My ex's gf is driving a wedge between my kids and their dad. How should I deal with this?
Q. Hi Dear Cupid Im writing this through rage and tears... Me and my ex broke up 3 years ago, we have two amazing children together, He has moved on and has a child with another girl, their relationship is rocky most of the time, My ex has a bad Alc...
A. 27 May 2013: Your fight should not be with your ex's new partner... Your fight is with HIM. He is the father of your children and he needs to put on some pants and stand up for his right to visit his children and to attend important functions. Your anger is ... (read in full...)
I'm married so why am I seeking validation from other men?
Q. I'm a married woman in my twenties who still seeks validation from every man I see or meet. Meaning, I want them to find me attractive. What does that mean? Am I screwed up in the head, or are a lot of women like this? How do you get past something ...
A. 27 May 2013: It's nice to look good! So I think making an effort on hair and clothes is a plus. Its also great to get some attention from men... its flattering to the ego and makes us feel pretty and desirable... the problem in this situation is the level of ... (read in full...)
Is he pushing me away?/ I know he is pushing me away. How do I go about this?
Q. Hi, I am getting the feeling my boyfriend is distancing himself from me. We are in a long distance relationship (different continents), UK and Canada. So we already couldn't be more farther apart. I just came back to canada for uni for summe...
A. 27 May 2013: I think you're looking for water in a dry well! It's difficult to maintain long distance relationships so in order for them to work... BOTH parties need to be committed to the cause. If you are the one making the calls to listen to him harp on about ... (read in full...)
It bothers me that my b/f has a tatoo on his foot of the day his g/f died
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year. He has a tattoo on his foot representing the date that his first girlfriend died in a car accident several years ago. At the beginning of our relationship I didn't mention the tattoo, but ...
A. 27 May 2013: I'm sorry but I have to agree with him. Its part of his life... he made this tattoo before he met you. We all have our pasts...it just happens that this tattoo is a constant reminder to you of someone he loved and lost. But she is dead and you can't ... (read in full...)
I want this older man but his wife is fighting tooth and nail to keep him!
Q. hi i just want to know what you all think i should do about this situation. im 23 and i met a guy at work, we have been talking alot, and he watches me when i work, i work in the office on the second floor and he works at the desk on the first floor ...
A. 27 May 2013: Hunny!! I do believe you both can turn back the clock and fall out of love!!! You have not thought this through and neither has he! You are 23 and you are with someone 26 years your senior... To him, with the age difference and his life ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to take care of my children and my brothers and sisters because my father is an alcoholic. HELP!
Q. I am losing my mind. I am taking care of my two small children by myself as a single mother and on top of that I am also taking care of my Dad's kids. My brother and sisters. They are driving me absolutely crazy. They have no parental supervis...
A. 27 May 2013: This is a lot to deal with for anyone. So let me just take my hat off to you for managing so far! If I were you, I would make my priority the raising of my 2 children. As a single mom your children will need all your attention. You want to make sure ... (read in full...)
Are there some women that just do not like receiving oral sex?
Q. Hi there, I have a question about oral sex on a woman friend (or lack of). Several months ago when we first became intimate, she performed oral on me (with condom)and i politely asked if i could return the favour. The answer to my question was 'No, ...
A. 24 May 2013: I would ask her if and why she doesn't enjoy it.. Many women I know do not enjoy oral sex..... It really depends. Maybe she's bn with someone that didn't do it good and it disgusted her so she doesn't like the idea of it... Or... Plan and simple .. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend pointed out a larger girl to me and said if I ever got that fat he would dump me!
Q. I am 27 and have been with my boyfriend for just under 4 years. At the weekend we were on a night out and he pointed out a woman on the dancefloor who was probably a UK size 14/16 and he told me if I ever get as fat as that he will dump me! Now this ...
A. 23 May 2013: I think that its not fair to allow yourself to gain weight and expect him accept that! When you started dating... you were slim and maybe that's what he likes! And by making this comment to you ... I believe he is showing you how important an ... (read in full...)
We broke up. What life lessons can I learn from this?
Q. hi aunts and uncles.... i finally got the chance to ask my ex after a year and a half of being seperated and divorced, why he left me. i wanted to know what mistakes i made so that my next relationship would not end up breaking up because of a...
A. 23 May 2013: To be honest.. I think that the last person you should be looking to get life lessons from is from a cheater!
He cheated with someone younger... and now to make himself feel better...he is putting this on you! And you are seriously asking him what... (read in full...)
My Wedding. Does any one have any solutions? I'm just terrified of everything and everything revolving around me
Q. Hi! So I dont really know what to do for this, but I'm afraid of my wedding. I'm not afraid of commitment or anything and Im not afraid to go to other peoples weddings- just afraid of my own. I start looking at venues or dresses and just panic. ...
A. 22 May 2013: It's your wedding - YOUR DAY!!! For this day... you have to put you first! If you like a dress...then that's the dress for you. If you like a venue then ...its your venue... what people think... they will have to keep to themselves because this is ... (read in full...)
Sister and husband had an affair, and I am expected to act all happy at family gatherings!
Q. Dear Cupid, I'd married my first love for more than 10 years. we have one college daughter. Few years ago, I found out he cheated with my younger sister. I filed for a divorce, but never left our house beacause he was begging, crying ...
A. 13 May 2013: I think before you do anything... you need to talk to your family about this situation. This way I am sure they will be able to support you and help you find the strength to make your decision to leave this man. If for any reason you decide to ... (read in full...)
How can I get my best friend back? Does he hate me or is this because of his girlfriend?
Q. I'm hoping for some advice on how to get my male best friend back. We were best friends for 6 years and since its all been thrown away I feel lost. He was like my twin, we had exactlly the same personality, humor, interests and to be honest I miss ...
A. 7 May 2013: I can understand why this is upsetting to you. Having to let go of someone when you are not ready to and having to deal with the gap in your life that he once filled. BUT... in order to have a friendship...this involves more than one person wanting ... (read in full...)
He is drunk every day and flirts with others. Does this mean he'll cheat while I am in hospital giving birth? Or am I having pregnancy paranoia?
Q. if a man is drunk every day and will flirt in front of you. Does this mean he is likely to cheat when you're not there? I am weeks away from giving birth so i am not very attractive at the moment. not sure if it's pregnancy paranoia or not......
A. 7 May 2013: I think that you have answered your own question. He is drunk everyday and flirts with others and you have a baby on the way... I mean Really...are you seriously worried about him cheating when you're off having the baby?
... (read in full...)
I've lost my boyfriend and a lot of my friends and now my lifestyle has changed dramatically, where do I go from here?
Q. My 3 year relationship ended recently. Not only have I lost my boyfriend but I've also lost a majority of my friends because a lot of my friends were my boyfriends friends. They're all still friends obviously and are always doing things together ...
A. 30 April 2013: Break-ups are hard and people deal with them differently. You need to be patient with yourself. It's a recent break-up, so take this time to focus on closure with your ex - you could go to the gym more, start running, join a class, whatever ... (read in full...)
M I overreacting from my supposed best friend telling everything to my now ex?
Q. I lived next door to a woman my age with children the same age as my son. I felt lucky to have moved into a home so close to someone I could relate to and chat with, and our kids could play together. My boyfriend and I were fighting a lot, and I ad...
A. 19 February 2013: I think that you acted in exactly the way any person would! You have every right to be angry because she was out of line! She really had no right to pass on your discussions to anyone else!
However, if I were you, I would not cut her out complete... (read in full...)
I can't get over my ex. What is wrong with me?
Q. its been six months now i really love him . i have tried everything .friends jobs even family .i have read books .posted on line . used the no contact . even if i didn't matter to him . he would have called me even once he took me out of his life ...
A. 18 February 2013: Hunny, you don't really have a choice here. He moved on and you have to do that too! Its hard but if you keep looking back and thinking of him, you are constantly making space for him in your mind and in your life! There is no easy solution!!! You ... (read in full...)
I want my baby's daddy back but he has a new girl
Q. Me and my Baby Dad still love each other. he has a new girl he is dealing with and thats fine because i know i ran him away in some sense. I'm women enough to admit my faults i keep giving him baby mama drama and i cant seem to stop even when i t...
A. 18 February 2013: The more you keep acting up and not getting a grip of your emotions, the less likely this guy is going to respect you and take you seriously! You really need to get a grip of your emotions and respect his decision to move on! If you behaved ... (read in full...)
Caught in the middle of manager and co-worker. What do I say now?
Q. on friday one of my co workers"a" asked me to text my manager to see if he wants me to come in on sunday. i text my manager to ask him and told him "a" asked me to check with you in the morning. when i did he said a" did not work yesterday. i told ...
A. 18 February 2013: Just because I took the time to read this .. that I will reply! Really? Really? Where is the problem here? Don't say anything to anyone unless asked to verify the situation....Else tell the Manager to contact A if he/she has any questions about A's ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is always too busy! He says he'll call me but he never does.
Q. dear cupid my boyfriend has been very "busy" lately. I'll call him and he will either be sleeping or "busy", and then hes like I'll call you back but he never does! i always wind up calling him the next day and i don't see him as much as i would ...
A. 14 February 2013: It hurts to deal with the reality but if someone is interested in being with you and making you happy..then thats what he/she will do! If you are having to fight for his attention, competing with friends, job, etc... then its usually a good idea to ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my dad from being racist towards my girlfriend?
Q. [Mod Note: Personal and location details have been removed for anonymity] I'm 27, my girlfriend's 28, and she's Polish-Mexican-American (well, Polish-American on her father's side, and Mexican-American on the mother's side), and we've been together...
A. 14 February 2013: I think you need to really stand up to your dad! You have to be firm and tell him that he is being disrespectful to you and your gf! He has raised you and I am sure he loves you to death but as an adult you have to make your own decisions and he ... (read in full...)
Am I doomed for a lonely life because I am fat? Are all the good men shy? And can men see beyond the weight?
Q. I am fat, and I think that is why men don't notice me. I dress up, take extra precautions to be presentable, and work hard to not be a turn-off and seem friendly in general. I am pretty well educated, usually non-controversial, and can carry a ...
A. 13 February 2013: Weight is not everything.. but it is a very big factor in finding someone. I think when a girl takes care to work out and be fit and slim, it shows a certain amount of self preservation. I am not saying you don't have this... but since you ask... in ... (read in full...)
I can't get over that my husband was in love with his best female friend
Q. I cannot stop being so terribly sad. My husband was in love with his best friend (female) for a ways into our relationship. When I found out, we were already engaged, and had been together for a couple years. I was crushed, but so in love with him ...
A. 5 February 2013: Don't let your insecurities get in the way of your happiness!!! I have fallen in and out of love tons of times... I was so in love with my ex... didn't work out and now I love my present! You are feeling insecure and jealous over a PAST ... (read in full...)
How do I get past this traumatic abusive depressing relationship with my ex?
Q. I finally broke up with my boyfriend of two years. I started dating him during a very traumatic time of my life and I was looking to be saved and he was a charmer. Soon into our relationship I noticed very possessive jealous behaviour. He was not ...
A. 5 February 2013: Hunny, you need to make a decision and stick to it! You cannot break up with someone and then have him tell you what to do... meet me here, don't talk to so and so, etc! You have to cut that right out!!!
People only treat you how you allow th... (read in full...)
Is there anyway a doctor could diagnose me without having to touch me down there?
Q. hi all, this is going to be a weird/awkward/gross question... but, I don't know where else to ask. I vaguely remember this... when I was probably 11 or so, I found a sort of sex toy or maybe a ring thing that would go around the guy and it vibra...
A. 13 November 2012: Doctors deal with so many thousands of cases of all sorts of stuff a year. So if you ask me...there isn't much they haven't seen. They are also bound by confidentiality. You should just put your best game face on...go and get the problem dealt with! ... (read in full...)
Depressed at 23, my life is going nowhere
Q. I'm 23 and feel like my life is going absolutely nowhere, I left school at 15 with decent grades, enough to take any college course I wanted, but instead went out and have since worked a number of dead end jobs with no prospects, all physical work ...
A. 13 November 2012: Its NEVER TOO LATE!!...Here is my doctor's story... She married young to an a** hole and had 3 kids. He left her when she was 30 for a younger woman...She was left with 3 kids and no career. So she went to college and she is now a doctor! A great ... (read in full...)
He keeps in contact with the ex and didn't tell me about it...
Q. My boyfriend hung out with an ex girlfriend a few different times while he was visiting home and didn't tell me about it. I found out a few weeks later because I was snooping through his texts. I felt so guilty about snooping that I confronted him ...
A. 13 November 2012: I think that you should lay it out simply for him. Her or you. If you ask me...the fact that he hid his contact with her from you shows that HE knows he is doing something wrong! And also the fact that he is meeting with her in a few weeks and won't ... (read in full...)
B/f doesn't know that I can get into his facebook and see him flirting with his ex
Q. hello i really need some help please. so im dating my boyfriend for ten months now. we're both eighteen. well one of his ex's added him on facebook a few months ago. well now he goes on everyday and talks to her. he lies to me saying he's talking to ...
A. 10 April 2012: If you go looking for something...chances are that you will find it. Well you should not have been snooping BUT seeing as its too late to tell you not to do that... I think that... you could break it off with him and tell him you just don't trust ... (read in full...)
His ex is constanting looming over our relationship
Q. About a year ago I met a very nice and sweet guy who I have come to love very deeply. At the time he was in a relationship but he broke it off with her and we began to talk (it was a 1 year relationship)I fell in love with him but felt he still had ...
A. 10 April 2012: Hunny... I really don't want to sound bad and I need you to take what I am about to say with an open mind. I believe that it is YOU looming over their relationship and not the ex. They were together.... you got in there... he got confused...sat on ... (read in full...)
Why are you on DearCupid?
Q. Someone asked me via PM "well you are here to help people" And someone else and I got to talking in message about that and I wonder... WHY do YOU post to DC? Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help...
A. 17 February 2012: I found DC when I was broken! My bf had broken up with me.. and some lovely people on DC helped to put me together. I have never forgotten their kindness. And so now...when I am at my busy hectic job...I try to find time in the day to help someone ... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 17 February 2012: These women have done alot of hurtful things to you BUT you are an adult now and you have to make decisions for yourself. You cannot let their narrow experiences cloud your judgement of yourself or put doubts in your mind. You are the only thinker ... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 17 February 2012: These women have done alot of hurtful things to you BUT you are an adult now and you have to make decisions for yourself. You cannot let their narrow experiences cloud your judgement of yourself or put doubts in your mind. You are the only thinker ... (read in full...)
Losing your first love or soulmate? Advice needed!
Q. Hey guys! I am 22 and have just lost my first love, someone I thought was soulmate. I always mingled with girls but only settled for this one because I thought she was special. Can anyone help? Long story short, I broke up with ny ex 2 months ago....
A. 17 February 2012: Losing someone hurts!! ALOT! And it takes sometime to get over. Day 7 is still fresh so you need to be patient with yourself. With time it will all pass! It seems she has her hands full with her studies and whatever else she is up to so best to ... (read in full...)
How can she love us both equally?
Q. If a women says she can't choose between 2 Men because she says she's in love with both so when I got out of my relationship and told her 2 Make a choice the other guy is her fiancé so she got so upset that she couldn't go 2 work for over a week she ...
A. 17 February 2012: I am sorry hunny but how can you break off your relationship to be with a woman who is engaged and in love with you and another? Tricky this one... well if you ask me why she broke it off with both of you...because she feels BAD (or at least she ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has had several threesomes and hook ups in her past: liberal open-minded girl or just a slut?
Q. Well, I know this topic comes up a lot but here I go anyways: I'm dating this girl for the last 5 months. She has been always open about her attitude about sex, and admitted to me that she has had a lot of threesomes, hook ups and ongoing on and o...
A. 17 February 2012: In my books...3-somes and picking people up off Craigs List etc is just not the sort of thing I would want to hear from my other half. If you are uneasy about this then maybe you need to let her be with the same types of people that enjoy 3-somes ... (read in full...)
I wanted to marry my girlfriend and now I don't. Now what?
Q. This year will mark the 10 year anniversary of me meeting my girlfriend. Early in the relationship we talked of marriage, but neither of us really believed in it and we were trying to establish our careers - moving around and generally unstab...
A. 17 February 2012: Hi... Well first of all marriage is not 100% necessary! You can both live together happily and not have to tie the knot. BUT given the relationship downgrade, betrayal and the desire to NOT commit - all signs we need to pay attention to! Deciding ... (read in full...)
The designated unattractive fat friend?
Q. I have a attractive female friend. She surrounds her self with less attractive female friends. My friend says that attractive girls with "fat ugly friends" have no personality!!!!! it is true, that she has little to no personality!! Is this a fluke ...
A. 14 February 2012: Maybe she picks her friends because of WHO they are not WHAT they look like?? Superficial people pick friends because of looks or money or something they feel they need to feed themselves with. You need not to judge this girl...xx... (read in full...)
He said me breaking up with him was the best Valentines gift ever! I know he doesn't want me, but I still feel like I made a mistake by breaking up with him....
Q. Dear cupid i am in love with a guy for 2 years. He knows that and we are in fwb. He is not seeing anyone and im not either. But he never introduced me as his gf. I am his friend, thats all he wanted from me, but i want more. I told him today i...
A. 14 February 2012: I completely agree with k_C 100. If you were FWB and this was the accepted case...then comes the saying...why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free...
You did the right thing by breaking it off because its not FWB you are looking ... (read in full...)
Surprise 50th birthday party and his wife didn't invite his Mother, how to deal with her!
Q. Hi Guys I have a situation which isn't about a relationship, it's more a family situation and I was just hoping you guys might be able to help me. My brother just turned 50 years old, and his wife put on a surprise birthday party for him, and she...
A. 6 February 2012: I think your mom should ask the wife directly! You can ask her why YOU were not invited but it makes sense for them 2 to talk. That way ...its less like you picking a fight or jumping to the defence of your mom. It seems you have already made up ... (read in full...)
I try to do what he says but it's getting on my nerves!
Q. i've been dating a guy for 3 months now,.... he is very smart, very nice, kind hearted ... loves his family, and friends... he gives me a lot of attention... supposedly loves me... and i feel the same, but since we started dating everything that i ...
A. 6 February 2012: Explain to this guy that its boyfriend you want not another father. He seems to be wanting to teach you life lessons... how to talk , dress, act etc. Its not what you need in your life right now and if he can't understand that then you really need ... (read in full...)
How can my Bf be so nice to his friends and so mean to me? Why?
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. The past 6 months or so have been great, but before that we had a few issues with cheating and flirting behind each other's backs. We're much better now but the wounds haven't completely healed and I ha...
A. 1 February 2012: Huge red flag hunny! I think this boy is ready to move on. You should tell him how you feel and if he can't make the effort to be more polite and nicer to you .. you should let him know that you are not having it and break it off!
If you don't,..... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's controlling behaviour is bothering me!
Q. Hi I’m 26 years old, in December I sent a message to my friend saying I miss my ex, I did anything towards that feeling and I just said to coz I’m getting married and I was having cold feet. My bf saw this message and ever since this incident he...
A. 27 January 2012: This is not normal by any means and your frustration is understandable! He seems insecure and in need of alot of reassurance. But hun if the message never sinks in that You love him and only him and that you can be trusted... then I think pursuing ... (read in full...)
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