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I denied a guy orgasm and now I feel bad. What should I Do?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 October 2013) 8 Answers - (Newest, 13 October 2013)
A female Australia age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I am an 18 year old girl with an intense foot fetish. I am aroused by other girl's feet, but I'm not a lesbian, as in I still enjoy sex with males. I also get extremely turned on when someone licks the soles of my feet. So recently I was out with some friends when a guy kept staring at my feet. Later I left with him and went back to my house. He had a very intense foot fetish. He started by massaging my feet and I edged them closer to his face. Eventually he got the hint and sucked my toe. After some time he began licking my soles very passionately. After sucking on both my feet he told me he was close to having an orgasm. At that point I stopped and denied him his orgasm. Now I feel terrible about the whole situation. He left with an erection that wouldn't go down. hat should I do?

View related questions: erection, lesbian, orgasm

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A male reader, wiseoldman United Kingdom +, writes (13 October 2013):

You could have used your feet to bring him off, thus satisfying you both safely.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2013):

Apologize to him. I think you should have not let the situation get that heated if you were unwilling to let it end "naturally" if you know what I mean. Yes you have evety right to say no to something you don't want to do but i am saying you should have said no earlier not given him the inpression you were in it all the way. It was misleading him or yanking him around.

Next time if you know you don't want things to go past a certain level then make sure you do not participate in escalating a situation closer and closer to that point. In other words if you dont want to cross a certain line then stay far away from it, dont get as close as you can to it and assume your partner knows where that line is too and when he doesn't then you abruptly end things. For the other person its like pulling the rug out from under them. You can say early on that you don't want to go that far. Like say you only want to take things slow relationship wise.

You need to take responsibility and be in control of situations you participate in.

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (12 October 2013):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntWhy feel terrible? You stopped before it went too far (a point beyond which you'd have felt uncomfortable), which is good! It's a good thing to be aware of your boundaries, though maybe they should be a bit more robust: inviting a stranger into your home and getting so physical is risky - this could have got nasty.

About your guilt: I assume you didn't orgasm either, so you were both in the same boat, except his excitation was more visible than yours.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (12 October 2013):

Fatherly Advice agony auntSo you were not ready for it to go that far, and you stopped, and he stopped as well. You feel guilty for sticking to what you felt comfortable with. I think you shouldn't. I keep trying to preach this line. Intimacy is intimacy is intimacy. You had just met this guy. Cool he has a similar interest to you. But you don't yet know him well enough to go to the level of sharing an orgasm with him. You need more dates and more getting to know each other. And yes even some more foot play if that is what you think you are ready for. What should you do now? Communicate. finding a partner with a matching fetish is rare, you might want to hang on to him.

FA

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2013):

Next time lend him a helping hand if you know what I mean nudge nudge wink wink say no more. LOL!

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (12 October 2013):

YouWish agony auntOMG, I would have broken his nose accidentally kicking him in the face because my feet are *very* ticklish. Orgasm via feet licking would be the safest sex around, except that your feet have been to some dirty places in shoes and the ground.

Yeesh. Okay, I'll be serious. Don't "sweat" it too badly....bwhahahahahaaa! Sorry, couldn't resist.

He could have not told you and simply shot off as well. If you like the guy, keep seeing him and there will be other opportunities. If not, and he gets off that easily, I'm sure there will be other chances for that sort of thing.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (12 October 2013):

Deal with it.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (12 October 2013):

olderthandirt agony auntNothing, I can still remember my first gf in high school doing the same thing to me. I still hate her or it

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