A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it cheating if?Let's say you have a girlfriend. And you know your ex still loves you and you still have feelings for her, but you don't want to be in a relationship with her, but you drunk call her telling her you love her, and miss her, etc.Let's say you webcam with this ex. And you ask her take off her clothes and you basically get yourself off while watching her on a webcam.Would you consider yourself to have just cheated?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): I'm madly in love with my gf and would never disrespect her by doing what you did. You didn't just cheat. You double cheated. First, you're cheating your gf of proper love because you still have feelings for your exgf. Second, you cheated on your gf by webf*cking your exgf. Would you think your gf cheated on you if she did these same things to you with her exgf or another girl? Your conscious knows the real answer.
A
female
reader, Drat001  +, writes (25 March 2011):
"I guess, I don't know what i wanna do at this point."You're not going to like my advice but here it is: grow up.At 26-29 you should be mature enough by now to not do those kinds of things. You're above college age but you're acting like you're still in high school with this ex girlfriend. If you're ready to settle down, then dump your girlfriend, stop stringing her along and making things worse for her for the sake of whatever narcisistic reason you're with her. I know you don't want to hear it, but you really do need to stop, take a good look at your life and evaluate what it is you NEED, not just what you want. What you need is stability, security and direction; none of which you seem to have right now, at least not personally. If you can take some time, a whole afternoon, just to yourself, no distractions of any kind, make a list of your personal and professional goals in life--those you have achieved and those that you have yet to achieve. Decide what the easiest goal to accomplish from your current position is and then go for it. Don't put off things, do it now! Once you achieve that, pick the next easiest goal and do that. Keep doing increasingly harder, longer-term goals, and all the while, do NOT use your girlfriend or ex girlfriend for any kind of help whatsoever in actually accomplishing the goal, and don't let "being in a relationship" be a goal. Once you've achieved several goals, and you're life is making more sense, and you've matured somewhat, you'll find that the whole relationship thing will just come to you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreciate all the input. The issue runs more deeply w/my ex and while i don't want to be in a relationship with her, i do love her, but hate that i love her, because i'm not ready to settle down or be in love, yet. My ex is also hotter than my current girlfried, and while I like my current girlfriend my ex and i are crazyily attracted to each other. There are a lot of other things to do with it. I do drunk call her. I do tell her i love her. and i know i should cause i know she still wants me.I guess, I don't know what i wanna do at this point.
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A
female
reader, dreamingbella  +, writes (23 March 2011):
 Obviously, a big "yes"! Some people say, even when you look at a handsome guy on the street, you think of you and him in a private room, strip each other off, then watch each other naked. That's called "cheating in mind". Coz if you got a chance to have a private room with him, you'd definitely do it. That's cheating anyway. So back in your situation, either you stop and swear to yourself not do or even think of it again, if not, do break up and don't hurt your girl.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2011): If you have to ask whether something is cheating, then it probably is. In your case, I'd say that even though you didn't physically cheat, the potential to do so is there. For instance, if you were to keep watching your ex on the webcam, you're more likely to get tempted to actually do stuff with her. Are you going to have enough self control not to do it when that time comes? Maybe, but is that a chance you're willing to take? Do you want to cheat on your girlfriend? If so, you shouldn't be with her. No one deserves that kind of treatment. (I feel as if you asked this question so somebody would tell you it's okay so you can continue to do it without feeling guilty, so that's why I'm asking you these things.) As for calling her and saying you love her, I would suggest that in the future you just don't call her when you're drunk to avoid saying it again or anything else you might regret saying later. As you said, you don't mean these things, so you don't want to lead her on as that will only complicate things. It's fine if you want to continue a friendship with her, but if you have any love or respect for your current girlfriend, friendship is all the further you'll go with your ex. That means no more asking her to strip on webcam. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but you have to make a choice: girlfriend or ex girlfriend. You said you don't want a relationship with your ex, so your choice is really this: Would you rather have a meaningless, unsatisfying (besides physically) friends-with-benefits type relationship where there's no love only lust or, a genuine relationship where there's both?
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 March 2011):
 There was cheating even before the whole strip show. The drunk call saying you love/miss/etc. alone would get you broken up with by your current girlfriend if she knew.
The whole webcm strip show is just trashy, as SS has pointed out. If you are the girlfriend who found out about your boyfriend cheating, drop him.
If you are the cheater, you should break up and let your girlfriend be free.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): definately cheating. thats kinda disgusting behaviour. If i found out about it and it was my guy it would definately end the relationship
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female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (22 March 2011):
 That's definitely cheating, as well as very trashy in every way. I would say this person's girlfriend should leave them, and the ex should get some self confidence.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): Yes
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female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (22 March 2011):
 I think the GF is asking, it says female posted this.Well if he did con his EX into cam Sex you know you're the next on his hit list of EgoEvents. This is not about sex this is about power and control.
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female
reader, lucky lynne  +, writes (22 March 2011):
 Its sexual,of course it is. Would anybody want it doing to them?
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female
reader, LizBeth +, writes (22 March 2011):
Yes, it's cheating. And you know it's cheating, you're just looking for someone to say, "Aw gee, it's not that bad." Rule of thumb: Don't do anything that you wouldn't want your current girlfriend to see.
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female
reader, Full moon temptress1 +, writes (22 March 2011):
How would you feel if your girlfriend did all the things you have just done.Would you call that cheating???
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female
reader, Drat001 +, writes (22 March 2011):
It's called having an "online affair," and it's what people go to jail for, when they do it with cops pretending to be underaged girls/boys. It doesn't mean you can't be entirely faithful to your new girlfriend in the future, but if you have any real feelings for your new girlfriend, you'll stop cybersexing with your ex.It's probably best not to tell your current GF about this. Just move on, and don't do it again.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (22 March 2011):
 Yes it is cheating when you have a girlfriend and you still have feelings for your ex.Aside from that any sexual act is sex.FA
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 March 2011):
I would personally say that this is cheating. At the very least, it's lousy behaviour. I would say to the girlfriend that she should walk because there is no way this relationship can work if he truly loves another woman, is telling her that and is asking her to strip.
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male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (22 March 2011):
In one word: Yes.If that's happening over a webcam, who knows what would happen if the two were together.
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