A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Help me, I need advice - due to my past relationships with my mother, ex-husband and ex-BFs I'm worried I've gotten myself in yet another relationship where I'm not appreciated and loved as much as I should be. Due to that feeling I want to cut and run after being in a relationship for 8 months. My past is filled with people I loved and who said they loved me but they blatantly put themselves and others ahead of me. Is it me, is it them....what do I do? Just stay single and give up on love? In so sad and confused. Help me find the way please. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2011): Hi. With respect. If your past is filled with people who did not love or appreciate you enough. Then I'm inclined to think it might be something about you. Try a good read called Why Men Love Bitches....Doormat to Dreamgirl. It is enlightening and will definitely help you understand how to hold your own in a relationship. I read it and acted on the advice and it changed things for me in a positive way. Give it a try.
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (24 July 2011):
 I have learned that ANYTIME you compare yourself to a person in your love's past relationships, you will obsess on them. Remember, it is a past relationship and if it was so great-he would still be with them.
You want to focus on your bf's actions towards YOU and not in comparison to anyone else to see how he/you measures up.
Watch his actions, not always his words. If his actions do not meet up with his words, then yes you have an issue.
Pick your issues carefully on stuff that REALLY matters. Address DEALBREAKERS. You might come across as being petty to him that you do not feel special enough.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): http://sdward.com/narcissistic-personality-disorder/
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): I dont wanna seem anti,because i am not. Have you ever thought about not thinking about being put 1st,3rd,or joint 4th? Why are you in competition? If you ever meet someone who thinks like you,it may show rather a different argument. I dont know whether i am 1st,middle or last. I dont think about that. On the odd occasion I may feel like you,but I then think me feeling good,it is not anyone elses responsibility,it is mine. I have no sense of entitlement,unreasonable expectations or demand favorable treatment or automatic compliance with my expectations.
...............................
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (24 July 2011):
Adults should not run away in relationships when it does not meet their needs.
Talk with him about what you feel is missing.
Find out if you are unrealistic in your needs or really being swept under the rug.
Best Wishes.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do live myself after much work and therapy, the issue the BF has said he loves me but does things that contradict that statement. Making me feel insignificant/unimportant/not as great as the past GFs. Do I just come out and tell him that or just leave his clueless ass without a word?
...............................
A
female
reader, MaySpring +, writes (24 July 2011):
You need to build your confidence to a point where your happy with yourself. After this, you should find another boyfriend who will make you feel good about yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and list the things that you love about yourself.
...............................
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (24 July 2011):
 maybe your past disappointments have left you feeling overly needy and this will give your new partner a high standard to try to attain. talk to him about it. maybe he IS being selfish, or maybe you are just being unrealistic. discuss your worries with him, don't just run away
x
...............................
|
