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... Send *ensitiveBloke a private message | | | *ensitiveBloke's profile:I am a Christian and my life experiences and advice are shaped by my faith.
I always try to offer advice that lines up with the Bible's teachings on relationships.
I'm a passionate believer in marriage, and will always encourage husbands and wives to do everything they possibly can to make their marriages work.
I'm not here to force my views on anyone, but I hope I can give genuinely helpful advice whenever possible. |
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Is it normal to be so afraid to think about remarriage after divorce? Will my ex control things still?
Q. I got divorce last year and seperated for 2.5 years before that. I was searching online as no one from my family or friends are divorced. I wanted to see how the second marriage works when you have a child, my daughter is 8 years old. What I le...
A. 20 March 2015: How your children cope will be largely affected by how the parents behave towards each other.
It sounds like your ex-husband is a nasty person, and he will communicate this hatred of you to your daughter whether he realises he's doing it or not. ... (read in full...)
Can I be pregnant while on the pill and having regular periods?
Q. Last week my friend's sister found out she was pregnant and the baby would be born is two weeks. She never had any symptoms or a "typical pregnancy belly". Also she never missed a period,even though they were very irregular. Now I'm scared that thi...
A. 18 March 2015: Take a pregnancy test and then you'll know one way or the other.
If you're taking the pill properly, it's unlikely you'd get pregnant but not impossible.... (read in full...)
I'm feeling really trapped in this relationship.
Q. so me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and two months and I absolutely love him to bits!! But he's overly sensitive. I feel like I've become his councillor. He is so emotionally unstable and I've tried so hard to convince him to see a ...
A. 18 March 2015: You are not responsible for him. You're not his mother.
He has serious issues that he needs to address, but he won't do that if his relationship with you continues.
You are not trapped. You have a choice. You need to choose to end this relatio... (read in full...)
I have a huge secret crush on a woman who has become friends with my own fiancee. Do I reveal my crush, or not?
Q. I'm engaged to a wonderful woman that I have been with for 8 years (since I was 18). She is a beautiful person, inside and out, and I feel terrible guilt about asking this. She has become friends with a girl (let's call her Jane) over the past two ...
A. 16 March 2015: If you're fantasising about being with another woman, you have to consider whether you're really that in love with your fiancee. I would suggest that you're not, in which case you should break off your engagement.
Do not say anything to the woma... (read in full...)
Rejected after first date?!
Q. So I joined eharmony. I was talking back and forth with this guy and we seemed really compatible, he even said so. He asked me out to a coffee date and I said yes, which was yesterday. I was really exited because he seemed attractive and we had so ...
A. 13 March 2015: You did nothing wrong, he just didn't fancy you, that's all.... (read in full...)
Especially interested in a Male perspective. Why not just spare someone from the wonder and tell them the truth?
Q. I met this guy online and he seemed pretty respectable in how he approached me. We swapped pictures. I showed him my full profile front and side etc. He was happy with the pictures. Anyway, the way he messaged me was friendly and respectable. Bas...
A. 12 March 2015: He doesn't want to date you again. If he did, he'd be in contact with you asking you out again. He finds it easier to just not contact you rather than say he doesn't want to date you again.... (read in full...)
Found out she cheated... lied for months and watched me have a breakdown. Can the relationship be saved?
Q. I'm pretty screwed up right now... Essentially my girlfriend of over 7 years slept with her best friend about 6 months ago, once drunk in the night, and again in the morning (though she claims se was still drunk). I've always suspected it. she ...
A. 11 March 2015: You are engaged to a cheat and a liar. You can't build any proper relationship with a person like this. You deserve so much better. End this now.... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't believe in marriage
Q. I'm 25 and I'm in the best relationship of my life. I'm completely in love with my boyfriend and I think he feels the same. He tells me he wants to be together forever but when the word marriage is brought into converstation he freaks out. The pr...
A. 11 March 2015: You haven't said how long you've been together for, but I'm guessing you must know each other quite well.
If he has no plan whatsoever of marrying and committing to someone, you may be in for a very long wait. Better to agree that you both hav... (read in full...)
Aside from telling his ex to really stop it, what else can we do to make stop calling him?
Q. Dear Aunties and Uncles, I've posted here before about my boyfriend's ex who has been contacting him on a regular basis. It started with her grandmother being in the hospital in October, then her grandmother's passing in November - my boyfrien...
A. 11 March 2015: Your boyfriend's behaviour is suspicious. Why would he not tell his ex that he now has a girlfriend when he's in contact with her regularly? And why would he delete an innocent text? He's obviously closer to her than he's letting on.
I also fin... (read in full...)
Is it normal for my fiance to call his parents and check in with them when we go somewhere
Q. A little background. When my fiancé was in his late 20's he was in bad car accident and he was in a coma for 3 weeks and rehab and then went home after 3 months. That sent his parents into a frantic mode, which would be a normal response to that ...
A. 10 March 2015: I understand why your fiance does this, but at the same time it does seem a little excessive.
It seems his parents have not come to terms with what happened or moved on from it. They probably still worry needlessly, and your husband is trying t... (read in full...)
Will men still fancy me if I get a short hair cut?
Q. I feel like doing something brave and unconventional, and one thing I'd like to do is to cut my shoulder-long hair to a dramatic, very-short hair cut. But I'm afraid that if I do so, men won't fancy me any more, as people sometimes assume short-ha...
A. 10 March 2015: They'll still fancy you if you have one of these styles:
http://hairstylesweekly.com/10-short-feminine-hairstyles... (read in full...)
Even sex on the fifth date doesn't seem long enough to wait
Q. I'm 24 and fed up of boys wanting one thing from me .. It isn't like I have sex 1st date .. I do make them wait till at least 4-5th date but it always ends up just sex. I was dating this guy which I went on 6 date with .. The 5th date we did...
A. 10 March 2015: It seems you are attracting a certain type of guy!
Maybe you should make it clear from the outset what kind of relationship you are after. Find out if they're looking for a proper relationship or just fun. Don't just assume or hope.
Many pe... (read in full...)
My ex is in a relationship
Q. My ex is in a relationship, the first I know of since we broke up over 5 years ago. Would it be ok to msg her? She did tell me not to msg her again but she use to say things like this all the time when she got pissed of at me. So I haven't msged ...
A. 9 March 2015: Do not contact her. You are in another relationship now. She sounds like the kind of person who will continue to mess you around and blow hot and cold. Stay away!... (read in full...)
These ladies are all home owners and take pride in their home- why couldn't they respect mine?
Q. Hi, Something happened recently which annoyed me some what and I would like opinions as to whether I'm being too sensitive or not... 2 weeks ago my work organised for us all to have an evening out- now seeing as I lived closest to the venue whe...
A. 9 March 2015: You are right to be upset. They have shown great disrespect to you and your home. They should be apologising and offering to replace your carpet. It shows what kind of people they are.... (read in full...)
We've been together for 7 years and everyone expects us to marry but I'm not sure if that's what I want
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for seven years, we were together in high school and for the last seven years we have had a distance relationship on and off due to me studying. now i am home for good I am starting to feel that i'm settling for whats ...
A. 6 March 2015: After seven years with someone, if you're still not sure about them then it's time to move on.
It's going to be hard, but it's wrong to stay with someone just because of what other people expect. The only reason you should stay with someone ... (read in full...)
Can anyone give advice of how to get through a very stressful time without taking meds?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm feeling incredibly stressed at the moment and I'm looking for some tips on how to deal with it as I'm already noticing the effects physically (restless sleep, acne, feeling anxious, aches and pains etc). It feels like everyt...
A. 6 March 2015: Let's start with the obvious: you're working too much. Doing twelve-hour days is too much. Carry on as you are, and soon you'll be off work with stress and then you'll be no help to anyone. You must cut your work hours. If you feel bad about this, ... (read in full...)
Where do I fit in or am I too needy?
Q. I came out of a relationship with a guy who was busy with work, scuba diving, golf and watching sports. I felt neglected and let down. We broke up after ten months as he said I was needy and he wanted an independent woman. I wasn't very nice...
A. 5 March 2015: It sounds like your boyfriends weren't that into you and both just wanted a casual relationship. That's fine if both of you are happy with that, but if one of you wants more then obviously that's a problem.
Maybe you find yourself attracte... (read in full...)
Would you cancel your wedding if your family wasn't interested? Is my fiance's suggestion better?
Q. I'm getting married next summer to the love of my life. We have been together almost 3 years and I love him so much. I'm 21 he is 30. I got engaged last year and booked my wedding but my family are so disinterested. My mother and father hate soci...
A. 3 March 2015: If your family aren't bothered then go abroad and do whatever you want without having to compromise. Big weddings are really expensive. What's the point if neither you nor your family will enjoy it?... (read in full...)
How can a husband handle such an issue?
Q. Is it proper for the woman to always pin her phones preventing her husband to never have access to her phone? Even when the husband demand that both of them should remove pin code from their phones, she refused. There after the maids alleged that ...
A. 24 February 2015: You have to handle it calmly, but her behaviour does sound suspicious.... (read in full...)
Aside from telling his ex to really stop it, what else can we do to make stop calling him?
Q. Dear Aunties and Uncles, I've posted here before about my boyfriend's ex who has been contacting him on a regular basis. It started with her grandmother being in the hospital in October, then her grandmother's passing in November - my boyfrien...
A. 20 February 2015: Get your boyfriend to tell her to stop contacting him and explain why (again). Then get your boyfriend to block her no from his phone.
Make sure he has privacy set up properly on any social media he uses so she can't see what he's posting.... (read in full...)
Am I the problem or is it them?
Q. Hey guys. You see, at the start of this academic year, all of my friends went off to college while I stayed at school for sixth form. I knew straight away that they would all make new friends and I was fine with that, but it's getting to the p...
A. 19 February 2015: There's no problem as such, it's just that your friendship with these people has run its course. Friends come and go, and these have gone. Time to make some new friends. Is there no-one in your sixth form you get on well with?... (read in full...)
I told my married lover I am free to see others and he said he wants a future with me. Is he stringing me along?
Q. I have been seeing a married man for 5 years I have divorced my husband but my lover is still with his family, he said he cannot leave his children until they are older and less dependant on him, he does idolise his kids.I said I was free to see ...
A. 19 February 2015: Yes, he's stringing you along. He knows what he's doing is wrong and doesn't want anyone finding out about it.
Find someone who's actually available and not already in a relationship with someone else.... (read in full...)
He's in jail and was my wild Bf. How can I help him without it becoming a relationship agani?
Q. I have recently split up with my boyfriend but I'm really confused about what to do. I was in a relationship for 8 years with a guy who was really quite boring, we had nothing in common and my life was a bit mundane. After I split up with him...
A. 18 February 2015: It's his fault he's in jail. He messed up your life big time, and yet you still want to be in contact with him? Do you know how crazy that sounds?
Your first boyfriend was not suited to you, and neither is this guy. You need to find someone ... (read in full...)
She is initiating everything. Does that mean she likes me?
Q. So there's this girl that was in one of my PE classes last quarter. I didn't talk to her much, but from what I've learned about her, she's super smart and athletic. We don't have any classes this quarter, so I haven't seen her on campus. Over the ...
A. 17 February 2015: It's hard to tell if she likes you, but why not ask her out for a coffee or something? You won't know if you don't ask.... (read in full...)
Friend and I were going to date but then he pushed me aside for another woman and I feel like a failture!
Q. I feel an idiot , my friend and I had feeling for each other and was going to make a go of it , then he said he was confused and didn't know what he wanted. We made plans to see each other but panicked and cancelled. He now told me he went on a date ...
A. 17 February 2015: This guy is not interested in you, so forget him.
If you want to meet new people, why not join a dating website?... (read in full...)
I truly love my boyfriend so why do I want to call this married man?
Q. Dear Aunts, I love my boyfriend of seven years fully. Yet, there's a married man after me. He drops by where I work weekly and always talks with me. He brings me gifts mostly every time and says he simply likes our conversations. I keep telling h...
A. 17 February 2015: You would not be interested if everything was fine with your boyfriend. Work on your relationship with your boyfriend and sort out whatever needs sorting out.
In the meantime, maybe your boyfriend could phone this man and have a "friendl... (read in full...)
I need help dealing with an obsessive lover
Q. I need help dealing with an obsessive lover. Here is some background info. Thank you all for taking the time to read. I teach at a University and very recently, we had a new colleague join the Department. He was a part of the Dept prior to my j...
A. 16 February 2015: The guy sounds like a psycho. You need to put him straight and make it clear to him that the two of you are NOT going to enter into a relationship under any circumstances.
You need to let a few people know what has happened here just in case it ... (read in full...)
After four dates I don't know if she's messing with me
Q. Hello, so Ill try to brief. I met a girl, we went on 4 dates never kissed. Walked her home to her apartment every time. I was nervous around her and she knew it, she told me to relax lol, she's a "cool" girl.anyways we had a couple short ...
A. 16 February 2015: Contact her one last time and find out where you stand with her.... (read in full...)
Should I keep sending this guy I just met a photo of me everyday?
Q. Hello I am a female and I really need help cause I feel lost. I met a guy one week ago. We spoke and he was very charming and funy. We had so much laughter the night we met. He asked me for my number and I gave it to him. It was Saturday the day I ...
A. 13 February 2015: The guy's messing you around and is just playing games with you. He sounds weird. Stop sending pictures and don't contact him again.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says I should now plan Valentine's?
Q. I just got a new job, which is great but it does now mean I'll be working on the weekend. My boyfriend had asked me to keep Valentine's day free, I said I would, but I need this job and the money because of personal reasons. My boyfriend now sa...
A. 13 February 2015: I hadn't seen your original post, and reading that along with this post makes me change my advice slightly.
It seems he wanted Valentine's Day to be important, so that leads me to believe that he is putting the effort into the relation... (read in full...)
I cry everyday and want to be happy again!
Q. I don't know what to do anymore. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over two years now. He is 25 and I am 26. Our relationship was long-distance for about eight months before he moved across the country to be with me. Everything about...
A. 12 February 2015: The guy is a complete idiot. He has repeatedly lied and betrayed you, and yet you love him more than life itself?
He's trampled all over your happiness, your confidence and your health.
End this damaging relationship now.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says I should now plan Valentine's?
Q. I just got a new job, which is great but it does now mean I'll be working on the weekend. My boyfriend had asked me to keep Valentine's day free, I said I would, but I need this job and the money because of personal reasons. My boyfriend now sa...
A. 12 February 2015: He sounds like a very selfish person.
Are you not available in the evening on Valentine's Day? That's when people usually go out and do things.
Why should you have to organise everything? It doesn't make any sense. If you aren't available... (read in full...)
I want to forgive my mother, I know she will never change and I don't want to!
Q. My mother is a workaholic. She always has been, my whole life. She's fond of saying how she went back to work the day after she and I came home from the hospital after I was born. She says she works so hard so that we can have a nice life but I ...
A. 12 February 2015: Your mother thinks that providing things for you, like a nice house and a good education, are proof that she cares for you. This is, if you like, her love language.
What she does not understand is that people need a whole lot more than that to ... (read in full...)
My brother in law came on to me when I was a teen. Now family wants me to forgive and forget. What should I do?
Q. Years ago when I was 15 I went on a cruise with my older sister and her husband. After a night of drinking and partying my sisters husband escorted me back to my cabin and started making sexual advances toward me. I told my mom and dad and ...
A. 12 February 2015: It sounds like your sister and family are living in denial and trying to sweep everything under the carpet. They are not respecting you and what happened to you.
It's up to you if you want to stay in contact. If you can deal with your family h... (read in full...)
My brother in law came on to me when I was a teen. Now family wants me to forgive and forget. What should I do?
Q. Years ago when I was 15 I went on a cruise with my older sister and her husband. After a night of drinking and partying my sisters husband escorted me back to my cabin and started making sexual advances toward me. I told my mom and dad and ...
A. 11 February 2015: I'm really sorry to hear what happened to you. And sorry you weren't believed.
Do your family believe you now? Have they apologised for dismissing you before?... (read in full...)
2 years of crazy and we're only teenagers! what should I do?
Q. What should I do? Me and my boyfriend been together for 2 years now. At first, everything was fantastic. Like fairytales, lovey-Dovey for the first year. Second year, things changed. We became more busy, and I have a very busy life compared to his, ...
A. 11 February 2015: He is an idiot and you deserve soooo much better. How could you possibly want to be with someone who is so nasty to you?
Don't let him emotionally blackmail you with the self-harming. It's his responsibility if he harms himself, not yours.
... (read in full...)
I feel like his sex toy, not a girlfriend
Q. I have been dating someone but he keeps lying to me an making false promises to take me out but makes excuses as to why he cant keep promises an he only sees me on a night time but not through the day an he says he has to look after his son whos 11, ...
A. 10 February 2015: You have no reason to stay with him. Dump him for good this time.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says that I have betrayed his trust because of a message on my social media
Q. I have been with my boyfriend over 3 years(I'm 29, he's 31) I work in health care and watch a client of mine at his house to make some extra cash. A man who lives at the house with the client and is around my age, we have developed a platonic ...
A. 10 February 2015: You are doing a job where the opportunity to cheat is always there. I'm not for one moment suggesting you would, but it's something you need to be mindful of.
You have an opportunity to cheat with a bloke, you spend time regularly with him and ... (read in full...)
At 54 is it too late to start over?
Q. My miserable boyfriend spends every weekend morning with his mother and weekend afternoons reading and napping. He refuses to travel, never shows affection, does little around the house and never suggests doing anything in term of leisure activity. ...
A. 9 February 2015: It's never too late to start over. My dad's just got married again at 79!
Your boyfriend has no enthusiasm for life or other people. How can he possibly make anyone (i.e. you) happy?
There are loads of good dating websites nowadays. It's e... (read in full...)
I feel hurt and betrayed!
Q. I am a 50 plus year old female. I am feeling hurt and betrayed. One of my very best friends, as I've spoke about before in this forum is planning on moving. She claims I am the very best friend she has ever had in her life and I feel the same about ...
A. 9 February 2015: It sounds like maybe she doesn't like you as much as you like her.
I don't think confrontation will help you. You will come across as needy.
Stay in contact with her after she moves. It's not worth ruining a friendship over this.... (read in full...)
My fiance's ex will not allow their children to be in our wedding
Q. Dear all Following a previous post, again I need some advice on dealing with a highly sensitive issue regarding my future lovely step children. We are getting married this year and they are supposed to be my flower girl and usher to which t...
A. 6 February 2015: If your fiance shares custody of his children, his ex cannot stop them from being at the wedding.
Why do you want to keep this a secret from your parents and family? You should tell your parents and family all about it as they may be able to help ... (read in full...)
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