A
male
age
,
*adVoice
writes:This question is for the adults only!I like this site....I've only recently in the last 2 months or so found out about this site. Here is my dilemma.....I currently feel very very uncomfortable giving advice to juveniles (I currently don't)when their question is of a sexual (teach me/tell me how)nature. Here in the US....it can be construed as and fall under the category of "contributing to the delinquincy of a minor". I truly feel bad by not answering some of their questions, because I feel that I 'may' be able to give a little guidance/advice,but I'm concerned.....Can any adult answer and tell me what you think about this? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, BadVoice +, writes (6 February 2008):
BadVoice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your rrespnses to my question. You all been both informative and very enlightening. Enjoy your day and keep up the good work!
A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (6 February 2008):
 I agree, there are some questions that I choose not to answer because I do not want to encourage questionable behavior for a young person. So most of the time I just simply do not answer. However, the good thing about this site is that there are a lot of young people who come and ask questions that they would never dream of asking there parents or teachers. In some way I feel that we are doing a great service to the younger generation by offering some advice and sharing our life experiences. Just b/c we do not agree with what or how they choose to live does not mean that we should ignore there questions. Some of these questions are clearly someones misguided teenager crying for help. So my answer to a question like How to give a blow job from a 14 year old would be something along the line of: "I am sure you and your boyfriend could find another activity that does not include oral sex, try going to the movies." It probably wont be the response they want but I will certainly sleep better knowing that I may have made this young person possibly reconsider her actions. At the end of the day the parents are responsible for educating there children about sex and dating not people on the internet. But I also believe that it takes a community to raise a child, and as long as we provide responsible answers there is no harm done.
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (6 February 2008):
 I am 52 and have raised two children. My daughter is in my avatar. They are now 22 and 26. When I raised my children, I always gave them MORE information than they needed at the time, not less. I gave them the "birds and bees" talk when they were both in Grade 1, because they had already begun to ask questions. They both managed to keep their virginity until they were over 18, and seemed to have a broader knowledge about contraception than a lot of their friends had.
HAVING SAID THAT - My view is that I judge the merit of each question that is asked with their age group and try to put myself in their parents shoes, would I or would I not like someone else telling my child this? I try to avoid the "How do I give a Blow Job" questions from 14 year olds, because it's inappropriate to answer that question. 14 year olds shouldn't think it's normal to be giving blow jobs (even if some teens are and have always been more promiscuous than others) and I wouldn't want to encourage it. Thank you very much Bill Clinton for telling the world that blow jobs are not sex. If it is an anatomy question, like "Do vaginas and breast grow at the same rate, so girls with big breasts have big vaginas?", then I feel fine about correcting misinformation of a sexual nature in a way that provides a correct, simple, straightforward answer. If a teenager is of age, over 16, and is heading in the direction of having sex, I talk about being in a responsible relationship, being committed, SAFE SEX and the importance of always wearing a condom until marriage, how difficult it is to break up with someone after being naked together and having sex, in other words, try to point out all of the pitfalls and try to encourage them to wait a bit by showing the WHOLE picture of entering into a sexual relationship. I always try to encourage them to wait until they are over 18 and in University, it just makes to whole experience a bit easier.
I try to alert the site guy, Andrew or Dear Cupid, when I find questions that seem a bit unusual, there have been questions that talk about underage sex and I will flag them and ask them to be removed. The normal age to start sex is 17, but of course this will vary from country to country (I'm Canadian, the site is British, I believe). I just don't wish to dwell on it or promote sex at a younger age because this might be misconstrued as normal to any younger person reading the site, and encourage them to take on sexuality at a younger age, when they should be more cautious and using their head to make these decisions for themselves. I also have concerns that it might attract the wrong people to the website and that it might be used for the wrong purposes.
As long as you feel that you are answering the questions from the perspective of your being in a parental role, not a "friend who knows more than they do; so you're letting them in on the good stuff", then you'll know that you are probably answering their questions in good conscience. As far as contributing to the delinquency of a minor goes, if you follow that same conscience, it should be fine. I think that most smart parents have their computers in their family rooms and know which websites their children are on these days. And if they DON'T, they should have...
...............................
A
female
reader, Cherriepie +, writes (6 February 2008):
 I feel the same way you do and I'm not always comfortable giving advice to minors on certain issues.
However its about the jeanie in a bottle. Once the jeannie is out and they are asking question you never thought of of at thier age what do you do? You cant put the jeannie back in. You just can say no no no..you cant ask these questions! Its better to be honest and give a straight answer if you feel you can help. They are coming here for advice that they cant get from their parents and should, but in many cases they dont trust their parents. if you don't feel comfortable with some questions then stay out of it and let others handle it. if you have some experience in what they are asking why not help out with advice. i dont answer every question either...we all pick and choose what we feel we can handle.
And i dont think giving good and proper advice is contributing to deliquency or whatever. If a kid is out there being sexually active, we can't control them, but the best we can do is stear them right so they can make the best decisions for themselves.
...............................
|
