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What does it mean when an ex talks badly about you for no reason?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 April 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 2 April 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

What does it mean when a relationship ends and then 6 months later your ex is talking crap about you constantly or brings you up in conversations constantly? We have a mutual friend who has told me this. It didn't end on bad terms, he actually dumped me and I didn't want to break up. I actually have a new boyfriend and have since moved on from the other. I'm just curious why he would even be talking about me 6 months afterwards... I mean we only dated for 4. My boyfriend and I have different opinions and I was curious on other people's thoughts. I think it means he isn't over me/still loves me. My boyfriend says he just hates me. Aside from the fact I did absolutely NOTHING to the guy (I can't stress that enough. I really had wanted the relationship to work and the worst I did was call him trying to make it work), wouldn't still "hating" me mean he definitely has feelings for me still? I'm just curious if I am weird to think hate means love. I always believed the opposite of love is indifference and hate means you aren't past it yet. Is that just me?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Oh and I did report the death emails. But since he didn't threaten my life, only said repeatedly that I "should die" and "your life isn't worth living, why are you still here?" that they couldn't do anything about it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I agree that he may have problems. But I also think domo kun has it exactly right. His life right now isn't quite going well, our friend said he is not only visibly unhappy but he talks about it too. I think maybe that I moved on is affecting him since he hasn't yet. When he should be the one who is moved on and happy since he is the one who ended it. That's all I can figure. He was a little disturbed and the relationship didn't end on normal terms. I always thought he was very stubborn. And he would often say he had never felt the way he felt for me towards anyone. But also would say he just sees himself ending up alone, I'm too good for someone like him, etc. So I guess he just has issues. Even so I can't understand how he could ever hate me when I did nothing and it bothers me a little. But oh well.

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A female reader, trouble89 United Kingdom +, writes (2 April 2010):

trouble89 agony aunthey i agree that if an ex still hates then they still 'feel something'. and that if you are over someone you feel nothing towards them.

However seeing as he broke up with you and its been tht long i suggest maybe he just has mental problems.

Be careful though, if he is sending you death threats i would report it!

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (2 April 2010):

Okay, I'll believe you then. Here's my take...there's a fine line between love and hate. Do you know what I mean? Say for example you get dumped...yet you were so in love with him but you're so upset by his actions that you begin to hate him. You hate him for everything...but it's usually because you still love them and they hurt you.

However, he broke up with you and you didn't want to break up. So, it sounds like he's a little screwed up somewhere. Wishing you dead? Talking a bunch of nonsense about yout when you did nothing? That's a little far fetched. Either he's a little wacky, wants attention, or your friend is completely full of crap.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

No... wrong girl sorry. Don't even have a myspace.

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (2 April 2010):

Oh GOD! Are you the same one that's all hung up over the myspace deletion?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I'm not worried about it. Just settling a discussion my boyfriend and I were having. Curious to see what other opinions on it were. And yeah part of me doesn't get why he would hate me. I mean I recieved anonymous emails saying someone wished I was dead. Which I now assume was him. I just don't get how sooo much hatred is there when he was the one that left. No part of me would ever want to go back to this person.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010):

It means your ex is a jerk and probably is jealous of your current relationship. He left you so it's his lost. If you are over him, don't worry about it...but if you still have feelings for him, that is a problem b/c if you go back to your ex he is more likely than not to dump you again.

Hate means hate dear....hate is the opposite of love. NO, your ex does not LOVE you nor is he IN LOVE with you. Me could very well miss you and is being immature and spiteful about it, but if you go back to him he will use you for what he wants and dump you again. Don't fall for it and by all means don't go back to him. You care far to much what this ex thinks about you.....

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