A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating this guy for about 6 months now, he lives with his older brother while I live at home with my parents. He is really good when it comes to calling me everyday to tell me what he's doing. He tells me that he loves me but that he also needs to spend time with his brother (including his brother's friends), and that really bothers me. All I want to do is spend time with him, and when he has plans, I feel like if my wrold crushes.... Am I too sensitive? possessive? what's wrong with me???!!!
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female
reader, luckystar +, writes (18 November 2009):
THANX GUYS!!!!!!!!!!
I posted this before I created an account.....
Thanx for ur advice!!!!... a quick update...
When I wrote this question out, I left a huge chunck of info out... and that is that he smokes every single day and all I wanted was to keep him away from his friends and brother who are in the same hole, and have done absolutely nothing with their lives... He's now my ex... I decided to break up with him because I'm in graduate school and deserve much better... don't get me wrong hes a great guy and comes from a good family... but hey things happen for a reason! xoxo
A
female
reader, TheAgonyAunt  +, writes (12 July 2009):
 I feel like this quite alot, its natural.
But you really need to give him space to see his friends/family. I know it can be hard to let him but you have to or your relationship won't work, trust me from personal experience, my current relationship almost broke down because he just saw me all the time and didnt do anything else.
Trust me, most guys like their space and arent as dependant on their partner as girls are, so you need to let him have some.
If you dont you and him will probably start arguing and the relationship may brake down..
Trust me.
Hope this helps :)
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A
female
reader, Rachel O +, writes (11 July 2009):
 Your exactly like me!
You do need to give him space, otherwise he may start to feel fed up of you, which you obv dont want that!
You will loose friends if you spend your time just with your boyfriend and not them beacuse they will think you just cant be bothered with them, this happened to me,
You also need to be careful if you split up and then you wont have any friends to support you though it beavuse they may feel used.
Your life shouldnt revolve around him beacuse he could leave in the future, and it will make it really hard for you if this does happen!
You obv sound like you adore him! (:
Good Luck hun (: x
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A
female
reader, DanniBaby +, writes (11 July 2009):
It's perfectly normal to want to spend all the time in the world with the person you love. However realistically this isn't always possible.
If you've only been with your boyfriend for 6 months and he's told you that he wants to spend time with his brother and friends you will have to let him unless you want to destroy your relationship.
He needs to have his own space, as do you.
If you tell him that you don't want him to spend time with his family and friends he will just think you are being over possesive and will probably end up hating you in the end for asking him to choose between you and his family.
Once you've been together a little longer why don't you suggest to him that you could try living together. That way you will see each other a lot more and therefore you will be able to spend more time with each other than you did before.
Why don't you also try spending time with your own mates and family, this way you won't be sat around bored and wondering what your boyfriend is getting up to.
Good luck X
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A
male
reader, Theguynextdoor  +, writes (11 July 2009):
Hey.. i know EXACTLY how u feel. I mean i love havin a good time with my friends and family but all i wanna do is be with and phone my girlfriend and i wish she could be like that towards me as well cos she can go days without talkin to me but a can hardly go one day... All u gotta do is not make this guy your whole world. almost try force yourself to be with other people and do other things and this will help with it because then when u do see him ull love it even more :)
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (11 July 2009):
Yes, baby duck is right. If you spend 24/7 with him or want to, you're going to appear needy to him. Men like women that can be independent and not dependent on them to make them happy. I think you should make plans with your friends and family and spend time with them. Your whole life shouldn't revolve around your boyfriend or the relationship. It's just a part of your life, not your whole life.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (11 July 2009):
Why don't you want to spend time with YOUR friends and family?
You may be obsessing over this guy and that is not healthy.
He can be a HUGE part of your life but he should never be ALL of it.
Go out with your mates, do something you enjoy on your own. Don't lose your own personality!
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (11 July 2009):
 There is nothing wrong with you, you love him a lot and you want to be with him. BUT yes you are being too possessive and you need to give him some space otherwise you will drive him away from you. Find some alternative things to do with your own time.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (11 July 2009):
 yes my dear u are too possessive and sensitive.
a healthy relationship is one which he gives u time, and he gives his friend/family/ time.
its only fair.
u cant expect him to be with u 24/7 and not have a life of his own.
if he makes plans and u cant be there, dont let ur world crash down becoz of it, u have to be strong, life will throw many tests ur way and u have to be strong!
if u truly love him, let him go and do the things he wants to do, u will find he will love u more for it.
good luck!
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