New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244969 questions, 1084326 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

She slept with someone else during our break

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 January 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 27 January 2014)
A female Belgium age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Me (20) and my girlfriend (21) are in a relationship for a year and 4 months. Somewhere along the way we broke up, just to get back together 2 months later.

I don't regret taking her back at all. Our relationship is even going better now than it did before.

Only recently i found out she slept with a guy during those times we broke up. It's also clear that she would have done so with other guys as well, if she'd had the chance.

I'm having a lot of questions about it. Maybe she wanted more experience (i was her first) and that's why we broke up. Maybe she enjoys sleeping with a guy more. Or maybe now she knows what it's like with a guy, i can't satisfy her anymore,... But she sais none of those is true and she didn't even enjoy it.

But then still, it hurts me to think of her with someone else and of all the things they did. She must have enjoyed it, cause why else would she have tried to sleep with more than 1 guy..

I need to get those thoughts and doubts out of my head, but i just can't stop thinking about it

View related questions: broke up, get back together

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2014):

She did you wrong by not telling you she had slept with someone else as soon as you got back together.

STIs are real, they cannot all be prevented, they cannot all be tested for, and many of them don't show for months after infection. So keeping this kind of secret - EVER - equals putting your partner at risk without telling them. That is wrong. Period.

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, wiseoldman United Kingdom +, writes (25 January 2014):

How many women would you have slept with if you could have when you and she were apart? And if you had, would you have told your girlfriend about it?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (24 January 2014):

BrownWolf agony aunt

“I don't regret taking her back at all. Our relationship is even going better now than it did before.”

If things are that much better…then let it go. If you had slept with someone on your break up, you would not be on here complaining about what YOU did.

You were not together at the time it happened. Wisdom keeps a relationship together, foolishness tears it apart.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Gauntlet France +, writes (24 January 2014):

Gauntlet agony auntUsually to that sort of questions, I've vastly seen it's of common place to treat the woman as sort of a victim, and without us knowing anything about your relationship, we can read again and again "she was confused", "love her", "make her feel sexy and desired" and so on, putting on you all the blame for the "accident". SHE had her fucked in your back but YOU made her insecure, which is - don't make me laugh - far far worse.

For my part, I don't buy the joke.

Well, to tell things as they are, we know nothing about the roots of your problems. And as I prefer letting others take the girl's part, I will advocate your case.

PERHAPS she just wanted to fuck around. Sex, just sex for fun, nothing to do with the so-called "experience" which is just a sympathetic word for a "collection of hardcore feelings and memories".

IF this is the case, your girlfriend just went back to you because she is not pretty enough/has not enough ability or courage to pick more fuckers to put in her pants. You are just her "security-choice", nice guy who ends to be her consolation prize, a better-than-nothing buddy.

MAYBE one day, another opportunity will occur for her to "have some more experiences" and you will discover yourself cuckold like no other around, but don't panic, you will be the last one to know it for sure.

YET ! IF this hypothesis is wrong (and just you could tell it now) you must consider every good points, souvenirs, advantages to be with that girl again. And just FORGET what she did because she did it when you were not together anymore at that time of your relationship, and maybe she didn't know she would come-back to you again.

THAT SAID, if I were you, I would keep an eye on her (phone, FB, etc.) for a while and would not hurry to marry her if you have that in mind.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (23 January 2014):

Honeypie agony auntCould be she wanted SOMEONE to make her feel attractive and sexy? Could be she MISSED it? Could be she did it because she was TRYING to get over you.

You won't really know til you ask her.

And really, you need to stop worrying about it. If she wanted to sleep around and be single, she wouldn't have gotten back with you would she?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "She slept with someone else during our break"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0468443999998271!