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Does anyone else think it's silly that a lot of chicks still think they're virgins after giving bjs?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 November 2013) 12 Answers - (Newest, 23 November 2013)
A female United States age 26-29, *inkRosesBloom writes:

I just think it's really silly. I mean, I guess they'd be technical virgins, but to say you're pure after having a d--k in your mouth is just absolutely ridiculous to me. But I've heard A LOT of girls say they're still virgins after. Am I the only one who thinks this is strange and silly?

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A female reader, PinkRosesBloom United States +, writes (23 November 2013):

PinkRosesBloom is verified as being by the original poster of the question

PinkRosesBloom agony auntThank you for the answer:

I said in my update that I know purity and virginity are really debatable...but like I said, the girls THEMSELVES are happy with purity being the definition, and they define themselves that way. I don't, and the whole thing is very silly to me.

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A male reader, wiseoldman United Kingdom +, writes (23 November 2013):

How does having sex make anyone 'impure'? Life isn't Disneyworld. Prejudice, dishonesty, greed, anger without cause, impatience- these are all a hell of a lot worse than doing something sexual with someone you like, and who feels the same way about you. Virginity's nothing to be proud of or ashamed of, and is only the business of the person with or without it. The following animals also have hymens, and I doubt they call one another sluts if found without.

Squirrels Antelopes Gazelles Frogs Lake Trouts Dalmatians (not labs) Parakeets Robins (but not cardinals) Bats Cats Chimpanzees Clownfish, but not other species of fish

Dogs Slugs Elephants Llamas Galago (Bush babies) Guinea pigs

Horses Zebras Lemurs Manatees Moles Rats Seals Toothed whales Chinchillas Platypus Narwhals Alpacas Bobolinks Clams

White Footed Deer Mice Meerkats Moose Rattlesnakes Shrews

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A female reader, peteloevely United Kingdom +, writes (21 November 2013):

peteloevely agony auntthe whole term is silly, i wonder who care out with it, virginity to most people is whether you have experience or not, so technique i can see your point...

how can an experience girl be sexual and still be called a virgin at the same time.

but if you ask me, until you have had your first real orgasm you are still a virgin.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (19 November 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntA girl really IS a virgin until and unless she has experienced that euphoric state that occurs when she has had one of us delightful males slip our manhood in to her.

Good luck...

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A female reader, PinkRosesBloom United States +, writes (19 November 2013):

PinkRosesBloom is verified as being by the original poster of the question

PinkRosesBloom agony auntThank you for all the answers!

To respond to everyone:

I actually said in my post that I know they're still technical virgins, so I know what the definition of virgin is already,lol.

I also understand that 'purity' is debatable. What I meant was that those same girls THEMSELVES honestly agree with the definition of virginity being 'pure and untouched' and THEY call themselves pure/not pure, not me. The thing is though is that BJs are a sexual act, which is why when they say that it's funny and strange to me.

And I care because the whole thing is silly. None of it makes any sense at all, so it's funny to me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2013):

Doesn't count OP in terms of the traditional meaning of virginity which means vaginal penetration with a penis.

But virginity is an ancient term that means nothing. Are women who are lesbian virgins their entire lives if they've never been with a man? Does a finger or dildo count? In Muslim countries even anal doesn't count because the hymen is left intact. Are gay men always virgins because they have no hymen to break? Are women with no hymens not virgins because they lost it inserting a tampon? In some countries they're considered "impure".

As far as 'purity' is concerned that's a bullshit religious and wholly oppressive concept used to control a woman's sexuality so they'll breed nice little followers to the church that married them and they'd have more followers and money for their church. A business and power strategy by churches basically with no higher, holy significance.

It used to have merit before the days of DNA tests when men wanted to be sure that the children their wife bore was theirs and of their bloodline but nowadays purity is a load of crap. According to the bible for example women where never and cannot ever be pure because they bleed once a month.

A blow job doesn't count in terms of virginity and if a penis in your mouth makes you impure then surely a person's tongue penetrating your mouth does too. Or is the penis the most important thing in this equation because then boys aren't virgins if they penetrate their fist with their penis either.

You see OP virginity means nothing, it's a man made concept and we can choose any meaning we want to it. I've known women who were raped as the first time they were ever penetrated by a penis who still considered themselves virgins because to them it has to be given and cannot be taken by force. Who's to say they're wrong? Religion? Well then there's a reason religion is dying out.

If you consider a blow job as losing virginity that's your choice. But you really should examine how you use the term "purity" OP, it literally has never meant anything good when it comes to sexuality.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2013):

If you insert a penis in any orifice, you've been. You know!

If you are speaking in the biological/clinical-sense, it has nothing to do with purity. For a female, the hymen is fully intact and has not been broken during coitus. For a male, you've never (on any occasion) attempted to have sex including a partner.

"Purity" is in a biblical(religious), or spiritual context. That means accordance to your beliefs; you haven't tainted the mind, body, or spirit. You have not exposed yourself to anything unclean; nor pleasured yourself or anyone else, in a sexual way. You have preserved yourself in every way (spiritually and physically) for religious reasons, and/or in anticipation of marriage.

Purity is respected in a religious way, out of worship to a Higher Being. In this sense, it has great significance.

As far as on the human-plane of existence. It is of very little value or necessity. Few humans are worthy of such abstinence. The majority end up giving it up to someone who isn't a virgin anyway. So what's the point?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (19 November 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI personally think we need to revamp what we define as VIRGIN since it's defined as sexual intercourse of the heterosexual variety, it means that gay men or lesbians who have never had heterosexual sex are technically virgins.

I like to use the term "technical virgin" for young ladies and young men who will have sexual activity of any type OTHER than straight intercourse...this would include anal intercourse.

I agree that the whole concept of virginity in this day and age is ludicrous....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2013):

Well, actually a girl is a virgin until she has sexual intercourse, so someone needs to get a bit more educated when it comes to sex. What's disturbing is how many girls are willing to give oral sex with no regard to STD's...

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (19 November 2013):

chigirl agony auntNo, I agree with you to some degree. But the hymen is, and have always been, the "proof" of virginity. Hence why no one cares if a man is virgin, he doesnt have anything to physically prove this or that. But I am strongly against the idea of "purity". As if sex would make you soiled. A woman should never be judged as either pure or soiled. She simply IS, same as a man. Being a virgin does not make her pure. Being promiscuous does not make her soiled or filthy. Virginity or sexual acts is not proof of either purity or impurity.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (19 November 2013):

Honeypie agony auntIt is a sexual action (BJ) but the technical term for virginity is PENIS inserted in VAGINA. So they could have dicks coming out of their ears and still call themselves virgins.

Some people even see themselves as virgins after anal sex - because they weren't penetrated in the vagina. And technically, they would be right.

Why worry about how they feel about it? If you think it's bogus, then don't do it yourself.

What I find funny is that so many people STILL put a value on virginity. But it's not something I really spend a lot of time thinking about. If it makes them happy, who cares?

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A female reader, shna Ireland +, writes (19 November 2013):

shna agony aunt... Ok? Mabye you need another sex education class ...

But these girls are still virgins even if all they have done is give. Blow job

Your right that they may not be as pure as ur ideal profound pedestal that you have put the idea of a virgin on.

They are experimenting and its perfectly ok

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