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*etina1 agony aunt

*etina1

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Hi I'm a 50+ Woman of the world. Been through divorce, lived as a single parent and work for social services. Spent 6 yrs in adult education. I've had many jobs and many experiences of working with diverse and interesting people. I know life can be hard and realize that some people don't know where to look for the answers for things that are important to them as an individual. I hope I can advise honestly and responsibly to the questions asked. Good Luck, Hope this helps. Petina1 x

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Do I yank on my chain too much?

Q.   I have been masturbating since i was about 12 and i am now 15 almost 16 year old male. Both men and women turn me on but mainly men. I masturbate 10-12 times a day and inwas wondering if that is to often? Just a thought.   ...

A.   20 January 2011: Feel free to do it as often as you like, obviously in private. It's quite normal at your age. ... (read in full...)

Do I really need to pretend like I'm too busy to hang out with him in order to get him interested?

Q.   I like this guy and my friends all know I do. When I asked them about going to hang out with him they told me that I act too available and that I should not go. The last time we hung out was a week ago and we ended up hanging out with some of my ...

A.   20 January 2011: Don't pretend anything. If you want to hang out with him, then do so. You say you are already a busy person, then hang out with him when you arent as busy. don't listen to friends on that score, sometimes they can be a bit jealous and it is the ... (read in full...)

Why is he still here, is it to make my life more difficult?

Q.   [Mod note: 2 questions combined by poster.] Q2. my boyfriend and i always fight, an i'm sick and tired of it. i hates when he restricts me ... ime not allowed to do anything. but he gets to do anything he wants. and whenn i say its unfair, he just ...

A.   20 January 2011: Most men will fantasize over pretty girls, that's a fact, they can't help it. But so do women, they look at a handsome guy. On the other issue, your boyfriend is being very controlling and that does not make for a good relationship. He shouldnt... (read in full...)

I'm really not that bad...why don't girls ever notice me???

Q.   I am a pretty average guy, at least I think. I weigh about 84kg or 185lbs, and I'm about 6ft 1inch or 185cm tall. I've never been made fun of for being ugly or anything. I'm 21 and stay in pretty good shape by working out most days of the week. ...

A.   19 January 2011: I still don't think you should give up home you are still very young in the dating game.... (read in full...)

Why cant I move on? What's wrong with me?

Q.   why can't i move on?? im still not over our breakup we had in 2004 to 2007.. he tells me that we are gona be together forever and he said aren't you happy you could never get me to say that before.. true he never said that before during our time ...

A.   18 January 2011: You are trapped by the sounds of it and the more cats you get they are trapping you even more, because you can't leave them. So You need to think about rehoming them for a start to clear the way for y our next plan. If you work, can't you get a ... (read in full...)

What should I wear on this date?

Q.   i cant decide between 5 dresses which one i should wear for a date.. please someone give me a clue on what type of dress we have to wear on a date. your answer will be appreciated...

A.   17 January 2011: A nice comfortable one. Fashionable, age appropriate. Don't show too much flesh on a first date, you want him to notice y our eyes and personality first.... (read in full...)

I'm scared of losing my parents or him!

Q.   Hi I was in a relationship with a man for 10 months, however he was 40 and I was 20 at the time and at uni. I tried talking about it with my mum and dad a month into the realtionship but straight away I got a "no way on this earth was this going t...

A.   16 January 2011: Age gap is massive really and i don't wonder your parents are worried about that. What do you want for your future and think about how it will affect if you want any children. That put aside I'm struggling with , he went back to his ex. Now why ... (read in full...)

I just don't trust her and don't know how to make things better

Q.   Ok I have a problem with my gf, when I finnaly came home from deployment and she came to visit me from her home in detriot, all was good and we had a good time. But when she went back up to detriot I feel like I cant trust her because of the p...

A.   16 January 2011: It's always very difficult to maintain a relationship when there is distance involved. Some people can do it and some people find it very hard because the contact is limited. You may need to work on the communication lines and keep that regular to ... (read in full...)

Am I in love with this girl?

Q.   Should I like her? This girl and I been through alot. I was new to this school and on october I became best friends with her. We talk about sex, flirt , go over each other alot, and pretty much talked about everything.It seem like that she li...

A.   16 January 2011: I'm sorry to say this but it's all down to the age of y ou all. This is quite common to have confused feelings at y our age and like someone one minute and not the next. She sounds like a girl that lots of boys are chasing which is also common in ... (read in full...)

I'm really not that bad...why don't girls ever notice me???

Q.   I am a pretty average guy, at least I think. I weigh about 84kg or 185lbs, and I'm about 6ft 1inch or 185cm tall. I've never been made fun of for being ugly or anything. I'm 21 and stay in pretty good shape by working out most days of the week. ...

A.   16 January 2011: Your not on your own, there's plenty of time. In England there's more single people living on their own, than married couples. I read that in a survey. So You are amongst the majority. Just a thought to make you feel better.... (read in full...)

I'm trying to get over her but then she pop into my head!

Q.   Hey all, Split up with my gf a month back we were not going out that long but everything seemed good we were getting along and her family loved me etc...she is seeing someone else which is her only friend and her family did not like him one bit...

A.   16 January 2011: That always bafffles me as well. I know a bloke who just stands on his own in the pub, not making much conversation, but on facebook he has over 300 friends. Some people just add anyone don't they?... (read in full...)

Is it right if your boyfriend ask you to go against your parents?

Q.   Dear Aunts, Is it right if your boyfriend ask you to go against your parents? I've been in a relationship for a year now with a guy whom I met online. We started it off with friendship, we haven't met in person. I like him very much, he's a ni...

A.   16 January 2011: Looking into another scenario in the future, what if.... you meet , y ou fall in love, ,then you go back home, How are you going to fund this relationship?... (read in full...)

Lump on my right armpit?

Q.   Hi, i have a lump on my right armpit, it's been three days now, and it's painful when i press it, what could be the cause? ...

A.   15 January 2011: Any lumps that come up on your body must be checked out by a doctor. Could be a cyst, an infected sweat gland , an insect bite, anything. but still needs checking out. Go to the clinic or doctors now and let him take a look at it.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't want me around his friends

Q.   My boyfriend doesnt seem to want me around his friends....we have been dating 7 months now, I have briefly met his closest friend and his wife and another older friend. Briefly, meaning they stopped by for a few minutes one day when I was at his ...

A.   15 January 2011: That's a biggy, going to a funeral, never know who is going to be there family wise. He wouldnt have had much control about that event. Maybe he is waiting for someone to invite him to a party at their house so he can bring you. If he's just ... (read in full...)

Did I just ruin the best friendship I've ever had?

Q.   i literally just told my best friend in the world that i loved her and she was so confused that i brock the aquard silence and told her i needed some time and all she could say was that she needed some time also. so now i just feel like crap ...

A.   15 January 2011: i should just carry on, like nothings changed in the friendship, she knows what you have said now, but now it's her move if she wants more. If she doesnt it will be hard for you to carry on as normal, but you don't want to lose the friendship so ... (read in full...)

Friend flirting on the girl I failed on. Need help with myself.

Q.   Earlier this year I decided to go after my high school crush. I jumped in to fast and she let me down softly (thank god) and said we didn't know each other well enough yet. I made a mistake there, and I hate myself every day because of it. I still ...

A.   15 January 2011: He's obviously getting a response from her. Possibly going about it a different way to what you did. Ask him for some tips on how to get a girlfriend next time. Show him you are over this, then maybe he will let you in on the truth about him and ... (read in full...)

Broken up, back together and now want a more exciting sex life1

Q.   Me and my bf have been together for almost 2 years now. We reccently broke up but got back together a few days later. Now don't get me wrong the sex is great, but lately i've been wanting to do different things. So my question is how can I spice ...

A.   15 January 2011: You could always buy that famous book 'The Joys of Sex'. Or similar. Get some blue movies and a bottle of wine. That works. Or even talk about what you'd like to do to him, when your out somewhere, tell him what you are going to do to him when ... (read in full...)

Shall I break my friendship with my male friend cause my husband doen't feel comfortable?

Q.   Normally I'm comfortble with male friends than women. My husband had no problem with that. I love my husband and everything is just great in the marriage. I have two new male friends recentelly. I really enjoy talking to them. I almost meet at least ...

A.   15 January 2011: Being a woman, ive always been suspicious of women who say they prefer male friends to women friends. I say it doesnt matter what sex they are if y ou hit it off with them then that's it. Been surrounded by males must be good for your ego. Some ... (read in full...)

Am I pansexual?

Q.   Ok, so I'm a 19 year old female. Lately I'e been having some problems labeling what's going on in my head. I don't know if it's just a collection of what-if's or if it's an actual thing. I'd really like to clear this up in my head, because it's ...

A.   15 January 2011: Sounds like you are a bit confused about your sexuality. I feel that once you are in a committed relationship then the feelings in y our head will settle down a bit and you can concentrate on that particular person. I'm sure a lot of people your ... (read in full...)

I don't know what to make of his behaviour!

Q.   The guy I'm seeing has also requested me a friend on facebook, I accepted. I get on kinda of late at night, he has made comments about me trying to meet someone else, told him no. I did the 21 question thing and sent it to him, he took it down off ...

A.   15 January 2011: I wonder what it is he does all day that he has to catch up with you late at night. he doesnt want anyone to know about the 21 question thing so he's hiding you for a reason. He might think it's a bit childish, or he doesnt want that kind of thing ... (read in full...)

I'm trying to get over her but then she pop into my head!

Q.   Hey all, Split up with my gf a month back we were not going out that long but everything seemed good we were getting along and her family loved me etc...she is seeing someone else which is her only friend and her family did not like him one bit...

A.   15 January 2011: You won't be able to help her popping in to your head, after all she meant something to you for a while there. You are doing the right thing by getting involved in other activities and meeting new people. Your ex knows where you are and if she has ... (read in full...)

I befriended the girl my husband cheated on me with....and I think he cheated again

Q.   i think my husband cheated on me,we have been together for almost 5 years and we have a beautiful 8 month old baby... but our relationship hasnt been as good as it used to. we have had problems bafore because he messed around with a girl(shes 18)she ...

A.   15 January 2011: I hate to say this but 'what a big mistake' befriending the woman he was having an affair with, and possibly still is. You both need to get this woman out of both your lives for anything to move forward. If he doesnt agree with this let them both ... (read in full...)

The baby's father is pushing me away

Q.   i have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. we have a 2 year old son together, and he moved back to his home town last year. he told me he would come back if i get an apartment, and now the apartment is almost ready and im in the process of signing ...

A.   15 January 2011: You've got y our flat organized now. He must have known you were going through all this and yet he still took a job near to him, and not you. i should say that he has made his choice. Concentrate on your son and yourself now and give your son a ... (read in full...)

Help with premature ejaculation

Q.   Y do I cum so fast I try to go slow but she likes it rough...

A.   15 January 2011: Practise makes perfect. I wonder why she likes it so rough as well, is she trying to get it all out of the way and is afraid to take things slower. Time will tell. I'd put it down to your ages as well. The longer you see each other the more you ... (read in full...)

Not sure if I still have feelings for my first love

Q.   Me and my ex recently got back together. He was the one that asked for me back, and I gave in eventually despite not being ultimately and definitely sure. He was my first love and during our intense relationship, we were always so happy until of t...

A.   15 January 2011: Sounds like your inbetween a rock and a hard place. Also you have hastily taken him back because you had moved on and are establishing a new life style. The question is, can he fit in to your new way of life or will he hold you back? I'm also ... (read in full...)

How can I believe that I don't have a chance with him?

Q.   I'm a freshman in college and I can't get over the teacher I fell in love with my senior year at high school. It's been over a year and I expected to be over him by now but I still have fantasies about him and CAN NOT believe that I wont ever have a ...

A.   15 January 2011: You won't be the first, you won't be the last student to fall in love with a teacher. You have put him on the pedestal, he is in command of the classroom. He is a God. Now think of him as your next door neighbour,55, single, not very good ... (read in full...)

Is it right if your boyfriend ask you to go against your parents?

Q.   Dear Aunts, Is it right if your boyfriend ask you to go against your parents? I've been in a relationship for a year now with a guy whom I met online. We started it off with friendship, we haven't met in person. I like him very much, he's a ni...

A.   15 January 2011: What if you just went to meet this guy. Who youve never met before, then it all goes flat on it's face. Then you have to go back home and face your parents? Think about that for a minute. Your parents love you, they raised you, they care about ... (read in full...)

Dating a year and he still hasn't kissed me?

Q.   i have been dating this boy for a year now and he still hasn't kissed me and i dont know how to ask..he says he cares about me and he loves me but i dont even know if he wants to kiss me...i need help please!...

A.   15 January 2011: He's probably not even thought about that. You are both young. Just enjoy what you have. What is the rush. You may spoil what you have if he isnt ready. It will happen one day when you least expect it so stop thinking about it and enjoy the ... (read in full...)

If you love someone would you ask them to move to another country?

Q.   i normally stay off the net but a few weeks ago i had a question and it landed me on this site i asked my question got some good advice and felt better so i thought ok maybe i can help someone the way i've been helped so i started answering ...

A.   15 January 2011: Youve said it yourself you don't usually encourage internet long distance relationships. I should keep him as a friend, or one of you will be in for a lot of hurt.... (read in full...)

How to make it not obvious you like a guy?

Q.   There's this guy in one of my classes that I like. But the thing is, I don't think he likes me. I mean, he teases me and hits me and stares at me sometimes but I think nothing of it. It's so obvious I like him though. Even my friend whose oblivious ...

A.   15 January 2011: Don't look at him in class. He is a bit of a bully isnt he. he is hitting you, that's not nice. Just turn your back on him and keep out of his way at all times.... (read in full...)

Why can't I remember things from my past?

Q.   My mom is a drug addict. Well, technically she's been clean for a while (though relapsed last week). Anyways, for about 6 years she was in and out of my life; she would come back and say that she was clean and a couple days later she would be gone. ...

A.   15 January 2011: When children have a normal childhood distrupted then they can just work on auto pilot. You've probably had some trauma in your early days, possibly due to your mothers neglect because of her habit. Was there anyone else in y our life, brothers ... (read in full...)

Can I learn to trust 100%?

Q.   My fiance and I have been engaged for almost 2 years, been together for almost 3. We've always had a healthy habit of fighting, but I have communication issues I've been working on. We haven't gotten married because of financial reasons and then a ...

A.   15 January 2011: These games 'world of warcraft' take up so much of their time, i don't think he could be cheating on you. He should be trying to get another job though,one that he does enjoy. He won't be looking though whilst he's on game. Maybe he doesnt like ... (read in full...)

"I love you" in the first couple of weeks of dating?

Q.   Is it normal for a guy to say "I love you" in the first few weeks of dating? I always thought it took months or years until it got to that point....

A.   15 January 2011: It's so normal. Guys and girls say it so flippantly. When true love does come it goes so much deeper. I can honestly say, because of all ive been through that my partner would give me his last breath if he could, and that is Love. The term 'Love ... (read in full...)

How do I live out the rest of my life alone by my own doing?

Q.   I have made a lot of mistakes in my life but this one's the worse. How do I live out the rest of my life alone by my own doing? She was the love of my life. If only she would give me one more chance I wouldn't tell her I would show her. I would ...

A.   15 January 2011: Obviously you have put your wife through hell. It may have come to the point of no return for her so there may be no chance of recovery. On the other hand now that you seem to be a new man you need to take all this and save it for your next lady ... (read in full...)

For girls: Initial reaction when you interact with a guy with facial tics (a result of tourettes)

Q.   I'm a 22 year old guy, I have a normal social circle of friends, and am usually very active. I have never had that much confidence when it came to people of the opposite sex, however I get along with all my friends girlfriends, so I do believe it's ...

A.   15 January 2011: Have you ever thought of doing some research and finding others with tourettes on the internet. There could be a group for you to join, exchange stories etc. You should see if you can find some of our episodes of Big Brother. Peter who won it had ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend can be very flirty and has a sick sense of humor.

Q.   I have a situation where I feel stuck and would like a second opinion. Please do let me know what you think, or if you have any good advice on how I could approach this. My boyfriend can be very flirty and has a sick sense of humor. What I am...

A.   15 January 2011: When you are in a relationship, if you don't like something you discuss it and then it must stop. Obviously if it's a reasonable request, and yours is because it's affecting the relationship a lot. If he can't do what you ask then he is not ... (read in full...)

I'm really not that bad...why don't girls ever notice me???

Q.   I am a pretty average guy, at least I think. I weigh about 84kg or 185lbs, and I'm about 6ft 1inch or 185cm tall. I've never been made fun of for being ugly or anything. I'm 21 and stay in pretty good shape by working out most days of the week. ...

A.   15 January 2011: I would say youre not on your own with these feelings. Some people are a bit shyer than others and confidence is all you need which should develop naturally as you learn more and follow your ambitions in life. Have a look at your dress sense and ... (read in full...)

Is my BF finally learning that he cant take me for granted anymore?

Q.   Hi all, just a quick question - in short my bf ( now more or less ex) took me for granted for a long time, and I allowed him too, but finally I got the strength , and backed right off, and stopped calling him, and showing him I cared as much.It ...

A.   15 January 2011: He was obviously taking you for granted before. The old saying 'Keep em mean, keep em keen' is really true. Once a woman becomes a doormat for a man then it's a passport for him to do just what he likes. Sounds like you have found a way to keep ... (read in full...)

After hacking into my husband's facebook account, my gut tells me not to trust him anymore

Q.   My husband and I have been married for a little over a year and he is a deployed contractor. Everything was going fine from what I can tell, but then I read one of his emails from his phone that he left behind asking if he "hooked up w/ the chick" ...

A.   15 January 2011: It always amazes me, these men with high flying jobs, they always find time for some other activities in their lives. If only their managers realized that this can destroy marriages. It's obvious to me that yes, he is cheating, playing the field, ... (read in full...)

How do you get to a woman's heart?

Q.   I've not been real big in the dating world here recently so I need some advice. How to you get to a womans heart?...

A.   15 January 2011: If she really likes you and wants to get to know you, then you are halfway there. Maintaining that is the hard work, putting effort in and never letting that momentum slip. That's the key to long term relationships, never letting them go sour and ... (read in full...)

He's the one and I can't let him go!

Q.   please help me..ive dated my boyfriend for over two years, we are young, but had plans to marry and have children, to the point where there names were picked out. however..we fight constatly endlessly and its gotten to the point where ive ended the ...

A.   15 January 2011: I would have said if he loves you , you both will find away. But i cant get my head around him 'ignoring ' you in public places. Wonder what that's all about. I wonder if he's frightened of a scene and you embarrassing him front of his mates if ... (read in full...)

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