A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi , i've been with my girlfriend for 8 and a half months now, and i really love her, i really do. She says she loves me but its hard to truly believe that because of the way she acts towards me, and she has gone on a break twice because she's said shes confused about her feelings for me. She's just not loving towards me and i feel if i wasnt to try nothing would happen. For me i'd spend every second of the day with her and i cant go even one day without speaking to her, but for her it doesnt seem to bother her and she can easily go a few days without any consern. I just need to know if she really does love me, and is this the way most women act? its like she doesnt care sometimes and i cant just switch off my feelings like it seems she's able to.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): Hye im the guy that wrote the question, and i didnt no how to thank you guys any other way, but thanks so much for your help:)
it really did help.. especially the person who gave it from their perspective (although it took me about 12 hours to read lol) but thanks alot for your time and advice :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007): First off, I'm not condoning her actions at all, merely stating my experience and maybe some advice.This sounds exactly like what I'd been going through with my boyfriend. I never lost the feeling that I loved him, something just wasn't clicking to make me feel I needed to pursure him. For some reason I avoided affection, I never intended to hurt his feelings and most of the time I didn't even realize I was doing it. So you may want to bring it to her attention, ask her if something's been going on, or if there's something you can do.I would definitely bring it up soon. My boyfriend and I had to endure a month or 2 of unecessary discomfort. I just needed time to figure out what was going on and why I was acting that way. I'd believe her when she says it's confusion, I can't fully describe how it felt or why it came about. Maybe suggesting some instances that might have brought it up, or how you could fix it could help. The most important thing is to be completely honest and hold nothign back, both of you, to make sure all is known and so you can find a solution.With a break, though, you need to make sure there is a POINT. When I finally asked for one I was relieved he finally knew fully what was going on. I had to have in my mind my goal, what is it that I want from this, and he had to know what role he should play.I'm supposing my case is extreme as I showed an abrupt change that surprised him and me in the following week. Our break consisted of acting as friends, still hanging out, just less formal and less pressure. But after a week of that we're happier than ever together.Summary: Let her know what's going on, and tell her to be honest with you. Establish what it is she or you are looking for. Take the pressure off for a bit, and see where that takes you.I do hope this helps you. Her thought process and actions sound similar to mine, so I'm sure you all will be fine.Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007): I took space away from my bf before, but I missed him. We missed each other. Idk what's going on with her. I don't know all women, but I wouldn't say this is the way that most women act.
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (10 December 2007):
 I think the pair of you need to find a good moment and sit down and discuss where this relationship is really heading, and where you stand at the moment. This is not the way most woman act, unless she is going through some major stress in her life, or she has fallen out of love with you. You can't go on like this, so ultimately you have got to speak to her sooner rather than later, the longer you leave it the harder it will get. Ask her outright what her feelings are for you, at least this way there will be no messing around and you will know what's going on.
All the best of luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007): There is a BIG difference between LOVING someone and IN LOVE with someone. Maybe your gf does love you but may not exactly be in love with you as much as you are with her. People express their love differently than others. If she has asked for a break twice than obviously theres some confusion on what she feels for you. I wouldnt say all woman act like this because this can happen to anyone. She may love you but not in love with you.
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A
female
reader, Serinity  +, writes (10 December 2007):
 That's the way most GIRLS act when they are confused about their feelings. So, in a sense she's at least being honest with you when she says she's confused about her feelings toward you. You guys are still young and love is new for you right now. I wouldn't force or rush anything. If you do, she may feel pressured and even more confused and that may push her away. Just give her time to sort her feelings and be understanding and you'll probably be surprised to her reaction. To answer your question, no, I don't think WOMEN just act like that. Women are normally experienced enough to sort our feelings and be truthful about them. Normally if we are confused about our feelings for someone we are able to detach ourselves from the relationship long enough to figure them out. Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007): Everything in life needs some space. If anything in nature grows to close to each other they die. If you truely love her. Dont just think about yourself, think about her and everyone around you. If you change your attitude and become more alive. She will notice it, and you will notice the change. Be her friend show her that you care. respect her.
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