Have you ever left someone even though you loved them deeply, since you just had different beliefs?
Q. I come from a big family. We were very close but I feel a little far from them now. My boyfriend was an only child. There is a birthday at least every 2 months in the family, and especially if it's the kids we like to have a party. There are also...
A. 25 July 2011: Ok he changed his tune after he saw you packing?
Darling, he is manipulating your feelings.
You DID choose your family over him, because your family was the better of the two! You did nothing wrong.
You DID not disrespect him and you have no ... (read in full...)
Trapped in a sexless marriage for almost 20 years, wife won't have sex and won't say why she doesn't want to. Should I leave?
Q. I have been with my wife for almost 20 years now. We have had a sexless marriage for most of that time. We were arguing about it even just 1 year into the relationship. It's not that we never, ever have sex, but we go years in-between having i...
A. 19 July 2011: Your post really spoke to me. You are right where I was about 5 years ago. The majority of my 18 yr marriage was sexless.
For my ex in the early years, sex was about two things.
1-Tension release for him
2-Procreation.
I realized late... (read in full...)
I feel like he's bringing things he's seen in porn into our bedroom
Q. I'm getting concerned. I feel my boyfriends' porn viewing is coming into our bedroom. On one hand, we have this amazing sex life, but on the other, I am noticing more and more that its taking a LOT to get him off, if he does at all. He does not ...
A. 19 July 2011: I think you have to give him credit for TRYING new things, but he failed majorly by not discussing them with you before hand or afterwards to see if that was OK with you!
I agree with others, you have to open up your communication outside the bedr... (read in full...)
I havent spoken to my boyfriend since May! What should I do?
Q. my boyfriend is ignoring me he actually went to the extent of blocking me from his facebook account he doesnt call nor txt nor email he is just silent we didnt break up he turn up when he make an appointment to see me and after all this im also rel...
A. 19 July 2011: I would say he is no longer your bf. He took a cowardly way out.
Ignore him and move on to someone who has more respect for you.... (read in full...)
Somewhere along the line he decided he didnt want a relationship but is still trying to string me along.
Q. About 5 months i started seeing this guy i met through a mutual friend. When we first met he chased me so hard and it took a little convincing before i just let go and went for it. As i was trying to get over previously being mucked around by ...
A. 18 July 2011: That guy is looking for a FWB darling. If that is not what you wanted, then you should have let him know UP FRONT before Sex if he was wanting more than a roll in the sheets.
He would have been leading you on IF he let you know that he wanted y... (read in full...)
I helped him to get back on his feet and he repays me by cheating on me!
Q. I know I can never tell anyone this because its too disgusting and bizarre but when I graduated high school, maybe the stress of the transition, I became interested in a homeless man. I know its horrible and disgusting and just wrong, I helped him ...
A. 18 July 2011: Judge him for his current charachter, not his previous homelessness.
Yes you were exteremely generous, encouraging and loving to get him going in life again. That life is NOW his.
That is great, but does he OWE you for that help, or should ... (read in full...)
Newly married and having sex problems already!
Q. My husband and I have been married since April of 2011 and I am the experienced one and he was not he has come a long way but he can't seem to handle me wanting sex every day I used to like it multiple times a day. I am ok with getting it once a day ...
A. 18 July 2011: Did you wait until you were married to have sex with him?
Has it always been this way?
I am going to give you the same advice that I give men in this predicament.
That is your SPOUSE. He is not your personal sex vending machine. Your s... (read in full...)
My GF is a massive cheater and now she wants to keep me out of my daughters life! What kind of person is she??
Q. I met my girlfriend in May 5th, 2006 the day her husband went to vacation in the carribean. We had sex the same day, she has told me they were heading to splitville. When her husband came back from Haiti, I was at the airport and I saw them kis...
A. 18 July 2011: Your post reminds me of a story I grew up with:
A Cherokee Legend
The little boy was walking down a path and he came across a rattlesnake. He asked, "Please little boy, can you take me to the top of the mountain? I hope to see the sunset one l... (read in full...)
Is he reducing contact because he is losing interest?
Q. I have been dating a guy for nearly five months and up until the last few days all has been going really well. He has always been really good at initiating contact and texts me loads of times in the day. He will regularly text me to tell me what he'...
A. 18 July 2011: Are you in a LDR? How often do you get to see eachother and spend some real quality filled time? Did you always text more than talk?
Every relationship has a time where it "dies back" but does not necessarily mean its over. This could just be ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if he's verbally abusive? He's always so angry.
Q. How do you tell if you are being verberly abused by your husband??? Also when we are out with other people he ignores me and doesnt include me in conversation. He is under a great deal of stress. He owns three rest/bars and has several ...
A. 18 July 2011: Two issues here.
Verbal NEGLECT-disregarding you entirely and not including you in the conversation.
Verbal abuse, which I do not see an example of in your post, includes yelling, name calling, intimidation, manipulation, deflamation of c... (read in full...)
I'm inexperienced sexually compared to my wife. How can I know if I'm satisfying her?
Q. I recently got married, and I don't have a lot of sexual experience for my age (early 30s). Although my wife has quite a bit of experience sexually, we didn't have sex before marriage because she decided awhile back to abstain until marriage. Due ...
A. 18 July 2011: You are wondering if you COMPARE more than if you are satisfying her. You know you do.
Trust that she is happy. If she is good about speaking up about anything that is important to her, she would be comfortable with asking for more or differen... (read in full...)
Husband of 17 years left last week, already wants our kids to meet his girlfriend!
Q. My husband of 17 years left me last week and the children (aged 12 and 14) were naturally upset. Well me too, but this question is about them, not me. He has moved in with another woman, who he apparently met in the pub about 2 months ago - she...
A. 18 July 2011: Get a lawyer and quick.
He is off his rocker if he thinks he is going to introduce a new Mother figure into your childrens lives this soon.
You should be livid. Find your inner warrior princess and defend your children's wishes.
Did t... (read in full...)
Have you ever left someone even though you loved them deeply, since you just had different beliefs?
Q. I come from a big family. We were very close but I feel a little far from them now. My boyfriend was an only child. There is a birthday at least every 2 months in the family, and especially if it's the kids we like to have a party. There are also...
A. 18 July 2011: Good for you sweetie.
If you will be returning just to collect your things, make sure you have someone with you!
Sadly, this man has isolated you so much, that he has made you dependant on him for your self worth.
Start taking it back.... (read in full...)
Pardon, your slip is showing!
Q. My Aunt has recently given me some brand new 1960s style underwear which includes some waist slips with pleated hems one black, one brown and one white.I could not resist wearing them and these slips are absolutely gorgeous and when the pleats of ...
A. 18 July 2011: It sounds like a really cute fashion statement. (Much like a pretty petticoat "peeking" out of the hem).
I would save that look for a dress up out on the town, a date, etc. Such looks do not belong in the office.
Use it for "party wear". I... (read in full...)
How do you say sorry to your partner for not being there when they needed you?
Q. Which is the best way to say sorry to your gf/bf when for not being available in their time of need??? I know some things are just not forget but how can we make it little less hurting for them. I feel really bad for caring less for the person w...
A. 18 July 2011: The best way is to tell them in person. If you can not, a nice, handwritten letter.
If you talk to them in person, let it be somewhere peaceful and quiet where you will not be interrupted.
Speak from the heart. "I wanted you to know that I have... (read in full...)
Does anyone have a clue of what his intentions might be?
Q. Hello, I am new to the site, and have a question regarding a new date I had. I met this man online, who seems to have the qualifications I want a potential mate to have. We met once last month at a restaurant. It went quite well. He gave m...
A. 18 July 2011: RE: online dating companies that focus on personality matching. Check out sites like Eharmony.com or Match.com.
Keep in mind there are NO PERFECT dating sites! People will misrepresent themselves on ANY site. You need to read up a lot on datin... (read in full...)
Have you ever left someone even though you loved them deeply, since you just had different beliefs?
Q. I come from a big family. We were very close but I feel a little far from them now. My boyfriend was an only child. There is a birthday at least every 2 months in the family, and especially if it's the kids we like to have a party. There are also...
A. 18 July 2011: Wanted to add something that I had to learn the hard way.
"Peace at ANY price, is no peace at all"
This man abuses you and will continue to abuse you as long as you give him the permission to do so. You permitting him is his only REAL power.... (read in full...)
What did this married man mean when he described his relationship to me?
Q. "Being Married but not to each other" When a married man say this about his marriage, what does it exactly mean?...
A. 18 July 2011: You made your choices based on the the knowledge he gave you.
You are not to blame here.
Now that you know the truth, base your emotions and choices on that. You have a right to be made, angry, etc.
Trust me, his wife will find out event... (read in full...)
Have you ever left someone even though you loved them deeply, since you just had different beliefs?
Q. I come from a big family. We were very close but I feel a little far from them now. My boyfriend was an only child. There is a birthday at least every 2 months in the family, and especially if it's the kids we like to have a party. There are also...
A. 18 July 2011: He sounds very controlling.
Making you eat meat for the children you might have? HUH?
Does he think this will impair your ability to conceive or raise children?
He has EVERY right in the world to back out of plans for HIMSELF, but to dema... (read in full...)
Does anyone have a clue of what his intentions might be?
Q. Hello, I am new to the site, and have a question regarding a new date I had. I met this man online, who seems to have the qualifications I want a potential mate to have. We met once last month at a restaurant. It went quite well. He gave m...
A. 18 July 2011: I know it seems really awkward, but BECAUSE you want to find a meaningful relationship, do not pin yourself down to just ONE guy unless there is a clear interest in mutual exclusivity.
I know a lot of women feel really weird dating more than one... (read in full...)
What do I do after I get a girl's phone number?
Q. ok so three out of my four friends have girlfriends and i feel a little left out cause they've all got someone. i really want something but i am a little shy. one of my friends is in a band and i go to just about all of their gigs if i sss a girl ...
A. 18 July 2011: Call her and get to know her and her interests. Do something casual that you think she would enjoy!
Best Wishes.... (read in full...)
I have really fallen for him and it bothers me that he prefers to keep our relationship a secret.
Q. I’ve been seeing this man for nearly four months. He works in a bar that I used to frequent and one night I stayed there until late, all the people left and we were alone. Before all this happened, he was always flirting with me, smiling at me and I ...
A. 17 July 2011: You do not lack the strength. Strength comes from experience.
Our muscles get stronger because we use them, right?
WE get stronger with our courage with each time we excercise it.
You lack the experience to shut down someone who is not ... (read in full...)
Random Chat-Ups - What does they mean?
Q. This is just a bit of a general questioning and open for discussion on the topic of being chatted up.. As a female when men 'hit on you' in the street during the day or in a bar, do you think these types of men are ever genuine or are they the type...
A. 17 July 2011: You are over thinking it.
It takes a lot of courage to walk over for some of these guys and obviously you have something that is worthy of drawing them in.
Not all men are the same. Some flirt just for the enjoyable rush of flirting! It fee... (read in full...)
I.m in love with a gangster,but have to leave him?
Q. hi all. Plz help. I.ve got deeply involved with a criminal who also has loads of baggage. 4 kids,dodgy dealings etc.it started out as a bit of fun,and to give him credit,he did mention what he did,and is saying he,s putting the money into a legal ...
A. 17 July 2011: You have feelings for him, but he does not really make you happy! He makes you feel WANTED.
Happy and joyful are missing.
Keep in mind that if you are linked in relationship to this person, you could get sucked into all his drama, consequen... (read in full...)
Does anyone have a clue of what his intentions might be?
Q. Hello, I am new to the site, and have a question regarding a new date I had. I met this man online, who seems to have the qualifications I want a potential mate to have. We met once last month at a restaurant. It went quite well. He gave m...
A. 17 July 2011: Since I see that he did email you back and said he would get back to you-take it as a sign he is busy.
Right now, you do not have a relationship. YOU are still a free agent too.
From what you shared on your date, there is some chemistry, but y... (read in full...)
Please someone explain to me how I can let go, stop texting him and respect myself more?
Q. I am driving myself insane over my LDR on/off? thing. Basically, I met a guy from the army six months ago and fell for him. We decided to start a LDR. Last week he was on leave and came to stay with me for a few days. During this time I realised ...
A. 17 July 2011: Sometimes we have experiences where we are more in love with the IDEA of being in love, than in ACTUAL LOVE with a person. So along comes someone to fit the role in our love play and we give him the script to act out.
You realized that he is no... (read in full...)
I have really fallen for him and it bothers me that he prefers to keep our relationship a secret.
Q. I’ve been seeing this man for nearly four months. He works in a bar that I used to frequent and one night I stayed there until late, all the people left and we were alone. Before all this happened, he was always flirting with me, smiling at me and I ...
A. 17 July 2011: From everything you described, this guy sees you as a casual relationship and not girlfriend material.
Sorry.
A guy who is really into you and feels like you are a part of his life, is going to show you off to his closest mates. He will ... (read in full...)
What did this married man mean when he described his relationship to me?
Q. "Being Married but not to each other" When a married man say this about his marriage, what does it exactly mean?...
A. 17 July 2011: After what you shared,
This man was lying to you the entire time about his availability. He is not available for any serious/committed relationship, but he is more than ok having sex with no strings with you.
I hope you dropped the bum.... (read in full...)
What did this married man mean when he described his relationship to me?
Q. "Being Married but not to each other" When a married man say this about his marriage, what does it exactly mean?...
A. 17 July 2011: He is married, not single, and he is trying some fancy verbage to describe that he is "technically married".
... (read in full...)
Ex sent me an email saying "I hope your life is better now," Why?
Q. Why did my ex do this ?. We broke up a few months ago, but recently, he sent me a message saying " well , i hope your life is better and that you are happy, i really do ". I asked him why he had contacted me, but he said he just wanted to say that ...
A. 16 July 2011: Sometimes guys do the "I hope you are happy" comment to try and relieve their negative feelings about the past.
I would let it go. If he really regretted it and wanted to see if it could work again, he would have said and DONE more.
Trust a... (read in full...)
She believes rules don't apply to her because she is beautiful!!
Q. i was interested in a girl I met in the metro who is a model. she's not famous or anything but makes a living doing modeling...of course she is drop dead gorgeous. but she seemed approachable. so i got to talking with her. we went on a few dates a...
A. 15 July 2011: No, I know plenty of gorgeous people are even more beautiful on the inside.
You met a shallow chick. I would bet that her self-esteem is not that high and she is using people in a similiar way she is allowing herself to be "used".
She see... (read in full...)
A boyfriend who breaks plans and thinks I should be more flexible and "mature" about our separate lives.
Q. My boyfriend has broken plans with me two nights in a row after a show/performance he recently had. Everything was going quite well up til then. I kindly expressed to him some discomfort with him never introducing me as his girlfriend, even though ...
A. 15 July 2011: He is blowing you off.
"...the following two nights we had plans to meet for dinner and or movie. The first he bailed to watch a concert with some friends (one of which includes a girl who has a crush on him"
RIGHT THERE is a big probl... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I'm worried by his need to make more friends? He might meet new girls and think twice about our relationship!
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm in a long distance relationship with my bf. We're living in different parts of the world and could only see each other maybe 3-4 times a year. My bf is quite sociable, he gets along really well with everyone. I'm not that...
A. 15 July 2011: If he is social and does not have a group of people to hang out with to go to activities and events, it could make him feel lonely and very depressed.
Since you are more introverted and satisfied with your social life, you are fine with that.
... (read in full...)
How do you know if a guy will just use you for sex then leave?
Q. Dear Cupid...i would like to know how a woman knows a guy will leave you after you give him sex? Im in high school and as you all assume, guys are all after that. But in the world of "highschool", a guy will only wait for a girl for about 4-5 ...
A. 15 July 2011: The terminology you used "just give it up to him" shows that your heart and mind is not in it.
Never have sex with a guy just to keep him around. EVER.
If he has been around and wants to be with you, but seems upset that you have not been se... (read in full...)
Dating for a year and never gone on a "date" yet!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. We get along fine and time with just ourselves is great. We have never gone on a date yet. I've tried to plan 3 but always something came up with my bf and the date would be called off. Afte...
A. 15 July 2011: So your relationship is not public?
*Have you met each others families?
*What do you do when you spend time together?
*How does he acknowledge special occaisions, holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, or "just because"?
*How does he express ... (read in full...)
Psycho boyfriend broke up with me, stiffed me for money, now sends email to brother worried about my mental health? huh?
Q. Why is my ex-boyfriend of three years contacting my brother asking about me? He dumped me nine months ago. To say it was an ugly break-up is an understatement. He left me in a callous manner(at a destination wedding for my best friend). I was so ...
A. 15 July 2011: Since you are in the US, how about taking him to small claims court to recoup the $ he owes you? Im sure that would show him you are QUITE sane.
... (read in full...)
My ex is sending me mixed signals and tells me he needs a few years to figure out if he wants to stay married to me!
Q. My husband and I split up because he couldn't handle a stressful situation that we had no control over..he just couldn't step up to the plate and give support when needed. Now the situation is over, it is two months since I moved out and the whole ...
A. 15 July 2011: If this was MY situation.. Oh wait! I DID live this life! Except my ex moved out and I stayed, but all the behaviors you mentioned on your husband's part, my ex did that too.
What I would do again-get a counselor and go even if he will not. Te... (read in full...)
My ex is sending me mixed signals and tells me he needs a few years to figure out if he wants to stay married to me!
Q. My husband and I split up because he couldn't handle a stressful situation that we had no control over..he just couldn't step up to the plate and give support when needed. Now the situation is over, it is two months since I moved out and the whole ...
A. 15 July 2011: If this was MY situation.. Oh wait! I DID live this life! Except my ex moved out and I stayed, but all the behaviors you mentioned on your husband's part, my ex did that too.
What I would do again-get a counselor and go even if he will not. Te... (read in full...)
My ex is sending me mixed signals and tells me he needs a few years to figure out if he wants to stay married to me!
Q. My husband and I split up because he couldn't handle a stressful situation that we had no control over..he just couldn't step up to the plate and give support when needed. Now the situation is over, it is two months since I moved out and the whole ...
A. 15 July 2011: If this was MY situation.. Oh wait! I DID live this life! Except my ex moved out and I stayed, but all the behaviors you mentioned on your husband's part, my ex did that too.
What I would do again-get a counselor and go even if he will not. Te... (read in full...)
I found my dad's been surfing porn and maybe using escort services, what should I do now?
Q. I was on my dads computer and I found sexual escort websites...I also found pornography on his cell phone. I am really worried that he is using these escorts and really don't know what to do. I would rather not confront him but its one of those ...
A. 15 July 2011: You can privately talk to HIM about what you saw and how it disturbed you.
If you do not have permission to use your Dad's computer, be prepared that he might be angry.
Talking to him about it and why it bothered you privately would show a lot... (read in full...)
After our 3rd date I gave her a kiss goodnight... Did I come on too strongly?
Q. I've just got back from my 3rd date with a girl I like. We've had 2 highly successful dates and this 3rd one appeared to be no acception. We talked, laughed and had a nice evening, just like the previous two dates. But tonight I wanted to slip in ...
A. 15 July 2011: She does not want to open her heart to you too quickly.
Ask her out again soon, perhaps where YOU can pick her up or meet somewhere.
... (read in full...)
I told him I wanted to wait but he keeps trying it on! What should I do?
Q. Im aged 13-15, and i've been going out with my boyfriend for about 3 months,i'm still a virgin and i told my boyfriend i wanted to wait! but recently we were kissing and stuff and i had a short skirt on and he tried it on? Immediately i got up and s...
A. 14 July 2011: You need to talk to a trusted female family member who is older and has experience with relationships and dating.
Let her know what happened. ... (read in full...)
I told him I wanted to wait but he keeps trying it on! What should I do?
Q. Im aged 13-15, and i've been going out with my boyfriend for about 3 months,i'm still a virgin and i told my boyfriend i wanted to wait! but recently we were kissing and stuff and i had a short skirt on and he tried it on? Immediately i got up and s...
A. 14 July 2011: Yes, bf and gf's DO spend time together, but from what you just shared, this boy is looking to take advantage of you.
I understand what you mean by what normal teenagers wear,but if you are wearing a short skirt that your bf can reach under, y... (read in full...)
I told him I wanted to wait but he keeps trying it on! What should I do?
Q. Im aged 13-15, and i've been going out with my boyfriend for about 3 months,i'm still a virgin and i told my boyfriend i wanted to wait! but recently we were kissing and stuff and i had a short skirt on and he tried it on? Immediately i got up and s...
A. 14 July 2011: If you do not want to be worn down to do something you do not know IF you are ready for. Then dont.
Do not put yourself into situations that set up the scene to be groped, petted or undressed.
Do not be ALONE with him where either one of yo... (read in full...)
After our 3rd date I gave her a kiss goodnight... Did I come on too strongly?
Q. I've just got back from my 3rd date with a girl I like. We've had 2 highly successful dates and this 3rd one appeared to be no acception. We talked, laughed and had a nice evening, just like the previous two dates. But tonight I wanted to slip in ...
A. 14 July 2011: She did not pull away or looked shocked. She was ok with it.
How you handled it was very gentlemanly.
... (read in full...)
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