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| Latest articles: Kids today indeed!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 July 2011: I made a joke the other day to my boyfriend, and while it was a little sarcastic and crass, it was true. Let me start this off by saying that this site is a wonderful thing, and I have recieved some very valuable advice from it. I've also been t...
Giving Myself Advice
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 March 2011: Lately, I've realized that using this site has given me a valuable tool. When I go to type a question, my mind wanders to what advice I would give if I stumbled across my question from someone else on this site. From those thoughts, I've b...
First Time Blues
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 February 2011: I lost my virginity when I was 16 years old to a guy who, granted, was a nice guy, but he wasn't anything more than that. I had been waiting and hoping for that moment since the beginning of high school, even before my first kiss. After it finally ...
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First Time Blues
Q. I lost my virginity when I was 16 years old to a guy who, granted, was a nice guy, but he wasn't anything more than that. I had been waiting and hoping for that moment since the beginning of high school, even before my first kiss. After it finally ...
A. 10 March 2011: I think you missed what I was getting at a little Hannn...but I guess thanks for the batteries tip haha I think I'm good tho! :)... (read in full...)
Am I leaving him when he needs me the most?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. He's 4 years younger than me, with us meeting when I was 22 and when he was 18. He is my first love and we had an amazing dynamic relationship. 8 months into our relationship, he started flirting...
A. 9 March 2011: I can see how much you care for this guy, and I completely understand. I don't know how he feels, but what is obvious is that he needs help. He sounds like he has several addictions, love, sex, drugs, and alcohol, going on. He definitely does need ... (read in full...)
He doesn't express his feelings anymore ...
Q. It was great at the beginning. He would tell me the most sweetest things, like why he likes me and how much I mean to him. And yeah, he does say 'I love you' to me. But not much more. But yesterday I poured my heart out about how much he means to...
A. 8 March 2011: Just come out and say it. In my experience, people, guys in particular, really appreciate it when we just come out and say what we want. I've also noticed that sometimes guys get squirmy when the real deep stuff rolls around and try to ma... (read in full...)
Sex, I seem to really want it...
Q. I'm a virgin, and I've been with my boyfriend for a while. And alot of the time when I think about him. I just think, that I really want to lose my virginity to him. And I havn't really done much sexually. I've only gave him one handjob and hes ...
A. 8 March 2011: Think reeeeally hard about this. I did what youre planning and it ended up being a big mistake. Putting a time limit on things is just giving yourself an excuse to pressure yourself and your partner into doing something you know in your heart you ... (read in full...)
I slept with the adopted daughter of my estranged uncle. I'm in my early 30's, she's 21. Can this work?
Q. Not sure what to do but last night I slept with the adopted daughter of my estranged uncle. Among the obvious issues here she is also only 21 years old. I am in my early thirties. I have only recently met her in the first place. Turned out she is ...
A. 7 March 2011: Yay!! Love!! Best of luck!... (read in full...)
I am still in love with my ex, and I need advice to get over him! Please help!
Q. I still love my ex. I was with him twice, and it’s been 10 months since we split up. The thing is, I can’t stand to suffer in silence so I managed to confess it all to him. I really just want him back, but I know it’s not going to happen, so I ...
A. 7 March 2011: I was exactly the same way. What you need to do is allow yourself to move on. You're probably a little afraid of what it will be like not to have him or someone to hold on to. Let me tell you a secret: you won't die. You won't fall off the earth, ... (read in full...)
I feel like she was expecting me to make a move and was surprised I didn't! I am new to dating again, and I need advice!
Q. I am looking for some dating advice. I met a girl online. We have had 2 good dates and the weekend was the third. We had a great night out and we ended up at her place. She said I could stay but no funny business, so I probably took that to ...
A. 7 March 2011: Tell her that you are rusty with signals! Tell her that you haven't dated in a while! How do you feel about her? if you like her, tell her that too! Then she'll be more understanding. Explain that you heard her say, loud and clear, no funny ... (read in full...)
I slept with the adopted daughter of my estranged uncle. I'm in my early 30's, she's 21. Can this work?
Q. Not sure what to do but last night I slept with the adopted daughter of my estranged uncle. Among the obvious issues here she is also only 21 years old. I am in my early thirties. I have only recently met her in the first place. Turned out she is ...
A. 7 March 2011: Uh-oh!!
I don't see an ehtical problem with this. You two really like each other, you aren't related by blood, so, ta-da!
Unfortunately...it's technically illegal. Will your families have problems with this? If they will, how much will that b... (read in full...)
I'm 20 and pregnant. Happy but worried. I need some reassuring words to know this is going yo be okay!
Q. I'm 20 and I'm pregnant. I am on the pill and I've never missed one, although I am on anti-depressants so maybe that has stopped them from working? My doctor never mentioned it, so I think I've just been really unlucky. Except, I wouldn't class it ...
A. 7 March 2011: Is your boyfriend also happy and supportive? If so, that's a real plus. You are very young, but even so, age doesn't always dictate love. had you two talked about marriage and life together before this happened? If so, that's even better. I high... (read in full...)
I got pregnant from a one night stand. Can I pass this baby off as my boyfriend's?
Q. I've been in a serious relationship for the past 2 and a half years with my Algerian boyfriend except for the last 8 months I’ve been living with my mother in a different country . Of course things haven’t been going too well for us since we’ve ...
A. 7 March 2011: Uh-oh. Everyone makes mistakes. This is a rather large, rather guilt ridden mistake you have made, but you already seem to understand that it was wrong and don't need to be lectured. Ok, so it's sounding like you've already decided to keep ... (read in full...)
A guy fell for the 'fake' me on Facebook
Q. 6 months ago in september, i created a fake facebook profile with a fake name and fake pictures of a girl. In september i met this guy and we started a relationship. Now he is very serious and wants me to visit him, we almost make 6 months, i need ...
A. 7 March 2011: Don't meet him!!
How do you know he is who he says he is? You might say "because it's been 6 months!!" But think about it: it's been 6 months, and he still doesn't know who YOU are.
This was a very very bad idea hun. In several areas. 1... (read in full...)
How do I lose weight in my thighs?
Q. hey guys... im not one of them people who are obsessed with their figure and saying *OMG I GOTTA LOSE THIS HALF KILO.. coz im not like that... im not being vain but im happy with how i look.. thing is im really curvy; therefore fat thighs, u just d...
A. 6 March 2011: There is no easy way to healthily lose weight, especially if you want to keep it off. Avoid pills, crash diets, or really dieting at all. Just continue with exercises and eat healthily and fillingly. Maybe get into some dancing or sports so that ... (read in full...)
I lent my sister's family money when they were suffering, but I feel used and I'm ready to break ties with my family! Am I right or am I being selfish?
Q. My problem is my family (this could be a long one!!). I’m the youngest of three and come from a traditional background. Unlike my elder sister, I rebelled in every sense. I broke boundaries as I refused to be treated differently because I’m a ...
A. 6 March 2011: I believe you are right, and very strong to have pulled yourself out of such a situation. From what you have said, it doesn't seem like there is anything you could have done to help the situation. You mentioned not knowing how to tell your boyfri... (read in full...)
Should I continue to reach out to him, should I give him more space, or should I drop this thing altogether? Please help!
Q. So, I've been seeing this guy for a while. He has extremely low self esteem and thinks that I'm better off without him. He opened up to me last weekend about a number of things, but now he's acting like I don't exist, which is sort of confusing. He ...
A. 6 March 2011: This guy has several symptoms of depression, an needs some professional help. His mental state sounds really unhealthy. My mom has depression, as have a number of the people I've tried to be with. The heart breaking thing about people with depr... (read in full...)
How do I show him it doesn't matter to me that he's poor? I want to date him.
Q. This man i like said he wanted to date me and he has my phone number. I bumped into him in town yesterday and we hung out together. we also bumped into one of his friends. his friend asked who i was, and when i told him, he said the man i like h...
A. 6 March 2011: If his frien approached you like that, it's most likely a safe bet that he was telling the truth. This guy probably really likes you, but doesn't feel like he's "worthy", and his friend is trying to help, seeing how much his buddy likes you. Did ... (read in full...)
I got hurt in the past and now I don't like anyone
Q. I'll keep this short, I'm a 16 year old girl and I have liked guys in the past, but a couple of years ago I got hurt, nothing serious, but ever since then I haven't liked any guys, or had any crushes, or anything like that. Is that normal? And I ...
A. 5 March 2011: I had the same thing happen. It's nothing wrong with you. One part of what's going on is that your tastes have just matured. You've found out a little bit more about what you do and don't like in a boyfriend. The right person will come along who ... (read in full...)
2nd date--showing some skin ok?
Q. Is showing a bit of flesh during a date (number 2) acceptable...m just talking about a bit of my back . . .i dun wanna come across as too desperate or something...
A. 5 March 2011: Are you talking about your wardrobe? In that case, consdier your man. Is he conservative? Is he pretty relaxed? If he's fairly relaxed, I don't think a little back showing is going to hurt anything. He'll most likely think you look very pretty. ... (read in full...)
Why do men like to finger women?
Q. I am just curious why guys like to finger their girlfriend? Do they get any pleasure beside her returning him a favour like a bj?...
A. 3 March 2011: @Danielepew-lol. I'm adding you cuz that made me chuckle.
In addition ot being a turn on and being special, it's also reasonably safe se. No pregnancy or STDs unless the guy is handling his junk or jacking himself while intermittently fingerin... (read in full...)
I think I might be bisexual or bi-curious, how do I tell people this?
Q. Ok I think I'm either bisexual or bi-curious. And I'm not too sure how the girl I like will respond if she finds out. Please help how should I go about telling people about it? Thanks ...
A. 2 March 2011: Firstly, you do not have to come out until you are ready. Coming from a bisexual female, I didn't come out til I was sure, and only then to my closest friends. Even now, I don't broadcast my seuality and few people know. It's not really any body ... (read in full...)
I cheated on him when drunk but I suspect he cheated too!
Q. Okay, I'll probably get judged for this post but what the hell my head is FRIED!! I could seriously do with some non-judgmental advice, oh and by the way, don't tell me to break up with my bf cos it ain't gonna happen. Okay... Me and my bf have bee...
A. 2 March 2011: I think you are afraid he'll cheat because you did, not because he actually cheated. It is possible that she contacted your boyfriend first, or that the situation there is totally platonic. It is also possible that he is cheating, but I'm thinking ... (read in full...)
How can I overcome my fear of sexual-intimacy?
Q. I am seventeen and have been in a relationship for 4 months or so, and it's getting to that point where we need to move on to the sexual side of the relationship... I've had previous relationships, but they haven't worked out because I just wasn't p...
A. 2 March 2011: Youre afraid because you aren't ready yet. If you aren't being pressured by your boyfriend, don't pressure yourself!! You don't need to be ready right now. It's ok if you aren't!
When you are ready, start slow, like with just hands on the outs... (read in full...)
How do I let her down nicely?
Q. I'm a 24 year old guy. I'm a bit shy, I'm not a lady's man or anything, but older women sometimes hit on me in an aggressive way. The thing that really bothers me is that sometimes it's as if they do it only because they know I'm shy. p / p / L...
A. 2 March 2011: Coming from a woman's perspective, I'm not sure this woman quite knows how to act. She may really like you, but not have any experience with flirting or trying to get a man's attention. In this sort of situation, LIGHT embarassment can be effective ... (read in full...)
What do married men think of women who are friends with his wife, but flirts with him?
Q. What does a married man really think of a woman that flirts with him? What does he think of her character as a person? Does he really think he can trust someone like that? Especially if he sees that she is friendly with his wife? ...
A. 28 February 2011: Agreed with firstlovelastlove. That's not a cool deal. If a woman is friends with another woman who is flirting with her husband, she is either oblivious to it or keeping the friendship in order to keep an eye on that woman. The man, if he is ... (read in full...)
The man I love proposed to a woman back home. He is giving me mixed signals. Help!
Q. Hi everyone, I have posted similar questions to this issue, and this is somewhat of a followup question. I have fallen for a foreign-exchange student who loves another that may or may not return the feelings. It is a relationship from his past tha...
A. 28 February 2011: Goodness.
Ok, so do you think it's fair that he's trying to marry a woman in his home country while he's dating you? I don't. You really shouldn't take that kind of treatment.
You need to really honestly think about what your opinion is on al... (read in full...)
He's Not So Good at Compromising
Q. This is going to make a few people chuckle, I guarantee it :) I adore my boyfriend with my whole heart, and we're definitely heading down the serious road. We're about to graduate, and we've been talking about moving in together after we get more...
A. 28 February 2011: Thank you for your answers. It isn't a make or break thing but I appreciate your time regardless!! I'll try talking to him again, maybe when the moving in actually starts.... (read in full...)
Does body size matter to a guy?
Q. Do men find a curvy body attractive??? I am short lol! Only 5'4" JUST!!! and I am not a skinny girl like, I wish I was more hourglass too, my measurements are 38-35-42 and I just want to know, do guys like girls with a bit extra on the bottom a...
A. 28 February 2011: Guys definitely don't get out the tape measure dear.
It matters to some guys, but they aren't super nit-picky. Your height is going to be cute to a lot of them, actually, and you're not really that short!
Curvy is absolutely something a lot ... (read in full...)
I've had a rocky time, is this choice gonna make things better or worse?
Q. 2009-2010 was not a good year for me. There was bullying and a lot of other stuff going on. At the end of it I was pretty much broken and suicidal. In August I hit rock bottom. Then I started to heal. Now, I've started to enjoy life again. I've...
A. 28 February 2011: Are you ready for a relationship?
That's the question you really need to ask yourself. If you aren't sure, then maybe wait and stay just friends for a bit until you are ready.
You've checked this guy out with other people and he seems to be a... (read in full...)
I thought we had a connection..and I have a girlfriend already..
Q. Hello people Just need your opinion. I have only worked at my new place for 5 weeks, it's a big retail store. In the last few weeks I have been speaking and really flirting with a girl there. She works in a different part of the store from...
A. 28 February 2011: So...you fancy her just because you make eye contact occasionally or because you've talked to her? She probably found out you have a girlfriend and is embarassed for flirting with you. ... (read in full...)
Why do men like to finger women?
Q. I am just curious why guys like to finger their girlfriend? Do they get any pleasure beside her returning him a favour like a bj?...
A. 27 February 2011: My boyfriend loves doing it because he likes making me feel good. Often it turns people on to turn on their partners. I love to give my boyfriend head for just that reason!
Another thing that varies from relationship to relationship is that he ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is going to prom with someone else!
Q. Hey guys, I am sort of in a dilemma. I am in highschool and I have a girlfriend of about 6 months. We both really like each other, talk everyday, and just generally feel really relaxed and comfortable around each other. But now, as the time for prom ...
A. 27 February 2011: Why don't your girlfriend's parents know about your relationship? You guys have been together for a very long time to be keeping that sort of thing a secret. What's going on here?
Of course they are setting things up if they think that she is s... (read in full...)
He has a fiance, 4 kids and wants to sleep with me. Is it wrong?
Q. I met a guy online 3 months ago. I found out three weeks after we met, through FaceBook, that he has a "fiance," four kids and she's pregnant again. When I confronted him about it, he didn't deny it, however never speaks on it. And demands I don't ...
A. 27 February 2011: I wouldn't send her anything. Like I said, don't get involved in all that drama. Just let it be their problem and not yours... (read in full...)
His brother is trying to sabotoge our relationship!
Q. I love my boyfriend very much and is very much serious about him. I know that very well that his brother doesn't like our commitment. Recently I came to know the reason behind this hatred, his brother liked me before. But I accepted my boyfriend's ...
A. 27 February 2011: This is very very sticky. You need to have a talk with your fiance's brother. Be calm and respectful, and try to help him understand that you love his brother with your whole heart, and if he takes you away from his brother, he'll be hurting his own ... (read in full...)
He has a fiance, 4 kids and wants to sleep with me. Is it wrong?
Q. I met a guy online 3 months ago. I found out three weeks after we met, through FaceBook, that he has a "fiance," four kids and she's pregnant again. When I confronted him about it, he didn't deny it, however never speaks on it. And demands I don't ...
A. 26 February 2011: Yes, you would, and you know it. Don't settle for being the other woman. This guy might be marrying this woman because he's gotten her pregnant (repeatedly) and he's looking for outlets with less commitment. Tell him to take a hike and ignore his ... (read in full...)
I got upset, and confronted my new friends in a fit of anger. Now I don't have have any friends. Did I do the right thing?
Q. I’m new at a school, and I’m trying to get into a relationship with a girl. Every time I’m with her, my friends would come and interrupt the conversation. This happened quite a few times and I kept the anger bottled up. I have a short temper, so ...
A. 26 February 2011: You didn't do the wrong thing by getting angry or confronting them, but you confronted them all wrong. Did you even give them the benefit of the doubt and start by calmly talking to them about it? Had you ever indicated that you wanted to be left ... (read in full...)
I don't enjoy sex with him
Q. I have been dating a guy of 37 for two years. We are very different in that I'm outgoing and sociable whereas he is shy and an introvert. For that reason I tend to socialize with family and friends alone. I find that lately I am getting bored in his ...
A. 26 February 2011: He really doesn't seem like the guy for you. Break it off (nicely) and go out on some casual dates without getting serious. Slowly work yourself up to actually having a relationship, if that's what you desire.
If youre bored and unsatisf... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has gone off on a vacation with his ex wife and kids, does he love her more?
Q. I don't think that I'm being unreasonable that I'm fairly annoyed that my partner, the guy who says he loves me.. has just gone away for a few days away with his ex wife and kids. Staying in a hotel in a family room! Last year I begged him to go aw...
A. 26 February 2011: He may not be over his ex wife. If he married and had children with the woman, one could see how this would be possible. When he comes back, you two need to have a discussion where you bring up this concern calmly and talk it out. I'm thinking this ... (read in full...)
My ex gave his friend my number? Why would he do this? Help!
Q. I asked a question yesterday about how my ex had a way of coming into my life again after our breakups, since we have been on and off for a year. Well we haven't talked for a month since our breakup, but this morning I woke up and had a text from ...
A. 26 February 2011: I agree with GeeGee. I know you're still hurting, but have ZERO contact with either of these dingleberries and find a guy who will treat you right. You said you were "off again on again". Stop letting your ex use you. That is why he gave this oth... (read in full...)
Is it too soon to perform oral sex on the guy I'm dating?
Q. Hi. I've been dating this guy for a month now (have known him for almost 4 months) and so far things have gone rly well. He got me a heartshaped cookie and took me out to dinner on Valentines Day, he constantly tells me how beautiful I am and how ...
A. 26 February 2011: Have the exclusivity talk tonight, and then if it is exculsive, give him head next time. I think that's what youre most worried about.
If you don't think youre ready yet, he really doesn't seem to mind you taking your time, so don't make pressuri... (read in full...)
First Time Blues
Q. I lost my virginity when I was 16 years old to a guy who, granted, was a nice guy, but he wasn't anything more than that. I had been waiting and hoping for that moment since the beginning of high school, even before my first kiss. After it finally ...
A. 26 February 2011: Thank you :)... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't make me feel beautiful
Q. My boyfriend does not make me feel beautiful at all. So get this, I'm 5'4, thin, busty, olive skin and I have long black hair. Girls and guys tell me all the time that I'm beautiful and hot. I used to feel so secure but now I feel ugly all the ...
A. 25 February 2011: Break up with him. He sounds like a jack ass, and he may possibly be trying to get you to break up with him because he doesn't have the cajones to do it himself. Don't change your style or who you are for any one. Find someone who likes that person. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't make me feel beautiful
Q. My boyfriend does not make me feel beautiful at all. So get this, I'm 5'4, thin, busty, olive skin and I have long black hair. Girls and guys tell me all the time that I'm beautiful and hot. I used to feel so secure but now I feel ugly all the ...
A. 25 February 2011: Break up with him. He sounds like a jack ass, and he may possibly be trying to get you to break up with him because he doesn't have the cajones to do it himself. Don't change your style or who you are for any one. Find someone who likes that person. ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and pregnant - what will happen to my child, and the father?
Q. I'm 14 and pregnant and i'm not getting rid of it, but if I don't what will happen to the father of my child?, and would social services take it off me? ...
A. 25 February 2011: Oh hunny. You should have used protection. Hopefully you will in the future.
You can put the baby up for adoption, if that's what you mean by social services "taking it off you". You say the boy is 14 yrs old, so both of you are under the lega... (read in full...)
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