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... Send *erinity a private message | | | *erinity's profile:I am a 32 year old female and I live in Virginia. I grew up as a military brat and I was in the Navy for 3 years, so I never really grew up in one particular area. I am open, honest and quite versitile because of my background. I have been through MANY different situations, both good and bad. I never really had anyone to talk to or to give me advice through all of the situations I've been through. So I've had to learn a lot on my own and I've learned a lot. I enjoy offering advise based on things I've learned along the way and particularly situations that I can relate to. I'm a people pleaser so I love helping people in any way that I'm able to. I especially enjoy helping teens because I know that if I had someone to explain things to me and offer me advise when I was a teen then I would have made it though a lot of situations without enduring as much pain and sorrow as I did. But they made me strong and I don't regret that part of it. If I can save one life, then I've done well. If I can help save more, then I can rest in peace when it's my time to go. God bless everyone! |
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Is it wrong to occasionally use porn?
Q. I met my wife 10 years and married for 2. I love deeply and think she is one of the most attractive women that I have ever seen. Occasionally I watch porn.By occasionally I mean I may not watch it for a few months then I may watch it say 3 or 4 tim...
A. 11 December 2007: O.K. here it goes. It's not bad to watch porn as long as your wife doesn't mind. Doing it behind her back is what is unacceptable. Hiding something from your spouse is bad enough, but being caught is even worse. Once the trust factor is broken, ... (read in full...)
Why do I think no-one is good enough?
Q. Recently i've been through a break-up. And everytime i meet a new guy i compare him to my ex. So i dont know the good guys from the bad. Why is this happening? Why can i just get over my ex? And when i compare any guy to him, i think none of them ...
A. 11 December 2007: That's actually quite natural and more common than you can imagine. The only thing that really helps in this situation is time. If your break is recent then give yourself time to get over him, there is no need to run out and find somebody new ... (read in full...)
Is this the way most women act?
Q. Hi , i've been with my girlfriend for 8 and a half months now, and i really love her, i really do. She says she loves me but its hard to truly believe that because of the way she acts towards me, and she has gone on a break twice because she's said ...
A. 10 December 2007: That's the way most GIRLS act when they are confused about their feelings. So, in a sense she's at least being honest with you when she says she's confused about her feelings toward you. You guys are still young and love is new for you right now. ... (read in full...)
Do you think my boyfriend is sulking?
Q. PLease help me. IS my boyfriend sullking? We have been dating for 2 months and he has been sleeping over and spending time with me and my 3 kids, 67a=nd 13. They love him already and they have a lot of fun. Just one thing bothers me, he drinks m...
A. 10 December 2007: Sorry dear, but I think the answer is pretty obvious, and not because he's not calling you back, but because of the fact that you have children and he has already been verbally abusive to you. Look, you may love him now, but it's only going to get ... (read in full...)
How can I make my teeth whiter?
Q. Hey i was wondering if anyone has any tips for getting whiter teeth ? thanks x...
A. 10 December 2007: I would say, start at the dentist. They can clean your teeth and get them whiter and you can maintain white teeth by brusing twice a day and occasionally using the whitining strips. If you smoke or drink coffee/soda I would clean them more often.... (read in full...)
Our problem is that he is constantly telling me that he would have sex with this or that woman.
Q. hi there can someone give me some advice please? I am on a relationship with a younger man and my problem is that he is constantly telling me that he would have sex with this or that woman. I make excuses for him telling myself that this...
A. 10 December 2007: I would tell him that it's disrespecrful and degrading to you and you would appreciate it if he would stop. If he does it again after you ask him politely to stop, then I would cut him off from all sexual activities and I would tell him that when he ... (read in full...)
My wife's past hurts me deeply
Q. I met my current wife of 2 yrs when we were just barely old enough to get a drivers license. I was into her right away. In fact she was the first girl I had ever asked on a date. I was 16 and she was 15 (and a few months shy of 16). She shot me down ...
A. 5 December 2007: You're so cute. However, the past is the past, you may not have known everything about her past before you got married but it was quite obvious that she was no angel and she had many relations prior to you, and that you did know. I think it's so ... (read in full...)
What other 'little things' can I do to be romantic?
Q. Hello Im the first to admit Im terrible at being romantic, but I try. My girlfriend says I need to be more romantic, but I dont get what she is asking for. I take her flowers now and then, chocolates, leave little notes etc. We stay in o...
A. 31 October 2007: Wow! From a womans prospective, I don't get it either. Does she ever do "little things" for you? I commend your efforts for as much as you do for her and I'm sorry that she doesn't appreciate it more. Seeing as you are already doing things to ... (read in full...)
Do I stay with the security of my current lifestyle or take a gamble with this new woman?
Q. I have been living with my girlfriend for 6 years the last few of which have been fairly miserable. I haven't felt able to be myself around her anymore and she doesn't bring out the best in me. But despite that I feel her loyalty, depth of feelings ...
A. 26 October 2007: I think blue angel nailed it on the head, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. It's easier for someone new to make you feel alive and all tingly inside again, because it's new. I'm sure you had the same feelings when you fell in love ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and involved with 2 guys and a girl and still feel the need for more!
Q. hey you guys...I am in serious trouble. I am a 16 year old girl and I am currently involved with 2 guys and a girl. I have a problem where I am always looking for more heat and I will go to any measures to get it. One of the men is 47 and happens to ...
A. 26 October 2007: What is possible that you need ONE lover and some counsiling. Was your father in your life when you were growing up? If so, did he ever give you any attention? If you truley love someone, it only takes that one person to fulfill your wants and ... (read in full...)
I feel so isolated taking care of my disabled girlfriend
Q. e was my girl friend 20 years ago, she went into hospital to have her womb removed because of being in a bad state, after op she got a virus that attacked her system, and disabled her, over the last 19 years i have looked after her every day and ...
A. 20 October 2007: Well, I think it's very noble of you to dedicate yourself to taking care of her. She obviously needs you very much if she doesn't have any family. I can completely understand your feelings of lonliness at the same time. Can't you have people over ... (read in full...)
My mother commited suicide, My fiance just ditched me - and he tells me to learn to love myself?
Q. Me and my fiancé just recently broke up. We were together for four years. He said that I need to be on my own and deal with things from my past. That he was exhausted because he felt as if he had been living for two people for the past four years. I ...
A. 19 October 2007: God bless you child. The pain you've suffered, the pain that has been dealt, can only be resolved by the word of God. Seek him, learn his ways, love him, worship him and I promise you..... the answers will come. The relief will come, the power to ... (read in full...)
Married to an alcoholic. Can you please advise me?
Q. Hello, I'm a wife of an acolholic husband and would like some advice other than my family and friends as sometimes I think they tell you what you want to hear. We met when I was 21 and he was 33. I was a bartender and thats where I met him. He was a ...
A. 17 October 2007: Boy oh boy can I relate to this one. Your story sounds almost identical to mine. When me and my husband met I was 24 and he was 22. We used to both drink and party a bit so I didn't see the signs of his alcoholism. Once I got pregnant naturally, ... (read in full...)
How could I love him so much one month then the next month, feel..differently
Q. theres this guy at my school.. ive just recently joined this new school after giving birth to my son i felt i should start fresh and new so, this boy no one at this new school noes i have a son (in case of bullying and stuff) and me and this ...
A. 14 October 2007: Sweethart, you're very young. But having children (at any age) makes us grow up a little faster than those who don't. You have a child now, so naturally you have someone else's intrests to look out for. Once you have a child, they should ALWAYS ... (read in full...)
We were happy until I found out about my fiance's secret affair with my mother.
Q. I just found out that my fiancee who I have been with for 8 years and have a 3 month old son with had an affair with my mother. She told me a couple of days ago, she said that it happened about 2 years ago. A month before he proposed to me actually...
A. 10 October 2007: Wow, that's a hard pill to swallow. To be betrayed by the two people who should love and care for you the most must be very painful. The advice I am going to give is strictly my optinion, you should consider all the advice that's been given and ... (read in full...)
Should I answer the phone and tell her why I don't want to have anything to do with her?
Q. I recently ended my relationship with my now ex of 2 years due to the ridiculous amount of problems that we faced. She was extremely demanding and always threatened to end our relationship if she didn't get her way. She would endlessly compla...
A. 10 October 2007: Well, it's been 3 months, I think she should get the point by now. Personally, I don't think you "owe" her an explaination considering the damage she's caused, however, if you want her to stop calling so you can both move on with your lives, then I ... (read in full...)
My gf always tries to make me jealous and her behavior gets me so angry! What can I do?
Q. I have been going out for the last 10 months and I am quite fine with my girl. We are really commited and all, but the only thing that bother me is that she always tries to make me jealous all the time. I get really pissed. The more I ask her not to ...
A. 3 October 2007: Try your best to confine your jealousy. I know it's not easy, but your giving her exactly what she wants. She is minipulating you to get your attention and a reaction which (in her mind) confirms that you really do love her. It's not the best way ... (read in full...)
I don't find traditionaly beautiful women attractive. Whats so wrong with that?
Q. I am a college student in a long term relationship with a beautiful girl... we've been together for around 4 years now. I would like some feedback for a situation that so far I have found unique to me. I have had other girlfriends before her but s...
A. 2 October 2007: I don't think there is anything wrong with you. As a matter of fact, I think I speak for many women when I say it would be nice if there were more men out there like you. You said your girlfriend is beautiful and that you are very attracted to her ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my husband after he got physical and abusive infront of his 4 yr old son?
Q. I have been married for four and a half years,together five. One of our strong points has always been hanging out,laughing,talking,etc.Lately we don't do any of those. He spends time with a variety of people,but I'm always his last pick.We got into ...
A. 1 October 2007: I've been going through the same thing and I really feel for you because this is a very delicate situation. The first reaction is to feel hurt because here is a man you love and whom you've committed your life to by marraige because you love him ... (read in full...)
My abusive, alcoholic husband is making me out to be the bad guy! I'm at a loss, any help?
Q. I just don't understand him anymore. I've have posted several questions pertaining to my relationship with my husband who is an alcoholic and has become verbally and physically abusive over the past 2 years. I have received some great advice and I ...
A. 28 September 2007: You guys are right. I don't know why I keep questioning myself on this. If it were me giving someone else advice on this situation I would be saying the same things. I suppose when "your" the one who is actually going through the experience you ... (read in full...)
We have plans to move, but I have my doubts b/c of past troubles in our relationship! Should I still go?
Q. hey i was just asking for help because me and this boy have been going out for a little over 11 months and we planned on moving to Virginia to live there with his brother. But now i have my doubts about going i think i am scared but in away i want ...
A. 28 September 2007: I would go with your heart on this one. If you are having any doubts, don't do it. See, if you are having problems in your relationship now and you move with him to Virginia, (where he has family and friends) then he will feel like he has the ... (read in full...)
Fidelity and marriage
Q. Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
A. 28 September 2007: That is very good advice. I have a question for you though. What about in a situation where one of the parties is an alcoholic and has become controlling and verbally and physically abusive? Do you keep trying after two years? Two years of ... (read in full...)
Do I go back to my abusive, alcoholic husband or stay away?
Q. I've been seeking advise as to how I should handle my situation. My husband is an alcoholic and over the past two years has become verbally and physically abusive, not to mention controlling. The majority of advice I have received is to leave him ...
A. 27 September 2007: Thank you all so much for the advice. It really helps to keep me grounded. I just want an outside option to know that I'm doing the right thing. Is anyone familiar with the covenant of marraige? Am I committing a sin by leaving my marriage under ... (read in full...)
Should I let my son's father have contact with his child? I fear he'll mess with our baby's head like he's messed with mine!
Q. Hey, so.. my son is nearly 2months old, hes 1month 18 days, and all of a sudden the father has tryed to get in contact.. he put me through complete hell while i was pregnant with riley (my son) we are still very young, but his actions were really ...
A. 26 September 2007: This is a tough situation sweetie and I feel for you. Since he is young and immature I would definitely start with supervisd visitation, and by that I mean supervised by someone other than just you. Somebody with some authority, someone who can ... (read in full...)
I don't want to throw our love away because of unsatisfied curiosity, SO would it be wrong to allow her to be with other men, if she tells me beforehand?
Q. My Girlfriend and I have been together for a year, we really love eachother. I am quiet sexually experienced, she on the other hand was a virgin before me. I ask her if she feels like she needs to find out what sex with other ppl is like, she say...
A. 26 September 2007: Gosh NO! I can tell you from experience. Trust me, just because she was a virgin when you met does not mean that she needs to experience sex with someone else. This will only complicate things and she will begin to negotiate her feelings for you. ... (read in full...)
Could my son be gay? He has an odd friendship with a (much) older man...
Q. My 17 year old son has befriended a 58 year old man. He visits him every week and stays all day says he has a bbq and a few drinks. He says he finds he can talk to the man easier than talking to me or his mother. He receives a lot of gifts some exp...
A. 25 September 2007: I would be concerned, but I would be cautious as to how you handle this. Yes, it does seem very odd that he is spending so much time with this older man and receiving gifts. For some reason he has bonded with this man and as adults we assume the ... (read in full...)
I have lost my daughter and grandchildren forever because the boyfriend controls her! Help!
Q. my daughter quit talking to me. how can i repair our relationship? it was over her relationship with her boyfriend of ten years. please help! my daughter won't even give me her phone number. i know her boyfriend is behind of all of this. when she ...
A. 24 September 2007: This is a very difficult situation and something I've learned about receiveing advice, is that it's always "easier said then done". If I were you, I'd give her some space. I would also write a letter just to let her know how much you love her and ... (read in full...)
He says he isnt gay but we had sex in a hotel! How can I make him feel the same for me?
Q. heres the thing, im gay he's str8, we chatted online and felt very connected, one day we meet up and talk talk talk and we were so close, he is not bisexual for sure, he doesnt like guys at all, so we check in a hotel coz we were so tired to go home ...
A. 20 September 2007: You are still young, there are plenty of guys out there who have the same preferences as you do. I do believe that a completely straight guy can engage in this type of sexual activity and still remain completely straight. Something I've learned ... (read in full...)
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