A
female
age
30-35,
*ebeccaa
writes:Hello, so confused. I've been talking to this guy for about a week, the conversation was going good andhe kept asking if we could meet up normally I dont meet them straight away I l like to talk to them for a couple of weeks first. However he seemed pretty geuine over text and my friend also knew him and said he was a decent guy and I should definitely meet him.So tonight I met him he picked me up and we went back to his and watched a film. We kissed but nothing else. He wanted more than just kissing and because I wouldn't he kept saying I was frigid, I'm most certainly not. I just wouldn't go there meeting someone for the first time. He said he was only winding me up.He hasn't text me or anything since I got home should I wait for him to text me or should I text him? Im not looking for a relationship but of the right person came along I would certainly give it a try. After tonight I do think i like him, but I'm not sure what's going through his head now. He seemed like he didn't just want one thing over text by the things he was saying. Can someone please give me some advice? Very confused.
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frigid, kissing, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (1 February 2014):
 No I don't think it's a good sign that he's immature, or that he has a bad sense of humour (though I don't honestly think he was joking when he called you frigid).
A good sign would be if he apologised for making that remark and asked you out on a proper date, in my opinion.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (1 February 2014):
Do you realize that texts aren't capable of transmitting emotions? Only words.
It's so easy to tell a girl what she wants to hear via text because she can't see that you actually don't care about anything but sex.
FYI, if you meet a guy for the first time at his house, he's going to try and screw you every time. If he was really interesting in more he'd have asked you for a real date.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (1 February 2014):
 I wouldn't invest a whole lot in this guy. He made a very poor first impression by leaving you wondering about his intentions.
It's not a good idea to hang out at the home of someone you've just met or to have them at yours. It's way too intimate. Your dates should be in a public place where sex can't happen. That way there is no pressure to become sexual, no worrying about if or how to decline and no wondering what someone's intentions are.
There are so many things to see and do so why would you spend your time hanging out at his house? Make being with you interesting.
If you want a decent guy you'll have to raise your standards and be prepared to walk away the minute something doesn't seem right.
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A
female
reader, Rebeccaa +, writes (1 February 2014):
Rebeccaa is verified as being by the original poster of the question He text me this morning, and I replied saying "I wasn't expecting you to text me because I'm frigid" then he replied saying "haha I was joking you'll get used to my immature ways" I suppose that's a good a sign isn't it?
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (1 February 2014):
Hi Rebeccaa,
First, you don't get a good idea of someone via text. Getting to know someone means face to face meetings. Also, look at actions not words; do his actions match up to his words?
Second, your first date or meet being at his house is dodgy for 2 reasons: safety and the risk of it leading to sex too soon. Ok you knew he was probably safe because you have a shared friend, but the sex thing did happen (or at least, he wanted to). If you agree to a date at a guys house, he will hope sex is on the cards and will most likely try it on.
Wait for him to text you, or talk on the phone, and if you're both still interested, why not go out on a date? (Not at his house or yours).
Perhaps he was just after a hookup with you, hence the frigid remark, and he's not interested since you didn't put out. I hope not, but it wouldn't really surprise me.
Come back and let us know how it goes. All the best.
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A
male
reader, wiseoldman +, writes (1 February 2014):
Always remember that sex is difficult to get for a man but easy to enjoy when he finally has the opportunity. For a woman it's the opposite, and this discrepancy will always be the thing that affects the male-female dynamic most. For the most part he can have fun whenever he pounces if his overtures are successful and will greatly enjoy the novelty of a new woman. She on the other hand most enjoys the comfort of familiarity and the knowledge of fidelity. While this is admittedly a generalization, generalizations do exist because they often contain a germ of truth.
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