My fiance's butt stinks....how do I tell him?
Q. I have been dating my fiance for four years now. And theres this small little issue that KILLS me, and grosses me out and i dont know how to tell him without it hurting his feelings. I'm really embarassed to talk about this, but...something needs to ...
A. 26 July 2011: Stop "playfully" telling him.
Come out and directly tell him that his hygiene offends you and you are turned off sexually.
If he still does nothing about it...put up with it or break up with him.
... (read in full...)
Do I tell my guy friend that his girlfriend is a complete tramp and people are laughing at him behind his back because he is dating her?
Q. I have a male friend who has been dating this woman for about the last 6 months seriously. He and I had a past, but now we really are just friends and it is cool. He has always been hesitant about relationships since he was burned by who he thought ...
A. 26 July 2011: Stay out of it. It is none of your business. You would be basing your discussion on rumours.
He is a grown up and does not need your protection.... (read in full...)
How do I get the confidence back?
Q. Hi there, I am female age 30 and had quite a few sexual partners (most of these in relationships), I used to be pretty good at sex, but I had one bad experience and it really put me off and made me not want to do it for ages. The last time I did,...
A. 26 July 2011: I do not think we need to know the exact sexual details of what went wrong, because I believe this to be a mental/emotional roadblock to getting intimate again.
If I am right, you are asking how do you feel that charged, sexy, craving, superwom... (read in full...)
How do I get the confidence back?
Q. Hi there, I am female age 30 and had quite a few sexual partners (most of these in relationships), I used to be pretty good at sex, but I had one bad experience and it really put me off and made me not want to do it for ages. The last time I did,...
A. 26 July 2011: I do not think we need to know the exact sexual details of what went wrong, because I believe this to be a mental/emotional roadblock to getting intimate again.
If I am right, you are asking how do you feel that charged, sexy, craving, superwom... (read in full...)
How do I make it clear that I want him to take my virginity?
Q. I have the most lovely boyfriend and we have been dating for a while now. We can get a bit frisky when we are alone and I know that we work together. The thing is that I would like to move it to the next level and would like to do "the deed". The ...
A. 26 July 2011: Whoa, what is the rush sweetie?
If this boy truly cares for you, let him come to that moment on his own terms. We get a lot of girls on Cupid who are pressured by their boyfriends to have sex when they are not ready. What do we tell them?
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend admitted he's 25,000 in debt and now I'm freaking out!
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years and I have been talking about moving in together in the next few months. We've already put deposits down on some bigger furniture items. We both work full time and last year we started a business together which has been s...
A. 26 July 2011: It is smart of you to ask him to see where the money went.
You want to know his current spending habits. The fact that he does not know HOW he got in debt is disturbing.
If he does not know how he got there, how will he know to prevent it fr... (read in full...)
Pressure over lending money to my fiance, please help!
Q. Hi, I need advice. Basically I am engaged (have been for a year now). I am working part time at my dad’s shop and generally trying to make money for the future. My girlfriend has been unemployed for about 2 years, she has tried her best to get a job ...
A. 25 July 2011: Oh boo hoo.
Poor little baby Princess Spoiledatlot did not get her pony?
Send her back to her Mummy, Daddy and Grandad who have pampered her.
Get a girl who carries her own weight and has her priorities straight.... (read in full...)
Have you ever left someone even though you loved them deeply, since you just had different beliefs?
Q. I come from a big family. We were very close but I feel a little far from them now. My boyfriend was an only child. There is a birthday at least every 2 months in the family, and especially if it's the kids we like to have a party. There are also...
A. 25 July 2011: Ok he changed his tune after he saw you packing?
Darling, he is manipulating your feelings.
You DID choose your family over him, because your family was the better of the two! You did nothing wrong.
You DID not disrespect him and you have no ... (read in full...)
I think I only stay with my boyfriend because I have very low self esteem
Q. Dear Cupid, please can you help me, sorry about the long letter. This is the first time I am telling anyone about this. Ok, so I come from a background where my parents had a very volatile and unstable relationship, growing up in my house hold...
A. 25 July 2011: Sweetie, when someone does not treat you right, you MUST love yourself MORE than him.... (read in full...)
Do women look too ?
Q. A question that will ignite a debate, we men although may have the most beautiful wife/girlfriend but we keep on looking at other women, we don't get enough! although we may be having the best woman...Are women like us in nature, do they look at men ...
A. 25 July 2011: Sure, why not? I am still alive and the hormones still flow.
I just do not ACT on my impuslive looking:)
I have a saying "Just because you are on a diet, does not mean you can not look at the menu once in awhile...I just do not order!"
I hav... (read in full...)
I hate my in-laws! What should I do?
Q. OK. This question is for anyone who has in law problems. I can't stand my in laws!!! They have never been really nice people . I'd love it if we never had to see them again! But that's not an option. Despite the problems with them, my hubby won't ...
A. 25 July 2011: You have a husband problem. If the In Laws interfere with your marriage or your family life where it ruins the peace and function, speak up to your hubby and let him know that either HE can deal with his parents or YOU will.
Pick your battles ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if he wants to take things further?
Q. what do you do when you feel like your bf's wants to do a ''home run '' on you??, and especially, what do you do in the case that your not ready to do that??, ( i think we've already done second base ... should that be a sign that he wants to go ...
A. 25 July 2011: Unless a boy tells you that he is saving himself until marriage, he IS going to want to do a "homerun". There is no sign, but YOU need to be comfortable with stating your boundaries and speak UP about them. Be ok with saying NO if you are not... (read in full...)
Should I avoid going to his house?
Q. I got invited on a date with this guy and I'm meeting him at his house. He said we could have some fun and I put my foot down, he said he wouldn't try to make me do anything I didn't wanna do. He says he doesn't want anything serious and only a bit ...
A. 25 July 2011: You should not go.
You are nervous and scared. Listen to your instincts.
He has already TOLD you he wants to be sexual, who knows if he will keep his word and respect your boundaries.
You do not sound like you can trust him, so is that so... (read in full...)
I took the coat to her, so surely she should be the one to travel to return it to me?
Q. I am hoping you could give me some objectivity here. You see my gf and I broke up a few months ago. It was an ugly break up. A lot of wounds. Still, there is anger and resentment on both sides. Now, while we were dating I lent her an expensive coa...
A. 25 July 2011: The "rules" changed after you broke up. She is being fair at this point.
Stop being a baby and get the coat. It means more to you than her. She is being reasonable with the half-way point.
Just make it quick and simple as possible.... (read in full...)
I didnt get any closure, why did he do this?
Q. Has anyone else here ever felt this way ?. I was seeing a guy for two months, and he stopped contacting me in May. I am 27, and he is 50. The age gap didn't bother me though, and it didn't seem to bother him. The last time i had a night out with ...
A. 25 July 2011: This man is not worth your lamentation and he is not going to give you the closure you need.
But YOU can give yourself the closure you need by acknowledging a few things about him.
*He IS a coward!
*He left you in a bar with friends, bu... (read in full...)
My boyfriend earns more than me, should he pay for more once we buy a house together?
Q. Hi. I have just had an interesting conversation with my colleague. I am about to buy a house with my bf of 18 months. He has fronted the 10% deposit for the house as he has managed to save really well over the last couple of years whereas I am c**p ...
A. 25 July 2011: I say stick with the 50/50. It is only fair.
I have read some advice on this regarding if one person makes more. But the person who makes more, should be SAVING more, not spending more.
Both of you should be contributing equally to the e... (read in full...)
I think I only stay with my boyfriend because I have very low self esteem
Q. Dear Cupid, please can you help me, sorry about the long letter. This is the first time I am telling anyone about this. Ok, so I come from a background where my parents had a very volatile and unstable relationship, growing up in my house hold...
A. 25 July 2011: You might be suprised how much your self esteem IS raised when you do something good for yourself.
Being alone is MUCH better than being with someone who hurts you.
I asked myself...am I better off with or without him.
... (read in full...)
He wants to have sex with me, but not have to look at me or kiss me, what is his deal?
Q. Dear all, he wants to have sex with me but he does not want to kiss me! I fell ?in love with a guy I met for a month in a hall i was staying for a short visit. He is 29 and I am 30 years old. He initiated the friendship; he used to come and watch TV ...
A. 24 July 2011: I think he was telling you the truth. He is ok with using your body, but not having any kind of real emotional connection with you.
You did the right thing by telling him no.
I actually told a man years ago, "Thank you for your offer of using m... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I've gotten into another relationship where I am not going to be put first!
Q. Help me, I need advice - due to my past relationships with my mother, ex-husband and ex-BFs I'm worried I've gotten myself in yet another relationship where I'm not appreciated and loved as much as I should be. Due to that feeling I want to cut and ...
A. 24 July 2011: I have learned that ANYTIME you compare yourself to a person in your love's past relationships, you will obsess on them. Remember, it is a past relationship and if it was so great-he would still be with them.
You want to focus on your bf's act... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I've gotten into another relationship where I am not going to be put first!
Q. Help me, I need advice - due to my past relationships with my mother, ex-husband and ex-BFs I'm worried I've gotten myself in yet another relationship where I'm not appreciated and loved as much as I should be. Due to that feeling I want to cut and ...
A. 24 July 2011: Adults should not run away in relationships when it does not meet their needs.
Talk with him about what you feel is missing.
Find out if you are unrealistic in your needs or really being swept under the rug.
Best Wishes.... (read in full...)
My family wants me to dump my BF b/c he is a Veg. How do I handle this?
Q. Dear, Cupid, My mom wants me to break up with my boyfriend because he is a vegitarian. I don't mind making meatless meals at all. I don't miss meat and he does not care if I cook and eat meat when I want to do so. It is not like he pressures ...
A. 24 July 2011: What? Does your family work for the American Beef Council or something?
Ignore Mom. If you have a veggie bf that is good to you and fits in YOUR life, that is all that matters.
You can always learn a few passive-aggressie responses like
... (read in full...)
I think I only stay with my boyfriend because I have very low self esteem
Q. Dear Cupid, please can you help me, sorry about the long letter. This is the first time I am telling anyone about this. Ok, so I come from a background where my parents had a very volatile and unstable relationship, growing up in my house hold...
A. 24 July 2011: Dear Sonia,
You have two opposite forces here. One is your inner voice saying that you ARE attractive, sweet, lovely, intelligent, etc.
Another is an external force to discourage you from believing that truth.
You know this man is no good... (read in full...)
She is a snake and a liar, now she wants to ruin my life again. What do I do?
Q. my ex-sister in-law had an affair with my ex-husband while we were still married - now after i have been divorced for 10 years, my ex-sister in-law is now dating my new father-in-law (i remarried in 2006) and he is recently widowed (december 2010) ...
A. 23 July 2011: That is creepy that she would be dating your new Father in Law!
She can not ruin your life, because she is not dating YOU or YOUR SPOUSE. However, your new husband could speak to his Dad and say.."Pops, that gal is a skank!".
Your Father i... (read in full...)
Did he really cheat on me?
Q. Hello! I am a female, 39 years old. My husband and i have been together over 23 years. We started dating at 16, and married at 25. I never cheated on him, and I believe he never cheated on me. We grew up together, experienced all,and we were so ...
A. 23 July 2011: You know he had an EMOTIONAL affair with her, but what you are wanting to know is if he had a PHYSICAL relationship with her too?
You feel betrayed but from what you shared, he feels justified that he had this intimate "friendship" with her.
... (read in full...)
Would you remain friends with an ex who was unfaithful and disrespectful towards you?
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend about 3 months ago because I felt she was not loyal to me. She wanted to spend a lot of time with her three times ex boyfriend whom she claimed they are just friends. She was also spending a lot of time with another ...
A. 22 July 2011: I was in your shoes about 6 mos ago. The man I was dating for 6 mos told me he forgot that he made plans with a friend the weekend we were supposed to go out.
Then it came out that she was his ex gf that just recently became available again. ... (read in full...)
He disappeared after our second date...and I miss him so much I cry myself to sleep!
Q. I dated someone twice. Then, he disappeared - he didn't make contact with me after the second date. I haven't seen / heard from him for 2 weeks now. I'm disappointed and confused. I'm too embarrassed to call him because the last time we met (2nd...
A. 21 July 2011: You described a situation where you feel more embarrassed than anything. You are feeling dissapointment.
I would say you have a "faux" bonding with this man. You only went out with him twice, and having sex with him made you feel closer to him e... (read in full...)
My boyfriend admitted he's 25,000 in debt and now I'm freaking out!
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years and I have been talking about moving in together in the next few months. We've already put deposits down on some bigger furniture items. We both work full time and last year we started a business together which has been s...
A. 21 July 2011: I would insist that he show you all his financial records and put it out all on the table before you make any more decisions regarding your personal life and business ties with him.
As others have mentioned, to reveal this NOW is a big red flag... (read in full...)
Why is it me that has to arrange everything and do all the chasing?
Q. Hi, Ive been seeing this women for 4 weeks now. We have been out on several dates (ice skating, dinner, theme park) and I have arranged another where we will go horse riding for an hour or so. The thing is I quite like her, but it seams as ...
A. 21 July 2011: Do not sit back and do nothing. TALK to her.
Just say "Hey, I am running out of ideas for our dates. Would you like to plan one next time?"
Or plan out a day where you pick the activity, but she picks the resturaunt. Someone who is not used ... (read in full...)
Is it too much to expect the man who wants to marry me to treat me to a gift once-in-a-while?
Q. I’m trying to figure something out concerning my relationship with my boyfriend of two years. We don’t live in the same town and see each other at weekends. We get along well, he does housework, he cooks, he calls me in his lunch hour just to say h...
A. 21 July 2011: I do not think it is really the "thing" that would be purchased/given that really matters to you.
I think you are looking for meaning and acknoweldgement as his current partner. You want to feel special.
That is normal. Is he showing you that... (read in full...)
Why are so many women so selfish? Even the great ones we love dearly!
Q. MY question is why do women expect us men to give them everything and anything they want that makes them happy, but they won't give us the simplest thing to make us happy; a blow job!? We go to all sorts of lengths, taking an interest in your...
A. 21 July 2011: OP, but maybe the way YOU ask your wife you do not have the intention of coming across as demanding, impatient,etc.
Maybe that is not what is in your heart. But, it may be the way you are perceived. You can no blame her or others for thinking... (read in full...)
She invited me to stay with her in the past, how do I remind her of that?
Q. What is going on with my friend ?. I live in England, and she lives in Norway ( Although, she isn't from there originally ). We have been intouch online for a few years now, but we have only met in person once. We know each other because we like the ...
A. 20 July 2011: She already let you know she has company.
You already "hinted" at needing a place to stay.
She let you know by silence that she was not extending an invite to you.
Let it be or find a friend to split costs of a cheap rental room or a hostel.... (read in full...)
I hate her, and want revenge for what she did to me...what do I do with these feelings?
Q. Hi Aunts, Long story short, a woman I met lied to me, took money from me, and treated me like dirt. She refuses to acknowledge she did anything wrong. I gave her about $5000 because she said she was in dire need. She led me on. Turns out she was ...
A. 20 July 2011: Unfortunately, I doubt revenge will make you feel better long term.
You might feel high for a short while, but you could also get yourself in trouble depending on what you have planned.
I would suggest you speak to a lawyer to see if you have ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend agrees that I love him more than he loves me. Anyone have any thoughts on this?
Q. Hi. Here is my thing. It transpires that I love my bf more than he loves me. We have discussed this and we mainly have just acknowledged that I do seem to love him in a more intense way then he loves me. Don’t get me wrong; he does love me. He goes ...
A. 20 July 2011: I think men and women love DIFFERENTLY.
Since LOVE can not be really measured, how can you say who loves WHO more?
The love becomes a contest of who can "one up" the other or keeps score of who was more intense in the love department today... (read in full...)
He's slapped me during sex. Do I need to be concerned about this sort of behaviour?
Q. Do men who like to slap women during sex have an anger issue? my boyfriend is a loving caring man but sometimes he likes to slap my backside which i don't mind during sex as i find it a turn on,but a couple of times he has just up and slapped me a...
A. 20 July 2011: It is wrong if YOU do not like it.
He should have asked you OUTSIDE the bedroom if you were willing to participate in rougher sex and what your limits were!
... (read in full...)
Why are so many women so selfish? Even the great ones we love dearly!
Q. MY question is why do women expect us men to give them everything and anything they want that makes them happy, but they won't give us the simplest thing to make us happy; a blow job!? We go to all sorts of lengths, taking an interest in your...
A. 20 July 2011: Well, that was quite a vent!
Dear Blowless,
Not all women are alike. Not all men are alike.
Some women LOVE giving oral pleasure. Some hate it.
Some men LOVE giving oral pleasure. Some men hate it.
Neither gender DESERVES or is OWED the p... (read in full...)
Is it domestic abuse if my husband yells at me? my kids and I get very upset by it.
Q. From the outside, my life seems perfect. I am in my late 30's and have been married for 15 plus years. My husband and myself have advanced degrees, demanding careers, and 2 beautiful children. I am just wondering if it is verbal abuse if my ...
A. 20 July 2011: Yes, he is verbally abusing and intimidating his family.
He is also an OLD FASHIONED BULLY.
Your son spoke wisdom! He does not understand WHY Daddy yells so much.
There is no reason to yell to get his point across if he communicates more eff... (read in full...)
He said it was "unofficial," what does that mean?
Q. he said it was "unofficial" and i don't know what thats supposed to mean,i want to ask him about it but i don't want to make it awkward between us or make him feel pressured. we joke around all the time about getting married and he asks me if there ...
A. 20 July 2011: You will have to ask HIM what that means to HIM.
Just ask.."Hey, I do not know what unofficial means, and I want to make sure I understand."
Bring it up when you have a quiet moment to the two of you. You will know when it feels ok to brin... (read in full...)
Is there some way of solving this problem?
Q. my nipples are huge. they are about 6cm across and they come out at 2 cm, 4 when aroused. i have small boobs anyway and it looks ridiculous. ive only found out theyre weird cause i have recently seen some of my friends boobs and there nipples are ...
A. 20 July 2011: Without plastic surgery, you are going to have to live with them.
Breasts, Nipples, and BODIES all come in different shapes and sizes. You are normal.
... (read in full...)
I know I need counseling to end the affair, help!
Q. Dear cupid, I cannot cut off my relationship w/ this man whom I'm having an affair for 9 months now. I started seeing him back n nov of 2010 then worst of all the wife got pregnant n jan of this year. I am a married woman myself and not proud of ...
A. 20 July 2011: What would you do if you were addicted to alcohol and getting so drunk every day that you hurt yourself badly every day? What would you do, knowing it was making you sicker and sicker as each day went by?
You are addicted to HIM. No one can reac... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my friends who delve too much into my personal life?
Q. I have a friend of mine that I can talk to anything about, but I can't stand talking to him about my sexual past with women. Whether it be from a simple kiss, to sleeping with someone. He asks more questions and gets into detail and kind of has a ...
A. 19 July 2011: You need to come up with an arsenal of "disarming" responses that let him know he is being nosy, rude, etc.
Get comfortable with them by practicing saying them in a mirror.
"Gentlemen do not say"
"Why do you need to know?"
"That is reall... (read in full...)
Trapped in a sexless marriage for almost 20 years, wife won't have sex and won't say why she doesn't want to. Should I leave?
Q. I have been with my wife for almost 20 years now. We have had a sexless marriage for most of that time. We were arguing about it even just 1 year into the relationship. It's not that we never, ever have sex, but we go years in-between having i...
A. 19 July 2011: Your post really spoke to me. You are right where I was about 5 years ago. The majority of my 18 yr marriage was sexless.
For my ex in the early years, sex was about two things.
1-Tension release for him
2-Procreation.
I realized late... (read in full...)
Have you ever left someone even though you loved them deeply, since you just had different beliefs?
Q. I come from a big family. We were very close but I feel a little far from them now. My boyfriend was an only child. There is a birthday at least every 2 months in the family, and especially if it's the kids we like to have a party. There are also...
A. 18 July 2011: Good for you sweetie.
If you will be returning just to collect your things, make sure you have someone with you!
Sadly, this man has isolated you so much, that he has made you dependant on him for your self worth.
Start taking it back.... (read in full...)
Have you ever left someone even though you loved them deeply, since you just had different beliefs?
Q. I come from a big family. We were very close but I feel a little far from them now. My boyfriend was an only child. There is a birthday at least every 2 months in the family, and especially if it's the kids we like to have a party. There are also...
A. 18 July 2011: Wanted to add something that I had to learn the hard way.
"Peace at ANY price, is no peace at all"
This man abuses you and will continue to abuse you as long as you give him the permission to do so. You permitting him is his only REAL power.... (read in full...)
Have you ever left someone even though you loved them deeply, since you just had different beliefs?
Q. I come from a big family. We were very close but I feel a little far from them now. My boyfriend was an only child. There is a birthday at least every 2 months in the family, and especially if it's the kids we like to have a party. There are also...
A. 18 July 2011: He sounds very controlling.
Making you eat meat for the children you might have? HUH?
Does he think this will impair your ability to conceive or raise children?
He has EVERY right in the world to back out of plans for HIMSELF, but to dema... (read in full...)
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