A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have had sex a handful of times and we just can't seem to figure it out (until recently we were both virgins). We are attracted to each other and we have no trouble with the mechanics of sex, but it feels kind of meh for both of us (and we've tried manual and oral stimulation as well as penetration). I've made him orgasm one time from manual stimulation, though I'm not sure what I did differently from the other times to make it happen. I haven't come close to an orgasm with him yet. We have a good relationship and we do enjoy the sex. I'm puzzled though because from everything I've heard, it's not supposed to be too difficult to bring a guy to orgasm, but it's not happening. I'm not getting very aroused, either. Do we just need more practice? What can I do to make him feel good?
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both virgins, orgasm Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2014): yeah sometimes when I'm not really attracted to the person, sex can be meh so maybe you guys are just not sexually compatible or not attracted to each other enough? First of all spend some time in foreplay and try not to make the penetration the be all end all, specially because women don't generally orgasm that way ( nor did the bf apparently) well try to explore each other's body, see what you prefer, and when you actually have intercourse use some lube ( at that age you shouldn't really need it, but you said you're not aroused enough so that can make things a bit uncomfortable) anyway try oral, different positions, and indeed it's practice that makes perfect, but if even after a lot of practice it's still meh maybe you're not well suited to each other...
A
male
reader, wiseoldman  +, writes (12 February 2014):
Do you feel that because you two are friends you should also be attracted to one another? There is a big difference. It could be that this is sex out of curiosity, proximity and opportunity rather than actual lust for one another.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2014): Ask him what is his physical type.If he likes slim and you are full bodied,its not going to work for him.
I am being honest here.
HB
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (11 February 2014):
Why don't you play a game where you take turns telling each other what you want them to do. Lick here, touch there, do it this way, etc.
If you're willing to learn you'll be fine.
There are lots of techniques you can find online to try out. FYI just going in and out only gives you guys a little sensation. There's more to it than that.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (11 February 2014):
 Read the Karma Sutra and The Joy of Sex together that ought to fix whatever ails you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2014): You deffinitely need more practice, but ussualy guys your age come very quickly. They actually have problem to hold it longer.
For a woman it's not unussual not to orgazm with inexperienced man. If he doesn't take care of you in a beginning, and just penetration, there is a big chance you will never orgazm with him.
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