My BF hates the fact that people try to make a fuss about his birthday and intends disappearing on that day and turning his phone off!
Q. So i recently learned my bf hates the fact that people try to make a fuss about his bday. I had planned to spend the entire day with him and his family and he shocked me by saying he was gonna disappear on everyone that day because he wants that day ...
A. 14 August 2011: """" I have did ask him why he feels that way and he didn't have a concrete answer, he just said he feels uncomfortable in big crowds (i am like that too but i wouldn't object if that crowd was just my family and maybe one or two of my closest ... (read in full...)
What does it mean to be SETTLING
Q. Please tell me if I am settling or am I getting the definitiopn of settling wrong? My boyfriend's drive for a job is not as strong as I am. He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and was raised spoilt. Everything he does he gonna be pushed ...
A. 10 August 2011: OP, from your choice of words you do not see him as an equal. What if he never reaches an "acceptable" level of equal to you? Does respect and career level go hand in hand with you?
Do you have reasonable expectations of when this goal should b... (read in full...)
Why would my rectum be bleeding after using the bathroom?
Q. Dear cupid, my stomach has been hurting all day today and im sure its because of all the junk food i have been eating. Almost every hour im eating something new. Thats because im not eating food so little snacks like chips and ice cream bars do not ...
A. 10 August 2011: Sounds like a Hemmorrhoid, Aka "Piles". Veins run along the inside of your anus. When you strain too hard to go #2, you can irritate the walls of the veins, they get inflammed and bleed. They can be very painful for some people. In extreme cases, ... (read in full...)
Can being diabetic make a man impotent?
Q. Is it true that a diabetic is impotent. My husband is getting insulin injections aside from oral medications. Is it true he cannt have an erection? He also has problem with prostate. Is it true that this could block the coming out of his semen. ...
A. 10 August 2011: Yes. If he has prostrate issues and diabetes that can affect his ability to get and maintain an erection.
Is he willing to see a Doctor about options to have a sex life?... (read in full...)
My wife kisses and sucks her high heels??
Q. My wife is so crazy for her shoes and high heels that she kisses her shoes and sucks her heels when we have sex. Although I too find high heeled shoes sexy isn't this going a bit too overboard? Is it normal for women to do that?...
A. 10 August 2011: Sounds like a shoe fetish. Kissing and Sucking? I have heard of people being FAR more involved with their shoes than that.
If it bothers you, ask her to refrain from doing it in your presence because you find it to be a turn off.... (read in full...)
What does it mean to be SETTLING
Q. Please tell me if I am settling or am I getting the definitiopn of settling wrong? My boyfriend's drive for a job is not as strong as I am. He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and was raised spoilt. Everything he does he gonna be pushed ...
A. 10 August 2011: Settling means that you are going to accept something that falls beneath your standards without complaint.
Settling implies something resting, like leaves floating down from a tree and layering themselves on the ground. They are no longer in the t... (read in full...)
My BF hates the fact that people try to make a fuss about his birthday and intends disappearing on that day and turning his phone off!
Q. So i recently learned my bf hates the fact that people try to make a fuss about his bday. I had planned to spend the entire day with him and his family and he shocked me by saying he was gonna disappear on everyone that day because he wants that day ...
A. 10 August 2011: If that is what he wants for his birthday..why not respect his wishes? It is not about you or his family. It is something he does not want.
... (read in full...)
He doesn't put effort into the relationship
Q. My boyfriend is really irritating me. He doesn't seem to try in our relationship. Today, he knew I was being weird on him and he knew why. He said he didn't think I was in the mood for kisses. Could he not try? Could he not try and cheer me up. Tell ...
A. 10 August 2011: I think you are both sending each other mixed messages. In all fairness, you did tell him it would be ok if he did not kiss you. Then he kissed you and you complain that he didnt say "I love you" and try to cheer you up.
He comments that you are ... (read in full...)
He wants visitation but does not want to pay back child support.Does the father pay in these circumstances?
Q. My ex found out that a child I had a year ago may be his. He had a paternity test and my son is his. However, he knew I was pregnant with his kid but I told him I had a miscarriage early on. He saw me a month before I was due and asked about my bell...
A. 10 August 2011: Child support payments are not an "entry fee" to have time with a child.
The two issues are seperate.
He IS obligated to pay child support, but it is also his right to see his child.
Seek a lawyer for more guidance on the laws of your stat... (read in full...)
My Fiance has had many sex partenrs before me, how do I deal with it?
Q. Hello there, I am a 21 year old girl and I am currently in love with a wonderful guy who even asked me for my hand in marriage. He is 23 years old sweet, kind and always make me smile when I am around him. But the thing is... One day he aske...
A. 10 August 2011: Think of it this way. Out of that many girls/women. He picked YOU.
YOU darling. Not one of them. There is something about YOU that he fell in love with and eventually decided "This is my future wife".
Embrace what you have in common that b... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has turned mean but I gave up my friends so he is all I've got
Q. Okay, so my boyfriend of a year and a half is just really mean lately, but here's the story. Everything was so good the first year we started seeing each other, He's the only person I've trusted 100%, and now I'm just hearing that he supposedly ...
A. 10 August 2011: "I really do care about him, and I love him to death, just thinking about all the good times we've had make me wanna stay, I just need advice, I don't know what to do anymore."
Imagine you have a favorite resturaunt you have been going for year... (read in full...)
My ex won't respond to my calls or meet up with me. I need to tell him... I'm pregnant
Q. I have a crazy situation. If you read my back questions. I met a guy and we were crazy for each other. Spent all I time together and everything. I am still in love with him. One day he decided he needed some alone time. So he asked me said he wasn't ...
A. 10 August 2011: Well, you are both in that position. He is partially and legally accountable for the child you created.
No more blame. Now you need to make good decisions for your baby.
By the way, I was a child created in similiar circumstances. ... (read in full...)
I can't stand with my girlfriend's anger, should I leave her?
Q. After spending 8 years with my girlfriend, last night, I decided leaving her but she was refusing to accept my decision …so it’s kind a pending thing. She is caring, most gorgeous girl in our surroundings but her anger is something I can’...
A. 10 August 2011: You want to break up with her, because she yelled about you that your room is messy?
(By the way, if you still live at home and your OWN Mother agrees you are not organized, then respect your Mother!)
Your Mother practically raised your GF i... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has turned mean but I gave up my friends so he is all I've got
Q. Okay, so my boyfriend of a year and a half is just really mean lately, but here's the story. Everything was so good the first year we started seeing each other, He's the only person I've trusted 100%, and now I'm just hearing that he supposedly ...
A. 9 August 2011: If hes mean, yells, lies....why do you want to be with him?
He did not make you the way you are. No one forced you. He surely helped shape your self esteem, but you allowed him access to that. Time to start taking back some of your own power an... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is becomming selfish in bed
Q. My boyfriend and I always used to have great sex. Lately though, he has been pretty selfish. He used to hold back, so we could finish together but now he finishes really quickly and then uses his hands for me. Sex has become really boring f...
A. 9 August 2011: Have you told him you miss reaching climax together?... (read in full...)
He won't marry me. Should I issue an ultimatum?
Q. Okay, I made a mistake by moving in with my boyfriend, but the damage is done and if anyone can help me, I would appreciate it. Basically, I want to get married and he does not. I have been with him for four years, and have lived with him for thr...
A. 9 August 2011: Ultimatums do not work.
He has made a decision for himself. He is not in the attitude of couplehood that gets rid of the "Me" and "I" and accepts "Us" and "We".
Marriage is what you want and you have been open and honest in the relationship exp... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dumped me but still wants to be friends. I can't because I'm still in love with him
Q. Why wont my ex boyfriend let us part ways? he wont let me go:(? My ex bf dumped me saying he doesn't want a relationship. He broke my heart. I loved him so much. Is been 4months now and he won't leave me alone. No matter how long we go ...
A. 9 August 2011: Maybe he is trying to relieve his guilt about breaking up with you. He does not want a relationship with you, but he wants what I like to call "The Consolation Prize" of your freindship to make himself feel better.
He asked. You denied him. Yo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has lots of female friends and I feel jealous
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 months and I guess I'm in teenage love. When we're together it's perfect- I feel like he really does like...love me. He says and does everything right...but.he also has a lot of friends. Thats great- but ...
A. 9 August 2011: You feel insecure because he had a more romantic relationship with girls before you. Some of them might still be carrying around feelings for him.
BUT.
He chose you. Do not worry yourself to death about it and simply enjoy being with your ... (read in full...)
I don't enjoy my boyfriend's company, but he seems to really like me
Q. I've been dating this guy for a few weeks now, he's really sweet and lovely and really likes me but I'm just not happy with him. I just find him incredibly boring, I don't like being alone with him, whenever I am I'm desperately texting my friends ...
A. 9 August 2011: I think telling him may be a lesbian is irrelvant at this time.
Just stick with the facts and be upfront.
"BF, I have thought about this a long time and it is really hard for me to do, but I can not be your gf anymore. I do not feel as stro... (read in full...)
One sided sex life
Q. Okay last time i think i was alittle unclear so lets see if i can clear up some of the confusion. Me and my girl started have sex about a week ago. Now we are both virgins so we have to take it slow when it comes to actually having sex because i end ...
A. 9 August 2011: The last time you posted this question,which I think you were clear on, you were suggested to talk to her about what you would like too.
Have you talked to her?... (read in full...)
Dating 2 weeks and already there are problems
Q. So I just started dating this girl 2 weeks ago and already there are problems. We met a year and 7 months ago when she was dating another guy named Hunter, and even though I reaaly liked her, I wasn't going to try and break them up. So they dated ...
A. 9 August 2011: She is not over him and is using you as her soft place to fall to grieve him.
You are not in a relationship, you are her therapist.
For your OWN sake, it is safe to step back and let her figure out how to manage her own feelings.
S... (read in full...)
Husband has been impotent for 5 years with no reason!
Q. Would you believe in your husband if he would say, he does not know, why he has no sexual desire, and why he can't get up for 5 years? We have been married for 25 years, and had great sex. But sex suddenly stopped 5 years ago. He is impotent, ...
A. 9 August 2011: Is he willing to explore and try other options?
Lots of men get erections involuntarily in the morning when they need to urinate. This is also the time of day when hormones are at their highest.
If he has not already done so, he should get a ... (read in full...)
Trouble reaching orgasm.....
Q. I am an otherwise healthy male who has no trouble getting or maintaining erections. However, my problem is that it takes me a long time to orgasm and when I finally do it doesn't feel quite as great as it used to and the quantity of semen produced...
A. 9 August 2011: Have you ever thought of talking to a Urologist? ... (read in full...)
I took time off to celebrate his birthday, but he won't do the same for me
Q. I have been seeing this wonderful man for almost a year now. For the first time, he has somewhat hurt my feelings, and as a stupid girl, I played the "it's no biggie" card. We are in a long distance relationship. We are able to see each other a ...
A. 9 August 2011: "he was saddened that he is unable to spend my birthday with me due to work. This would not have bugged me if he would have put the effort in and tried to request the time off, but he did not"
His comment strikes me as someone who cares about yo... (read in full...)
Do I need prior experience to get and maintain a romantic relationship?
Q. I don't have prior experience in a romantic relationship. A friend of mine advice me to go on some "practice" dating, to get to know the field so to speak, before reaching for a the real thing. So when the right lady comes along I'll have the know...
A. 9 August 2011: Dating IS practice for relationships. Dating is a way to try on people to see what is a good fit for you.
Some dating is just plain fun. You share an event or meal together and just enjoy being with another human.
Some dating is to explore wh... (read in full...)
Very much in Love but cannot leave the family
Q. Hi I am married with an 8 years old. I ma very much in love with another woman, she is my sweetheart from 25 years ago. She lives in ITaly and has a doughter of 8 years old. We met again and fell in love again... I left 25 years ago to come to E...
A. 9 August 2011: Just because someone else started the affair does not mean you are less to blame for the infidelity.
She is choosing her family right now and telling you to wait for her for 10 years?
SO, do you plan to live in a lie with your wife for the nex... (read in full...)
I didn't cheat, but my g/f insists I did. Did I?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend since October last year, but I started dating her around May. In june - july last year I went to Europe backpacking. During this trip I met with my ex girlfriend in Vienna for 3 days (she lives in Switzerland). This was ...
A. 9 August 2011: "In the end she backed down and we are still together... but she concluded she would never forget what I had done."
I would be asking the gf "I understand that you can not forget it, but are you going to forgive it?"
It sounds like she is "... (read in full...)
My ex won't respond to my calls or meet up with me. I need to tell him... I'm pregnant
Q. I have a crazy situation. If you read my back questions. I met a guy and we were crazy for each other. Spent all I time together and everything. I am still in love with him. One day he decided he needed some alone time. So he asked me said he wasn't ...
A. 9 August 2011: Not sure how you can say there were not signs about this guy.
He was 3 mos out of his marriage? 12 mere weeks...90 days!
Of course he was happy! It was probably the happiest he has been, because it was a welcome change to his ex. He was havin... (read in full...)
He won't put pictures of us together on FB but will happily post pictures of a female colleague!
Q. Hi everyone. My hubby recently get hook with facebook, with his photos posted alone. when i handed him, some photos were taken together with me.But on facebook screen, he cut it without me inside.He remark he didn't want people to know he's ...
A. 9 August 2011: I think that is rather insulting that your husband does not want people to know he is married....have you asked him why?
I can see why that would make you sad.
I do not know why he would do that, only he does. You need to be the one to tell ... (read in full...)
Fell for him at a spiritual retreat, he's married, how can we pursue this?
Q. Hi all, I met this guy last year during a spiritual trip, and I fell for him completly. I thought he was my soulmate but then found out he was married. He seems to be in a loveless relationship. I am so willing to pursue him, and also I think th...
A. 8 August 2011: People who have nothing to hide...HIDE NOTHING.
Leave him alone. He is married. If he is unhappily married, that is his mess to deal with.
There is NO reason to pursue a relationship where someone would keep you their dirty little secret.
... (read in full...)
He lied about having HIV, and I don't know if I can stay with him.
Q. Okay, so i've been going out with my boyfriend for nearly 5 months now, and i just don't know what to do anymore. i've been friends with him since we were 11, and i thought we knew so much about eachother, but ever since we've been going out h...
A. 8 August 2011: The man lied to you about exposing you to a disease that could change the rest of your life.
That is a pretty big thing to withold from someone.
From your post, it does not seem like you trust this person any more, so why allowing them in your... (read in full...)
Not where I want to be in life. Should I wait to date?
Q. Hi, There is much wisdom here, so I was wondering if I could get some feedback on my situation. I am not where I want to be in life. I do not make enough money, and am not sure about my career. Because of this situation, for years I have held...
A. 8 August 2011: You do not have to be perfect or wealthy.
Address what seems out of order in your life, but do it for yourself first.
Examine if you think the things that need to change are reasonable or if someone of substance SHOULD accept you for who you ... (read in full...)
Is my new husband of 2 weeks bicurious, bisexual or gay?
Q. PLEASE HELP! I am 24 yrs old and recently got married 2 weeks ago to a man I been knowing for about 9 yrs and dated for 7 and I love very dearly and was excited about being with him the rest of my life until yesterday. I was bein a prude when som...
A. 8 August 2011: You are not being a prude if you were questioning your husbands sexual orientation AND loyalty as his wife.
I would ask him if he is still curious. I would also ask for him to attend couples counseling regarding this new relevation. ... (read in full...)
Why does someone cheat when they have what they want at home?
Q. Before I continue with my question, I just want to clarify that I do know all about the saying "Wanting your cake and eat it too" BUT for the life of me I can't fully understanad why either a man/woman would decide to live with either their BF/GF ...
A. 8 August 2011: They could get a rush out of seeing if they still have the ability to score with someone else.
That ability to attract another person because an addiction for some.
Or...they really are not as happy at home as they claim to be.
... (read in full...)
My ex won't respond to my calls or meet up with me. I need to tell him... I'm pregnant
Q. I have a crazy situation. If you read my back questions. I met a guy and we were crazy for each other. Spent all I time together and everything. I am still in love with him. One day he decided he needed some alone time. So he asked me said he wasn't ...
A. 8 August 2011: Do you have an address you can mail a letter to?
I would do it registered mail and keep in simple.
State that you have been trying to contact him and since he chose not to meet you at your pre-arranged time, that you had to resort to notifying hi... (read in full...)
After 2 dates he left his dating profile up, how can I tell if he likes me?
Q. Hey there i have been on 2 dates with this guy i met on a online dating site ,they went well ,had a laugh ,got lots in common .But he is still goes on the website ,how can i tell this guy fancies me ,he kissed me on my cheeck ,but he is a shy guy . ...
A. 8 August 2011: If he likes you, he will ask you out again and spend time with you.
Two dates is not enough time to decide if you want to be exclusive. Do not take it as a negative thing.
He should see other people. You should too.
The only reason that dat... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex became an emancipated minor....because of him...so wrong!!!
Q. I have an unhealthy obsession with something that happened in my boyfriend's past 15yrs ago! He was a Professional singer and moved around the country with work when he met his ex. He told me a story that she was 16 and had had an abusive child...
A. 8 August 2011: If you go looking for trouble, you are sure to find it.
You mentioned several things in your post that you could take as advice to yourself.
1-You know you are obsessing and it is unhealthy. Your bf feels you are blowing it out of proportion.
... (read in full...)
He's wonderful, except we have no sex life. He resorts to porn. How do we improve things?
Q. I know that question of porn was discussed many times, but I would like to get some opinions on my particular situation. I'm in a long-term relationship with a wonderful guy. We have our little ups and downs, like in any other relationship, in gener...
A. 8 August 2011: Focus on the lack of sexual activiity and intimacy in your relationship rather than the porn. The porn may or may not be a cause, it may just be a player in this scene.
If you miss the old sexual life you had with your bf tell him THAT. Do not b... (read in full...)
I didn't cheat, but my g/f insists I did. Did I?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend since October last year, but I started dating her around May. In june - july last year I went to Europe backpacking. During this trip I met with my ex girlfriend in Vienna for 3 days (she lives in Switzerland). This was ...
A. 8 August 2011: I think your gf is overracting and you have nothing to apologize for.
You were not aware there was a committment on your gf's part when you went to Europe. Even if you HAD gotten involved with someone else, you were not currently IN a relation... (read in full...)
Why wouldn't my ex look me in the eyes when we talked?
Q. My ex-girlfriend and I broke up 4 years ago after an on again, off again relationship that lasted nearly 5 years. Breakup was mutual and amicable. She met someone a few months later and they got married and now has child. I too met someone else ...
A. 8 August 2011: I think you are overacting. She may have had a lot on her mind. If you can be friendly with eachother-consider it a blessing.... (read in full...)
Head over heels in love with married man and I know he won't leave his wife for me!
Q. Okay, I'm writing this because I'm miserable and at my whit's end of things. You've may have heard this a thousands times before, but Im simply head over heels in love with a married man and I have being for the passed year. And the worrying thing ...
A. 8 August 2011: You are right that the heart chooses what it wants, but this is one of those times where your mind, your common sense, needs to speak louder than your heart.
You already know that no good can come from a relationship with a married man, even if ... (read in full...)
Had unprotected sex, have an issue now, please help??
Q. Hey everyone Ok i had unprotected sex 2nights ago and since yesterday morning iv had a little bit of thrush :-/ I obviously did wash well after intercorse etc as you do but im a little bit worried not about sti's coz thats not an issue but can an...
A. 8 August 2011: It may not have been the unprotected sex that caused it, because it usually takes a bit longer time to develop to show.
See a Doctor for the correct medication and testing if needed. It may NOT be thrush.
... (read in full...)
What makes you keep someone in the FRIENDS ZONE?
Q. More of a vent than a question, but input is appreciated. I am a 42 yo, single parent who has taken a hiatus from dating for awhile. I seem to keep attracting men that just do NOT have their lives together or much to offer other than sex. ...
A. 6 August 2011: Actually, if you have read other responses I gave to other readers, I have agreed and considered opinions different than my own on this subject.
I do not agree with you and I have a different writing style. This does not make me rude.
No one ... (read in full...)
What makes you keep someone in the FRIENDS ZONE?
Q. More of a vent than a question, but input is appreciated. I am a 42 yo, single parent who has taken a hiatus from dating for awhile. I seem to keep attracting men that just do NOT have their lives together or much to offer other than sex. ...
A. 5 August 2011: quote: "O.P, I think this is very telling about your outlook on men. First you say there is nothing wrong with a man not wanting to date a woman with kids. Then you proceed to explain their choice by basically saying they are mentally inferior to ... (read in full...)
What makes you keep someone in the FRIENDS ZONE?
Q. More of a vent than a question, but input is appreciated. I am a 42 yo, single parent who has taken a hiatus from dating for awhile. I seem to keep attracting men that just do NOT have their lives together or much to offer other than sex. ...
A. 4 August 2011: MarieClaire..
No dear. You missed the point. But, thanks for participating.... (read in full...)
What makes you keep someone in the FRIENDS ZONE?
Q. More of a vent than a question, but input is appreciated. I am a 42 yo, single parent who has taken a hiatus from dating for awhile. I seem to keep attracting men that just do NOT have their lives together or much to offer other than sex. ...
A. 4 August 2011: Hi MarieClaire,
I am not looking for someone without baggage, but I do not have the resources to emotionally support someone with deep depression issues OR financial issues because they can not find their dream job.
Venting about an ex is n... (read in full...)
What makes you keep someone in the FRIENDS ZONE?
Q. More of a vent than a question, but input is appreciated. I am a 42 yo, single parent who has taken a hiatus from dating for awhile. I seem to keep attracting men that just do NOT have their lives together or much to offer other than sex. ...
A. 4 August 2011: Thanks folks, yes..I did tell him that my sarcastic rant in my FB was over my ex, not him. I apologized that it was read that way! (I did slip that fact in my OP).
I do value his friendship.
Dear Rescue, sorry dear, but if I choose to banter... (read in full...)
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