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... Send *etina1 a private message | | | *etina1's profile:Hi I'm a 50+ Woman of the world. Been through divorce, lived as a single parent and work for social services. Spent 6 yrs in adult education. I've had many jobs and many experiences of working with diverse and interesting people. I know life can be hard and realize that some people don't know where to look for the answers for things that are important to them as an individual. I hope I can advise honestly and responsibly to the questions asked. Good Luck, Hope this helps. Petina1 x |
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Do I throw away all the good things I have with him for some facebook/google searches?
Q. I love my boyfriend very much. I've been with him near two years with plenty of commitment on his part. But my heart is breaking because he can't let go of his ex girlfriend from four years ago. I know that everyone says - don't be second choice...
A. 9 June 2014: Hi, I think this is quite a normal reaction with anyone really who've split from their partners after a few years. I think he could just be suffering from 'curiosity' to see how her life has panned out. He still cares in a way that he'd like to ... (read in full...)
Do I throw away all the good things I have with him for some facebook/google searches?
Q. I love my boyfriend very much. I've been with him near two years with plenty of commitment on his part. But my heart is breaking because he can't let go of his ex girlfriend from four years ago. I know that everyone says - don't be second choice...
A. 9 June 2014: Hi, I think this is quite a normal reaction with anyone really who've split from their partners after a few years. I think he could just be suffering from 'curiosity' to see how her life has panned out. He still cares in a way that he'd like to ... (read in full...)
My fiance jokes all the time. He's never serious anymore. How should I deal with this?
Q. My fiance always jokes. I am a humorous person and I like to joke, but not as much as he does, which is all the time. For example, when I call to say good morning he answers, “and what do you want now?”, and laughs. I know he loves me so much, ...
A. 23 February 2011: He sounds as if he is so happy,probably because he has you in his life. Trust me, as soon as he does have something to worry about, then you will see the real person behind the mask. He could be using humour to conceal something that he would ... (read in full...)
Our sex life is almost non existent and its really making me feel badly about myself
Q. Me and my fiance have been together for almost four years now we have a beautiful daughter together. I just don't know what to do anymore I love her with all my heart but something has to change, I'll put it like this my gf makes me scared and ...
A. 17 February 2011: It sounds like your fiance has changed since your daughter came along. Does the little boy feel left out now because he will be picking up on the change in the environment also when he comes over. your fiance could have many reasons why she shuns ... (read in full...)
I'm not ready to have a baby yet...I want a career first. Does that make me selfish?
Q. hey. ok ive been in a relationship 4 a while and we both quite serious now he has started talking about having babys which is fine in our culture and everyone does it it is the accepted thing. but i dont want to im afraid to tell him so, it is a sig...
A. 15 February 2011: It's always a very good idea to finish your career before babies, no matter what culture you are in. Especially for a woman. this is what will make you independant in y our own right. Even though the idea of having babies and being in a permanent ... (read in full...)
Wife says she wants to have sex, but everytime I ask her then she says no
Q. ok, here's my situation, me and my wife has dated for 2 1/2 years and been married for a year and 4 months, we had some fights, and every since, she's been kinda weary around me. we haven't had "alone time" in 6 months. 2 of which she was recovering ...
A. 9 February 2011: Your wife has had a shock with her cervical cancer. She may be worried that she could get it again, seriously. You could try and use condoms and that way she may feel that she will be safer. She could be in some pain still, or not feeling right ... (read in full...)
How can I start trusting him again?
Q. Well, how to start this, i have a bf and we are together for about 2 years. And for these past few month, i somehow know that he is cheating on me with his ex gf. He was dump badly with this girl and thrown him away from her life. That girl cheated ...
A. 9 February 2011: he is having his cake and eating it, that's what they say when you are in two relationships. He can't shake lose his ex girlfriend, he has strong feelings for her. When she did not want to know him, he found you and developed feelings for you. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't give 100%
Q. So Im thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend. He's got alot of great qualities - we have a blast hanging out, he makes me laugh and i can see a future with him.He constantly talks about us being married, living together, kids etc. The only ...
A. 9 February 2011: Sounds like you are trying to mould him into the perfect guy for you. He is obviously struggling with self esteem and confidence. It's still early days into your relationship as well. what i would suggest is go a bit further down the line. Don't ... (read in full...)
How do you stop crying over a man who treats you like crap?
Q. How do u stop crying over a guy you honestly sincerely know isn't good enough, treats you like crap, then says "i love you"? This guy messed with me for two years. I honestly did love him but our relationship was completely dysfunctional, but there ...
A. 9 February 2011: Home in on the other guy and put all your energies there. You will soon be able to break free from the one who you've been fighting with. Someone who treats you like crap one minute then is nice the next is playing with your head. you can do ... (read in full...)
Should I turn off my emotions to save myself years of delusion?
Q. During this past summer I met a great guy but I knew he was leaving back for college which was 6 hours from my home. We developed very strong feelings for each other but never called it official because we knew he was leaving. I tried and tried not ...
A. 9 February 2011: It's hard to turn emotions off just like that. What you could do is let him be free to do what he wants and don't make him feel that you are his responsibility. By maintaining the friendship only you can cope better. Don't be looking too far in ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is distant and she acts like I don't exist! What should I do?
Q. Recently, my girlfriend has become distant, especially since her mum and son went on holiday. Now, she's acting like I don't exist anymore. What should I do? ...
A. 9 February 2011: She could be missing her son and finding it hard to cope not knowing how he's doing. Just be supportive. If she has other issues just have some patience and let her know you are there for her. If she needs some space let her have it.... (read in full...)
Try to get back together or let her go?
Q. So here is the deal; Me and my girlfriend were together for almost two years and everything went fine. Sure we had our little arguments but we never had a real fight. It always felt like we completed each other in many ways. Then a few months a...
A. 9 February 2011: Sounds like you have done your best and she has refused you more than once when you suggested, talking, getting back, trying again. I should just put it down to experience now. She knows y our feelings she knows where you are, leave the first move ... (read in full...)
Our arguments are ruining our relationship. Now is mother is interfering! What should I do?
Q. I'm really upset. My boyfriend and I have been on and off for a few years. We have been arguing recently. Last weekend, we argued because he was asleep all day and night for a couple of days. Although, I do feel sorry for him because he has a back ...
A. 9 February 2011: Firstly, his mother should not be getting involved, she has made things worse by doing this. It does sound like he is confused about the situation and i think theres an element of boredom from both sides as well. Possibly because of the lack of ... (read in full...)
My ex is ruining my new life!
Q. Hello everybody. Here goes. I split up with my ex about 6 months ago. It turned out she was having an affair. I basically lost everything. She now lives with him in our flat, etc. The thing is I'm not bothered about this and I'll tell you...
A. 31 January 2011: Your girlfriend is getting mixed messages all the time. She's listened to your ex telling her lies, there should have been absolutely no communication between them and you must try not to let her do that again, cut all ties with your ex. Your ... (read in full...)
How to tell if he likes me or is just looking for a booty call?
Q. Ok i met this guy from the internet and weve been talking for awhile but he tells me that he doesnt want to rush into a relationship, because all his other relationships never worked out. Well we use to text each other everyday and now he wont even ...
A. 28 January 2011: From what i read here it does sound like y ou are a booty call. He is too flighty to be able to get any more sense of seriousness out of him and 'busy all weekend', that would make bells ring big time for me.... (read in full...)
How to tell if he likes me or is just looking for a booty call?
Q. Ok i met this guy from the internet and weve been talking for awhile but he tells me that he doesnt want to rush into a relationship, because all his other relationships never worked out. Well we use to text each other everyday and now he wont even ...
A. 28 January 2011: From what i read here it does sound like y ou are a booty call. He is too flighty to be able to get any more sense of seriousness out of him and 'busy all weekend', that would make bells ring big time for me.... (read in full...)
Baring my soul here after my life changed drastically. How do I salvage my marriage?
Q. Hi - I'm very curious to hear people's responses please. My husband and I have been together 14 years (Im now early 30s -he's mid 30's). I realize now that I met him at a very vulnerable time in my life. I needed a lot of attention and I was just...
A. 27 January 2011: My thoughts are sometimes going into therapy isnt a good thing. Some people sort their own therapy out by doing caring jobs etc and this brings in a feeling of self worth. Also I think that your age could have also brought these memories on ... (read in full...)
How do I increase semen volume?
Q. How do I increase my semen volume? I am looking to do this both for the fact we are trying to conceive and I want to maximize my semen, and also because we are both into the volume of it... me because it makes orgasms feel better, her because she ...
A. 25 January 2011: Vitamin C Vitamin D and zinc. apparantly does the trick. I've also heard that the Herb MACA makes it thicker. If all else fails go and see your family planning clinic.... (read in full...)
What to get my guy for Valentine's Day?
Q. Please help me :) What can I get my bf for Valentine's? (besides, wearing some hot, sexy lingerie for him and learning some strip teasing ;) =D I'm so excited!) We've been going out for 5-6 months. He is 30+, likes football alot, he is a cou...
A. 25 January 2011: He certainly liked the delivery of fruit to his work, you could send something else, Football tickets to the next game in a gift card. Or tickets to the theatre for a change, or cinema. ... (read in full...)
How do you know if a girl is really enjoying having sex with you?
Q. Hello, my question is mostly for the girls but i dont mind having different points of views, that would be greatly appreciated, i just want to know how to tell that the girl is actually enjoying having sex with you? i mean during intercourse how do ...
A. 25 January 2011: Orgasms can be faked. The only way you 'd be able to tell is if y ou are in a long term relationship and get to know how she feels about you, not just the sex. She will advise you on what makes her tick, then you will know for sure.... (read in full...)
How to get her back???
Q. I started dating a girl i work with about 4 months ago, over the time of the relationship i got very jealous and paranoid as she is polish and when she spoke to other men or her friends in polish i got worried what she was saying. She always told me ...
A. 25 January 2011: good luck!... (read in full...)
Why am I always alone?
Q. Where do I start off? I'm just always aloneeeeeeeeee! I'm pushing 20 and I'm a very pretty girl. But I want a boyfriend. I don't get it, I only had 1 boyfriend and ugh that was when I was 17. I don't care for him at all. But I want male attention, I ...
A. 23 January 2011: I'll bet y uo anything once you start school in March it will all fall in to place. Someone is there waiting for you. Attend as many parties as y ou can, meet other girls to hang around with. The age that you are at now can be the best years of ... (read in full...)
I am pregnant, we broke up, now what?
Q. my boyfriend and i broke up like 3 days ago. and i was panning to move on so i asked him if that was okay since i am having his kid. he said that he didnt wont me to move on because i have his kid. he said he didnt wont me to give his kid a ste...
A. 23 January 2011: Let him know that you and your child come as a package, you can't stay around just because he wants to see his kid, you have your life to sort out. 3 days isnt very long to know the relationship is over especially now he knows your pregnant. You ... (read in full...)
What did I do? Why is he treating me this way?
Q. Sorry it so long. but i had to explain the details I am a 27 year old lady. I am having an ongoing situation. One of my friend, a married guy (about 43 years of age), and his wife who was good friends with me for few years. Thought of them a...
A. 23 January 2011: I'm wondering if he has been having an affair with y our friend, wife found out, now she doesnt trust him with anyone. She may not want him talking to any females. It does seem to be bothering you quite a lot but also if you say him and his wife ... (read in full...)
I'm nervous and don't know what move to make next!
Q. Ok so i recently met this guy at a bar. He immediately came up to me and asked me if i would like a drink. So we ended up chatting for the rest of the night, and he walked me home. We then spent the rest of the night talking. Finally, I started ...
A. 23 January 2011: I'm wondering how many days he's left it. He must need his glasses as well. You were ready for a one night stand no matter which way you look at it. It may have seemed a good idea at the time for him because he'd had a drink but when he's sobered ... (read in full...)
I'd like to slow down and focus more on foreplay with my boyfriend. Any ideas?
Q. Hey, I'd love some advice from girl and guy readers on how to give my guy great foreplay, please:) We've been together 4 months, and things are great. We're very physically attracted to one another, and usually go straight from kissing to ...
A. 23 January 2011: Never mind what 'guys' like, the big secret to your success would be to find out what 'Your' guy likes. Simply tell him what you would like for him and let him tell you what he likes. Everyone is different and so is he. Try it.... (read in full...)
We broke up, and he wants some space. I want to work things out. Need advice!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together about 8 months. We live together and we're planning a future together. Problem is that we are both dominate personalities. We both are used to doing things our way with little resistance. This has started all ...
A. 23 January 2011: Looking at the legal side, if your name is on the rent book, in joint names, he can't stop you from staying there. If not, stop paying the rent. See if he can manage on his own then. But i must say 8 months is not long enough to be able to have a ... (read in full...)
My husband refuses to meet our daughter's ex crim boyfriend!
Q. My daughter is 18 and a senior in high school. Last year she met a man 5 years older than her and now they are dating. He is also an ex-con (time for drugs)and a tatoo artist. I found out last year that she was writing to him in jail. He is now out ...
A. 23 January 2011: She is your husbands little girl and he wants more for her that's natural. Just let y our daughter carry on and see how it goes, when your daughter comes home happy that will make your husband see what effect this guy is having on her and he may ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to press charges on my ex if he keeps calling and texting?
Q. I broke up with him a week ago and every two days so far, he text me saying that he wants to talk private and keeps asking what he did wrong--I said i was simply was miserable in the relationship and I'm all wrong for him. I don't get it; I thought ...
A. 23 January 2011: Change your phone number. Or if he doesnt stop phoning you can get on to the phone company for them to block his calls. yes you can make an official complaint to the police dept. and you can get an injunction on him not to come within so many ... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do and I feel helpless.
Q. Ok where do I start. Well first off me and my girlfriend have been together for five years. We loved each other very much and helped each other get through very tough times in our life. She has always dealt with bouts depression and I have helped ...
A. 23 January 2011: Sounds like she is having the best of both worlds flitting from you to him. One of you needs to make a decision for her to help her out in all her confusion. You could let her know not to come and see you again until she has ditched him. you will ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to be mine?
Q. So I have this guyfriend and we've known each other forever (his mom use to babysit me) around the time I was 19 we started hooking up having sex and hanging out and stuff I started to develope feelings for him and ended our "sexual friendship" I ...
A. 23 January 2011: If he and his girlfriend have broken up then there shouldnt be a problem. The problem would be to make sure it is over for good. He will be on the rebound now so be sensitive to that but always have in the back of your mind that its early days and ... (read in full...)
Did my ex just use me for those couple of days?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago and was devastated. We've recenly been in contact a lot. He says he still feels the same about me as when we were together but worried about us getting back together incase things go wrong again. ...
A. 23 January 2011: Yes it sounds like he used you for whatever reason, he could be in a relationship with someone else now because he's not got in touch. It's been very bad manners on his part just to see you for two days then no reply. don't go chasing the answers ... (read in full...)
I find it very hard to trust people!
Q. hey ok my bf has this major issue about me not trusting him. i find it very hard to trust pple especially since i have had alot of bad relationships in the past. anyways he like does all this like sort of tests to try and get me to trust him like h...
A. 23 January 2011: Are you saying, he is taking money off you, for long periods, and asking for more? If so then you would be right not to trust him, for he may just be using you for your money. Don't lend him anymore. Maybe the past relationships havent been good ... (read in full...)
Girl is in 4 year relationship but she cheated on BF with me...
Q. My girl has been dating a her current boyfriend for 4+ years. She cheated on him with me 5 months ago and we both have deep feeling for each other. We've repeatedly told each other that we love each other. She's still in her current relation...
A. 23 January 2011: I would say that she is having her cake and eat it. If you want to test her you could do two things, 1. Leave her and let her know where you are when she is single again. 2. Tell her if she doesnt tell her bf that you exist then you will. But i'll ... (read in full...)
Am I the only one working on this relationship?
Q. ive been in a relationship for 6 months now and with all my heart love this boy! id do anything and everything for him! and i know he would do the same for me? he says he would but he never shows it? i feel like im the only one making an effort to ...
A. 23 January 2011: You have only been with him for 6 months. He is very controlling with you. Are you going to give up your dreams for him and sit in a box with him day after day, not going out in to the sunlight and enjoying y our self. This type of relationship ... (read in full...)
His behavior is confusing me. What is his angle?
Q. Hi everyone, Okay so I like this guy but am a little confused by his behavoir. I am in High School and we used to text a lot because we didn't have any classes together but liked each other.( We would flirt with each other, when we texted.) Anyway,...
A. 23 January 2011: He's probably taken the texts as far as he can, maybe he wants more from you,like conversation. Lots of texts can dry up after a while. He may have simply run out of credit.... (read in full...)
Am I being dumped or is this salvagable..or do I want to run.
Q. So I was or maybe still am seeing this guy, I met him about a 7 weeks ago. For the last three weekends we have spent the time together. He told me that he was out of his relationship his marriage for a long time, but i found out he was actually ...
A. 23 January 2011: Sounds like he is going back to the other relationship. He has used you to fill in the voids whilst he has been sorting his move back to her. He has been on rebound with you. Don't forget, he kept the truth away from you, why would you want to ... (read in full...)
Did he expect me to wait around for him forever?
Q. hi! so ive been in love with this boy adam for 2 years ive told this boy my feelings for me acouple times and he never gave out one clue that he liked me. all he would say is aww that was sweet we should hang out but we never did get around to it! f...
A. 23 January 2011: Adam had a girlfriend when he dated you, so he two timed his girlfriend. Where is he now? He is with her. He could quite have easily been with you, but he's with the one he really wants. Try to get him out of your system and stay with Garrett ... (read in full...)
Is dating this commitment phobe going nowhere?
Q. I have been seeing someone for about 2 years.. He is a commitment phobe and doesnt want kids.. I want commitment.. And I have 2 kids. Its not like he didnt notice.. But anyway.. We spend so much time together.. We are very happy together.. He shows ...
A. 23 January 2011: I'm wondering why he is feeling the need to have a few weeks off from seeing you. I'm also thinking he is seeing other women for more than just friendship. I think he knows you wil be there for him, so he is having fun, knowing he can always come ... (read in full...)
How can I start a conversation and at the same time show that I'm interested in her without looking like a creep?
Q. I sent a friend request to a girl I like on facebook. The girl is not totally a stranger to me. We have at least 20 mutual friends and she used to go to the same high school. Unfortunately we had no class together. I do remember seeing her in ...
A. 23 January 2011: I think the 'it's complicated' could be either the guy she is seeing is married or in a relationship, or she could be in and out of a relationship that's going nowhere. But whatever it means, it means there is someone there and obviously she's not ... (read in full...)
Help these confused feelings...
Q. Heyy im 13 years old and for about 2 years or so ive been havin feeling for girls and no longer boys , ive told most of my friends but 1 or 2 think its just a phase but im 99 percent sure im lesbian , coz theres a girl ive fancied for a really long ...
A. 23 January 2011: If your friends are the same age group as you then sooner or later they will feel different about things, it's all to do with adolescent, I'm sure some of them are feeling the same way it's just that they don't know how to analyze it or make sense ... (read in full...)
I'm scared my ex boyfriend is going to hurt me again
Q. Hi all, Please can you advise on this, as I am very confused. I went out with a guy for a while and fell totally in love with him. However, he took advantage of that, and we fell out over lots of things and the relationship became very stressful and ...
A. 23 January 2011: Good Luck, when you weaken, draw strength on all the negative things you've been through with him, always remind yourself, it will be like that again. That should get you through.... (read in full...)
I'm scared my ex boyfriend is going to hurt me again
Q. Hi all, Please can you advise on this, as I am very confused. I went out with a guy for a while and fell totally in love with him. However, he took advantage of that, and we fell out over lots of things and the relationship became very stressful and ...
A. 22 January 2011: You've already given him his starting point by letting him come in to your home and doing jobs for you. Did he do these jobs before? It could be a ploy to win you over again. I wonder if he's been seeing someone else and it's fallen flat so he's ... (read in full...)
Help these confused feelings...
Q. Heyy im 13 years old and for about 2 years or so ive been havin feeling for girls and no longer boys , ive told most of my friends but 1 or 2 think its just a phase but im 99 percent sure im lesbian , coz theres a girl ive fancied for a really long ...
A. 22 January 2011: You are only young. I'm not saying you are a lesbian or you arent but you certainly are at the right age where hormones are all over the place and they can send some really strange thoughts on things into our heads at that age. You just need to be ... (read in full...)
How to get her back???
Q. I started dating a girl i work with about 4 months ago, over the time of the relationship i got very jealous and paranoid as she is polish and when she spoke to other men or her friends in polish i got worried what she was saying. She always told me ...
A. 22 January 2011: You could just carry on as y ou are doing and having fun at work etc. Then maybe you could get close again when you go on holiday in March.... (read in full...)
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