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He's slapped me during sex. Do I need to be concerned about this sort of behaviour?

Tagged as: Dating, Health, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 July 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 22 July 2011)
A female Australia age , anonymous writes:

Do men who like to slap women during sex have an anger issue?

my boyfriend is a loving caring man but sometimes he likes to slap my backside which i don't mind during sex as i find it a turn on,but a couple of times he has just up and slapped me across the face during sex.

It has been hard enough to not leave marks on my face from his hand. I'm not sure if this is something i should be worried about or not?

Should i be concerned that he might get carried away with this sort of stuff or has he an anger issue.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2011):

It's unlikely an anger issue. But, you should never allow him to do something you don't want him too. You must talk to him about this.

Slapping a woman's ass is not uncommon and a lot of us like it (sometimes). Slapping the face is not something I could ever like, but horses for courses. Again, it comes down to what you like and don't like.

Talk to him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2011):

Okay I think he was either trying to tell u to go harder or that he was enjoying it! I don't think it was anger and I don't think he meant to hit so hard to leave a mark! Maybe u should sit down and talk to him about it!

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A female reader, RedAthena United States +, writes (20 July 2011):

RedAthena agony auntIt is wrong if YOU do not like it.

He should have asked you OUTSIDE the bedroom if you were willing to participate in rougher sex and what your limits were!

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A male reader, Ronnie70 United Kingdom +, writes (20 July 2011):

Ronnie70 agony auntI doubt it has anything to do with anger, probably more like the result of seeing this sort of thing done in porn films and such like. Personally, I don't think it's acceptable behaviour; I'd never hit or slap a woman under any circumstances.

The bottom line is that if you don't like it or feel uncomfortable about it you have to tell him so, and that he must stop it.

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A female reader, dmartin89 United Kingdom +, writes (20 July 2011):

dmartin89 agony auntThis isn't an anger issue, he likes to be the dominant in sex and you to be the submissive, and slapping is his way of exerting his power.

If you don't feel comfortable with this, then tell him! Otherwise he will probably think that you like it!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011):

If it makes you feel bad / uncomfortable then you need to tell him. You need to be strong about this because you need to understand why he is doing it. It might be a bondage type of thing - maybe he likes inflicting that kind of thing - though it could be more anger related. Are there any other 'red flag' signs in your relationship? Bullying, dominance, abuse of any kind? Best to have a chat with him and say you are not sure you like it and ask him what he is feeling when he does it. Of course it might be as simple as he has seen someone do this in a porn film and has decided to try it out with you. Communication is key.

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