A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I love a very good female friend of mine. We did not know each other two years ago, She has changed my life completely : taught me how to be a nice and normal person. Before that I was just a person who has barely any emotions. I love her a lot but she only treats me a friend. She has told me that she just can't feel the way i want her too. she just can't and she is sorry for what is happening to me. This is clearly understandable.I had tred all methods to forget her such as cold turkey and demonizing her. We still talk to each other and she knows how I feel.Whenever she is really down, I am somehow always there to support her, which is weird. I do care about her alot. When she got dump by her boyfriend, I was there for her. Moreover, I was the only one who warned her that her boyfriend is using her.I am seriously torned. I really love her and pray to have her but at the sametime I am also keep telling myself to forget her. I know it doesn't make sense.I have ran out of solutions. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for you extremely valuable advise. i really appreciate your help.
A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (18 March 2011):
 So you want to exercise the demon from the one that made you feel complete. Serious conflict here.
It may suck that she doesn't want you. Which is why you hang on for conformation, validation.
Take that new good you and put all that towards a new lover.
She gave you the tools, hoe your own row.
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy  +, writes (18 March 2011):
 I understand, iunderstand, I understand!! Everyone experiences this at some point in their lives. It hurts so very much, and I feel your pain.
Trying to develop negative feelings for her is not going to work. You aren't going to be able to keep her in a hellish light because you don't truly believe she is a bad person. What I would suggest is that you try to transform your feeling of love into those of friendship. Every time you feel them swelling up, mentally tell yourself no, and gently push them back down. Over time, they should slow and ebb.
Also, if she is leading you on, even unintentionally, you need to talk to her about it or distance yourself from the conversation.
I know it hurts, but you need to stop being her crying shoulder. For your own health and well being, you need to start distancing yourself from her. Don't cut her out of your life necessarily but make her a smaller part of it.
Start casually dating other girls to show yourself that there are many wonderful ladies out there. You sound like a really good guy, so go for girls that will respect and cherish that, not girls who won't. Unfortunately, a lot of girls are too immature to realize the gift of a nice guy, but they are out here, and they are awesome! You might find a lady who can love you back in the way that you need to be loved.
Best of luck!
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