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age
36-40,
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writes: i cant believe im doing this, but here goes. Well, when i was 5, my dad was an alcoholic. He killed himself after he killed my mom. A year after the funeral i was adopted. I guess my childhood memories made me who i am right now. Im an alcoholic, im depressed and angry. I dont get along with people including my parents who are not really my parents. i think the only person who loves me is my sweet little sister, although im not her real brother but she's the only one who understands me and she respects me and treats me like her own brother. But not until what happened. Last week i was really drunk that when i got home i accidently slept at my sister's bed. She woke up, turned the lights on, then she puts her soft hand at my big ugly face and asked me if i was ok. I didnt know what i was thinking at that time.... I looked at her blue eyes. And i couldnt stop myself from kissing her. Im a horrible person. She pushed me and cried 'i hate you! Get out!' i tried to apologise to her many times and wanted to explain, but she wont talk to me. I know she still loves me and still wants me to be her brother because she didnt tell her parents about what happened. i tried to talk to her but she ignore me! I really regret from what i have done to her! I want nothing more than to be loved by my baby sister, i want to hold her, i love her to death! I'd burn in hell to keep her safe! She's all i have left... Im sorry ok!!! Please give your brother a chance!!! Come back to me!! I've suffered a lot... And you're the one that heal my pain...i'd die for u! Forgive me!! Please forgive me!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009): Obviously she is shocked and upset about what happened. Give her time and get yourself some help. It seems very clear that you are still traumatized from what happened to your parents. The kiss I feel showed that you deeply love your sister and it just came out the wrong way in your drunken moment.
A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (15 July 2009):
 she obviously is shocked and disapointed by what happened.
i think saying sorry isnt enough, u need to start making changes in your life, becoz going down this route of hell wont help you.
u shud use your sister as a inspiration to move towards better things, least u have her, some people have nobody.
show her u can change your life around and in time if she loves u as u say she will forgive u.
good luck!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (15 July 2009):
 Start attending AA meetings. Maybe once she sees you are trying to get your life under control and are off the sauce, she will forgive you.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (15 July 2009):
 What happened to your parents, I can't think of anything that is really more traumatic on a young person. What forms of therapy have you had over the years?
If this recently happened, you might need to give her some time to sort this out, and be angry. When you do get a chance to talk to her, it's not going to be about you and what you did, but her and how she feels. Saying sorry is okay, but not if you don't understand how this affected her.
If you're not in counseling now, I highly recommend it. Your life is too important than to live the rest in the painful state you've been in. I also recommend seeking on who is a trauma specialist, or practices NLP (neurolinguistics programming). NLP works a lot with phobias and pain caused by traumatic experiences. It's time for you to take control over your well being, instead of letting what's happened in the past dictate who you are or who you'll become.
With your sister, I'd recommend giving some cool off time. When your able to talk to her, remember the two ears and one mouth saying, so you are to listen twice as much as you talk. Such as "I know what I did hurt you. Let me have it, and tell me how you feel." Don't try to justify why it happened, just try to understand her. After understanding her, it's okay to let her know how embarrassed and sickened you were by your actions. But never say "I did this because..." That's making an excuse and won't heal your relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): You might try sending her a link to this question.
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