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| | jabey's profile:Im a 37year old nurse. Who has been through realtionships. Aswell as a marriage. I am no more qualified than anyone to help with problems, but if a few of my words can comfort someone and help them a little, then that makes my day. WE all need to share when we have a worry or concern, I need that too.
I am in afairly new relationship, hope that I can get it right this time. Probably with the help from people on this site. |
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She seems clingy! So I am questioning whether I truely love her?? Any advice?
Q. Hi, I have lived with my girlfriend for nearly 1 year now having moved in with her after about 4 months although this feels alot longer as I have spent more or less every day with her. Ever since I've moved in she seems to want to spend every minu...
A. 26 June 2008: when living with someone alot of the excitment, mystery etc fades. I think you have reached this point. I do think from what you are saying is that you are being very reasonable by giving up some of your hobbies to accomadate her needs. Although I ... (read in full...)
Which one of these men from a dating site, should I choose?
Q. Two gentlemen from dating sites which i'm very interested one is an economist, so sweet, the other is retired, and just the kind of man i always wanted. Both express their desire for me. I will meet them both, yet I dont want to lead them on. I live ...
A. 26 June 2008: relax, meet them both. When you meet them you then can choose as to whether there is one you prefer or not, thats the whole point of a dating site, is to meet new people and then choose if you wish to go further than friendship.
You are only... (read in full...)
Do all guys get grossed out by kissing their partner after she gives you head?
Q. okay i have a question for all of you guys out there (girls feel free to answer if youve been in this situation). okay do all guys get grossed out by kissing thier partner after she gives you head? my boy friend doesnt want to kiss me after ive ...
A. 22 May 2008: dont worry, a lot of men are not to keen on tasting their own sperm, i think this is quite natural for some. I|n sex we must always respect someones feelings, not everyone is the same. Y|ou say you expect a reward as in kissing after giving head. ... (read in full...)
My family is happy for me, but my boyfriend is freaking out and hasn't told his parents I'm pregnant!
Q. I am 21 years old and I just found out I'm pregnant. My family is happy for me, but my boyfriend, who is 20 is freaking out. He won't tell his parents because he's scared of their reaction. Is there anything I can do to help him with this? ...
A. 22 May 2008: i suggest dont push him into telling his parents yet. Explain to him that you are there for him, and encourage him to face his fear. H|e will tell them when he feels ready and pressure from you will make him feel worse. T|ell him you understand how ... (read in full...)
I've been a bit forward with my teacher lately, and now he's backed off! I'm struggling to deal with this.
Q. i have been a bit forward with my teacher lately i sent him an email saying how much he makes me smile and then another email saying how glad i am i have now got to an A grade in history (he teaches me that) saying how great he was and then he ...
A. 22 May 2008: what you do not explain in this mail is whether or not you like this teacher purely in a platonic way, or whether you like him as have feelings for him which go beyond friendship.
Now this teacher I| have to congratulate him really is acti... (read in full...)
Does he like me or am I imagining it?
Q. i really like this guy, and i am looking for signs that he likes me too. i think he does but im scared i am imagining it just because i like him. he is a friendly with my ex so i cant just go on up and ask him, as its too soon my ex still wants me...
A. 22 May 2008: the signs are all there. This guy obviously fancies you.
P|roblem is then you both are connected to your ex. Which may make it hard for this guy to make a move. I suggest you heavily flirt with him and majorly give him the signs you are inte... (read in full...)
Is being 47 kgs and 5 ft 3 inches underweight?
Q. Is being 15 years old, 5ft 3 and 47kgs underweight?...
A. 22 May 2008: you must be pretty petite, im 5ft 3 and weigh 50kg, and I|m quite small. B|ut your fifteen and im 37, so at fifteen I| would say no your not underweight.
You are probally small built and may fill out as you get older.
Y|ou are the only... (read in full...)
Split up - what now?
Q. My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me a few days ago. We recently got engaged (8 weeks ago)and now i don't know what to do. We have been together since school and i always put him first and now i feel i have nothing? I still love him and don't ...
A. 21 May 2008: it is hard to answer not knowing why he broke up with you. |Did he claim he didnt love you anymore? had you had a row?
|I would really need to know what he said to have a clearer perpective on it.
|Now is time to give him some space, a... (read in full...)
33 weeks pregnant with genital warts and SCARED
Q. I was so excited when I first found out that I was pregnant on Nov. 5 of '07. Me and my boyfriend were just so amazed and happy! During my 1st trimester I had a somewhat normal pregnancy everything except the negative RH factor which in the long ...
A. 21 May 2008: i am not 100 per cent but as far as Im a ware genital warts are completely harmless the same as if you had a wart on your hand. There is no problem that they will harm your baby in anyway or you for that matter. A very high per cent of people carry ... (read in full...)
I'm interested in a new guy, but this knock to my self-confidence by the long-distance ex has me doubting things! I don't want to be hurt again!
Q. bit mad here, as Im usually answering the qusestions, btu here goes....Met a guy and we dated for 2 months it was a long distance relaionship, I met him through my friend who was his cousin. Well he started going on about wanted to move down with ...
A. 21 May 2008: thank you girls, on a up date i did all I| could just to relax and enjoy last night. I| must have done ok as he asked to see me again on thurs. B|ut I will contine to be cautious and not think into the future but as you say take each day as it comes ... (read in full...)
We met via on line dating, is it too soon to ask if he has other dates in parallel? We have been intimate already.
Q. I recently met a guy on an on-line dating site. We have been dating for a couple of months and sleeping together as well. Out of curiosity, I went on the site to see when he was last on-line, and it was TODAY. How do I approach him about this? I ...
A. 20 May 2008: after a couple of months and the fact you have slept together. you have every right to ask if you are the only one.
I went out with a guy from the internet, and actually after a month, I to saw he had still been on the site. I asked him a bout... (read in full...)
My 3 year old is masturbating, how should I to handle this? Is it normal?
Q. hi i'm a mom, i have a question if a girl 3 year old she is masturbation herself is normal? if it is what can i do for that, to me is not normal cos she just too baby please somebody help me?...
A. 20 May 2008: i think using the word mastubation, is maybe a little stong. I have three daughters and they all have touched their vaginas, and probably it has felt nice, but at this age that is all they know. Masturbation is a sexual act where someone plays with ... (read in full...)
I need to know if he fancies me or is just being friendly...
Q. i need to know if a guy i know fancies me or is just being friendly. he tickles me he'll talk to me loads he'll randomly text me to ask how my day was he'll laugh at my jokes he teases me he has nicknames for me this might be a sign i'm...
A. 20 May 2008: simple answer to your question, is yes this guy definately fancies you, all the signs are there.
I think if you fancy him to mention it to a mutual friend who could help push him into having the courage to ask you out xxxxx... (read in full...)
He still denys the internet chatting even though I've seen the emails with my own eyes?
Q. please help as i dont know if im making the right choice....i've split up with my boyfriend of 2 years because of lies about money and talking to girls online but i dont know if im making the right decision. he still denys the internet chatting even ...
A. 17 May 2008: well you are very sensible to be airing caution.
Sometimes people dont know what a wonderful thing they have until it is gone, and sounds like your ex has realised this. But as you said is he trustworthy ?
I think I would insist that if ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me to want some answers as to why he chats with other girls on his MSN?
Q. OK, here's the scenario. I've posted a question before about 2 weeks ago about how I think my partner is cheating on me, to which I got some good replies. My question now is connected to this, but its been kind of bothering me. My b/f and I have b...
A. 17 May 2008: oh wow you poor thing.
You have every right to ask him about his chatting to other women. Im afraid in life we cannot control what another person does but we can control what we do and how we react.
The reason you feel fed up is because ... (read in full...)
What do you think the stuff he is doing means?
Q. okay well im having a problem here. my ex seems to show some signs that he likes me, but he has another gf. Idk if he does so im asking this, he gets really red around me and I catch him looking at me and he kept all his myspace comments from me ...
A. 17 May 2008: sounds to me like he has not let go from you.
Who ended the relationship ?
There is no harm in testing the water, by telling him you misss him. This will give you the answers you need, if he recipricates, and tells you he misses y... (read in full...)
He's grieving over a jet plane, don't know if we will get back again....
Q. I am in a desperate situation and need advice. My long distance boyfriend has given me an ultimatum. He moved a long way away after being with me for a year and we have been apart for 9 months. During that time I have only been able to see him ...
A. 17 May 2008: difficult to anwser this question without knowing exactly how far away he is.
Can you go for a week or 2 weeks only ?
If you could then perhaps that would be the compromise, go and have a short holiday with him. This way you will be able ... (read in full...)
OMG!!! Why did I let my friend kiss me?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he makes me really happy, I love him so much. In that time I've had a few men interested in me, and I've never wanted to or felt the need to cheat. However last week my male friend, who I've known for a ...
A. 27 February 2008: these things happen, and yoou know you are happy with your boyfriend. You can be happy and madly in love but it is human, to enjoy being liked by others, and if someone is a good friend it is natural to sometimes show affaection. Ok in this case it ... (read in full...)
I cant commit to anything or anyone!
Q. I cant ccommit to anything or anyone, even when i try to stick to something like a new diet or doing work paperwork i put it off and find somerhing else to do. My ex boyfriend spilt with me because i wouldn't say i loved him, but i did for ages even ...
A. 26 February 2008: when we are young, we often swap and change our minds about things, its normal. Thats how we learn and discover what we really want and learn how to stick to things.
Have a look back over your life, as a child did the adults around you comm... (read in full...)
I feel a need to fix everything, but it doesn't seem to work
Q. Can some one help me? I am totally lost in life. I feel like I must fix the world. I am 25 married and have a career. I am currently separated from my spouse do to my job. I love my career, but again I am not sure if I should be at home wit...
A. 26 February 2008: in life we must sit back and take time out to think, what is it that i want in my life. its ok to do that it is not selfish. You are the only one who knows what it is you would like and how you would like your life to be.
Hey look at you alre... (read in full...)
I unloaded my stress on him, so he broke up with me and started to drink. What now?
Q. I don't know what to do, I am 17 and have been with my boyfriend for 11 months. We have always had a very exciting relationship, with really strong emotions. But last week I was so stressed out and I took it out on him, which I felt so guilty about. ...
A. 25 February 2008: Im afraid perhaps now you should just back off. Dont contact him and let him cool off.
with the space that you provide, hopefully he will decide if he wants you and the ex is in or out.
Any pressure from you and he may react badly. A... (read in full...)
How do you become happy and content without a partner and close friends in your life?
Q. I just want to know, how do u become happy and cotnent without a partner in your life and without close friends? some times i feel very lonely and have tried to meet people but they never stay long. for the past few years i have felt like i've lost ...
A. 25 February 2008: really the happiest people in the world are those who have a close support network, e.g friends and family.
Before you can really form long, true friendships though, you have to be fairly happy within yourself. Have you a job ? and do you enjo... (read in full...)
I felt so hurt, used, betrayed by this man, whose son I gave birth to. There is also another man in my life, whom I actually love but I'm very confused!
Q. Hi, I need some advice, a different insight, well i'm sure you will understand... Well my question is basically who should I choose? You will understand why in a minute... I'm sorry if this long but I have been pondering this decision for som...
A. 25 February 2008: well firstly, i have to tell you you are a very brave lady, you have been through some extremely, turbulaent, and difficult times.
And now I feel the answer is simple, aaron from what I have read in your note has not physically or mentally abus... (read in full...)
Old bf wants me back--what do I do?
Q. what should you do if an old boyfriend wants to get back with you ...
A. 25 February 2008: well if thats how it ended, then sounds like yes give it another shot. although you say he still has feelings, obviously you have to have feelings too. some relationships are fab second time around, you have nothing to loose, go out and get to know ... (read in full...)
I'm torn between two guys that I like. Help!!
Q. I need some help. I'm stuck between two guys I like. One guy is nice and very smart, but only average. I know he likes me. But the other boy is smart and attractive and has a fabulous sense of humor and appreciation of cartoons like I do. The thing ...
A. 22 February 2008: the one you like, why dont you think he likes you/ can you be sure ? Dont lead on the one you dont like make it clear you are not interested, then somehow find out that the one you like is really not interested, if he really is not then yes time to ... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing by telling him she isn't into him?
Q. Hey, I need some opinions on my situation. There's this girl I know who has been getting textx from a boy all the time, and you can tell he likes her. Problem is though, she hates him. He annoys her and she complains about him all the time. For ...
A. 22 February 2008: well i guess you told him this information because you care about him, and also it is to your gain.
No harm done, because at the end of the day if she is being so rude about him, you have saved him alot of humiliation.
so yes now you can ... (read in full...)
If I am wasting my time I have only got another 4 weeks before he leaves the company to have to deal with him and then I can get on with my life.
Q. I came on here a few weeks ago about a bloke from work who seemed to be interested in me - turns out he was. We have now met a couple of times. We have text each other quite a bit with him saying he really enjoyed being around me. Unfortunately ...
A. 22 February 2008: hey relax, the guy still sounds interessted. Did the text means he is not happy bout loosing his job, but is pretending to be ok with it for the boss ????
anywya besides that, all those kisses seem a sign of affection to me. and he has said... (read in full...)
She wants to hang out with her ex, what should I do?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 and a half months and my girl just out of a 3 year relationship and she still wants to hang out with her ex boyfriend every now and then but she tells me she doesnt have feelings for him anymore or anything , ...
A. 22 February 2008: it is possible for people to be friends with their exes, but unfortunately this often causes disharmony in present relationships. its bound to be unnerving for the new partner. personally, i feel if a new partner feels unhappy with this it is ok to ... (read in full...)
What causes people to fall in love?
Q. Hey just curious here but i've always wondered what causes people to fall in love? I've never had a bf before and i like this lad who i'm friends with and these feelings all came on so suddenly about 3 months ago. Its like, oh i don't know, how do ...
A. 22 February 2008: the cause of falling in love I think is personal to each individual. the cause that makes me fall in love, is realising i love spending time with someone, i want to be with them whenever possible, they make me laugh, i trust them, im attracted to ... (read in full...)
Am I being immature and overreacting or should this relationship be ended based on these problems?
Q. Dating question Guy I've been dating for 5 months. 1. He has a son he gets every wkend who I've met, but never get invited when they do things. Doesn't seem too big because it's a new relationship. 2. He works full and part-time as well. I see hi...
A. 22 February 2008: the only thing here is knowing why you both decided to cool things off for a week.
i undersatnd your concerns, at present you do feel excluded froma lot of his life, and he was not honest about the girl being the same one.
I suggest ... (read in full...)
Old bf wants me back--what do I do?
Q. what should you do if an old boyfriend wants to get back with you ...
A. 22 February 2008: why did you split up? do you still like him? do you want to be with him? did he treat you well? did you get along/ ask yourself those questions then make your choice xxx... (read in full...)
I want to propose to her but...
Q. hey, I need some advice from you guys. I think I am in love with this new girl at my work place. Initially when she came, I did not like her because I felt she was a braggish fellow but she proved me wrong, when surprisingly she engaged me in a ...
A. 22 February 2008: hey Im glad we helped you. Im thinking of you.
contact me anytime xxx... (read in full...)
I love him, but I can't leave him! Please help me, I don't know who else to talk to.
Q. Dear I just want your help, because I have nobody to talk about my relationship. So I have been one years and 3 month with my boyfriend, and i gave him all my best and i keep doing that everyday.So during the time,i gave him space to go out all the ...
A. 22 February 2008: it is so painful when you love someone and they do not feel the same way. Of course he still wants you there, its nice to know someone is there for you waiting and ready to take you back whenever you should feel like it. But do you know by always ... (read in full...)
Breakup out of nowhere. Need advice please!
Q. Ok so ive been with the same girl for the last 8 months. We are both in our twenties. I had recently come back from a military deployment and saw her a few times before i left for leave which was about a week. She couldnt come with me because of ...
A. 21 February 2008: leave it a month do not contact her. She may well contact you in this time. after a month call her and by then her emotions will be more settled and she will probably respond.
Calmly talk with her and ask that it would be aprreciated if she ... (read in full...)
He works a lot and I feel neglected. What should I do?
Q. I have been dating this guy for more than 1 yr.. and i was always happy with him. i always felt he treated me good. had some few problems but then no relationship is perfect. for some time though i have been feeling a little insecure about h...
A. 21 February 2008: i agree with how you are feeling, I too beleive if a man really wants you with that intensity he will do anything to see you and be with you.
I feel this man really cares about you, but is not truly in love and a little unsure. Different peop... (read in full...)
He never says "I love you", not even to our daughter.....
Q. Can a marriage survive this way? We've been married for only 5 months, and we have a 10 month old daughter, and I am due again next month. We love eachother, and have known eachother for a long time. The thing is that there is no intimacy in our ...
A. 21 February 2008: sadly, the way you describe your husband, is the same way as I would describe my father.
When someone has been brought up in a family environment where no love or affection is expressed, they then tend to repeat this pattern of behaviour. Espe... (read in full...)
We have small children and tiring jobs, and do not afford a babysitter. How to escape routine?
Q. I think my husband and I are getting burned out on the "daily grind". My husband does hard physical labor and I am an office manager of a busy/fast paced construction company. We have 2 small children so our evenings consist of cooking, cleaning ...
A. 21 February 2008: ive been there. Single mum with 3 children and now in a relationship with my 3 girls there all the time.
i managed to find other couples with the same problem and we occassionally have their children overnight, hence giving them a night free... (read in full...)
I asked her what she thinks of us and she said she lost the spark, but still likes me, only not as much. Any suggestions?
Q. Ok, so I've been in a relationship with this girl for about two and a half months. Everything was going great until a few weeks ago she asked for some space to be with her friends more. I said that's fine, so I gave her plenty of space. About a w...
A. 21 February 2008: yes, we loose the spark when we feel someone is always there and no longer a challenge its all too easy.
If you back off dont ask her how she feels, time to unnerve her abit. at the moment she knows you are always there, and its so easy.
... (read in full...)
I want him back, but does he want me?
Q. Hey I had this ex that I still really like. He broke up with me, because I asked to take a short-break during our relationship and he sayz he wasnt giving 100%, I miss him a lot as he literally was the only guy that was responsible and insp...
A. 21 February 2008: it sounds like he prob was trying to get back with you.
So I suggest you call him and arrange a get to gether to catch up.
Then during this meeting tell him you miss him, and would like to try again, and gage his reaction.
If he does ... (read in full...)
I feel so worthless and humiliated and think it's my fault that he returned to his ex who was giving him a baby. How can I move on?
Q. last year my man left me for the ex who was having his baby. he said it was tha right thing to do. I was devastated. i asked him why he couldt just man up to his responsibilities if he still wanted to be with me and he said no. Do you think he did ...
A. 21 February 2008: before you make any decisions its time for you!!!
Time to nuture yourself love yourself and care about yourself. He has chosen someone else, mainly due to the baby. You are still beautiful, still attractive and still unique, he has not take... (read in full...)
I want to propose to her but...
Q. hey, I need some advice from you guys. I think I am in love with this new girl at my work place. Initially when she came, I did not like her because I felt she was a braggish fellow but she proved me wrong, when surprisingly she engaged me in a ...
A. 20 February 2008: Im afraid to be honest, I have to say slow down.
Falling in love takes time, to love someone you msut spend time together, be intimate, date, really get to know each other. sorry to say, as yet you to two have not had a propoer date.
Now m... (read in full...)
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