A
female
age
30-35,
*aural
writes:dear cupid,i suffer dissappointment in love when i was in university.although it is about 1year ago now i still suffer from it!i just really don't want to"are guys really like bad girls?my story is there is a boy in my class.he is very clever(always at the top of the class).maybe i habe a weak point for clever boys ,i have a crush for him!i think he noticed thay cause i have been uncousciously watching him(often).t one time he stared me back(i accidently disovered) and his friends teased him with me.i thought he likes me back!i flatter myself with tje thought!oh,how wrong i am!i put on my best clothes and try my nest for him to notice me!i even become a bitdisinteresyed in my study!my friends don't know about it.and one day a friend told me he's in love with a girl!i know her cauz she's in the same room and we once worked together for a term paper!she's the ying for the yang of me!she's loud and bossy and very hcontrolling!she sometimes plainly yells to a person(including me) without any reason!i can't understand him why he falls for her!besides she treated him very arshly!as for me,i feel very embarassed,shy,and thought myselfverystupid for having an inerest in boy who doesn't like me!as for her,i don't feel any jealousy,i tried my best not to have any more feelings about theem.as a result i threw both my body and soul into my study and i passed the university with grade a and with credits!i later heard that they broke up!the interesting thing is that we met again at graduation day and he seemed to try to talk to talk to me!surprised me by eyeing me constantly and trying to talk to me!but i am not a consolation prize.i have my own pide and i am not a room which he can return everytime!so i gave him no encouragement!it is been about a year now!i believe he will make further advances if we were still attending university.but it is been a year now since the graduation day and whenever i thought about it,i feel rejected and i don't know why?any advice on not to encounter such kind of enent in my life?
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broke up, crush, jealous, notice me, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, laural +, writes (30 June 2014):
laural is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your advices!i really appreciate them!the reason i didm't open up my feelings to him was that i didn't love him.now i understand and realize.i think i only impress and crush on him!sure,there's plenty of men!all i have to do is just move on!i would not give myself into self pity any longer!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2014): It's not that guys particularly want bad girls, or the other way around. Sometimes opposites attract.
What you might think would be a good match for another person, or even a bad one; they surprise you with doing just the opposite. That only means human-nature is illogical and unpredictable.
Congrats on your successful graduation.
Sometimes it takes time for someone we like to notice us. We have to be visible and available, and let them know that we might be interested in subtle ways. Otherwise; they may never notice. If we don't get any signals back that the are interested; you move on just as you did.
It's fine being shy, but how are people supposed to know we like them; if we hide and watch them like stalkers? Sometimes you have to take a chance and say hello, chat, or just walk right up and start a conversation.
I guess you have realized that there are plenty of available men; and being obsessed over one who doesn't know you exist, is no way to go. He suddenly realizes that his first choice was a bad one, and his second choice may not be as interested as before.
Give him a chance. If you no longer fancy him, politely let him down; and move on to better things to come.
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (10 June 2014):
 Well done for achieving your results. You have to look at this situation like in the early days he already had a girlfriend. You say she always shouted at him and you wondered why he stayed with her. Well he didn't stay in that situation after all. He knows you liked him and now he is free he wants to pursue you. You must be showing him a different more confident side to you and he has stood up and taken notice. It won't do you any harm to go and have a coffee and a chat with him to see if there's anything there for you now. Good luck
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