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| Latest articles: Kids today indeed!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 July 2011: I made a joke the other day to my boyfriend, and while it was a little sarcastic and crass, it was true. Let me start this off by saying that this site is a wonderful thing, and I have recieved some very valuable advice from it. I've also been t...
Giving Myself Advice
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 March 2011: Lately, I've realized that using this site has given me a valuable tool. When I go to type a question, my mind wanders to what advice I would give if I stumbled across my question from someone else on this site. From those thoughts, I've b...
First Time Blues
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 February 2011: I lost my virginity when I was 16 years old to a guy who, granted, was a nice guy, but he wasn't anything more than that. I had been waiting and hoping for that moment since the beginning of high school, even before my first kiss. After it finally ...
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My dads porn addiction is hurting our family!
Q. A little back story: My mom and I are very close, so we talk to each other like friends often. Because of that, I know a lot about her and my dad's relationship. My dad has been experiencing some Erectile Dysfunction issues over the past two...
A. 10 April 2011: Hey guys. I already understand that I can't intervene in this. I guess I didn't make it clear that what I wanted was advice on how to deal with this, not how to get in the middle of this. ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose my virginity to her because she is not a virgin. What should I do?
Q. Hi I'm a virgin and I've met a girl. shes not a virgin though and she wants my virginity but i don't want to lose my virginity with her as she's not a virgin either what do i do about this? ...
A. 8 April 2011: if you don't want to, don't do it!! Sex comes with a lot of issues and risks. It's not worth it if you're not even sure if you want to or not. ... (read in full...)
He says he wants to, but I am afraid I will ruin the relationship if we have sex.
Q. okay, so i've been with my boyfriend for about 3 months now, we've been close friends for about 5 years. I'm the first serious girlfriend he's ever had, even though i've had quite a few boyfriends before him. the thing is... i'm not a virgin, an...
A. 8 April 2011: You aren't ready to have sex inthis relationship yet. Stay true to your comfort zone and your heart, and wait. Tell him why, honestly and truly. It may take him a while, but eventually he will hopefully understand. ... (read in full...)
I don't really know how to act- sometimes we're very close but at other times, we're not...
Q. I've been dating this guy for around 3 months now, but we only mostly get to see eachother during holiday periods, as we go to different universities. We get along great but he's really confusing me lately. He can be quite hot and cold- one minu...
A. 8 April 2011: Have you come right out and said to him that when he doesn't call it bothers you? That's generally the best approach.
If you've done that and he hasn't responded, or if you are just bored of the situation, maybe you should break things off and ... (read in full...)
My husband lost his job but never told me! He let me believe he was working when he was home sleeping!
Q. hey all, Ive been married for 4 yrs but been with him for 10 yrs. I have a 2yr old baby! My husband lost his job 2 months after we purchase a house but never told me. I used to go to work and so did he and so i thought! He used to drop my son at h...
A. 8 April 2011: This was an incredibly dishonest thing and I don't think you are overreacting at all. If I were you, I would consider the divorce very seriously. And don't skimp on ocllecting child support either!
Best of Luck... (read in full...)
I told people I have a boyfriend when I don't
Q. i made up me having a boyfriend to impress my friends but now they want to meet him what should i do i dont want to tell them because then they wont like me and i hav already said that we broke up but they still want to meet him. Help??...
A. 8 April 2011: Well, first, making things up is always going to get you in this kind of a mess. ESPECIALLY when you do it to impress other people. That's never a good idea.
Never do something like this again, or you'll be caught and you'll look like a fool. Fo... (read in full...)
I don't want to ruin our friendship by flirting if all he was doing was messing around.
Q. I have known this boy my whole life he is the same age as me but goes to a different school We know each other because our mums are best friends and knew each other before we was born, every year in the summer we all (me, my mum, my two sisters, him ...
A. 8 April 2011: Why don't you just keep things friendly and see how he acts next time you two have some space together.
I have a guy friend exactly like this boy, and I also used to like him a little bit when I was about 13 14 years old. Looking back I'm real... (read in full...)
He says he got rid of his porn for me. Should I believe him?
Q. i have a question that is mostly for guys.. i want to start by saying that i am very aware that when a girl tells a guy she wants him to get rid of his porn, usually he just hides it.. but in my case, i never told him how i felt about it, the to...
A. 8 April 2011: Don't over-analyse it too much. He told you that to make you happy and get a bit more of your trust, not to make you think too much about it and question it. From the smiley faces, he probably succeeded in his goal, so don't worry about it!... (read in full...)
Who should apologize. We talked about her on FB, but she only found out about it by stealing a password.
Q. I have been best friends with this girl I work with. Lat's call her "E". She tells me everything even the fact that she's seeing a guy when she is very much married. She has another very close friend whom she just recently introduced to me. Let's ...
A. 8 April 2011: If you don't want to be friends with E anymore, then why should you worry about apologizing to her? If you decide you want to talk to her, honestly tell her what you think and feel, but if you don't even want to be friends any more then don't waste ... (read in full...)
I have a really embarrassing problem. Should I tell her?
Q. hey guys, i just wanted to know, is it normal for me to 'jizz' every time i snog my girlfriend i want to tell her that it happens but im scared in case its a turn off, or makes things weird between us, or makes her go away from me shall i tell h...
A. 8 April 2011: You're still really young, so it's normal that you haven't fully mastered all of the equipment. Even if you do have a full on orgasm, I'm sure with time, that will stop happening just from making out.
If you are just having some precum, that jus... (read in full...)
My dads porn addiction is hurting our family!
Q. A little back story: My mom and I are very close, so we talk to each other like friends often. Because of that, I know a lot about her and my dad's relationship. My dad has been experiencing some Erectile Dysfunction issues over the past two...
A. 8 April 2011: This isn't a fake post. I really, really wish it were because I can't even look at my dad the same because of this. If I wanted to ask about a porn debate, I would have made a post stating just that. In fact my last question was a debate question ... (read in full...)
How Much of My Own Beliefs and Opinions Should Enter DearCupidAnswers?
Q. I've noticed that in some of my answers to questions on this site, I have allowed my personal beliefs to color my opinions. So my question is, is that wrong? It seems nearly impossible to take my whole self out of the equation, but what level i...
A. 5 April 2011: Thank you everyone for your input. I really identified with Denise32, as it sounds like you have experienced what I'm talking about. I encountered a question about something I had a very strong opinion against and it colored my answer.
I was refe... (read in full...)
How Do I Deal/Be Supportive to A Super Busy BF? He goes to School FT & Works FT.
Q. I'm not sure how to treat my ex. I broke up with him because he stopped spending time with me. When we met he was working, had a car and a motorcycle, house etc.. and 4 months later he got suspended with pay(though he lost his job), then had to s...
A. 5 April 2011: Maybe he does need time? Maybe you're reading too much in to some of his actions and making them into bigger problems, but maybe not. You need to decide what's right for you. I would suggest that you listen to him though. Give him a little time and ... (read in full...)
I don't want to ruin her chance for happiness, nor do I want to her slip through my fingers. Please help.
Q. Hey. I've recently (three/four months ago) been through a rather violent breakup. A number of factors led to this; her grandmother died and she took it out on everyone else, we fell distant.. you know. The major factor - one that we had kept fro...
A. 5 April 2011: I know, but even so, watch your motives in everything you do. Never lie to yourself, regardless of what you tell the world. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend smells down there. Why, is this normal, and can it be changed?
Q. Before i start, im a girl, im 16, i have been with my boyfriend now for four months and i am really happy with the way things are going but here it goes... So, my boyfriend is a year older than me, he isn't very experienced, I am the first girl h...
A. 3 April 2011: If you guys have been together for a while, there should be an emotional connection. Because of that, you two should be able to talk. Everyone gets sweaty, and I've dated a guy who was uncircumsized. Sweat does gather there, even with clean dudes... (read in full...)
How do I come out if I am gay?
Q. Hello.I am 13 years old and I know im gay, but how do I come out? I have a boyfriend but we don't show our love at school because we are scared of being teased by other students. My parents don't know either. The only time we hold hands or kiss is ...
A. 3 April 2011: It sounds like you feel the need to come out, even thought you are afraid. Are you sure you're ready to?
You are very young, and most people in your age group won't be able to understand being gay. If I were you, I would talk to someone you trus... (read in full...)
Should I get sexually involved with my 66 year-old boyfriend's son?
Q. i was dating this 66 year old man. now i want to have sex with his older son. The father doesn't know. im just talking to his son on the internet. The son wants me to come to his place were he stays with his kids. I told him i would never ...
A. 3 April 2011: If you don't want to get hooked on this man, don't meet up with him. It's also a little risky to date in the family like that. Sooner or later your ex will find out, and it will hurt him. Don't hurt him just for sex with a man you don't even want to ... (read in full...)
It is a long story, but is my teacher flirting?
Q. Hello everybody. I have this huge problem and i really need sincere help. It is getting worse every day. Please please before judging me …read this and put yourself in my situation. It’s long but I can’t make it shorter … Last year I moved to a new...
A. 3 April 2011: Is it possible that you are just a favorite student? Is it possible that he just considers you as more of a friend than he considers most students?
If you are very uncomfortable and truly believe his feelings for you go past just friendsh... (read in full...)
Could he love me again?
Q. Hi I would really appreciate any advice from anyone whos ever been in a similar situation. I have been with my husband for 20 years, married for 9 of those. We've had a stressful couple of years, financial difficulties, moving home, young family e...
A. 3 April 2011: You need to get out of this state of limbo. Tell him that his lack of a choice is hurting you, and he needs to choose immediately whether he is staying or leaving. Bring up the fact that if he wants to go out and act like a single man and say ... (read in full...)
How can I get my sexually shy BF to put the moves on me?
Q. My boyfriend isn't very confident when it comes to anything like kissing me, putting his arms around me ect. He's not normally shy but I know he is with this. At first he even needed prompting to hold my hand! When we kiss it's normally me who ...
A. 3 April 2011: He's young just like you and really afraid he'll mess up. I think with all of your hinting and such, you're putting a lot of pressure on him and making it even harder for him to get confident about it. I would suggest you give him some time and cool ... (read in full...)
I don't want to ruin her chance for happiness, nor do I want to her slip through my fingers. Please help.
Q. Hey. I've recently (three/four months ago) been through a rather violent breakup. A number of factors led to this; her grandmother died and she took it out on everyone else, we fell distant.. you know. The major factor - one that we had kept fro...
A. 3 April 2011: I would vote that you tell her how you feel, then let her decide. Make sure she knows that even if she does not choose to be with you, that you'll still be her friend. By giving her a choice with no strings attached, you shine yourself as a person ... (read in full...)
How Do I Deal/Be Supportive to A Super Busy BF? He goes to School FT & Works FT.
Q. I'm not sure how to treat my ex. I broke up with him because he stopped spending time with me. When we met he was working, had a car and a motorcycle, house etc.. and 4 months later he got suspended with pay(though he lost his job), then had to s...
A. 3 April 2011: My mom is the same wya about my relationship and I understand how you feel.
What I've ended up doing is instead of allowing little doubts and fears to fester in my brain, I just go right up to him and tell him about them. I'll tell him what my ... (read in full...)
Guys, do you only go down on a woman you are really into?
Q. Guys, do you only go down on a woman youre really into-- your gf or someone you care about/love? or do you do it just for fun or for reciprocity?...
A. 3 April 2011: This is going to be different for every single guy you talk to or date. You're going to have to play it by ear. My boyfriend does it because he likes to nad because he likes the intimacy, as well as pleasuring me. Some guys will do it for other ... (read in full...)
He's bored with me when we are not doing anything, like having sex.
Q. My boyfriend and I are in our 20s and have dating for about 18months…. I sometimes feel as though my boyfriend doesn’t take me seriously. He is a very smart, fun, well-rounded, down to earth person who has a lot of friends. I love him a lot. ...
A. 3 April 2011: I think you need to move on to someone who is willing to be a partner in a relationship. This guy isn't being the kind of boyfriend you want, and what you are asking for is very reasonable. You have already tried talking to him, which is great and a ... (read in full...)
Fat girl seeking a man that love fat women
Q. i am a 19 year old female. i am a heavy girl and i have never had a boyfriend or even my first kiss. I am horrible on the computer. I have been searching the web for men seeking very fat woman but can not find any chat rooms for men seeking the fat ...
A. 3 April 2011: I don't know of any chat-rooms, but you are really going to want to be careful about the online dating thing. Don't get hurt or worse! Just give it time maybe? I bet there's someone you didn't even know of thinking about you and wishing you noti... (read in full...)
How Do I Deal/Be Supportive to A Super Busy BF? He goes to School FT & Works FT.
Q. I'm not sure how to treat my ex. I broke up with him because he stopped spending time with me. When we met he was working, had a car and a motorcycle, house etc.. and 4 months later he got suspended with pay(though he lost his job), then had to s...
A. 3 April 2011: I take it you two got back together? Cangrats :) Maybe ride this out for a little while? If he is important to you, you guys can work through a little time apart until your schedules stabalize. Maybe when he cancels to come over for dinner, grab... (read in full...)
Tried to get my GF to "change" for me, but I'm still not attracted to her and there's no sexual tension
Q. I've been with my GF for 3 years now, but our relationship is missing sexual tension. I'll try to be as honest as possible. You will judge my behavior as selfish, and I will not object, but know that when I'm changing my GF to my tastes, I'm trying ...
A. 3 April 2011: I think you realized that you sounded like an absolute scum-bag in your post and then tried to soften everything that you had said. At this point, I really don't know which is true. If you were only worried about being addicted to porn or wanted ... (read in full...)
Unerotic water sports?
Q. A girl I'm seeing is wanting me to pee on her. I know lots of people will do this for the erotic pleasure, but she insists that this isn't the case for her. She says its more about the intimacy of it. I'm a little confused by her reasoning. Anyone ...
A. 3 April 2011: This is a little bit weird. Are you comfotable with this? If not, maybe try telling her that you don't find that intimate, you feel like it would be disrespectful to her and you'd rather find another way to be intimate together that doesn't involve ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend who was arrested for domestic violence against me says he is changing. Can I believe him?
Q. I had my boyfriend arrested for domestic violence after he pushed me while he was drunk. We have a no contact order until his court date at the end of April. We also have a 2 year old son. Although he is not supposed to contact me or our son, he p...
A. 1 April 2011: This is a tricky situation. While he has the excuse that he was drunk, alcohol removes a person's inhabitions. It doesn't change who they are, it just lets the "dog out" in most cases. While it would be wonderful to believe that he is a changed ... (read in full...)
Is he just projecting his insecurities onto me so he can feel better about himself?
Q. A guy I was dating told me he didn't want to date me anymore because I still live at home (I'm 28) but I work full time and I pay my parents rent, and I am in school part time to be a nurse. I already have my Bachelor Degree in elementary education, ...
A. 1 April 2011: It definitely seems like he's searching for reasons to break up at any rate. It might be projecting his own insecurities or some other motive, but whatever the cause, you don't sound like a loser to me. Don't let him get you down, and continue to ... (read in full...)
I get the feeling once in a while he is not being faithful to me and I am finding myself hating him and not trusting him...
Q. Might sound that I am overreacting but am in desparate need of opinions. The other day my boyfriend ordered himself a drink, I then asked him what it was, ans he said it was it cointreau and lemonade and it was one of his favourite drinks...
A. 1 April 2011: Try talking to him about it. Keep calm and sincere and bring up the things that are bothering you first, putting emphasis on the lack of interest he seems to be having in you. Then, bring up your worries that he is cheating. If you talk it out, you ... (read in full...)
Tried to get my GF to "change" for me, but I'm still not attracted to her and there's no sexual tension
Q. I've been with my GF for 3 years now, but our relationship is missing sexual tension. I'll try to be as honest as possible. You will judge my behavior as selfish, and I will not object, but know that when I'm changing my GF to my tastes, I'm trying ...
A. 1 April 2011: Oh my God. I'm going to do my very best to refrain from calling you every synonym to bigoted and self-righteous I can think of. I do not judge people and I am a very kind advice giver on this site, but you sir are completely delusional if you think ... (read in full...)
My shoes smell badlyy
Q. I'm embarrassed to ask this on a public website but at the same time, I'm thankful for the anonymity of the Internet. This isn't a relationship question, by the way, but it's REALLY bothering me. I'm not cochina (dirty), and I try to keep clea...
A. 31 March 2011: Foot odor is the result of bacteria. Exfoliate your feet with a scrub, clean under your nails with soap and a brush, and then dry them well. Put on some sweet smelling lotion after if you want to.
Secondly, wash all of your shoes thorough... (read in full...)
My crush intends to make me jealous
Q. Grr! I'm so confused! There's this boy that I really, really like, and I think he likes me too because we flirt and stuff around the halls at school and stuff sometimes. Like, we stare at each other, and sort of always seem to find each other. Idk. ...
A. 31 March 2011: Because he likes you. He's a typical young guy and is a little immature. He's doing this to get exactly the reaction you are having (aka "grrr"). You already know that's what he's doing, and you already know exactly why! You said so in your question ... (read in full...)
He broke up with me because he didnt want his child to get attached to me and vice verca
Q. Im a 18 yo mum to a 10month little girl, and i was seeing a 52yo man with a 12yo son...things were going absolutly fine the four of us got along really well and we were doing things that normal familys do untill about 6months into the relationship ...
A. 31 March 2011: If he doesn't want you all to get attached, then he isn't ready for love or a family situation. He's made that abundantly clear by breaking up with you. While it is very painful for you I'm sure, please try to move forward for yourself and your ... (read in full...)
First Date & A mysterious Call
Q. So today I went on a really good *first* date with this guy I met recently. While walking together,around 10 PM, someone called him ..he said sorry to me then responded with "I cant talk now" (i dont remember what else he said but it was short),he ...
A. 31 March 2011: Stop over-analysing. It was most likely a family member or something. Relax!! People have a tendency to over-analyse when excited, ladies in particular. Just relax.
Best of Luck... (read in full...)
He broke up because he didn't want the hassle of a girlfriend anymore
Q. About 10 weeks ago my bf broke up with me after nearly 2 years of being together. His reason? He didnt want the hassle of a gf anymore, wanted to do what he wants when he wants. Basically he wanted space. He is a huge mummys boy and plays footy and ...
A. 30 March 2011: Definitely stop sleeping with him. That isn't fair to either of you, and ESPECIALLY you! If you aren't ready to cut off all contact, cool it down, keep it platonic, and don't meet up with him any more. If he asks you why, say simply that he doesn't ... (read in full...)
My ex keeps asking after me...
Q. Basically I'm going to visit my friends for a week...staying in the town where my ex girlfriend lives!!!! Recently I hear she has been asking people when I'm next in town etc and that she wishes she could talk to me..... I can't understand w...
A. 30 March 2011: My first reaction was to say don't go out for a visit, but it is a bad idea to let avoidance and/or other people control your actions.
If you don't want to talk to her, simply don't. If she tries to talk to you, just stay calm, giver her maybe a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't seem to be in to what I do
Q. Hi DearCupid Forum, I'm a 21 year old musician/singer/college student currently in a relationship that hosts average ups and downs. Lately, there is one thing that is really upsetting me.. Music is the one thing I am truly passionate for i...
A. 30 March 2011: It seems like your heart says you need someone who can share this huge part of you. Follow your heart, follow your dreams. Time to tell him good-bye... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't seem to be in to what I do
Q. Hi DearCupid Forum, I'm a 21 year old musician/singer/college student currently in a relationship that hosts average ups and downs. Lately, there is one thing that is really upsetting me.. Music is the one thing I am truly passionate for i...
A. 29 March 2011: "I've heard your songs, you're good". Which to me translates to "Hey, I'd rather not be blunt about this but I'm not exactly a fan of yours"
I'm not sure how you got this message from what he said. Was it his tone? Are you sure you aren't reading ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend needs a break because he has alot on his plate
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for quite a while. (4 years) We've had our ups and downs like any other relationship however I feel like we rarely do anything anymore. He never takes me out. He never makes plans for us to go out or do ...
A. 29 March 2011: I would take him seriously. The last thing you want to be is another stress on a partner's full plate. Yes, you deserve the effort, but if he is panicked and stressed, he can't really be expected to be on his top charm. Another thing is that th... (read in full...)
Why cant I just get a straight answer.
Q. Okay to me this makes no sense. Like im sure there is a good reason but im not getting it and it bothers me. Theres this guy that I worked with and we kind of hit it off had been working together for 3 months or so only talked at work then he got...
A. 29 March 2011: I have a guy friend who does this. I believe it's because they know we want different things than they do. He likes you, but doesn't want a realtionship with anyone, and is only in it for sexual things. He respects you enough to not want to use you ... (read in full...)
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