Am I being selfish in expecting him to come away for weekends without his elderly mother?
Q. Hi there I could really use some advice here. I have just turned 40 with 2 grown up children. I was single up until 3 months ago when i met this nice man. To give a bit of his background, 3 years ago he split up with the mother of his child, at th...
A. 22 August 2011: After reading your follow up, I wish I could give you a big hug!
That is a tough decision to come to, but I nodded when I read "look for a man who has his own house, not his own bedroom lol".
I had to break up with a man for similiar reasons... (read in full...)
Temporary Marriage-What do women think about it
Q. Hi! I need replies, thougtful replies from females. I am of Irish and Brazilian origin and a convert to Islam. I lived in the Middle East (dads job) for a long time, I have converted to Islam 7 years ago, married a nice Muslim lady 2 yea...
A. 13 August 2011: An answer is not irrational simply because it does not agree with you.
I am a Western, Non Muslim woman and gave you an objective opinion based on what I understand about the temporary marriage and your questions.
Just like you want to avoid a ... (read in full...)
After our split I feel trapped in our home
Q. i recently experienced a painful split im now feeling raw, trapped in our home we shared, i just dont want to be in the house at all! im feeling paranoid i try to relax but something or someone reminds me and its back to square one again, i feel let ...
A. 13 August 2011: I felt the same after my husband and I split. I got the house to raise the kids in and it is financially impossible to sell right now,....sooo
*I got a new bed, painted my bathroom a dif color, bought new sheets, and got new habits.
Start s... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be in a relationship when I know he's having sex with other women as his job?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 1 year and we love each other. i tried to hook up with him then because friends told me he was trying to get into the porn business so i thought he would be big. he is, trust me. he did not get an offer from ...
A. 12 August 2011: Sounds like a relationship dealbreaker.
While he would get tested regularly, he would be doing porns without condoms, right?
Did you want to be the one to spin the STD wheel and hope you do not catch anything he brought home with him?
You... (read in full...)
We cant go anywhere because he used to go to these places with his ex!
Q. My bf and I live in a small town, so there is only one cinema, one shopping cnetre etc. Now his ex also lives in the same small town (whereas I am from another city). Because him and his ex used to go to the cinema, shopping centre, coffee s...
A. 12 August 2011: I am suprised you put up with it for this long.
He is living (barely living!) in this self-imposed imprisionment and he expects you to suffer with him.
If it has not changed by now it is not going to.
If he can not make some sort of conces... (read in full...)
Am I his second choice? And is he out of line that he can't recall our first meeting?
Q. You know love at first sight? Well I just discovered my fiance doesn't even remember our first meeting. Is it out of line that that makes me feel bad? Clearly I can't have made any kind of impression on him! A common friend introduced us once, we ...
A. 12 August 2011: Breaking this down a bit:
1-fiance doesn't even remember our first meeting. Is it out of line that that makes me feel bad? Clearly I can't have made any kind of impression on him!
It is understanding to be dissapointed that he does not recall,... (read in full...)
I can't ask my Mother. I need to ask my Doctor. How can I get the courage to do this, And also get my Mother to listen to me without judging me?
Q. Please Help. I dont feel like i can go to my mum with any problems i have, in the past, told her stuff. One time i told her something. i never told anyone, i trusted her not to tell anyone. so I told her. Then i found out she had told her best frie...
A. 12 August 2011: *hugs
Moms are not meant to be best friends. Moms are meant to be caretakers first. If she feels that you are not making good decisions, she has a right as your Mother, to steer you towards better ones.
I am sure it hurts that your Mother betra... (read in full...)
How else can I live alone on my income if I break up with my unreliable boyfriend? Because I need to end this relationship now
Q. Dear Cupid, I fell in love with a drug and alcohol addict. We have been together for the past 5 years. He no longer does drugs nor drinks, to my knowledge (and he's always either at home or at work). However, he just keeps messing up... First...
A. 12 August 2011: ASAP
*You kick him out and get a roommate. Change the locks.
OR
*You move out and find someone decent who needs a roommate.
OR
*You move back home with family.
*Cancel your current debi... (read in full...)
He has someone in his life but he sounds interested in me
Q. I dated a guy one week ago through an on-line dating website, he insisted to meet me , we had coffee on Sat and then we met again on Sunday , it was very good chat and i enjoyed him , then we went to his place and i made it out with him ,but after ...
A. 12 August 2011: If he really is interested, then he will arrange his life to get to know you and spend time with you.
Right now he is NOT available for anything more than cheating. Did you see yourself in something sneaky and dishonest?
If you can not see your... (read in full...)
I like my girlfriend's ex and she's very upset about it
Q. I'm 24, my girlfriend's 23. On a night out last Thursday we had a few drinks, some chips and generally had fun. She also ran into her ex, Joe(not his real name), who is a friend of hers. I got talking to him and was amazed at how much we ha...
A. 12 August 2011: There might be "bad blood" between them. This is not like a regular male friend for her.
It is great that you are do not have jealous feelings, but it is a "conflict of interests" when you talk about your gf/his ex gf.
If the gf is a real kee... (read in full...)
Why couldn't he just be honest? Why did he play games?
Q. This guy contacted me through facebook during xmas and new year. Although I had seen him around town in nightclubs I had never noticed him otherwise. We communicated through FB for bout a month till we met up. We talked for several hours and he ...
A. 12 August 2011: Why would you want to be friends with someone who blows you off and disregards your feelings? I am sure you could do better than that.
His friendship is not a consolation prize.
Who knows why he is acting this way..he DOES! Good friends do ... (read in full...)
Every time I have sex with my new boyfriend, I can't help but cry because I still think of my ex...
Q. I've been going out with a classmate of mine for about 2 months now, and we've been sexually active lately. Now, a couple months ago I had a terrible breakup with my ex for 2 years. I've known my ex longer than that because we were originally best ...
A. 12 August 2011: *Hugs, but that is the thing you can understand. You do not have to give in.
DO not think that just because you are no longer a virgin, that you are not special. You still are and should be treated with respect. But first, you need to respect ... (read in full...)
How much of this am I responsible for?
Q. I feel really ill and responsible for something terrible. I have been dating someone on and off for about a year and a half. He has a roommate that has been his friend since he was four years old. Just incidentally from being at his house so often I ...
A. 12 August 2011: You can feel compassion for the man, but stop enabling him to continue his behavior. Sometimes a person has to hit rock bottom to finally see that their own choices got them there.
If people stop rescuing J he has to rely on himself.
Just be... (read in full...)
He talks to his ex! I don't like or trust her. What should I do and should I be worried?
Q. My boyfriend still talks to his ex-girlfriend and they dated for 4 months. Last night, he was talking to her and after about 20 minutes he texted me back "sorry me and her(his ex-girlfriend) were talking and i forgot about you." I asked him, "wha...
A. 12 August 2011: Do not ask her about personal conversations she has with friends. It really is not your business.
However, if your BF seems secretive and keeps forgetting about you...say nothing. Find someone else to date.
You need to be able to trust HIM-his... (read in full...)
My best guy friend told me he loves me but he's engaged!
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm afraid of losing a best friend. My best guy friend just confessed with me last night that he's in love with me. He told me that he's felt attracted to me for a while, but for the past month he was afraid that he was falling for ...
A. 12 August 2011: I would start backing away from this friend and consider him an ex friend. If he questions you about your distance, you tell him that he is engaged to be married. If he has feelings for someone else he should seriously reconsider getting married. ... (read in full...)
I found a dildo in my boyfriend's dresser and I don't know if he's cheating or using it on himself?
Q. hello everyone:) I'm alone in the dark and don't really know who to ask about this, I'm sort of embarrassed not going to lie.. and very confused! My bf and I have been together for 9 years, we don't live together. Recently well just about a mon...
A. 12 August 2011: Ask. Chances are he is using it on himself for the pleasure. That does not mean he is homo. Some people like being double pleasured.
Talk to him.... (read in full...)
Why couldn't he just be honest? Why did he play games?
Q. This guy contacted me through facebook during xmas and new year. Although I had seen him around town in nightclubs I had never noticed him otherwise. We communicated through FB for bout a month till we met up. We talked for several hours and he ...
A. 12 August 2011: You were both playing games, but each of you had different rules. You got involved in a hook up and kept hoping it would turn into a real relationship because he said the right words (most of the time). You slept with him without knowing him, ... (read in full...)
I found out my online lover is married and has a kid. How could I have been so trusting?
Q. I'm in a very complicated emotional situation right now. There is a guy i met online, I want to meet him but for its not possible for me until next year. He lives in another country. So we started talking every day, he was supporting me after a ...
A. 11 August 2011: You are not in a relationship with this man, because you have not met him and gotten all the facts about him.
You are in a fantasy with someone who might have played on all your dreams.
You will trust and love again, but you will do it smart... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't want sex unless we are watching porn!
Q. Please you guys out there, help me!!! Since early on in our relationship my bf liked to talk dirty ok i tried it he liked it for a while, but then wanted more. So we started watching porn while having sex and looking at pictures of naked women and ...
A. 11 August 2011: Sex is important to you and you are not connecting with your bf on that level. There is nothing wrong with telling him that YOU have sexual needs that need to be met, and porn kills the mood for you most of the time.
Is he able to get off with... (read in full...)
Temporary Marriage-What do women think about it
Q. Hi! I need replies, thougtful replies from females. I am of Irish and Brazilian origin and a convert to Islam. I lived in the Middle East (dads job) for a long time, I have converted to Islam 7 years ago, married a nice Muslim lady 2 yea...
A. 11 August 2011: I think you are referring to a signeh?
A temp contract of legal marriage where there some benefits of marriage (but mainly for sex)and an exchange of money or valuable gifts. I do understand that in such arrangments, if any children would be... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish in expecting him to come away for weekends without his elderly mother?
Q. Hi there I could really use some advice here. I have just turned 40 with 2 grown up children. I was single up until 3 months ago when i met this nice man. To give a bit of his background, 3 years ago he split up with the mother of his child, at th...
A. 11 August 2011: My first response. EW. NO!
No, you are not being selfish. If he is concerned about her care while he out of town, suggest he has another adult come check on her or hire a temp. care person to assist her.
Do not expect to go to the Holiday Home... (read in full...)
My ex suggests having a sort of FWB relationship and I don't know how I feel about it
Q. Is it possible to remain friends and have sex with a man you love deeply and have spent many years with while moving on? He never cheated,or physical abuse but was very unhappy with himself and no matter what I did could not prove the the tr...
A. 11 August 2011: Would you be ok if he said..."DO you mind if I use your body parts for my own release and satisfaction? "
OR
"You made a fine seminal recepticle in the past and I would like to enjoy that at my will without any emotinal entangements or ... (read in full...)
Male advice please: Why wont he tell his family I exist? Is he taking me for granted?
Q. hi, i've been seeing my bf, who i love and feel he loves me, for a year now. My problem is that he is such an extremely private person that he won't introduce me to his family, let alone even tell them i exist! To add to this, he lives with his ...
A. 11 August 2011: Sorry I am not male, but hope you do not mind some imput.
"He occasionally comments how our relationship is fair and we aren't in each others pockets "
In his eyes, things are fair...FOR HIM. He is not considering the impact on you.
Sigh, so... (read in full...)
Should he protect us financially?
Q. Hi Advice needed My Partner and I had a rocky relationship in the past. At the start he was far from committed to me I had his baby but there were episodes of suspected cheating and he was dismissive of my children I lost my job and he refused t...
A. 11 August 2011: This relationship sounds very dysfunctional. You two are not on the same page with two crucial area in your relationship...children and finances.
If he can not accept ALL the children and the two of you live in seperate residences? ... (read in full...)
I need to end things with this married man
Q. I'm in love with a married man and I'm married as well. I can't get him out of my heart. It's over a year now that I feel this way. I'm dying here, please show a way to stop loving him, please....
A. 11 August 2011: If you have been out of the affair for a year and are still hurting over it, then you are obsessing over the lover.
You can not just STOP loving someone. Hearts do not work that way.
When you chose to have an affair with a married man, you... (read in full...)
Every time I have sex with my new boyfriend, I can't help but cry because I still think of my ex...
Q. I've been going out with a classmate of mine for about 2 months now, and we've been sexually active lately. Now, a couple months ago I had a terrible breakup with my ex for 2 years. I've known my ex longer than that because we were originally best ...
A. 11 August 2011: You need to stop having sex with this guy. You never grieved the last boyfriend and when you have sex with the new guy all those old sad feelings get kicked up because your brain is not agreeing with your heart.
You say you are with him because ... (read in full...)
Was he the victim in our fight? Or me?
Q. Our first romantic week-end away (after 3 years) turned into a violent mess of emotion after I expressed my upset about his three second idea of love-making. Like where’s the fire? What’s the rush babe…? Given that the setting was relaxed and ...
A. 11 August 2011: There are no winners in this case. Both of you screwed up.... (read in full...)
The guy I'm seeing says he just doesn't want to be with anyone. Will he change his mind?
Q. Hi everyone I have been sleeping with my fwb for a few months now I have began to have very strong feelings for him and I'm pretty sure he feels the same as he calls me babe all the time texts me kisses when we meet up its not just for sex he gives ...
A. 11 August 2011: He already gets what he wants from the arrangement with you.
Could he change his mind? Sure, but most likely it will not be with you, because you have already been compartmentalized into the FWB category.
As FWB's you are both breaking simple ... (read in full...)
Can an 18 year old student consent to sex with a professor in Canada?
Q. What are the age of consent laws in Ontario, Canada regarding having sex with someone in a position of authority? Can an 18 year old student consent to sex with a 27 year old professor?...
A. 11 August 2011: Even if it is legal regarding age, the University may have their own bylaws.
Chances are you would be a dirty little secret so his cover is not blown. If you are being pursued in private..isnt that a signal that something is not ok?
This is... (read in full...)
My best guy friend (who I've been interested in for ages) broke up with his g/f - what should I do?
Q. B and I have known each other 3yrs and are very close. Before he met her, A, 2yrs ago, we were flirting, spending a lot of time together, and made out. It would have gone further, but he'd only broken up with his previous g/f two weeks earlier (bad ...
A. 11 August 2011: Darling, you have made yourself the back up plan.
Some guys transition with the "best girl friend" to fluff their egos after breakups. Then they feel better and move on.
DO nothing. You have been put in the Friend Zone.... (read in full...)
How much of this am I responsible for?
Q. I feel really ill and responsible for something terrible. I have been dating someone on and off for about a year and a half. He has a roommate that has been his friend since he was four years old. Just incidentally from being at his house so often I ...
A. 11 August 2011: J is not being kicked out over you.
The incident with you was the last straw that broke the camels back. The last thing on a top of a huge pile of "burden" that caused a break.
The incident with you was probably more personal and K's eyes wer... (read in full...)
My insecurity led to a brief break-up, and now he's distant
Q. My boyfriend wants me to be secure in our relationship and not doubt his faithfulness or love for me. I did this a lot, and it caused so much tension in our relationship. He ended up breaking up with me for about half an hour one night because he...
A. 10 August 2011: How long has in been since you moved back in?
Have you initiated affection with just simple hugs and kisses? Have you initiated any simple together time like a walk out to the park, a movie, etc
He is probably still has his walls up to see ... (read in full...)
Why guys can never admit to there feelings?
Q. I want to really know why guys can never admit to there feelings? This one guy I like really seems into me. His actions scream out. Like he holds my hand when we go longboarding and we kiss every now an then. But then some of his friends tell me ...
A. 10 August 2011: Do not rely on someone ELSES friends for telling you the feelings of another person. Period. Let the guy tell you his own feelings.
You had sex, but there was never any discussion of a relationship, right? You probably feel really vulernab... (read in full...)
I am just not feeling the love.....is he not into me?
Q. Right me and my boyfriend have been dating for nearly 9 months. He used to hate holding hands and cuddling. So i started holding his hand and cuddling him in public and he started doing it back. In the last 3 months this has stopped...he wont cuddle ...
A. 10 August 2011: No, you are not being daft. Physical affection makes you feel loved.
I am guessing, but when he felt more affectionate, that probably made you feel more connected and close, right?
When he pulls away in public, it probably makes you feel a... (read in full...)
I told my friend she should end her affair...but she cant seem to make a start!
Q. ** For a Friend ** I have a friend who has been divorced for 5 years and is single. A year and a half back, she fell in love with a married man. She started to have an affair only after he was able to convince that his marriage was already brok...
A. 10 August 2011: Ok, this is going to sound harsh.
It really is none of your business. It his her dumb and dysfunctional choice and she gets to own her consequences and frustrations that come with it.
Do not go borrowing trouble for yourself.
If you have alr... (read in full...)
I finally feel happy....so why is my ex contacting me again?
Q. Hi there:) I was just wondering if you guys could clarify something for me. I dumped my ex in April after an extremely difficult 3 year relationship. To cut a long story short: he drank too much, treated me like dirt, took me for granted with his...
A. 10 August 2011: I think he is contacting you because he senses a disturbance in the force..IE, you are happy again.
Three to four months is pretty common for an ex to poke at the cooled off coals to see if there is any warm embers left to start something back up.... (read in full...)
What does it mean to be SETTLING
Q. Please tell me if I am settling or am I getting the definitiopn of settling wrong? My boyfriend's drive for a job is not as strong as I am. He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and was raised spoilt. Everything he does he gonna be pushed ...
A. 10 August 2011: OP, from your choice of words you do not see him as an equal. What if he never reaches an "acceptable" level of equal to you? Does respect and career level go hand in hand with you?
Do you have reasonable expectations of when this goal should b... (read in full...)
He helps out around the house, but it would be far more helpful if he could pay his way! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend lives with me and basically his maintenance for ex and child leaves him with no money for himself, he honestly has nothing left, I have to keep giving him cash handouts. He seems to think that he can even out the differences in ...
A. 10 August 2011: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I think you already know the answer on this one. He is taking advantage of you.
You value responsibility. He does not.
He is ok if someone ELSE foots the bill willingly, You are not. (By the way, I admire you view ... (read in full...)
Is there any explanation for this?
Q. I have this problem after sex, I feel like a constantly need to urinate, I go to the toilet to relieve the feeling and only a small amount of urine passes. So, I have tried to also suppress the feeling because I can't stay on the toilet all day, but ...
A. 10 August 2011: If your tests for Urinary Tract Infections come back negative, then I would suspect there are nerves that are being stimulated, giving you the urge to pee. It is common for women to feel that urge to go after orgasm, because the nerve bundle called ... (read in full...)
I get waxed frequently, but cant stand the ingrown hairs when it grows back!
Q. I keep my pubic hair nicely trimmed, but I'd really love to get more brazilians. I'd love to entice my boyfriend to visit (down there), as he hasn't in years. I get everything waxed off regularly and I love how soft and clean I feel, but when it ...
A. 10 August 2011: Look for Bikini Zone! Its a great cream that helps prevent ingrown hairs.
You can also use a little bit of antibiotic on the ingrown hairs to prevent infection. Keeping things dry also helps.... (read in full...)
Can they reject my procedure?
Q. i recently began treatment for my varicose veins..he did the upper thigh areas and now i want the lower veins treated. They said i can begin the process now or wait and give it time. I said i would rather begin the process sooner b/c i don't think ...
A. 10 August 2011: Talk to your insurance provider about the circumstances of your surgery.
It sounds like it might be best to take care of your medical needs prior to a job change.... (read in full...)
Do women mind if guys feel their breasts during sex?
Q. Once I was with a prostitute and she seemed to feel uncomfortable because I touched her breasts. I don't know if all women are like this or if I had done something wrong. I understand that you shouldn't do anything to make someone feel uncomfortable ...
A. 10 August 2011: I think touching breasts in a pre-requisite for me!
However, you were with a prostitute. She was providing a "service" and touching her breasts may have been too intimate. She got to call the shots to what she was willing to provide.
... (read in full...)
Why would my rectum be bleeding after using the bathroom?
Q. Dear cupid, my stomach has been hurting all day today and im sure its because of all the junk food i have been eating. Almost every hour im eating something new. Thats because im not eating food so little snacks like chips and ice cream bars do not ...
A. 10 August 2011: Sounds like a Hemmorrhoid, Aka "Piles". Veins run along the inside of your anus. When you strain too hard to go #2, you can irritate the walls of the veins, they get inflammed and bleed. They can be very painful for some people. In extreme cases, ... (read in full...)
What does it mean to be SETTLING
Q. Please tell me if I am settling or am I getting the definitiopn of settling wrong? My boyfriend's drive for a job is not as strong as I am. He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and was raised spoilt. Everything he does he gonna be pushed ...
A. 10 August 2011: Settling means that you are going to accept something that falls beneath your standards without complaint.
Settling implies something resting, like leaves floating down from a tree and layering themselves on the ground. They are no longer in the t... (read in full...)
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