A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Ive been seeing this women for 4 weeks now. We have been out on several dates (ice skating, dinner, theme park) and I have arranged another where we will go horse riding for an hour or so.The thing is I quite like her, but it seams as if its me that has to arrange everything and do all the chasing. She doesn't initiate much of the conversation, its mostly me. When we go on dates, we always have a kiss and a cuddle and she laughs at my rather bad jokes. She smiles a lot and seams to want to be close to me (touching me on the arm etc)I just cant work out how much she likes me and as she is slightly older than me, by 3 years, I don't want to come across as being needy or immature by asking her directly. As you can probably tell ive not dated for a long time as i have been in a long-term relationship which ended 6 months ago.
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female
reader, Fate100percent +, writes (22 July 2011):
She may be shy, and just enjoy you taking the lead (or think you like to do that?)
Why not just say something like 'I feel like I'm picking all the date venues, what would you like to do? Surprise me?' Or if you want to make it seem like a 'joint effort' 'I've been thinking of going to xyz for our next date, but I can't decide, so you pick one of the three and surprise me!'
You don't have to ask her directly how much she likes you (after all actions speak louder than words!) Just say say you 'I had a great time today after xyz, hope you did to?' and see what she says. And 3 years age difference is nothing! lol
Stop analysing everything, just enjoy her company and see where it goes :-)
A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (21 July 2011):
 Do not sit back and do nothing. TALK to her.
Just say "Hey, I am running out of ideas for our dates. Would you like to plan one next time?"
Or plan out a day where you pick the activity, but she picks the resturaunt. Someone who is not used to initiating dates needs to be slowly taught. Show her how to SHARE in the planning and maybe she will pick up on her own!
If you just sit back and wait for her to approach, she might think you have become disinterested and confuse her.
Just speak up!
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A
female
reader, Star xxx +, writes (21 July 2011):
 Hey maybe she is just old fashioned, not all of us women are up on the equal rights thing.
You get on well while you are out and you have fun.
Stop analising and enjoy.
Take care xx
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (21 July 2011):
 Next time, don't do anything. Just sit back and let her call you. And if she doesn't, then she's probly waiting on you or just isn't interested. But she has to be interested since she hasn't turned down any dates. If you end up waiting too long, only then should you call her. But tell her that you don't want to be the only one making the dates and initiating the conversations.
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