...)
I believe my girlfriend is lying about an encounter with a friend. What do I do?
Q. I'm in a frustrating spot. To get you to understand where I'm coming from I have to add as much detail as possible in my story. Please try and stick with it if you plan to give me feedback. I could really use help with this. A short background...
A. 20 March 2013: I get the distinct impression you and Lulu never had full sex but that she did sleep with Mike. If she's a professional masseuse she never would have given a sports massage through clothing and you are, I'm afraid, naive to believe she would; and ... (read in full...)
How can I meet girls that are into girls?
Q. So I've been bicurious for a while, but despite knowing there are plenty of lesbian/bi girls out there, I never seem to meet any. The only ones I ever notice are because they are kissing in public or holding hands (aka taken.) And I don't like the ...
A. 19 March 2013: There is an organisation called Wild Women Vacations So google wild women vacations They specialise in affordable package holidays (Vegas, Jamaica, etc) for lesbians and bicurious women. ... (read in full...)
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