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| Latest articles: Kids today indeed!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 July 2011: I made a joke the other day to my boyfriend, and while it was a little sarcastic and crass, it was true. Let me start this off by saying that this site is a wonderful thing, and I have recieved some very valuable advice from it. I've also been t...
Giving Myself Advice
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 March 2011: Lately, I've realized that using this site has given me a valuable tool. When I go to type a question, my mind wanders to what advice I would give if I stumbled across my question from someone else on this site. From those thoughts, I've b...
First Time Blues
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 February 2011: I lost my virginity when I was 16 years old to a guy who, granted, was a nice guy, but he wasn't anything more than that. I had been waiting and hoping for that moment since the beginning of high school, even before my first kiss. After it finally ...
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Why cant I just get a straight answer.
Q. Okay to me this makes no sense. Like im sure there is a good reason but im not getting it and it bothers me. Theres this guy that I worked with and we kind of hit it off had been working together for 3 months or so only talked at work then he got...
A. 29 March 2011: I have a guy friend who does this. I believe it's because they know we want different things than they do. He likes you, but doesn't want a realtionship with anyone, and is only in it for sexual things. He respects you enough to not want to use you ... (read in full...)
Is it true that only time is a healer?
Q. I was just wondering how you get over a break up? I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years in January and it is still hurting. I know the break up was right for me as I am at Uni and the relationship was getting difficult to keep healthy and happ...
A. 29 March 2011: January probably seems like a long time, but with an involved relationship, you need to allow yourself a little bit more space than that before getting into dating again. Time is very important to the healing process, but you also have to be ... (read in full...)
Could it be that my personality repels boys?
Q. I know will sound like every teenage girls dilemma but I have tried all te usually advice about wait for the right guy and it still doesn't help me. When I was younger I had a tendency to be a bit standoffish with boys but im not like that now. But ...
A. 26 March 2011: Moo's Mum is right. You are very young, and so are the guys you go to school with. Many of these boys have no idea what they're doing when it comes to girls, and the ones that do are generally not the type of guy you want to be around. Give it some ... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of all her exes!
Q. Hi, I'm in a relationship with a woman I absolutely adore, we're both 22, the problem is I know she's had quite a few boyfriends and I myself haven't really had a huge dating history (but not non exsistant). Basically I definitely don't feel good ...
A. 25 March 2011: Think of it this way: if she thought those past guys were better than you, she would be with them. The thing is, she is with you. So, next time you see a picture of her and an ex, instead of getting jealous, think about what a great woman they lost ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend I kissed another guy? I tried to tell him but he cried
Q. my boyfriend of 6 years off and on has hurt me sooo much over the years. and i've broken up with him numerous times for that reason. but we are together now and i do love him and i think we are pretty strong and can get through anything. but one of ...
A. 24 March 2011: There are a few things to consider in this situation. The first thing is why are you wanting to tell him? To make him feel better or to get it off your chest? If the main reason for telling him is to get this off your chest, you really shouldn't. It ... (read in full...)
Was my teacher genuine or will he forget me while I wait? He told me to cool until I'm no longer a student
Q. Okay, so I've been crushing on this teacher for a couple of years now, and we've gotten pretty close lately but he's been scolded and he told me we should cool things off for a while because he says he doesn't want to get me in trouble. He said he ...
A. 22 March 2011: This is really, really unhealthy, and this older man knows this. You shouldn't be worried about whether he will forget you or not, you should be wondering why a 31 year old would be interested in an 18 year old. Even if you are the most beautiful, ... (read in full...)
Would this be called cheating the new Gf? If I just asked my ex to strip while we were on webcam.
Q. Is it cheating if? Let's say you have a girlfriend. And you know your ex still loves you and you still have feelings for her, but you don't want to be in a relationship with her, but you drunk call her telling her you love her, and miss her, et...
A. 22 March 2011: That's definitely cheating, as well as very trashy in every way. I would say this person's girlfriend should leave them, and the ex should get some self confidence. ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant with his baby but he wants someone else!
Q. hi, im 22 yrs old and im pregnant for a guy who doesnt like me not 1bit, he saw me as a bootycall, few weeks ago i found out that im pregnant for the first time and the guy aint intrested he told me he doesnt want nothing to do with me or the baby, ...
A. 22 March 2011: First of all, you need to get past your feelings for him. He doesn't deserve your affection, and he is making it very clear that he doesn't want it. He's not a good man to you or for you, so try your absolute stone-cold hardest to push all dreams of ... (read in full...)
Is a bad date enough to kill the crush?
Q. ladies, is it possible for a woman to have a crush on a guy for months then just stop after a bad date. i mean she was obviously sexually attracted to me before and i look the exact same now so wouldnt that thought still be there when she see's me? ...
A. 21 March 2011: If it was only a crush or a sexual interest, yes a bad date could kill it. That's what dates are for; discovering chemistry (or lack thereof)
If you would like to pursue things with this woman, I suggest you tone the sex part down a little, ... (read in full...)
After 5 years, how do I tell my husband just how unsatisfied I am with our sex life? Or is it just what married life is about....bad sex that eventually becomes no sex?
Q. I have been married for 5 years. My husband has always tended to be a rather selfish lover. However I am now really struggling with this issue. He rarely does anything to pleasure me, and believes that sex is simply about his orgasm. He r...
A. 21 March 2011: well...you're either going to have to get up some guff and talk top your husband (which can be done gently and nicely, yet still to the point) or deal with being mistreated. There's really no way to change things without being a lot more direct than ... (read in full...)
Unrequited love....
Q. I love a very good female friend of mine. We did not know each other two years ago, She has changed my life completely : taught me how to be a nice and normal person. Before that I was just a person who has barely any emotions. I love her a lot b...
A. 18 March 2011: I understand, iunderstand, I understand!! Everyone experiences this at some point in their lives. It hurts so very much, and I feel your pain.
Trying to develop negative feelings for her is not going to work. You aren't going to be able to ... (read in full...)
After 5 years, how do I tell my husband just how unsatisfied I am with our sex life? Or is it just what married life is about....bad sex that eventually becomes no sex?
Q. I have been married for 5 years. My husband has always tended to be a rather selfish lover. However I am now really struggling with this issue. He rarely does anything to pleasure me, and believes that sex is simply about his orgasm. He r...
A. 18 March 2011: I am experiencing a similar issue currently and feel your pain.
You stated that he's a caring husband. I really think that you need to tell him how you really feel and how much it's hurting your feelings. Tell him that you and he really need to ... (read in full...)
My ex has moved in with her new guy after only 6 months together, is this too soon?
Q. So here's my situation, it's been a good 6 months that my LDR ex and i have been broken up. She said that we were on different paths in life and I never understood that because we both loved each other and had made future plans together as well. And ...
A. 16 March 2011: Because you two are no longer dating, though it hurts, it's really not your concern any more.
My father had an experience exactly like this when he was young, and it took him a while to finally understand that his girlfriend, whom he had been wit... (read in full...)
I cant cope with my fiance being bisexual!
Q. My Girlfriend and i have been together some time now and we are engaged, we're quite young but i know i feel strong enough to make this commitment as does she, however she has cheated on me twice before but promises me that it was stupid mistakes ...
A. 16 March 2011: Firstly, the fact that this girl is bisexual has NOTHING to do with the fact that she is unfaithful. Bisexuality does not mean a person is a cheater, promiscuous, or slutty. Case in point: myself. I'm bi, I'm NOT a cheater, nor am I promiscuous. ... (read in full...)
I hate having sex with him, is this normal?
Q. I hate having sex with my husband,but I still love him even after 13 years of relationship. He was my first and only sex partner...Is that normal? What should I do?...
A. 16 March 2011: Next time he comes up to you and wants sex when you do not, tell him he knows where his hand is and that you aren't going to be a sex partner to him until he starts acting like a husband and a father. Then stick to it. ... (read in full...)
All my friends are 'doing stuff' I don't want to though... reassurance?
Q. Hello everyone, I am 15 and so are all of my friends, at least five of them are doing things with there boyfriends which I would Never do! For example some are being friged? One has been licked out and one has given a hand job - Even when I fall...
A. 16 March 2011: I'm proud of you for standing up for your beliefs. You're not wrong or weird, so never give in to any kind of pressure that goes against your true feelings. I think you're being really smart.
One thing that worries me though is that you can't lo... (read in full...)
Does Love Begat Love?
Q. Just a philosophical question for folks... Can you MAKE someone love you by loving them first??? Cliff Notes version of the background story: I am/was married. (we have separated) I met a man and started a relationship with him in J...
A. 16 March 2011: In my opinion/experience, if someone likes another person, the flattery makes that person fond of the liker. I don't think it can build love though unless there's somehting else. Flattery wears off. ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin and sex is daunting!
Q. I am 19 years old and i am still a virgin. I am ready to finally have sex but i find it very daunting and being that intimate with someone is rather scary. I have someone i would like to be my first but i keep avoiding it because of this. How ca...
A. 16 March 2011: Coming from someone on the other side of that fence, I would definitely say wait until you're not as worried. I pressured myself into it for the exact same reasons you listed (he's not that kind of guy, I'm too old to be a virgin, etc.) and I ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why my parents can't be happy that I've found someone like my boyfriend.
Q. Due to the fact that I am still in high school, my parents disapprove of my relationship. They think it is too serious for my age and that it will keep me from doing things like going to college. Here's the thing, NOTHING will EVER keep me fro...
A. 16 March 2011: I was surprised to get a lot of answers that cautioned me over my age. To be clear, he and I aren't running off or getting engaged or anything like that. I also try to avoid fighting with my parents, and the only one picking fights is my mother on ... (read in full...)
He is my best friend. We've talked about finding the 'real thing' but could he be the 'real thing' for me?
Q. Are we in love, me and my best friend ? He is my best friend, I consider him the male version of me, he says the same about me being the female version of him, we know that's true and it's obvious to anyone who sees us together, always suspectin...
A. 15 March 2011: Some of the strongest relationships have stemmed from friendship. That is how it is with my boyfriend and I, as well as my parents (26 years together and still acting like newlyweds)
Just set te standard as "friends first" always. If neither ... (read in full...)
Caught in a torrid love affair with a married woman but she refuses to walk out of her loveless, boring marriage. Why???
Q. Okay....please refrain from excoriating and vilifying me because I know that I'm not supposed to partake in this endeavor, but I'm a little too deep into this game. I've been seeing this married woman who is five years my senior for about three ...
A. 15 March 2011: All I can really say on this is that she appears to be stuck in a rut. Do you want to be stuck in it with her?
Why not find a new woman who can make up her mind? One who will be dedicated to you and not already have a history of infideli... (read in full...)
He gives off signals that he rejects me. Should I just be happy that we are together?
Q. I'm 24 dating a man who is 39. He's been in previous relationships that ended in them having children, his woman taking all his money then saying bye, "I'm leaving you for someone else and I'm taking the kids" I understand his issues, I'm patient ...
A. 15 March 2011: Ok, you do NOT deserve to be treated like this. Not to be crass, but if he treated his wife like this, I am completely unsurprised that she became unhappy and decided to move on. That is exactly what you should do. Find a man who treats you like a ... (read in full...)
He's being extremely confusing and jealous, should I break up with him?
Q. So this is really long and complicated but I'll try to cut it as short as I can. I dated this guy in high school my junior year (I'll call him Brad) for less than 2 months, maybe a month and a half. It wasn't anything that serious, we drif...
A. 15 March 2011: Uh-oh. Was my reply confusing? I thought that was what I was replying to.
If my reply was unclear, it is written from the standpoint that the guy you are with now is fine and you like him, and the other guy is being a jerk.
Hopefully tha... (read in full...)
Giving Myself Advice
Q. Lately, I've realized that using this site has given me a valuable tool. When I go to type a question, my mind wanders to what advice I would give if I stumbled across my question from someone else on this site. From those thoughts, I've b...
A. 15 March 2011: SeeingStars: I love that!! This site is awesome. I really like it on here.
NotDoneYet: Yay! I'm glad you have taken from this experience. Indeed, the trickiness of reading typed words. That's the problem with communication these days. So much get... (read in full...)
Advice Please!!! I'm stuck between two men...
Q. I'm stuck in a situation with two options, both seem right but its hard. option number one....I'm engaged to a wonderful man....Lets call him M, he's sweet,fun, handsome and we have a goodfriendship. I love him, but there are a few red flags that ...
A. 15 March 2011: It sounds like you've already made your decision.
Regardless of whether you have a chance with T or not, you know you are engaged to the wrong man. If he annoys and even grosses you out a bit now, imagine spending the rest of your life with him... (read in full...)
He's being extremely confusing and jealous, should I break up with him?
Q. So this is really long and complicated but I'll try to cut it as short as I can. I dated this guy in high school my junior year (I'll call him Brad) for less than 2 months, maybe a month and a half. It wasn't anything that serious, we drif...
A. 15 March 2011: You should talk to his friends, if you can. Make it clear that you and Brad never had anything serious and explain that the guy is being ridiculous. Keep it short!! Like 3 sentences. A group of guys son't listen to a long story, plus the shorter the ... (read in full...)
Kissing other people is becoming a cycle.
Q. Hi guys, really need some help and to just get this off my chest. Been with my girlfriend for 2 years and she cheated on me (drunken kiss) while she was overseas on some holiday and told me and she regretted it, apologized etc. It took me awhil...
A. 15 March 2011: You two need to 1) talk about this and 2) stop drinking, and using drinking as an excuse.
The saying goes that a sober person's thoughts are a drunk person's actions. The fact that every time an event like this has occured, you two have been apa... (read in full...)
Is it possible that even although he wants to... he just can't get into a relationship with a woman?
Q. Hello guys, so, I'll try and cut this as short as I can; my boyfriend and me have been for a couple of months now, we have been friends before, not very close ones though... and basically everything works out quite fine, but there is one thing w...
A. 15 March 2011: Firstly, it sounds like you really have your feet on the ground.
It really seems like he is denial that he is gay. He might be trying, either for himself or for others, to have a straight relationship in order to prove that he can. He also may... (read in full...)
She wants to meet this other guy and I'm NOT happy about it!
Q. Hey guys, Btw I love this site. It's helped me make a lot of decisions about my relationship, but I still have some problems. Me and my girlfriend have had a couple of problems. When we last broke up she spilled the beans about things she's don...
A. 15 March 2011: Whether she is going to cheat again or not, your relationship has lost its trust. A relationship built without trust can't create healthy love, and WILL create jealousy and paranoia.
You should really try to move on from this girl. The fact tha... (read in full...)
My family life is beyond miserable!
Q. Hi, so im 20 years old, and my family life is beyond miserable. at age 13 i learned my mom was cheating on my dad, so i told him thinking it was the best idea. It wasn't, instead he started to rape me and use me sexually as a way to get back at ...
A. 15 March 2011: You are not being rash. I'm not sure why you've put up with it for this long!! Report your father, move, and as C. Grant said, you may want to seek professional help.
One last thing, this wonderful sounding boyfriend sounds like a great support ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about her sharing herself with other guys or wanting too try?
Q. my gf watches kinky porn, pretend rape, and a couple guys on one girl. what could this say about our relationship or the type of person she is? We have amazing sex and are physically attracted to each other and intimate at the same time. ladies, ...
A. 15 March 2011: I'm not sure if you should be worried about her wanting other guys. If you have watched porn while in a relationship, did you feel like being with other women as a result? Most people don't, but if you're uncomfortable, talk to her about it.
... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about her sharing herself with other guys or wanting too try?
Q. my gf watches kinky porn, pretend rape, and a couple guys on one girl. what could this say about our relationship or the type of person she is? We have amazing sex and are physically attracted to each other and intimate at the same time. ladies, ...
A. 15 March 2011: I'm not sure if you should be worried about her wanting other guys. If you have watched porn while in a relationship, did you feel like being with other women as a result? Most people don't, but if you're uncomfortable, talk to her about it.
... (read in full...)
First Time Blues
Q. I lost my virginity when I was 16 years old to a guy who, granted, was a nice guy, but he wasn't anything more than that. I had been waiting and hoping for that moment since the beginning of high school, even before my first kiss. After it finally ...
A. 10 March 2011: I think you missed what I was getting at a little Hannn...but I guess thanks for the batteries tip haha I think I'm good tho! :)... (read in full...)
Something is nagging me about my boyfriend's past. Should you be honest about your feelings or let the past go?
Q. I just have a short question. Something is nagging me about my boyfriend's past. I am aware that he cannot change it, and perhaps I am over-analyzing or exaggerating things. I am not sure if the answer from him would affect my feelings or not. ...
A. 10 March 2011: You should do a bit of both. Tell him that something bothers you a little, but that you really like him, and you are going to move past it. Tell him you're bringing it up so that you two can talk about it and move past it faster, and keep the convo ... (read in full...)
He dumped me! Does anyone have any tips for me to stop thinking and crying about this? How do I get over him?
Q. I had asked a question recently here about my boyfriend (of 1 year and 2 months) ignoring me and what I should do with him. Well on Monday he broke up with me. It really hurt me and it's still hurting me! His reason was that he was having problems...
A. 10 March 2011: let yourself cry for a week, and be sad. After that, pick yourself up and try to start feeling better. Don't allow yourself to wallow. yea, you're gonna be sad for a while, but the more proactive you are about feeling better, the quicker you will do ... (read in full...)
I found photos of my husband at a big fancy party that he attended without telling me! He said he was going to play pool with friends! I'm I crazy to worry about this?
Q. My husband went to a birthday party for his friends' wife without me (I knew some of the party attendees, but have not socialized with them in over ten years, not because of a falling out or anything, just because of busy lives). He went to this ...
A. 10 March 2011: He probably felt bad that he couldn't bring you, so he made up a story about an event you wouldn't have wanted to attend anyways. Don't be too mad. This is not a big battle to be fighting. ... (read in full...)
I feel my teacher is being two-faced, and she will be writing my resume at the end of the year! How should I handle this situation?
Q. Hi all, any help would be appreciated. I'm from Singapore and am currently preparing for my national exams. Recently however, I've come under fire with my civics tutor as I did not inform her about an upcoming service learning event. To make a long ...
A. 10 March 2011: Is there someone you can report her to? Make sure you are very polite and respectful if you take this route.
Also, have you tried formally apologizing to her for your mistake? Maybe if you give her a very "heartfelt" apology, she will feel bad... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants us to stay in different rooms for a month!
Q. my girlfriend turned round to me as i was about to get into bed last night and said she wanted us to stay in different rooms and not have sex for a month so she can work herself out and that it wont be a problem if i love her. Someone tell me how i ...
A. 10 March 2011: I've had feelings like this before. She feels lost or out of sorts with herself. It likely has nothing at all to do with you, she just needs a little space to regain her balance. Since you two are living with each other, you two are obviously cl... (read in full...)
Is it midterms or is she just avoiding me?
Q. Me and this chick seemed to hit it off really well. Hung out a good few times, 4days in a row actually. However now she has big exams coming up so we can't really meet up.. and it's always me that initiates texts. I'm kinda wondering if the midterms ...
A. 10 March 2011: I agree with Rebeccaa. I looove it when my guy texts first and often don't text him first because I don't want to bug him. Wait til after she's done studying and maybe once a day until that time, check in to see how she is. Don't everwhelm her wi... (read in full...)
I cant sleep with my boyfriend's snoring!
Q. Hey readers, I don't know what to do - whenever I spend the night with my bf, his snoring and loud breathing keeps me awake so I can't get to sleep til, like, 5am! I don't know what to do about it. We've been together 6 months, and he knows he ...
A. 10 March 2011: maybe try some music? Either on headphones or ambient? Another thing is try to figure out why he's snoring. Does his jaw seem to relax back into his neck when he sleeps? That causes snoring and can be relieved by a special mouth guard. Is he sim... (read in full...)
Am I leaving him when he needs me the most?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. He's 4 years younger than me, with us meeting when I was 22 and when he was 18. He is my first love and we had an amazing dynamic relationship. 8 months into our relationship, he started flirting...
A. 9 March 2011: I can see how much you care for this guy, and I completely understand. I don't know how he feels, but what is obvious is that he needs help. He sounds like he has several addictions, love, sex, drugs, and alcohol, going on. He definitely does need ... (read in full...)
First Time Blues
Q. I lost my virginity when I was 16 years old to a guy who, granted, was a nice guy, but he wasn't anything more than that. I had been waiting and hoping for that moment since the beginning of high school, even before my first kiss. After it finally ...
A. 26 February 2011: Thank you :)... (read in full...)
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