A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 27 years old with a 8 year old son not by my boyfriend and a 17 month old baby that is by my boyfriend. We have been together for 3 years and 2 months. Everything was great in the beginning. He meet a girl in New Jersey through his work and they were partners for a week's mission. Her story is they slept together the last 4 nights. Then they continued a flirting relationship for 3 months. Stopped for another 3 then this past August they started flirting/talking over the phone again. In November he flew to see her and stayed at her apartment. He lied to me about were he was going and even when I caught him he continued to lie about the detail of everything. She claims they slept together then too. When he came back from Alabama he continued to talk to her all the time. Then 3 weeks later she came to DC for work and he took her to dinner and then back to her hotel. She is claiming that they slept together in Jersey, Alabama and DC. She has sent me numerous emails, pictures, etc. She has been nothing but nice to me telling me anything that I wanted to hear. I texted her last week to find out once and for all if she knew I exsited. She called me immedietly and said she had no idea he had a girlfriend or our son. He lied to her about me and our boy. When I confronted him he admitted that he never told her about me or our son and he first admitted to just getting oral sex in DC. Then hours later he admitted to just sleeping with her in DC and denies Jersey and Alabama. The next day he finally admitting to staying just at her home because the night before he said he only stayed there 2 nights in alabama and was at a friends house the other. Its been 5 days since I busted him and he still won't admit to Jersey or Alabama. He want's to be together and move past this and I would like to too, but I am still concerned that he did sleep with her in Jersey and Alabama which means he had a 10 month affair and won't come clean. How can I start fresh when he is still lying to me. His entire immediete family now knows about this and he swears he would never do it again. Please help, for i do love him.
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female
reader, rockelle +, writes (22 January 2008):
 I hate to be the one to break it to you but 9 times out of 10 he is lying. Just like he lied about everything else. But what difference does it make anyhow? He cheated, you found out. Why do you need him to confess? Is that going to make you feel better? I doubt it. If you want to stay with him go ahead but I do not think that knowing every detail of his affair is going to make it any easier for you. You know enough, the thought that he lied about being in a relationship is one thing but to lie about his kid is enough to make any women furious. I hope it works out for you and I truly hope that he is sorry and doesn't do it again. I hope that you are taking this situation seriously, I hope you asked important questions like whether or not they used protection, not whether it was in New Jersey or Alabama... He could have brought a disease back from New Jersey. You need to think about your children when you are in a relationship with a cheater he is not only gambling with his health but yours also. I am a mother and NO man is that important, I will be the one to raise my son and I am not going to let some cheating S.O.B. take that away from me. I hope that you have thought about that. We live in a time where we have to worry about more than just Chlamydia, Herpes, and etc. We have to worry about HIV and AIDS. So if being a liar, and a cheat isn't enough to seriously make you think about getting out of this relationship then maybe the thought of leaving your children motherless will. Good Luck with whatever you decide...
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