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His Mom undermines my ability to discipline my child. We live with her. Would it be wrong to leave my Bf?

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Health, Marriage problems, Pregnancy, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 August 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 21 August 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been in a relationship for the last 3 years, the last year and a half has been nothing but an emotional roller coaster.

Earlier this year we had financial troubles and so we moved back into my mother in laws house. I have a daughter, who is my entire world. Right now I am a stay at home mom which was a mutual agreement between her father and I.

My biggest concerns are that we are never getting out of here.

"L" is not making any plans to move soon and I am tired of this living situation. Right now his priorities are himself and his fun. He doesn't understand that I get frustrated because I feel like a single parent when he is home.

Being that we stay at his moms house she feels she needs to take part in raising my daughter. if I go to punish her for something she did his mom swoops in and snatches her up, she totally disregards my rules about not giving her soda when I repeat myself constantly, its every thing I say that goes into question with her.

she does the exact opposite of what I say, which makes me mad because even though she may not agree she should respect me, because I actually know what's best for "A" being that she is my daughter. I have talked to "L" about this but of course its me overreacting.

I cook but a lot of the times I do, his mom goes out to eat even before I say anything about making anything, when she cones home she makes comments about what we eat,like I don't eat that crap. I feel uncomfortable but again I'm overreacting. I tell "L" that I'm unhappy and want to move back home but all I hear is "What the ^^^k ever" every time.

He doesn't want us to leave but doesnt want to make sure we are taken care of. I was working up until my daughter was 6 months and quit to be home with her. I want to get back to work soon I just don't want to be working towards nothing. he doesn't understand that. is it just wrong if I leave?

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (21 August 2012):

Stayc63088 agony auntYou should get out and move into the apartment with your brother. Your boyfriend sounds like a child who is just happy to be back with mom and couldn't care less about your feelings. His mom is disrespecting you as a parent and has no right telling you how to raise your child just because you are in her home. To be honest I'd dread having her as a mother in law one day. You aren't wrong in the slightest for wanting to leave. Soda for a one year old???

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A male reader, C. Grant Canada +, writes (21 August 2012):

C. Grant agony auntCompletely agree with Honeypie. If you have an alternative, take it. It's your responsibility to raise your child in the best way you know how, and these people aren't helping. Plus your child will pick up on your tension. It is not wrong for you to leave.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2012):

Sorry I left out a few details, my little brotheback home is getting Ajan apartment and he wants me to move in to splitcosts,which he is a great roomate, he is a college student, already has a steady income and has no problem babysitting. I know this because he lived with my brother and his son. I also agree its crossing the line, I know every grandma wants to spoil thier grandbaby but when its disrespecting my wishes I have a big problem. she is only 1 and her teeth are barely starting to come in, I'm not trying to have her baby teeth rotted out..I am very big on dental hygiene, adding as I want to he a dentist one day.

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A male reader, SensitiveBloke United Kingdom +, writes (21 August 2012):

SensitiveBloke agony auntYour boyfriend should be working on a plan towards getting all three of you out of there. Living with parents at the stage you're at is NOT healthy for any of you. You mother in law should butt out: you are the mother of this child, not her. It she wants to do something, sh should ask you first. Your boyfriend should understand this and put his mother in order. You must make it clear to your boyfriend that you will leave with your daughter if he doesn't work out with you how and when you will move out.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 August 2012):

Honeypie agony auntHonestly, I would take your daughter and get out. Can you live with your parents til you get back on your feet?

It would not be wrong at all. I do know that there are many grandparents who think it's their given right to over-rule the parent and "spoil" their grandchildren, but your "mil" seems to take it a few steps further.

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