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... Send *ensitiveBloke a private message | | | *ensitiveBloke's profile:I am a Christian and my life experiences and advice are shaped by my faith.
I always try to offer advice that lines up with the Bible's teachings on relationships.
I'm a passionate believer in marriage, and will always encourage husbands and wives to do everything they possibly can to make their marriages work.
I'm not here to force my views on anyone, but I hope I can give genuinely helpful advice whenever possible. |
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I think my GF has a romance phobia. Should I give my gf some more time, or how best to handle the situation?
Q. I have been dating my girl friend for just over a year now. We have an excellent relationship and we are happy together. I am in my thirties and she is in mid twenties and we have a 10 years of difference. I love everything about her. She is a lo...
A. 20 May 2015: You cannot change who you are as a person. Our interests depend primarily on our physiological makeup, which you cannot change. Sure, you could try to show an interest in things she likes, but if you don't inherently like them, you're never going to ... (read in full...)
Is our relationship really over? Is it selfish of me to want more from our relationshhip?
Q. I have been with my partner for four years since I was 16; we met in college and now he is university and I work full time. The past year we have both had our problems with families, mine has been awful and he is the light in all of it and what mak...
A. 19 May 2015: It sounds like he doesn't want a relationship anymore. He's just not interested. You need to let him go.... (read in full...)
I think my GF has a romance phobia. Should I give my gf some more time, or how best to handle the situation?
Q. I have been dating my girl friend for just over a year now. We have an excellent relationship and we are happy together. I am in my thirties and she is in mid twenties and we have a 10 years of difference. I love everything about her. She is a lo...
A. 19 May 2015: She's not interested in having a deep relationship with you. It may be many years until she is, or she might never.
It's better to bring things to an end sooner rather than later. This will allow you the chance to form a relationship with som... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being his dirty little secret!
Q. Dear cupid me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years now and I still have not meet his family or his 10 year old son his wife passed away 6 months before we started dating everytime I ask him to meet his son he just tells me that he doesn't ...
A. 14 May 2015: This all sounds very suspicious to me. Why have you never met his parents? It sounds like he's just using you as his secret bit on the side while he has another life he doesn't want you to know about.
You deserve to be treated with respect ... (read in full...)
Should I listen to my instincts and cut her from my life?
Q. Hi, I am writing again to put this into more depth so you Aunts can help me decide a bit more if I have the problem or does she? I have become really suspicious of my so called 'female' friend. Last year we used to get on well - until she became...
A. 14 May 2015: She's not acting as a friend should, so you should not seek to keep her as a friend. You can do without people like that in your life.... (read in full...)
I met this man and the chemistry was intense, so what happened next was ............
Q. Dear Cupid.. Long story short, have been texting 24/7 with a Guy i met 2 weeks ago. We been out together with friends 3times partying And made out once(french kissing). He is crazy in the head And i completely get his sick sense of humour. We t...
A. 13 May 2015: The main problem here is that you're in a relationship but you've been messing around with another man.
First things first: decide what you want to do about your relationship. If you're not happy, look at the reasons why and decide whether ... (read in full...)
Do you think it is a reasonable action on my part to ask my boyfriend for a loan? I don't think I can ask anyone else
Q. I'm a young female who is currently going through a struggle financially. I had lost my job and am in the process of finding a new one. I've been in a serious relationship with a great man for over 3 years. He has a great job and does good for hi...
A. 13 May 2015: If he's serious about you, he'll naturally want to help you so I don't think he'd have a problem with you asking.... (read in full...)
Should I have to give up on my dream of travelling?
Q. I have been with my partner for four years, he is studying at university and I am working full times and have been since I was 18. The thing is I am suffering through some hard times and I want to get away from my home town for a bit. My dream ...
A. 13 May 2015: He doesn't share your passion for travelling and he never will.
Go out there and experience the world! Travelling alone as a woman probably isn't sensible, so find someone who shares your passion and go for it!... (read in full...)
B/f asked me to go with him to see a place and I asked what it mean and now he's backing off?
Q. Boyfriend talked about us needing more space, arranged a viewing on a house, we went to see it with his son who was really excited. Commenting on all the rooms, we could use this for this, the gardrn would be perfect for that etc. Talked about it ...
A. 12 May 2015: Don't worry!
It sounds to me like he expects you will move in there at some point in the future, as your relationship progresses.
For the time being, it's a place he will live in with his son, and obviously he wants you to like the place t... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 3 months but he never wants to call or text?
Q. I need help. I am dating someone who never calls me and rarely texts me. We have been dating for 3 months, and he says that he wants to "take things slow." Is this normal? I am all for not rushing into things, but wouldn't a guy want to talk to ...
A. 11 May 2015: He's not interested in having a proper relationship with you.... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend is crossing boundaries in helping his female friend. Do I have a right to be concerned?
Q. Here's my situation. My boyfriend has been helping his female friend for the past week or so because she is going through a break up and child custody issues. Which is fine except I feel like he's crossing boundaries a little bit. He's been talk...
A. 8 May 2015: I agree with you. It should be another friend who should support her, one who's not in another relationship.... (read in full...)
Is it sex that he's after, or am I just projecting my past experiences onto this courtship?,
Q. I had a second date with this guy I met online and he's pressuring me to invite him to my place. I don't know him, so I said no. He was very persistent, and said he's not looking for sex. Anyway, I didn't let him in, but needless to say, I didn'...
A. 6 May 2015: Take it slowly and get to know him well. Stand firm and don't let him pressure you. It's hard to know what his intentions are since you hardly know him.... (read in full...)
How can I have a successful relation with a guy when my mother is so disruptive, judgemental and interfering?
Q. I am 30 years old and I have been dating with this guy who is 46 years old. We love each other so much. He never been married or had a kid before. He is so honest person and I love him so much. The problem is my family,specially my mom.she always b...
A. 5 May 2015: Move out as quickly as you can! She will have less involvement in your life and you'll be able to live independently. Then you can see whoever you want without her interfering.... (read in full...)
How can I calm my anxiety at the thought of losing him? Plus I need a guide on dating an introvert, please?
Q. I think i need a guide for dating an introvert... I am a very social, loving and very caring person. When in a relationship i always put the other person first, and always like to keep in contact, and do lots of thinga with them. Yet my boyfr...
A. 30 April 2015: He sounds like a strange person. Who would not even greet his girlfriend and then sit in silence for 20 mins?
He's obviously not ready for a relationship at the moment. He can't give you what you need. What exactly does he put into this relation... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong? Or was it just insensitive of her? She hasn’t been there for me once over the situation, did I just expect too much?
Q. Last year I found out my father wasn’t mine and my twin’s dad, but he was our elder sister’s father. Since this has come out we have had a strained relationship, mainly through her not understanding or being there for me. After months of struggle...
A. 24 April 2015: Parents should not have favourites. It causes all sorts of resentment as you know only too well.
It was insensitive of your (half) sister to talk about being the favourite. How did she think you would feel? I don't think she was consider... (read in full...)
No chemistry ...should I leave the perfect man after 5 years?
Q. I've been with my loving caring partner for 5 years...it has been almost perfect so I thought until last year. He dotes on me and puts me first and I was the same to him. It started last year and has continued...we hardly have sex and when we do I ...
A. 23 April 2015: To be truly happy with someone, you have to love them with your heart. You have to be in love with them, not just admire them. Just because someone ticks lots of boxes, that's not enough.
Work on your relationship, and try to rekindle the roma... (read in full...)
Amazing date but he hardly contacts me!
Q. I meet this guy a few weeks ago in a bar whilst out with friends. We literally spoke all night and got along so well there was such a strong connection between us i had never felt anything like that before and he said the same. We spoke the day ...
A. 21 April 2015: If he was interested, he wouldn't leave it for three days to contact you. Sorry.... (read in full...)
How can I encourage my Bf to tell me what's wrong rather than just turning away from me when he's upset? Or time to take a break?
Q. I have boyfriend trouble... He's a good guy, and I love him, but there are these moments when everything goes wrong and it's been happening more often lately. He'll get upset with me because of something I said or did, and get angry and turns away ...
A. 21 April 2015: It sounds like you two aren't communicating at all well.
Sit down with him and have a big long chat about everything. Tell him how you feel about things and why, and give him the chance to do the same. Agree a way forward that you're both hap... (read in full...)
Does missing someone else other than your partner mean you love that person more?
Q. Person A: my husband. married for less than 3yrs, together for longer than 10. my bestfriend. opposite personality. my enabler in co-dependent relationship. always felt that something was missing. Person B: co-worker who I had an instant connecti...
A. 21 April 2015: There's no easy way to answer your question of "How will I know if I love him?"
It's good that he's agreed to attend counselling with you.
If you don't already do it, have a "date" night each week where you go out together doing something ... (read in full...)
Does missing someone else other than your partner mean you love that person more?
Q. Person A: my husband. married for less than 3yrs, together for longer than 10. my bestfriend. opposite personality. my enabler in co-dependent relationship. always felt that something was missing. Person B: co-worker who I had an instant connecti...
A. 20 April 2015: Your feelings are stronger partly because it's the excitement and fantasy of someone new who seems so perfect.
You need to put this person out of the picture if you're to have any hope of sorting out your marriage. Go to marriage counsell... (read in full...)
Why is he saying what a crazy needy possessive bitch I am, who won't leave him alone and is constantly telling him what to do?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years is very busy. He has several jobs and, to be honest, has what I think are OCD-like tendencies. So, when he does have some rare time at home he spends it doing things like cutting holes in the walls to hide the wires BEHIND ...
A. 17 April 2015: It sounds like he's very self-centred and is investing nothing in your relationship. I don't know why you would want to be with a guy like this. Dump him.... (read in full...)
I'm a freshman, he's a senior, I'm pregnant! How' do I tell him?
Q. I'm a freshman in college, and about a month ago I met this guy who's a senior. We hit it off instantly, and after about two weeks of messaging and occasionally hanging out, I went to his room one night and we ended up hooking up. I was a virgin ...
A. 16 April 2015: You need to tell him face-to-face. There's no easy way to do it. It will be a shock to him however you tell him.... (read in full...)
Why is my sister obsessed with facebook?
Q. I know things could be a lot worse but my 'problem' is that my sister is constantly on Facebook. And it irks me. I don't why. She posts pictures and updates about once an hour. She is 35 years old and has three kids (2 step kids) and is pregnant for ...
A. 14 April 2015: It's up to your sister how she wants to use Facebook. It does sound obsessive, but as long as it doesn't affect you what's the problem?
You can change your account settings so she won't appear on your newsfeed even though you're friends. Then you... (read in full...)
I am feeling uncomfortable with my friend's husband
Q. Dear Cupid.. Am feeling uncomfortable with my friend's husband as of late. We are friends for almost 3yrs . before it was all fine but for the past 5 months i just feel awkaward around him. i find him too much focused on me when we meet, ev...
A. 14 April 2015: His behaviour is unacceptable, and you need to tell him so. Don't keep ignoring it: it won't stop if you do.... (read in full...)
What should I do about my nitpicking fiancé?
Q. I am at my ropes end. My fiance asked me to move in with him. I will admit I had a lot of stuff from my previous marriage (I am widowed) when I moved in with him. I was married for 24 years, so take that into account when a couple accumulates ...
A. 10 April 2015: I can see that you're working really hard to sort things out. Well done you :-) It will be well worth it.
It does sound like your fiance has OCD. The best way forward is always to try to see things from each other's point of view, which you're a... (read in full...)
What should I do about my nitpicking fiancé?
Q. I am at my ropes end. My fiance asked me to move in with him. I will admit I had a lot of stuff from my previous marriage (I am widowed) when I moved in with him. I was married for 24 years, so take that into account when a couple accumulates ...
A. 9 April 2015: It sounds like you're a hoarder and your fiance has reached the end of his tether! If you have a breezeway lined with storage, you've got too much stuff! A breezeway should not have any things stored in it at all.
Throwing stuff out is hard wor... (read in full...)
I love my b/f but don't wish to have sex with him anymore
Q. Okay, so I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and I am 20 years old. He is very affectionate, caring, and I know he would do anything for me..he is my best friend. He wants to marry me. However, we argue constantly because I am not very ...
A. 8 April 2015: You are not in love with your boyfriend anymore. You've tried to make it work, but you can't. You need to end things with him. It's not fair on your boyfriend to be denied affection from someone he loves, so free him to find someone who feels the ... (read in full...)
Should we still be this close after a breakup?
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years. It wasn't a bad break up at all, but after going through emotional problems I brought the idea of separating up and we mutually agreed that our relationship was unrealistic at this point (we live ...
A. 2 April 2015: If you're both happy to be in contact and it doesn't affect anyone else, then you can continue enjoying each others' friendship.
However if one of you starts a relationship with someone else, you will probably want to back off a little, have les... (read in full...)
He took my everything, now he has a happy life and I have nothing!
Q. Dear Cupid I just came out of 5 year relationship. it was kind of mutual breakup, he got bored with me and I couldn't take his indifference towards me. I loved him but I guess my love towards him started drying up when I was the only one pulling...
A. 2 April 2015: It's good that you have ended the relationship. Now you can move on with your life.
As you two are no longer together, so he has every right to find happiness with someone else.
And you do too! So stop feeling so down on yourself, and ge... (read in full...)
I wonder if she is brushing me off.
Q. Hello, I met a girl last week and we hit it off really well and she gave me her number she seemed really into me. I sent her a few messages over the week we shared same interests. These were short emails replies after 3 days so I felt maybe the ...
A. 2 April 2015: Yes, she's brushing you off.... (read in full...)
I can't deal with regret, how do I fight these thoughts and try to make something worthwhile of my life?
Q. When I was 18-21 I was fairly happy in life , I had a long term gf , started a new career in what I thought was good .. but I still was not sure what I wanted in life . The relationship ended and I lost loads of confidence in myself for the p...
A. 31 March 2015: For men, much of our self-esteem comes from our job. It's time to re-evaluate your career. Are you happy with what you're currently doing? What do you want to be doing in 5/10 years' time? Is it something else? You might need to retain to get new ... (read in full...)
I burst into tears when I saw how my boyfriend lives in squalor, what now?
Q. My 38 year old boyfriend of one year knew I was on my way round. What I saw horrified me. He is living in complete squalor. Dirty filthy conditions I would not put a dog in. He smoothed over it all saying he's busy with work and replacing a chimney ...
A. 31 March 2015: This is what you would have to look forward to if you ever lived under the same roof together. He doesn't see it as a problem. He sees it as normal.... (read in full...)
Do you think I've made the right decision to not attend this wedding, where my Bf will be the Best man?
Q. this may seem like a minor situation but it's stressing me out and im a grad student so extra stress is bad. A few months ago I had a falling out with my ex flatmates who are a couple. My boyfriend took their side which upset me. I posted on herea...
A. 30 March 2015: If you're invited, I think you should go. It will be embarrass your boyfriend if you're not there.
I don't know what the situation was, but if most if the people on this forum think you were being unreasonable then you probably were and you shou... (read in full...)
How do I leave a job that needs me?
Q. I work in a small company of 12-14 people. Besides my manager, I'm the only one in my department. There's two other depts. I've been here 9 months. My position requires negotiating rates and contracts, and maintaining a good relationship and...
A. 27 March 2015: In the UK, companies are obliged to provide employees with a contract which states what the notice period is.
Don't worry about how they will cope if you leave. That's their problem, not yours. We all like to think we're indispensable in our jobs... (read in full...)
Have feelings for former co-worker. Is it meant to be? And I am married to another man
Q. i am married. it seemed to be ok until I met a guy at work. the attraction grew for past years despite my attempts to stop it. few weeks ago I quit as a last ditch effort to save my marriage. I felt he felt the same about me, although he never sai...
A. 27 March 2015: Try to forget this ex-coworker and focus on the issues in your marriage.... (read in full...)
Is it safe to go ahead dating him even though he said he is not ready for a relationship right now? He's going through a divorce
Q. I started seeing this guy who is in the process of getting a divorce about 2 months ago. His divorce will be finalized in about a month. He told me on our fourth date that he had been married for 7 years and for the last 2 years things had gone sour ...
A. 26 March 2015: If he says he's not ready then you should listen to him and stop seeing him.
It takes time to get over the breakdown of a marriage. Some people get over it quickly, while others take years or may never get over it.
What he needs is time an... (read in full...)
Don't want to lose my friend. Yet what is so wrong in dating my friend's ex-girlfriend?
Q. I'll just go straight to the question. What is so wrong in dating my friend's ex-girlfriend? I mean they are no longer together for 3years now. We both want to go for it,i can bet on that but its just as if we should never cross. She has been m...
A. 26 March 2015: There's nothing wrong in dating her, but your friend won't be happy and you'll probably lose his friendship, even if things don't work out with you and this girl. That may seem unfair, but that's just how people are.
It's your choice - your fri... (read in full...)
My partner had an affair. Should I share the details with other husband?
Q. My long term partner (Me: 29F and Him: 32M) had an affair with a recently married woman, lasting about a month that I am aware of. They were family friends, I bartended her brother's wedding, etc. She and I were "friends". Long story short: I had a ...
A. 25 March 2015: Would you want to know if your spouse cheated on you? Of course you would, and you would have every right to know.
This man has the same right to know. What he does with that information is his decision.... (read in full...)
My gf is upset with me for talking to my ex
Q. Me and my exs relationship ended almost 3 years ago and I've been with my now gf for 2 years. My ex gf messaged me on Facebook last Saturday night (we had not spoken for like 8 months prior to this, we don't speak hardly at all to be honest). We ...
A. 24 March 2015: Your girlfriend's behaviour is entirely understandable. She feels threatened by your ex, and you are not helping the situation.
If you want to stay with your girlfriend, you need to break off contact with your ex.... (read in full...)
Stable relationship, no ups and downs, but no excitement either.
Q. My boyfriend told me he's missing excitement in our relationship. He dosen't think it's a problem, but I'm thinking that if only we could add some he'd be more happy. His past relationship (his first one) was pretty explosive, arguments, probl...
A. 23 March 2015: It's great to have a relationship where you can sort out all your differences by talking things through. That's how things are supposed to be!
If your boyfriend has been used to drama in his previous relationship, this relationship may seem odd... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be so afraid to think about remarriage after divorce? Will my ex control things still?
Q. I got divorce last year and seperated for 2.5 years before that. I was searching online as no one from my family or friends are divorced. I wanted to see how the second marriage works when you have a child, my daughter is 8 years old. What I le...
A. 20 March 2015: How your children cope will be largely affected by how the parents behave towards each other.
It sounds like your ex-husband is a nasty person, and he will communicate this hatred of you to your daughter whether he realises he's doing it or not. ... (read in full...)
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