A
male
age
30-35,
*andomando
writes:I have a attractive female friend. She surrounds her self with less attractive female friends. My friend says that attractive girls with "fat ugly friends" have no personality!!!!! it is true, that she has little to no personality!! Is this a fluke or is there some science behind it?! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 February 2012):
 Everyone has different filters as to how they happen to choose their friends. Some pick people based on shared interests. Some hang out with people because they like the way the people make them feel. Some spend time with people who happen to live nearby or were childhood friends.. Some hang out with people because they like their physical appearance. Sounds like you fall into the last category.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And let me tell you, by long experience, someone who is 'ugly and fat' in high school can wind up being a knockout in college. Someone who was gorgeous in high school can wind up ugly and fat in college, then go back to being 'hot' by societal standards in his 30s or 40s.
I can also tell you this: what boys look like in high school has very little to do with what they wind up looking like when they are older. Holy smokes, I have never seen so many fat bald ugly men as at my college reunion. Some of the men aged very well, some did not. The women, some looked great, some looked like they weren't taking good care of themselves. It's a great big cycle, we all change over time, physically.
What doesn't change much is personality. If someone is judgmental and snarky as a teenager, they tend not to 'grow out' of it when they are older. If someone is kind and courteous as a teen, they generally go through life with this approach.
If you surround yourself with people who make idiotic statements like the one you quoted, well, maybe you'll find yourself making equally idiotic comments.... just sayin'.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 February 2012):
 You don't sounds like a very good friend either, honey. Take a look at your own post.
And no, looks and personality has nothing to do with it.
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A
female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (14 February 2012):
 Maybe she picks her friends because of WHO they are not WHAT they look like?? Superficial people pick friends because of looks or money or something they feel they need to feed themselves with. You need not to judge this girl...xx
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (14 February 2012):
 Of course there is no science behind it, do you honestly think scientists spend their time getting pretty girls with ugly friend's wired up to electrodes to figure out why they are friends? They have better things to do in the name of science, like finding a cure for cancer perhaps!
Quite simply - if these girls are friends, regardless of whether you think they are ugly are not, then they are friends because they like each other and enjoy each other's company. I'm sure all of your friends are not Brad Pitt look-a-likes are they? So why are you friends with them? I'm sure it is because you get on with them, have a laugh and that's the end of it - you are not only hanging out with them to make yourself look like a Greek god are you?!
If you are friends with this girl (the attractive one) then it is up to you to decide if she has a personality or not. Actually if you want to bring science into the matter, then it is scientifically impossible to have 'no personality' - everyone has a personality. You would only be able to call her shallow and self-absorbed if she really hangs around with ugly girls to make herself look better.
What do you think of her personality? You are friends with her - so what is she like to hang around with? You need to stop listening to your friends and form your own opinions - if you like this girl and you enjoy her company then great, dont worry about what other people think.
And remember this - beauty is subjective, so you might think a girl is ugly but another guy might think she is hot, and vice versa. Just as some girls might think that your friend is ugly and you are the one surrounding yourself with ugly friends! It really is each to their own, we all have different tastes so stop being so narrow minded and rude about women, just because they are not hot in your eyes doesnt mean they are ugly.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2012): It *may* suggest (to outsiders) she is slightly shallow and *maybe* slightly insecure but it's definitely not a sure thing.
It could be that those are just the people she gets on with and it has nothing to do with looks - a complete coincidence.
Or if she is very attractive and most girls are less attractive than her then again it could just be down to probability and who she has met and got on with. It would actually be equally as shallow to only hang around with attractive girls and consider everyone else to be beneath her.
Really I wouldn't listen to your friend, you know her, her personality and how she treats other people. So decide for yourself. Surely if she's your friend you would know if she has no personality?
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A
female
reader, laura021 +, writes (14 February 2012):
Why don't you get to know her and find out? Maybe she has a very good personality, one that loves her friends regardless of what they look like. Ever think of it from that perspective? I know what you mean though - maybe she's surrounding herself with less attractive people so she'll feel superior. But it may not be the case, these girls could genuinely be good friends - regardless of looks.
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