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Am I being a bitch by saying mean things about her?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 January 2008) 9 Answers - (Newest, 8 May 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

ok i am 14 and i really like this boy but he claims too love another girl.

we have meet once and he said i was good looking and i am a nice girl.

i thought i would go on the girl "he claims love" myspace to see what she looks like shes not ugly but she is not pretty either i started to talk to her and she seems ok but nothing special.

am i being a bitch by saying mean things about her?

(he also has a pic of her as his display picture on msn)

View related questions: msn, myspace

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008):

I don't think you are because you really like this guy but he doesn't like you so you should do what ever it takes to get your man.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2008):

its true your stressing yourself out about nothing...deal with it..if he doesn't like you so what..if you really care pretend you dont..and if he likes you he'll get with you..you are not the judge on who he loves or how they look thats his feelings not yours...and if your a good friend maybe he'll hit you up when they break up

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (17 January 2008):

O Connor agony aunthe's got a girlfriend and its not you - sorry to sound so harsh but its true. and you shouldnt say bad things about her to make you feel better, its not fair on her, she has done nothing to target you and is happy with him, so dont come between that. if he is really interested in you, then leave it up to him to make contact. how would you feel if you were this girlfriend? leave it be, and try and enjoy meeting other ppl who you like. again sorry if any of this sounds harsh, but i just think you need honest, upfront advice about this.

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A female reader, AngelofLove United Kingdom +, writes (16 January 2008):

AngelofLove agony auntRegardless if this girl is pretty or not, you have no right to say bad things about her. Deep down, you know this. Sorry for the strong advice but this is my opinion.

I am a great believer of Karma, treat others as you would like to be treated yourself.

If it was the other way around and you found out, you would feel hurt too.

Age does not determine how much you love someone, if at all measurable, it is at different levels depending on the person in love, not age, looks.

This boy may not be in love but it is her picture on his msn not yours, think about it!

If if you think that he is not all loyal to her, why would you want someone that flirts with other people.

Perhaps if you find another boy who is only interested in new, you will be happier and do not have to worry about possible love triangle, it only attracts trouble sooner or later.

You may think that this is the guy for you as you have feelings for him at the moment but bottomline is that if he is into another, there is nothing you can do or say to change his mind.

You deserve to have your own boyfriend, rather than share one. Life is to short to waist chasing after what you cannot change.

Good luck, wishing well and happiness for the future

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

can i just say he never said he loved her its just in his msn addie yet he flirts with me.

so he oviosly doesnt like her that much if he is intrested in ther girls and i spoke to a 20 year old about it and they said "he i 14 he doesnt know what love is " is this true?

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A female reader, rockelle United States +, writes (16 January 2008):

rockelle agony aunt9 times out of 10 the reason he fell in love with her has nothing to do with how she looks. You said yourself she's an OK person so back off and who knows maybe someone better will come along.

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (16 January 2008):

birdynumnums agony auntYou want to call this girl names because you think that you are in competition with her for this boy's affections, but he has already told you that he loves her.

Some guys like big women, some guys like blondes, some guys like tiny women, some guys like red-heads, he likes her. She is his type. Bad-mouthing someone that he likes isn't going to make him open his eyes or see things your way, it's only going to make you look bad.

I'm a tall, attractive brunette and I had a crush on a guy for years in high school (I never, ever saw his dates) who finally married - a short, cutsie-poo blonde type. Turns out, I was never the type he would have looked at anyway, and I wasted all that time pining over him.

Take my advice, it's a waste of your emotions and energy to pursue this crush. There is nothing to be gained by calling this girl names, it will only make you look bad (and feel guilty, because you actually thought that she was alright). Don't worry, your guy is still out there! And I bet he's probably cuter! lol!

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A female reader, Serinity United States +, writes (16 January 2008):

Serinity agony auntJust because you like him doesn't mean he should drop this other girl like a hot potato. Who cares what she's like and what she looks like. You shouldn't talk bad about people, especially if you don't even know them. You're mad at her because you like her boyfriend, how fair is that? How would you like it if the shoe were on the other foot? What if you had a boyfriend that you really loved and one day some other girl decided that she likes him and what if he did drop you for this other girl? How would that make you feel? It's not fair to either one off them. If he loves her her loves her. Let it go and move on. Your still so young you will find someone else. And just remember, what goes around comes back around, 10 fold. Good luck!

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (16 January 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntYou should leave this alone. Move on with your life, if he's ever gets interested he'll look you up.

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