A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi im just wondering what everybodys view are on their Partners phones?my bf and I have had a few up and downs over the last two years but recently there has been an issue since he got his iphone. Basically he has a pin block on it, which he says is there in case it gets lost or stolen as he can locate it via his laptop. Problem is when he puts in his pin he shields it from me and when i asked what his pin was he said its none of my business, he even typed the pin in for me when i used his phone to make a phone call. Now i had absolutely no desire to go snooping through his phone but i did start to get suspicious because he wouldn't tell me it. I'd like your opinions based on if you had a phone with a pin would u keep it secret and also if your partner had a pin that you wernt allowed to know how would this make you feel? thank you for listening i look forward to your answers.Regards from Ireland
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2012): I can see everybodys view here it is his privacy of course we need to be able to trust eachother it was just his reaction that threw me, hes texted me his pin we been broken up 2 weeks nearly but hes asking now for my facebook password, he says its the same thing and he wants to log in to make sure its right and im to trust him that he will never log into it even thou he can access it any day or time without me knowing, not the same as his phone which is with him 12 hrs a day
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2012): Honestly, I started doing this when I was thinking about cheating on my ex. I would go out of my way to keep it secret, a weird number he could never guess, and make all the settings so the notifications wouldn't pop up unless it was unlocked. We went from having full access to each others phones after four years of our relationship to all the sudden me
Doing that and then yeah, talking to another guy
Not saying this is what he is doing, but it's something that I would get sketched about.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2012): I really dont wanna go through his phone at all, he had another phone for the last yr and a half which had no pin and i never went through that he just doesnt understand why he has made me paranoid and to be fair, to say i dont trust him isnt right coz it works both ways if he trusted me he wouldnt have a problem with me knowing the pin and would trust me not to go through it even though i could, just like when i leave my phone down, i have no pin and if he found something that he didnt like then id know he was snooping and didnt trust me and vice versa if that makes sense
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A
female
reader, deirdre +, writes (16 August 2012):
I agree the most with So Very Confused, they have summed it up for me. talk to him about it, Im having the same trouble right now except my boyfriend just has a normal phone. if they had nothing to hide, they would give it to the girlfriend. end of, in my opinion. good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2012): Either he is or isn't up to something.
If you were married, then yes, you should have his pin number.
Since you are the girlfriend at this point I can probably see why he doesn't want you to have that door opened to look at his personal cell history or sites he has been to. The temptation would always be there.
Heck, I'm engaged and we each have our own computers and cell phones and we don't know each other's passwords. It comes down to trust.
If his behavior has changed towards you and he walks out of the room to have a conversation on his cell then I would be concerned.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2012): he doesnt let me use it regularly i just used it that day, he was the one that typed the pin in for me, i have no problem him having privacy i totally understand that my only concern was because of the way he made out like i wanted to view it, i didnt but his response threw me so i have questioned it ever since.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (16 August 2012):
 well I can understand the pin to protect it from strangers, but from the SO, I have a problem.
In my current relationship we have no secrets.. we open each other's mail (snail mail)... we look at each others phones as needed... we share passwords.
If it's JUST the phone and no other issues well then I'd not be too worried but if it's things adding up to make you wonder... then maybe there's something going on....
only you can judge... with my past partners keeping secrets and lying to me I'd be concerned with him... if my partner currently has never kept anything from me and starts now, that's a red flag too.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (16 August 2012):
 His behaviour is suspicious. The pin lock is to prevent strangers from accessing his phone, not you. I think he's hiding something otherwise he'd have absolutely no problem with you knowing the pin code.
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A
male
reader, Hennessy1989 +, writes (16 August 2012):
 It's his phone, it's his private property, end of story
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (16 August 2012):
 His phone .. to me that says it all.
Because hubby uses his phone for work (military) he has a PIN lock on it too. I think it makes TOTAL sense to have a PIN lock on your phone, this day and age where EVERYONE can get into your whole LIFE by stealing your cell phone. Your banking, your pictures, you family, your e-mail... People however are pretty misguided if they think a PIN will keep them safe.
That matter aside, no I don't think someone having a PIN lock on their phone is necessarily hiding anything. Personally I don't think a GF/BF needs total access to their partners things. Some choose to do this, but I don't think it's a given, specially if there has been no "sketchy" behavior going prior.
Maybe your guy is just a private person when it comes to his phone?
He lets you use the phone when/if you need it.
Can I ask you WHY you think should have his PIN lock number?
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