Did he ever love me to begin with?
Q. It's been almost 8 months since I moved out from living with my ex. A couple months ago I started feeling better and really started enjoying being single. I started finding what I enjoyed doing and living for myself. But lately I can't stop ...
A. 7 December 2011: Hunny this is normal! A break-up is not easy to go through, especially one with so much deceit. I believe that we go through stages. You were probably feeling better in the beginning coz you were angry. But now that that is wearing off you are ... (read in full...)
Can't let go of the past! Help!
Q. I have a problem, its a seems a small problem in comparison to a lot of problems in this world, but if anyone can help me I would be very grateful! My issue is I cant seem to let go! of issues that have caused me grief and pain and anger. For exam...
A. 7 December 2011: Sometimes when people hurt us deeply, its difficult to understand and to forgive. Perhaps the problem here is forgiveness. You have to find a way to forgive her - this doesn't mean that you are ok with what she did. I read a quote somewhere that “To ... (read in full...)
For some reason, my friendships with women never work out. What is wrong with me? What can I do?
Q. My friendships never work out. Particularly with women. One minute I think I have a good friend, I invest time into being with her, but she turns out to be a horrible person and somehow hurts me. For some reason, I attract bad seeds. My last friend ...
A. 5 December 2011: Hi. Someone famously said, "You don't find friends, you recognize them". Patience is required when dealing with people... don't get attached too quickly to people. Take your time to get to know them. Be relaxed, be yourself, think positively (not ... (read in full...)
Should I sit here and wait for his call? Or should I just break up with him?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for three years and most of our relationship has been long distance due to the fact that he is in the army. I love him with all my heart and he is my first boyfriend. We had only been dating for six months when he went ...
A. 30 November 2011: Him not keeping comms with you is a sign in itself that something is gone wrong! Sometimes you have to take the hints that people give (even though its not easy). I would say there is no point waiting around for someone who can't find time for you. ... (read in full...)
I love two men and I am so confused!!
Q. I was in a relationship with my partner for 7 yrs. It was a very rocky relationship. I loved him dearly from the start but he was extremely volatile and unpredictable and had lots of bitterness left from his past relationship. On the whole he ...
A. 16 November 2011: Wow! I think the first thing is that you should not have gone back to your ex. He treated you badly and after he lost you ...he decided to get his act together. I am not a believer in the fact that people change. Your new ex... he was so good to ... (read in full...)
I'm told the girl I like likes me too, but she hasn't given me any signs
Q. I really like someone and one of my friend told me that she likes me too but I dont seem to be getting any signs off her. we're really good friends and told a couple of weeks back but she didnt make much of it but thats not something that I would ...
A. 15 November 2011: Just talk to her... You are going to have to man-up to this one. Don't wait for signs... she could be waiting for the same. Just tell her how you feel and ask her if she feels the same. Then according to answer ... you proceed! ... (read in full...)
How do I help my cousin? She cant move on from her ex and he keeps postponing their dates!
Q. well my cousin was in a relationship with a guy for almost a year, and then she broke up with him because he doesn't give her enough attention. after some time she realized she can not move on. and then she went back to her ex and tried to apologize ...
A. 15 November 2011: I think that only your cousin can fix this. You can advise her but the final decision is hers and she needs to realize for herself that he is wasting her time. Its hard to watch people we love be hurt but just be there for her. ... (read in full...)
Why does this man act this way and chose to ignore this woman?
Q. There is this man in who sometimes leads my group. Recently, after stating at the beginning of the meeting that he expects all must participate and give a lot of comments by raising their hands, chose to not allow a certain female whom he often ...
A. 15 November 2011: This question keeps popping up! Maybe the girl is over-eager? Believes that she knows more than everyone else? Is annoying? Is too persistent? I think NOONE knows. Perhaps ask him? xx... (read in full...)
Would you let your man/ or girl live with their baby mama/ baby daddy?
Q. Okay so me and my boyfriend have been together 2 months, and he cheated on his girlfriend with me and he has a kid with her and another one on the way... then he told her that he did and he didn't see the relationship with them going anywhere. ...
A. 15 November 2011: Hunny, this is not a situation of trust at all! It is far from it.
This is a situation of a man building a family and wanting to be there for that family. He wants to support his kids and be their dad. Do you really think that he is still yo... (read in full...)
What to do when your crush tells you he just wants to be friends?
Q. I have a friend and we like ot hang out with each other. We started flirting and having sexy chats with pictures and all over the internet. He was dumped by his long time GF 9 months ago and something tells me he still have feelings for her. I di...
A. 15 November 2011: Well nothing dear. He is after someone else and he has been honest that he does not want to use you for sex (which I think is honorable). But listen to what he is saying and respect it. x... (read in full...)
Love can just blow up in your face!
Q. Oh how love can just blow up in your face... I've been in a relationship for over 7 months, and it's been on the decline for 1 and a half... after a moment of anger I said I didn't think it was a good idea to still be in a relationship, se...
A. 15 November 2011: I can understand that from a woman's perspective... when a man calls for a break it raises RED FLAGS that he is seeing someone else or that she is not good enough. So this can explain the negativity she is surrounding herself with.
Howev... (read in full...)
Is he stringing me along? He's very commitment-phobic and we rarely see each other!
Q. hi I've been seeing my commitment phobic bf for almost 16 months, we get on really well, there's great chemistry and we both feel very comfortable with each other. The problem is that although we're both in our 40's, we rarely get the chance to go...
A. 15 November 2011: Hunny... do not sit and wait to see what will happen with this one. 16 months is MORE THAT ENOUGH time to make up his mind of what he wants. Its also at least 6 months too late to be still hiding from his parents. Also the drop in sex since March is ... (read in full...)
I'm sick and tired of him ignoring me! Help!
Q. My bf of 2 years was ignoring me lately and most of the times he wont call for a week. I told him repeatedly this is not acceptable, even he is busy he should have atleast left me a message. Anyway i lost my control and didnt call for nearly 2...
A. 15 November 2011: He sounds like he is messing around and not serious at all. If he was serious, he would be spending time on the relationship... you would not need to resort to games to get him to be more involved. I would just let this one go and find someone more ... (read in full...)
She kept it from me that she is HIV positive!
Q. Am a guy who in April meet a girl, i fell in love with her so much that even though she sometimes acted childsh i would readly forgive. unfortunately she kept something important a secreat her HIV status, of which she is HIV positive. our ...
A. 13 November 2011: Oh dear! It's actually a criminal offence to withhold HIV status from your partner. I think that you should get yourself tested again and then wait 3 months to re-test (there is a window period where you can test negAtive but you would be positive). ... (read in full...)
Missing my Ex. Is feeling Mutual?
Q. I miss my ex so much, though, I feel he doesn't of me. We have been separated for three years(haven't seen each other since) and only spoken on blue moons(very rarely). He has mentioned to me that he has a lot of pictures of me and that he thinks of ...
A. 10 November 2011: Never ASSUME ANYTHING! Especially when it comes to guessing someone's feeling for you. If he missed you he would outright say it.
Its also not automatic that because you miss someone that they miss you back... ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend admitted to one-night stand!
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 2 years confessed yesterday that few weeks back he had an one night stand, he was heavely drunk and didn't realise what he was getting into. I really dont understand how he could he say since he was drunk he didnt know what ...
A. 10 November 2011: Not excusing what he has done BUT... He admitted to this. This means that he realised what he's done and he faced you (that could not have bn easy) and he told you what happened (he didn't have to) and he asked for forgiveness.
I really think af... (read in full...)
They tolerate each other. And I should be able to choose between the two. But who can I choose and live with my decision?
Q. Dear Cupid, I was in a relationship off and on for years with my ex. we could not seem to communicate effectively and I fell out of love with him long before I asked him to leave. only due to conveniences I lived with him. He kept a job and prov...
A. 9 November 2011: Nobody can choose a partner for you. Really instead of all you wrote... you could of just asked the question.. Love vs Security...And seeing as you will not be able to afford to live with Mr. LOVE without the help of Mr. SECURITY...it seems Mr. ... (read in full...)
How can I trust him knowing he was sneaking around on some dating site?
Q. My bf and I have been together for 2 yrs. Well just the other day I found out he signed up for a dating site. I know that it was somewhat recent because in his description it said has a kid and we have a 4 month old daughter together. Well I co...
A. 9 November 2011: I'm not defending him BUT... I got a junk mail once and opened it ... it said one thing then it had a facebook link... and when I clicked that (without thinking)...it made me a member of a dating site!!!! Until today I am still a member of it... I ... (read in full...)
I cheat on my boyfriend but I love him and! don't want to break up
Q. I cheat on my boyfriend and am more uninterested then I used to be, but I love him and don't want to break up. What is wrong with me? I'm not a victim and I'm not looking for sympathy. What I have done is wrong and I have issues that I need to fix, ...
A. 8 November 2011: It seems that you are keeping this guy on standby whilst you are out enjoying yourself. It's a little selfish I think. If he was to do this to you... how would you feel? ... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend versus the guy I really like? They are friends. The other guy wants me to stay with my Bf. Which one do I choose?
Q. am 19 i have been with my current boy friend for almost a year. he really loves me, and i like him too but i dont love him. i care about him. but am insecure around him, i dont like being in his company. There is another guy (guy two), he is my bes...
A. 8 November 2011: R U SERIOUS??? What happened to respect for friendship? These guys are friends. If you really like guy number 2 then break CLEAN with Guy #1 and GIVE IT SOME TIME to clear off then make move on GUY #2. You cannot jump straight from one guy to the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex won't leave us alone!
Q. MY b oyfrined was with his now ex for 4 years, he cheated on me with her in our first 4 months of dateing, i found out and i had a constant battle with her fro 6 months! shed keep finding ways to contact me after i blocked every number. it got to ...
A. 8 November 2011: What I don't understand is why are YOU policing this woman??? The relationship was between HIM & HER and if he can't respect you enough to drop her and cut communication with his ex (knowing what this means to you), then HE is just not worth it. If ... (read in full...)
I treated my b/f like a king, he cheated and I need to move on but I'm a mess!
Q. my boyfriend of three years cheated on me. i know i did nothing wrong i treated him like a king and it still backfired.i know he has a lot of issues but none of that was an excuse for what he did. i am devastated! a complete mess. i want nothing to ...
A. 8 November 2011: I think you have done the right thing by cutting out communication with him. This will give you time to deal with your emotions by yourself without the added pressure.
There are no quick solutions to heart-break and betrayal. You have to be patie... (read in full...)
What will make things better? I am struggling with my pregnancy and non-existent social life!
Q. Hi all. A few weeks ago I found out I am pregnant. My partner and I are delighted as we have been trying for about a year, the baby was conceived with fertility treatment and we have just bought a house together. The thing is that I am struggli...
A. 7 November 2011: Hunny! First of all Congratulations are in order. There are always sacrifices to be made. Giving up being a party-girl (36-40 age group) and binge drinking for a baby is really just NO COMPARISON!!! You need to be patient with yourself and when the ... (read in full...)
Does my friend have an abusice dad? Would I be abandoning her if I went to take my A levels at a new school or is that the best option?
Q. I love my best friend, she's like my sister when we hang out but her parents are so controlling, I feel like she trapped. when we were little my friend discovered she had cancer, we were only about 5 at the time but i remember it very clearly,...
A. 31 October 2011: You are the type of friend that every girl needs. You are caring, kind and thoughtful!! She is lucky to have you. HOWEVER... I believe that everyone on this planet has their own path to walk. You can never protect her from her controlling parents.... (read in full...)
My bf is convinced I'm in love with my friend (which I'm not!) and now he wants to speak to my friend's pregnant and emotional wife to see how she feels about our friendship!!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend (I will name "Ned") for about 17 years. "Ned" broke up with me about two and a half years ago saying I wasn't "the one" and he wanted to find her and didn't want to waste more time with me. I had wanted to get ...
A. 31 October 2011: Ned decides AFTER SEVENTEEN YEARS... that you are NOT the one for him. Breaks up with you and then you are HAPPY that he takes you back? Which he did only after you met someone else. Hunny let this one go. Its better to do this after 17 years than ... (read in full...)
I took him to the clinic because I thought something was wrong with him sexually and now he wont talk to me!
Q. Hi Agony Aunts and Uncles. Okay i've been here before, asking a few questions, and i got wonderful and useful feedback. So now i'm back...same guy...different situation. Okay, so today, i wanted to take him, well the both of us to the clinic ...
A. 27 October 2011: I am sorry to be a little harsh but the problem here is not the guy....ITS YOU. The reason I say this is that you know that he cheats, disrespects you, lies to you and its you running to HIS house to ask him to forgive you for taking him to a ... (read in full...)
How to tell husband you are leaving him???
Q. Because of some horrible problems, that can't be worked out, I am leaving my husband. But how do I say it?? We (he) are/is purchasing a home, but the agent has been pretty rude to me, so I want out of the deal and the marriage. Should I just go ...
A. 14 October 2011: There is no easy way to do this. You should not run away though!!! You need to tell him that its over and that you want to move on with your life and maybe stop him from making this commitment to buying the house... Sit the guy down and tell him.... (read in full...)
He has me confused! Is he only messing with me?
Q. I have been on 3 dates with this reserved man ,but have known him for 1 year .The dates went very well ,but lately he asked me if i wanted to go away for the week ,i said yes and then he changed his mind and said we should go back to being friends ...
A. 12 September 2011: Only HE can answer your question. It seems to me that this guy is not over something. He seems scared to commit. You have told him how you feel so now back up and let him make up his mind but also its wise not to wait too long for the decision to ... (read in full...)
I don't like who I've become - Help me out of this black hole!
Q. Im 19 years old, i have been with my partner for almost 3 years, we have a son together who is 9 months old. Ever since my son was born im a different person, im a brilliant mum but an awful girlfriend. i been suffering with depression and am in a ...
A. 12 September 2011: Hunny... I think you need to be more pro-active and not just rely on pills from the doctor. You are very young... and the responsibility of having a family sometimes can weigh us down. I think you need to take time out for yourself... join a gym... ... (read in full...)
I told my friend's g/f that he was hitting on me and now he won't speak to me
Q. Alright so around 2 months or so back me and my best guy friend were feeling each other up and it almost lead to sex but I stopped it. But there has been previous occasions where he's tried to force me to have sex with him and I've said no several ...
A. 12 September 2011: Hunny... this guy is YOUR BEST FRIEND... and after all thats happened you still want him to be your bf and you miss him and stuff... If this is the case, why are you warning the other girl that he is a bad person and to stay away from him???? It ... (read in full...)
My g/f doesn't have good legs and I'm not sexually attracted to her!
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for 5 years. Unfortunately, try as I might, I haven't found her sexually attractive for some time. We have marriage plans, and I'm sure she would be a good life partner, mother, etc., but I don't know if this can work ...
A. 12 September 2011: You are only noticing her legs after 5 years!! A bit unfair to say the least....
I think that you are simply looking for reasons why she is not the most suitable partner for you. You mentioned she will not be a good mother... is this because ... (read in full...)
What can I do to keep myself busy until I go to Uni next year? All my friends have moved away and I'm depressed about not going to Uni this year....
Q. Hi all, im feeling really depressed and i know its only going to get worse. I want to be a midwife and my school adviser told me to apply for the midwifery course straight away. I did this, and got rejected. This being because they prefer you ...
A. 8 September 2011: I think you should view this as an opportunity!!! I took 3 gap years after my A-Levels - travelled and had the time of my life. I worked odd jobs and saved little money and moved on. Google backpacking in Europe, jobs in Paris, Italy, Germany, etc - ... (read in full...)
What the hell went so horribly wrong with us? Was I just a second fiddle to the drama between my BF and his ex?
Q. Hi Everybody, Im Dennise, im new here, my first post, it took me about two hours to write this because i keep stopping to get a hold of myself, so if something doesnt make sense, work with me here. Ok so here is the deal: I met Eric a year and...
A. 6 September 2011: Oh my... This guy is sooo not over his ex. You have to stay CLEAR of him and avoid him like the plague. He will do nothing but hurt you. Do not contact him anymore and don't let him come sell stories to you. What he did to you is wrong and ... (read in full...)
Life After "Cheating"
Q. First I'll explain the sitch...So I've been seeing this amazing guy that I'm crazy about and that scares me.. I hate when I guy gets a hold of your heart and breaks it.. and he's getting there.. so the other night ...
A. 6 September 2011: I think you are testing Mr. Amazing to see how much he really cares for you. You were seeing each other, then you assumed that he would break your heart .. so you decided to sleep with someone else and tell the guy in the morning. NOT FAIR!
I thi... (read in full...)
I feel so jealous and insecure when he looks at other girls
Q. Hey So my boyfriend lives a long way away and he travels up to see me every weekend nearly, and im so in love with him. there was one night at the pub when this girl he knew came in with his step sister, and he'd had alot to drink but he jus...
A. 29 August 2011: Hunny I think that this is an insecurity within yourself. You feel that the girls he is looking at are better than you in some way. If he did not love you, he would not be with you. Talk to him and tell him that staring is hurtful and for him to be ... (read in full...)
Am I just his text buddy who he occasionaly sees when it suits him?
Q. Hi everyone this guy who I very occasionally have sex with ignores my texts and only texts me when he feels like it he says he forgets but I know that's not true anyway I got fed up with it when I found out he had gone on holiday and hadn't even...
A. 26 August 2011: Your answer is in your question dear..."ignores my texts and only texts me when he feels like it", "gone on holiday and hadn't even bothered to tell me","you keep ignoring me"... what does this tell you? The fact that you keep tecting him EVEN when ... (read in full...)
Is it even worth taking holidays with my BF when he will not allow me enough relaxation time?
Q. Every holiday I take with my boyfriend barely feels like a holiday for me. He always insists we get up very early and go do activities despite the fact that whilst on holiday I may like the occasional lie in or a relaxing day. I usually go alon...
A. 26 August 2011: I am afraid the only way to resolve this issue is to STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!! Your relationship will always be one-way because you don't want to confront him..."keep the peace"... actually peace has a price! My suggestion is to split the week into 2 ... (read in full...)
Have I made a huge mistake - allowed my BF to have sex with my BF???
Q. my boyfriend of 4yrs on and off again just cheated on me with my best friend last week. we have 2 kids and i think i want to try and work past this, but here is the issue, my friend has wanted a child for a long time now, so 3 weeks a go we mad a ...
A. 26 August 2011: You ALLOWED you bf to have sex with you best friend to make a baby! I am sorry really but if he has a child with her then that would make her part of his life forever!! Given this situation... why would you be upset if they had sex again? In my ... (read in full...)
I feel so heartbroken he has left me for a stripper, I cant compete with her!
Q. Hi there, my problem relates to a man. What's new hey. I'll keep it really short (try to) I'm 33, his 28 we meet 6 months ago, In a bar one night. His gorgeous and knows it, obsessed with gym and looking good. I'm a good looking women but his bett...
A. 22 August 2011: 6 months, no belief in 1 partner, agreement in place of open relationship till he falls in love with someone else... I am sorry but I am struggling to find the problem? He was honest with you from the beginning bout what he wanted. Entering into ... (read in full...)
Should I go to the in-laws anniversary lunch just to keep the peace? Or should I not go because of the way they treated me?
Q. My husband has cheated on me with at least 2 other women during a 5 year period. I found out about his secret double life about 2 years ago. I recently told his parents the details of what he had been doing one day when I got extremely upset and ...
A. 22 August 2011: The fact that you stayed with your husband after what he did means that you have in some way accepted the fact that he led the double life. And if you "accept" it then you need to continue playing the game... it will be better to go to the ... (read in full...)
I'm told my ex I'm pregnant and now he doesn't want to talk to me anymore
Q. My ex boyfriend and i we're very good friends but now i'm pregnant and it seems he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. It's been like 3 years that i ended my relationship with him and we decide to be friends but he'd say stay in love me (or that's ...
A. 19 August 2011: If your ex still has feelings for you then its not easy for him to accept that you are having a baby with someone else. You have to allow him space to deal with what he is going through. I would just send him a message and tell him that he has been ... (read in full...)
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