He says he misses me so why wont he make time for us to spend alone?
Q. Hello All, I met a guy on a dating site, seemed very nice, genuine, went out a few times - its been a month now since we have been seeing each other on and off, but he always seems too busy to meet properly or spend a day together, he has already ...
A. 4 July 2011: He may come from a really tight family.
When you DO spend time along, what do you normally do?
I think its great that he introduced you to his family, and at first I thought, he trusts them and he wants their opinion of YOU if he is wanting... (read in full...)
I feel like he should know better about how to please a woman and am thinking of dumping him!
Q. Well, I am dating a new guy. We have had sex about four times, it only lasts maybe 2 minutes (premature ejaculation) the problem is I really like him but sex is important in a relationship for me. He does not perform oral sex on me, or seem to ...
A. 4 July 2011: Talk to him waaaaaaaaaaaaaay outside of the bedroom and let him know that you want to find ways to make the lovin' last longer. He may be uber excited, you may have more sexual energy than he is used to and it intimidates him, or he may just lack ... (read in full...)
I keep away from alcohol because I am afraid I will get addicted, but my bf does not understand!!
Q. If you're aware that you have addictive personality traits and are prone to depression, should you completely avoid something which you could quite easily become dependent on? I can be a rather obsessive person; I tend to get fixated on things which ...
A. 3 July 2011: I think you are being wise and very aware of your personality and avoiding something that has a high risk to harm you.
By any chance, does anyone in your family have a high risk of alcholism or sustance abuse?
Let your bf know that you choose ... (read in full...)
Why is Divorce Ok? I am put off if I find a person is divorced.
Q. Im asking the question: Why isnt it shameful to be divorced? Why would anyone admit it? to me it makes the person look selfish and non commital really.. I have to admit it puts me off a person quite a lot. What does everyone else think? ...
A. 3 July 2011: I think your statement shows a lack of experience and compassion for others and WHY they are divorced.
Just like couples get married for different reasons (not everyone gets married for love) couples can divorce for different reasons.
I am di... (read in full...)
Why does someone always have to ruin things?
Q. okay my boyfriend and i wanna have sex but everytime we get a chance someone ruinz it... im just getting confused i want him to make the first move but he keeps telling me tht if i wanna do it to "just pull his pants down"....... it makes me mad tht ...
A. 3 July 2011: You have not thought it through if you are picking a partner for your first sexual experience that thinks that first time should be yanking down his pants.
Trust me dear, you want someone who is going to SHARE in the moment with you, make you comf... (read in full...)
After 36 years married male friend found me. Now what?
Q. There a guy that in high school we were cloe and wanted to get involved but slowly drifted apart after goin to college. He's married and I am widowed. He has been looking for me. Surprise he found me. We have talked on several occasions and ...
A. 3 July 2011: He is married. END OF STORY.
Anything more than friendship makes you a mistress.... (read in full...)
Is he being truthful, is there hope or should I just walk away?
Q. I recently went through a break up with a guy I was with for 3 months. We knew each other for about 4 months before we dated, but only through a coffee house and as much as you can get to know someone at karaoke once a week. I knew the whole ti...
A. 3 July 2011: when I say we were pressured into it, I mean by friends. They were bugging us asking if we were official
Never make decisions about YOUR relationships based on other people bugging you.
we got together figuring it could work and we realized ... (read in full...)
FWB who has moved to another state, wants to take our relationship to the next level. Now he wants nude pics of mine. Thoughts?
Q. So here's my dilemma, I a 20yr old woman and last year I left a 4yr relationship and I knew I wanted to be single for a while but as we all know not everything goes as planned. A few months after my break up I met a 23yr old guy in November...
A. 3 July 2011: Even IF you make that commitment, even with marriage, you have no guarantees that your nude pics would be treated with ultimate privacy.
There are plenty of wives, gf's, lovers that were promised the world and their pictures and videos have bee... (read in full...)
Is he being truthful, is there hope or should I just walk away?
Q. I recently went through a break up with a guy I was with for 3 months. We knew each other for about 4 months before we dated, but only through a coffee house and as much as you can get to know someone at karaoke once a week. I knew the whole ti...
A. 1 July 2011: I think he is being honest with you. He does not feel like settling down with just ONE person now. HE decided for you to just be friends, which probably was his way of figuring out YOU are not good Polyamory material. That does not mean any... (read in full...)
Shall I give him the silent treatment after him not replying to my text?
Q. I've been seeing this guy pretty regularly for the past 6 months now. We normally go out 2-4 times a week and text every day or so. Anyway, we last met on Mon and he said' we'd meet on Fri, late afternoon. Cool. So, I organized my chores and duties ...
A. 1 July 2011: No Silent Treatment. That is just childish.
I think if people stopped having relationships by text, there would be a lot less understandings in the world.
You can not see facial expression,hear tone or get the real info!
You were dissapoi... (read in full...)
Should I end it with my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend of 4 months is becoming unreliable and a bit of a let down when it comes to going out to places that we had organised, with or without other friends. He says he can do it then suddenly changes his mind. we agrue about it until the point ...
A. 1 July 2011: Take a break from him first. Step back and go out with your friends without inviting him. Stop making plans with him. See if he steps up and arranges any dates/activities. If he can not put forward any effort or keep plans, then let him go ... (read in full...)
How do I start? Are there ways to recognise if the signs are right for it to become a relationship or not?
Q. I don't know how to start relationships. After a few dates I always find I want more. This time I went on a date to the cinema and we chatted after. We are now apparently boyfriend and girlfriend but he has only text me once today (we started bf n ...
A. 1 July 2011: In addition to already great advice, Consider your expectations of a boyfriend. Did you talk about what you expect from one another? What do you expect regarding calls, dates, texts, expenses, sex, etc? You should know what HE thinks is re... (read in full...)
He said not to call him, fine! But why does he keep calling me?
Q. I broke up we my boyfriend of a year. He's 36 I'm 19. We broke up because he didn't have time for me and he's not the into me no more. I pretty much annoyed him most of the time. I decided that I don't want to be with someone that would be mean to ...
A. 1 July 2011: Who knows exactly why? He may actually miss you, even if he can not be the best FOR you. But, if you are done, and truly wish no contact with him, block/delete all of his contact info and the next time he calls tell him directly to STOP. You ... (read in full...)
How can I find out if he's actually into me, or even my gender for that matter, without coming right out and saying it?
Q. I met this guy about 2 weeks ago, and he is absolutely adorable in every way. The last time we hung out, we were extremely intoxicated, and things got a little intimate. We did not have any form of sex, but we kissed and touched. I was euphoric and ...
A. 1 July 2011: Well, if he IS straight and IS interested in you, he WILL let you know. You already asked his "orientation". He gave you an answer. Further, never bank on ANYTHING as real and honest when you or another is drunk. They are just words. ... (read in full...)
How can I advise my lecturer that he needs to stop seeing another student?
Q. Please cupid friends how will i advice this my lecturer that is very close to me that he should stop being in a relationship with his student because they don't respect him any more. Please any advice cos he take me like his daughter, so i want to ...
A. 1 July 2011: I would speak to his superiors, the people that pay his salary, about his innappropriate relationship. However, be prepared with facts not feelings. ... (read in full...)
We both got totally drunk and my wife was lying naked next to another guy!
Q. I went with my wife to a party this past weekend and we got completely wasted, neither of us remember the later parts of the night. But all I know is that when I woke up my wife was nowhere near me. When I looked around the house for her, I found ...
A. 1 July 2011: If you think you can not move past it-seek out some counseling.
If SHE really can not remember anything that took place with the stranger, encourage her to get tested!
Avoid being in circumstances like this in the future. That is waaaaaaaaaaaa... (read in full...)
FWB who has moved to another state, wants to take our relationship to the next level. Now he wants nude pics of mine. Thoughts?
Q. So here's my dilemma, I a 20yr old woman and last year I left a 4yr relationship and I knew I wanted to be single for a while but as we all know not everything goes as planned. A few months after my break up I met a 23yr old guy in November...
A. 1 July 2011: Not unless you get a legal document for him to sign saying if he ever divulges them to any other person you can sue him for all he is worth, own his soul, and his manhood in a jar. Then, my all means...go ahead. Others alreayd posted...nononon... (read in full...)
We hardly spend anytime together and when we do we jump straight to sex..what can I do?
Q. I started messing around with a guy in April, we started dating in May. It's been almost 2 months goin out with him. But when it all started everything was PERFECT and it was amazing. 3 weeks after we started goin out things started changing...
A. 1 July 2011: He is getting what he wants. You need to be the one who sets the boundaries. If you want more than sex, speak up. Silence is your permission.... (read in full...)
She has torn my family apart but will not speak to her family about our relationship!
Q. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-left-my-wife-for-her-and-now.html this is my previous post.... now to update a little... i have received 3 phone calls this week from ELF and she has finally told me her reasons for ending it: She d...
A. 1 July 2011: She has decided that you are not a good option for her life.
I dont know if Cupid put the title there, but SHE did not tear your family apart. You made that foolish choice and it blew up in your face.
You should go get your job back and work on... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to know WHY exactly do I love him! What do I say?
Q. I have not been dating my boyfriend a long time but I have fallen in love with him. I told he recently. We have a strong connection and chemistry since the day we met. He means so much to me and I dont think he understands. Im thankful for the day ...
A. 1 July 2011: ""I can tell him why I love him I dont think your understanding. I know what I love about him. He wants to know what it is in my thought process that makes me love. Why do I love. Not why do I love him, I already expressed that. Does that make what ... (read in full...)
BF spending lots of time helping ex-wife during her cancer. Where should I draw the line?
Q. hi everyone , well i ve been wit my boyfriend 5 yers now , things were going well up untill his ex wife caught cancer . now it feels like he s more interested in her an wants to help her out an is running up an down to hospitals , he also has two ...
A. 1 July 2011: It is HIS decision. Let him make it.... (read in full...)
Can I kick start puberty?
Q. Well! I'm nearly 14 and I have had no signs of starting puberty and its getting embarresing! I have had no growth spurts or anything and I'm getting self councious about it now and I was wondereing if there was anyway to kick start puberty and what ...
A. 30 June 2011: No, you can not force your body to go into puberty.
You are still young. Chances are if you parents were "late bloomers" you will be too.
Signs of male puberty are : Deeping of voice, more pronounced "Adams Apple/Voice Box" (that bump on yo... (read in full...)
My wife implicitly condones an affair. Instead of elated, I am mortified!
Q. I have been with my wife for 20 years. In that time our sex life has been meager. Lately, if we have sex once per year we are doing good. My wife and I have started (for the fourth time - this happens every years or so) to talk about the proble...
A. 30 June 2011: If you can not understand your wifes mentality in over 20 years, why would strangers?
From what you described, your wife is a maze where all of the walls continually change.
Time for some marriage counseling. Go alone if she will not go with... (read in full...)
After 7 years of online friendship we are going to meet, but now I am worried!
Q. I've been talking to a guy online for 7 years, we'll call him Adam we talked pretty much constantly, I had a boyfriend for 5 of the years and I have a 11 month old little boy, me and my boyfriend split up because of problems between us and his anger ...
A. 30 June 2011: Adding to already good advice:)
Never make concessions to avoid all other guys when you are obviously not in a committed relationship with this one.
He told you he flirts with other girls for the power trip.
If he can do that to others..w... (read in full...)
If he likes me, why is he flirting with other girls??
Q. So my best friend recently told me that her older brother likes me. I have always liked him so i started flirting w/ him a little; nothing too obvious though. She told me he wanted to make a move. But for the past couple of days now it seems like he ...
A. 30 June 2011: If he genuinely likes you, HE will tell you himself.
He may like you, but not interested enough to make a move.
You are his sisters friend, and that might put him off, because if it did not work out there would be complications.
... (read in full...)
How do I stop from always fighting?
Q. DEAR CUPID and everyone else, I've been with my boyfriend for two years now and things are going great I love him with everything but he sometimes does alot of stupid things that really irk me for example he was suppose to meet me and said he was ...
A. 30 June 2011: People lie because they want to avoid the consequences of the truth.
Your bf lied to you bc he knew you would get upset, so he wanted to avoid your anger.
He was late and got held up at work. Was work a valid reason for being late?
You say... (read in full...)
This is not your typical FWB situation... I'm in desperate need of advice and insight.
Q. Well, it all started a few years ago when I met this guy. We became instant friends and we have been really close ever since we met. Since we met we have almost been inseperable. Sure, we've had our fall outs, but what longterm friendship wouldn't? ...
A. 30 June 2011: He told you that YOU do not have what it takes to be in a relationship because you hide behind your feelings?
You were rather expressive here, so I doubt that is it.
UNLESS he has been in open relationships with ALL the gfs he sleeps with, he ... (read in full...)
My inlaws hate me I've never done anything to them, what can I do?
Q. Since I found out my SIL is moving closer to us my anxiety is outta control. We moved states away from the Inls and I was so relieved for years. My Inls hate me they do not do anything for our son. My husband has stood his ground to these people ...
A. 30 June 2011: My guess is they are against you because you eloped. They may feel cheated out on the experience to see their son get married?
Regardless, you can not make them like you. Be the best YOU and let your husband handle them. Keep consistent boundari... (read in full...)
How can I drop hints to let her know that I like her and how can I prepare for possibly asking her out in September?
Q. Alright so there is this girl i had met at university who i really liked and coincidentally she lived in the room next to mine in residence so we got to know one another by the end of the year. So here is my problem, for most of the school year she...
A. 30 June 2011: STEP ONE-Just talk to her now as a friend.
Conversation is pretty good way of saying you like someone.
Have conversation on the PHONE, not text or computer.
Tell Girl you are looking forward to seeing her in Fall.
STEP TWO-WAIT UNTIL SEPT.... (read in full...)
Questions regarding a threesome...
Q. My boyfriend really wants a threesome. It will be me and him (obviously) and one of his friends, who is male. I have told him i wasnt interested but he is kinda talking me into it. however i do need some questions asking. Is it a good idea to be ha...
A. 30 June 2011: It does not sound like you have really talked with your bf about your concerns/questions/mutual understanding about what to expect here.
If you can not talk about it and agree to it all..then
JUST SAY NO!... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to know WHY exactly do I love him! What do I say?
Q. I have not been dating my boyfriend a long time but I have fallen in love with him. I told he recently. We have a strong connection and chemistry since the day we met. He means so much to me and I dont think he understands. Im thankful for the day ...
A. 30 June 2011: Imagine he is asking you "Why do you want me in your life?"
Now, be specific. He is asking for the qualities and charachteristics, the unique things about him that you see and admire about him.
Get to the root of the meaning behind his quest... (read in full...)
Guy I like broke up with me after seeing blood from my period during sex. What can I do??
Q. I had a huge crush on somebody that I met 3 years ago. He was so cute and from another state. From the first time we met, we knew exactly that we were attracted to each other. He stayed at the hotel and we exchanged our cell phone numbers. The sex ...
A. 30 June 2011: You should have told him (since you knew) that you were spotty and did not tell him before.
He was there for the sex and was grossed out.
Learn from it.
... (read in full...)
Emotionally abusive, untrusting, 10 year older boyfriend wants kids with me NOW, or else he's gone.
Q. Hello everyone. Some background info for my question: I'm 22, my boyfriend is 32. We've been living together about 2 years. We have had some problems in the past due to his emotional unstability. He has been jealous and paranoid, he has been emo...
A. 30 June 2011: How GENEROUS of him to give you a week to choose a life changing, PERMENANT decision! He gave you the ultimatum to obey his plans!
That is a choice that should be made and agreed on by TWO loving adults. Your bf has not grown up yet and he think... (read in full...)
I allowed an out of town friend to stay at my house and now my boyfriend doesn't trust me!
Q. My friends, am back again yet with another issue, what happened last saturday is something i did without thinking and i didnt now the outcome,we were having drinks with my boyfriend and two of his friends and one of his friend brought another ...
A. 30 June 2011: I think your bf could be mad that you had a stranger crash at your place because it could have been dangerous for you.
Is he accusing you of cheating? That is his problem.
You can not MAKE someone believe you or trust you again. They just... (read in full...)
BF spending lots of time helping ex-wife during her cancer. Where should I draw the line?
Q. hi everyone , well i ve been wit my boyfriend 5 yers now , things were going well up untill his ex wife caught cancer . now it feels like he s more interested in her an wants to help her out an is running up an down to hospitals , he also has two ...
A. 30 June 2011: He should should do what ever he thinks is best for his kids.... (read in full...)
Family chains are weighing me down. I want to break them!
Q. Hey everyone, I am a delimma..and living like this just makes my life that much more miserable..I want to wake up everyday feeling good about what I am doing but I don't,its more like a burden something I am forced to do..I am currently in med scho...
A. 30 June 2011: You are now old enough to stand up for yourself and choose what you want out of life, but you are going to have to pay a price for it. Choosing what you want may mean losing your family, their $ support, their acceptance, etc.
Which would be... (read in full...)
Sex hurts so much! How do I make b/f understand?
Q. My boyfriend always wants sex. But recently im really sore that last time we did it I nearly cried. I don't know why im sore its not like I'm allergic to him. He's always going on at me about not having sex but I just can't go through with it. What ...
A. 30 June 2011: Do you use condoms?
Do you use lube?
Is he being rough?
Is he taking forever to climax?
Sex should NEVER make you cry. (Unless its tears of joy!)
If you use latex condoms, you might have an allergy. Try a silicone brand.
If are dr... (read in full...)
Analysis of personality?
Q. Hi, What would you make of someone with this past... as a child.. stole from other kids stole from parents at one stage stole from shops regularly disruptive at school sexually aware from a very young age, messing around with girls from arou...
A. 30 June 2011: Wow, that is quite some inventory of your BF.
I would not really care about his PAST as long as it has been a long time between then and now..and his life and focus is different.
However, you explained a person you do not seem to like or trust... (read in full...)
She chose her husband over me and I can't deal with it!
Q. My married girlfriend just told me that this is the end of the affair. I don't understand why would she dump me if I was there for her in time of need and always very supportive. She says she still loves me but she can not take the pressure that I ...
A. 30 June 2011: Look at the facts.
She USED you.
She LIED to you.
She LIED to the man she made wedding vows with. (Im sure those vows included faithfulness)
You broke up, but the relationship you had was based on LIES.
Best to let her go, heal from... (read in full...)
Can I dedicate a song to my fiance that my ex once dedicated to me?
Q. I want to use a song that my X boyfriend dedicated to me for our fist song my fiancee doesn't know and honestly when my X dedicated that song to me I didn't feel anything and it only makes me thing about my true love now who is my fiancee.... Would ...
A. 29 June 2011: When you move into your future, you want nothing of the past to haunt you.
Find a new song. Give yourself a completely new, clean, memory!... (read in full...)
I always said I wouldn't and then I did, and I would do it again!
Q. I apologise in advance for the long response but please bear with me. So here's the situation, me and my friend recently met this guy. In our town he is very well know as being quite the eligible bachelor. He is everything a girl could ask for (he ...
A. 29 June 2011: Your hormones were speaking. It feels good to be touched and sometimes our bodies speak louder than our brains.
Since you are new to these sorts of feelings and experiences, now you are feeling the afterthoughts if it was the right thing to do?
... (read in full...)
BF spending lots of time helping ex-wife during her cancer. Where should I draw the line?
Q. hi everyone , well i ve been wit my boyfriend 5 yers now , things were going well up untill his ex wife caught cancer . now it feels like he s more interested in her an wants to help her out an is running up an down to hospitals , he also has two ...
A. 21 June 2011: I think you would handle the situation better IF you had some compassion towards her illness.
Your BF and she have two kids together? Well, then that is the Mother of his children.
You may not have forgiven her for what she did in the past,... (read in full...)
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