What makes you keep someone in the FRIENDS ZONE?
Q. More of a vent than a question, but input is appreciated. I am a 42 yo, single parent who has taken a hiatus from dating for awhile. I seem to keep attracting men that just do NOT have their lives together or much to offer other than sex. ...
A. 6 August 2011: Actually, if you have read other responses I gave to other readers, I have agreed and considered opinions different than my own on this subject.
I do not agree with you and I have a different writing style. This does not make me rude.
No one ... (read in full...)
My wife would rather surf facebook than have sex with me!
Q. Why do women say they are too tired to have sex, have a headache, etc. when the reality is they just have little to no desire to have sex? I got married quite recently, and my wife has often said she's too tired to have sex and has to go to sle...
A. 6 August 2011: Now that you are married.it ISNT only your life anymore.
This is an "OUR LIFE" and her FB addiction is affecting your relationship, not just your sex life.
Were you sexually active prior to marriage? If yes, was this how she was before?
S... (read in full...)
My wife admitted that she cheated with my friend 18 years ago
Q. My wife and I have been together for 19 years today, married for 16 of those. We have no children. We have had some ups and downs in the relationship and even separated once 11 years ago because my wife wanted to prove that she could support he...
A. 6 August 2011: You are in a state of anger and hurt and need to deal with those feelings.
You are at least being rational that running out to sleep with someone else will not fix the hurt.
My suggestion is to get back into couples counseling with this new in... (read in full...)
Onesided sex life
Q. Okay over the last 5 days me and my girl have become sexually active. Now we both were virgins so when have to take it slow when it comes to actually have sex because i end up hurting her which i comepletly understand. The thing that i really dont ...
A. 6 August 2011: You are both new to this. If you find BJ's really pleasurable, then TELL her that!
Years ago, my lover asked me to touch his nipples during sexual play. I was 20 and CLUELESS why that would be a turn on for him until he mentioned it.
It is a... (read in full...)
Can I just not find a lively girl to date?
Q. ok so i want to come close to this girl who has entered my life recently.. but i think i am destined to get only those girls who arent lively at all! Perhaps my ex has set such a benchmark that i dont see any girl who is even near to her in ...
A. 6 August 2011: Whoa, you have not even SPOKEN to her in voice?
You are basing who she is merely by texts?
Texts do not make a relationship. You can not see facial expressions, body language, tone, innuendo, or personality.
You really are not listening... (read in full...)
Does getting turned on by 2 girls porn make me gay?
Q. i have got turned on by watching two girls have sex on t.v. i was watching porn with my hubby. Does getting turned on make me gay?...
A. 6 August 2011: Nope. You are just stimulated by erotic imagery.
If you are turned on about the idea of actually BEING sexualy involved with another woman, then you might be "Bi-curious".
Some women are open to female sexual experience, but prefer male sexu... (read in full...)
How can we rely solely on my income? Is boyfriend careless or lazy?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost four months and things are going fairly well, but like most relationships, can be improved. In my case, it is about work. When we got together, he was starting a new job which was pretty well paid. ...
A. 6 August 2011: Do the two of you share a home together or any mutual exspenses?
This is a new relationship, barely out of the honeymoon phase, and he slipped. Nowdays, it is pretty typical to have a choppy work history in your early 20's. The job market i... (read in full...)
Sometimes my boyfriend gets really mean with my children. Should I listen to the voice in my head telling me to end things?
Q. Dear Aunts, I am a single mother of two loving boys, 12 and 5 years old. I am currently in nursing college. I have a boyfriend and we've been together for five years. We met 6 months after I got my second child. My children adore and loves hi...
A. 6 August 2011: As a single mom, YES, by all means LISTEN to that little voice inside your head with what you think is best for your children.
If you have their best interests at heart and he does not..there is a problem.
If your children have become accustome... (read in full...)
Sometimes my boyfriend gets really mean with my children. Should I listen to the voice in my head telling me to end things?
Q. Dear Aunts, I am a single mother of two loving boys, 12 and 5 years old. I am currently in nursing college. I have a boyfriend and we've been together for five years. We met 6 months after I got my second child. My children adore and loves hi...
A. 6 August 2011: As a single mom, YES, by all means LISTEN to that little voice inside your head with what you think is best for your children.
If you have their best interests at heart and he does not..there is a problem.
If your children have become accustome... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says my vagina is wide. I've never had kids, so what is he talking about?
Q. I'm 18. I've sex with my bf. But he said my vaginal is wide, he feels its empty when he puts it in. I dont know why my vaginal is wide. He's normal, not too big and not too small. I never have kid or abortion. I dont know why. Who can explain it to ...
A. 6 August 2011: Even with childbirth, vaginas do not aways "widen" or loosen permenantly.
Vaginas are like fingerprints. They are different for everybody, just like no two penises are alike!
You can not change his attitude, but you can change positions to inc... (read in full...)
I have a period and then get one 9 days later?
Q. I got my period at the end of last month and then 9 days later, it shows up again. This is the first time this has happened. I usually always get it at the end of the month. Now I don't know what to expect. I concerned. What do this mean? Can it be ...
A. 6 August 2011: Cycles change because hormones change. Is this extra period really unusual in (sorry for graphic) texture, flow, color, etc than your previous period?
Are you sexually active and using any type of hormonal birthcontrol?
Give your young age, ... (read in full...)
I have a period and then get one 9 days later?
Q. I got my period at the end of last month and then 9 days later, it shows up again. This is the first time this has happened. I usually always get it at the end of the month. Now I don't know what to expect. I concerned. What do this mean? Can it be ...
A. 6 August 2011: Cycles change because hormones change. Is this extra period really unusual in (sorry for graphic) texture, flow, color, etc than your previous period?
Are you sexually active and using any type of hormonal birthcontrol?
Give your young age, ... (read in full...)
Is he playing me or does he want to get to know me?
Q. what does it mean when a guy ask you for a hug and we just met. I just met him already he is asking me for hugs. The first hug friendly and second one when he gave me a goodbye hug he held me closer put his hands around my waist. he likes joking ...
A. 6 August 2011: If a man hugs me, I take it merely as a nice hug.
If he fancies me and wants more-he will show interest in other ways.
He is showing interest in you. You will not find out if it is serious or casual until time goes by.
Best Wishes.... (read in full...)
When are men going to STOP being so selfish about porn and START realizing they are destroying the woman that loves them?
Q. Some women like porn and don't mind if their bf's look at it. This does not apply to those women. This is for the rest of us, the majority. Those of us that HATE PORN and HATE HOW IT MAKES US FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES. Seriously, after all the ex...
A. 6 August 2011: *Raises a hand.
As a woman who has been with men who view porn...Im FINE with it.
Why? Because I am responsible for my OWN SELF ESTEEM.
I am ok with my guy watching porn and even watching it with him. (As long as the subject matter appea... (read in full...)
Good marriage, but I want more
Q. Hi, I want to vent and maybe get some perspective from Aunts here. I read the site often. I'm an average guy, been married for almost 15 years and together for about 20 years with my wife. We have many children and most of the time we have a g...
A. 6 August 2011: Loving someone is often like having a magnifying glass. If you focus on just one thing at a time, that is all you will see. You will see the enormity of imperfections.
Step back a bit and gain some perspective and look at your marriage as a who... (read in full...)
I'm devastated over the death of my nephew
Q. Hi everyone. Help me grieve this loss. Yesterday I got a terrible news from my home country Pakistan about my eldest nephew's death. He was 16 and perfectly healthy and growing. He hung himself and died. I was called from my home with this news a...
A. 6 August 2011: I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you peace and healing.
Allow yourself to grieve. This was not your fault.
Sincerely,
R.A.... (read in full...)
New nickname for my bofriend please?
Q. i am 15 and just was want some ideas as like other things to call my boyfriend. i contsantly call him babe and i cant really think of anything different. he calls me alot of different things like babe baby hun sweetheart and cupcake. so i was just ...
A. 6 August 2011: Does he NEED a nickname? How about just call him whatever comes from the heart and feels natural.
Sometimes, just the way you say his own given name is sweetest of all:)... (read in full...)
I want to feel loved. How to tell him? I am very happy with him but the lack of affection is bothering me
Q. Ive been with a wonderful man for the past 6 months now. We are both mature and are generally happy. He gives me the respect I deserve and I dont have much to complain except, he lacks affection (he isnt a selfish man if you see where I'm coming...
A. 5 August 2011: Hmm, I wonder if his ex cheated on him because HE was not affectionate other than sex?
Cheating is not justifiable, but I can understand why a woman would look elsewhere if she was painfully lonely and craving more attention other than sex.
... (read in full...)
What makes you keep someone in the FRIENDS ZONE?
Q. More of a vent than a question, but input is appreciated. I am a 42 yo, single parent who has taken a hiatus from dating for awhile. I seem to keep attracting men that just do NOT have their lives together or much to offer other than sex. ...
A. 5 August 2011: quote: "O.P, I think this is very telling about your outlook on men. First you say there is nothing wrong with a man not wanting to date a woman with kids. Then you proceed to explain their choice by basically saying they are mentally inferior to ... (read in full...)
I want to feel loved. How to tell him? I am very happy with him but the lack of affection is bothering me
Q. Ive been with a wonderful man for the past 6 months now. We are both mature and are generally happy. He gives me the respect I deserve and I dont have much to complain except, he lacks affection (he isnt a selfish man if you see where I'm coming...
A. 5 August 2011: Does he consider the two of you to be "dating" or in a monagamous relationship?
If you approached him asking for more affection and he is letting you know that he has feelings for you, but can not give you what you need and talks about trust.
... (read in full...)
Does my supervisor like me? he has a wife
Q. Dear cupid, I am in love with my supervisor. He is 38 nd I am 31. It was all professional until I realised how sweet and how he never ever said no to my demands..I felt he trusted me. Then one time wen I looked at him..?stared maybe subconsciuosly, ...
A. 5 August 2011: There are no winners in the state of an affair. Since this is your SUPERVISIOR, you could be nailing your career to the grave in the future if you pursue something that would eventually ruin both of your lives. Have some pride. Please.... (read in full...)
What makes you keep someone in the FRIENDS ZONE?
Q. More of a vent than a question, but input is appreciated. I am a 42 yo, single parent who has taken a hiatus from dating for awhile. I seem to keep attracting men that just do NOT have their lives together or much to offer other than sex. ...
A. 4 August 2011: MarieClaire..
No dear. You missed the point. But, thanks for participating.... (read in full...)
What does it mean for a relationship to 'move forward'?
Q. Yo so I got a question. My girl broke up with me last week because she says our relationship wasnt movin forward. I asked what that meant, I asked if it meant she wanted me to propose marriage. She said no, she didnt mean that, it was just that the ...
A. 4 August 2011: I am wondering if she was having a hard time describing something she felt SHOULD be there emotionally.
Maybe she did not feel that DEEP, emotional, "thing" that she felt she SHOULD be feeling at that stage in your relationship.
She probably ... (read in full...)
What makes you keep someone in the FRIENDS ZONE?
Q. More of a vent than a question, but input is appreciated. I am a 42 yo, single parent who has taken a hiatus from dating for awhile. I seem to keep attracting men that just do NOT have their lives together or much to offer other than sex. ...
A. 4 August 2011: Hi MarieClaire,
I am not looking for someone without baggage, but I do not have the resources to emotionally support someone with deep depression issues OR financial issues because they can not find their dream job.
Venting about an ex is n... (read in full...)
What makes you keep someone in the FRIENDS ZONE?
Q. More of a vent than a question, but input is appreciated. I am a 42 yo, single parent who has taken a hiatus from dating for awhile. I seem to keep attracting men that just do NOT have their lives together or much to offer other than sex. ...
A. 4 August 2011: Thanks folks, yes..I did tell him that my sarcastic rant in my FB was over my ex, not him. I apologized that it was read that way! (I did slip that fact in my OP).
I do value his friendship.
Dear Rescue, sorry dear, but if I choose to banter... (read in full...)
I want to draw a nude woman (not for sexual reasons), but I'm afraid to ask
Q. I am an 18 year old art student, and far from sad or weird. What I have always wanted to do is draw an undressed girl live, preferably someone I know, but have never had chance to do it. I want to ask someone, but am afraid of sounding creepy. Would ...
A. 4 August 2011: Go to a genuine art class, where nudes are scheduled for studio time.
Do not ask a friend. THAT is creepy.
Keep it professional.
I had the chance a few years ago to be part of a nude studio time. It was a great experience.
Best Wish... (read in full...)
Am I just helping her back to health so she can go on to meet someone new?
Q. I have talked about my situation before but will give a bit of context. My ex left me 5 months ago for another man claiming that although she was still in love with me she had major issues with my family, especially my mother, ex-wife and daughter ...
A. 4 August 2011: My ex left me 5 months ago for another man
REAS0NS issues with my family, especially my mother, ex-wife and daughter
discovered AFTER SHE WAS seeing another man AND LIED/DENIED IT
yOU TRIED TO to break the relationship with this m... (read in full...)
He doesn't want a relationship, but still wants to see me and have sex. Am I wasting my time with his guy?
Q. Any advice would be much appreciate. I am a single mum of one. I've been seeing a guy nearly a year now, in the begining everything was fine between us, had an amazing time and connected very well - physically and mentally. He lives a 1 hour f...
A. 4 August 2011: If you want a relationship, you are not going to GET anything from him. You are only going to be a GIVER.
... (read in full...)
Can't live with her, can't stop wanting or thinking of her
Q. A little background: I was one of those that had that "fell in love at first sight" scenario's. I had been separated from my 1st wife for a year or so and became friends with this beautiful, exciting woman. We both arrived at the same location ...
A. 4 August 2011: Has your wife ever been to any kind of treatment or counseling for her drinking problem.
You know you can not live WITH her addiction, but you love the core person of who she is. You love the Dr. Jeckyl without the Ms. Hyde.
If she has not had ... (read in full...)
Pain after sex? is this normal?
Q. My fiance and ENjoy really rough sex every now and then. we like to use toys. we always use lube. the other night we used one bigger than normal and very roughly and very deep. i started having some bleeding about two days later. still pretty steady ...
A. 4 August 2011: I would suggest you see an OBGYN for an exam. After two days, you should not be bleeding. Maybe the two of you were a bit TOO rough. Just go make sure everything is ok.
Trust me. They have heard and seen it all.
... (read in full...)
Could this technique help people to keep that 'honeymoon' feeling forever?
Q. Hey everyone, i've read loads of great advice on here about the 'honeymoon phase' of relationships, and how this fades in time in all relationships, and it leaves me wondering why we stay in long term relationships then? The honeymoon phase is great ...
A. 3 August 2011: Even the animal kingdom has a "honeymoon phase" when some species mate.
But, it is EXAUSTING to be in a constant rutting season!
Real companionship slows down, bonds deepen, loyalty takes on a whole new meaning...have you ever seen a couple tru... (read in full...)
Someone told me my boyfriend is cheating on me should I believe it or wait for evidence?
Q. I'm in love with a guy that i just found out recently has been cheating on me eveytime he goes out of town the person I heard it before is a family member of his My question is should I listen to the family member or wait until I have more evidence ...
A. 3 August 2011: Have you asked THE family member why they think your bf is cheating on you? What is THEIR evidence?
If it is just their "feeling"..let it go.
If they mention actual evidence...how would you go about checking the facts?... (read in full...)
How do I meet a woman that is worth my time?
Q. So in this past year of self reflection and detoxing myself from the dating world of getting a hook up and a crappy gf I have learned a few things. The ultimate thing it comes down to is that I am the fixer upper. I take on women with problems and ...
A. 3 August 2011: Boy, do I know about this one in my dating world.
I am on a dating hiatus at the moment because I recognized that my picker was broken and I kept picking up wounded birds. So, I will let you know what was suggested to me and how I am revamping my d... (read in full...)
How do I get my family to stop expecting me to babysit all the time?
Q. My brother and sister and law has two children: a neice who just turn two years old and a nephew who will turn one year old in September. The problem is that my brother and sister-in-law always want me to babysit. My parents and my sister-in-law...
A. 3 August 2011: Wow. I would like to shake your hand for being responsible to move out on your own and send a message to your family that you an adult and THEIR children are NOT YOUR children.
You are 26 and entitled to your own life. Just keep ignoring their ra... (read in full...)
Been in a LDR for a year and sick of waiting to meet in person! What should I do?
Q. Okay well i have been in a LDR for a year and i feel like I have a strong connection to this guy we me online 18 mnths ago;and hit it off chatted video chatted talk about any and everything! Finally we arranged to meet for my birthday that September ...
A. 3 August 2011: In a nutshell, if he really wanted to meet you and get to know you outside of the electronic world..he would have already.
... (read in full...)
The girl he likes on this competition show has a strong resemblance to his ex wife, should I leave him over this?
Q. Me and my bf watch this competition show. we usually pick our favorites. i noticed that the girl he picked has a strong recemblance to his ex wife. when they dont show her enough on the show he starts complaining that they dont show "his girl" ...
A. 3 August 2011: You are considering leaving him bc he is attracted to someone on a TELEVISION SHOW? *turns head to side and scratches head.
Darling, that does not mean he has residual feelings for his ex, it means he has a physical TYPE he is attracted to!
L... (read in full...)
At 32 I feel like life has passed me by
Q. Lately I've been feeling sad about my age; I have all these dreams but I'm scared that, at 32, I'm too old for many of them to come true. I'm afraid that it's too late and that my dreams have passed me by. I would have liked to share my life an...
A. 1 August 2011: I rememember your posts from before regarding this same issue.
Have you followed any of the advice others have given you or sought out some help to deal with your depression?
I suspect you may be fixiated on the fantasy of "The perfect mate" fo... (read in full...)
My partner treats me like a slave
Q. Help! I'm so fed up of it- My boyfriend treats me like some sort of slave! I do work part time and because he works full time its like no amount of work I do is ever good enough. I take care of the home and literally everything to do with it, our ...
A. 1 August 2011: Just because you do not work as much as him in a PAID position, does not mean he is less responsible for himself.
If you want him to participate more in the housekeeping-STOP doing it all.
No one takes advantage of you without YOUR per... (read in full...)
There's one fantasy he wont share with me, was it okay to make the offer to him anyway if he changes his mind?
Q. You guys have always given me good advice. I have written in before. I am a 31 year old woman. I wrote in earlier about my husband wanting a strip tease for his birthday and wanting to have sex with my while I was bound up. I adore my husband...
A. 1 August 2011: Tell him you would like to try it once. If the both of you are not mutually agreeable...then let it go.
Yes, it was ok for you to offer this. YOU actually liked the idea of being submissive/disciplined.
Maybe he is worried about taking it ... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned that my boyfriend lied about going to a club where he has picked up guys in the past?
Q. I'm a guy in a long distance relationship with a guy. We see each other a lot though, about ten days out of the month. Yesterday he texted me that he was going to a restaurant with some friends. Today, I saw pictures on facebook from a night out ...
A. 1 August 2011: What is wrong with him going out to a club with his friends?
Did he need to "clear" it with you first or debrief you about it later?
He said he was going out and he did. He did not need to give you a play by play moment of how he spent his ti... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a man in his forties to have a sex drive this high?
Q. Is it normal for men to have the same sex drive in their forties that they experienced in their twenties? I'm in my mid forties involved with a lovely woman who commented about my high sex drive and being very sexual, but not in a vulgar, ...
A. 31 July 2011: Hmm, I wonder if you afraid if you lock yourself into a marriage/solid commitment you would feel panicked if the sex died down. Flirting is fine, but if you are seeking out the "sex potential" while you are in a monagamous relationship..it becomes ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a man in his forties to have a sex drive this high?
Q. Is it normal for men to have the same sex drive in their forties that they experienced in their twenties? I'm in my mid forties involved with a lovely woman who commented about my high sex drive and being very sexual, but not in a vulgar, ...
A. 29 July 2011: Sex drives come in ALL shapes and sizes. It is only normal to have one!
So, if your partner is ok with the level of affection you seek and give...what was the question again?
Will you ever get past the phase? The sexual phase in a relat... (read in full...)
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