A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:If a women says she can't choose between 2 Men because she says she's in love with both so when I got out of my relationship and told her 2 Make a choice the other guy is her fiancé so she got so upset that she couldn't go 2 work for over a week she finally decided 2 end it with the both of us Being we were closer she let me know but other guy doesn't have an idea My question is how can she love us equally when she's with him and does it mean she gets time 2 herself and gets over him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 February 2012):
 I left my marriage for a single man. We get engaged tonight. It happens. I wanted to keep both but my husband could not cope.
It's not a good situation and I feel like a total failure...
What concerns me is HIS FAMILY tried to make her stay with him? What's up with that? What about HIM? What does he want?
Sadly what YOU want is the lowest problem in this mess.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis is the situation now I didn't believe she was really going TO do it but she actually told her fiancé everything except who I am I mean who does that? He wanted 2 continue the relationship seeing that she was honest. Clear the slate and start over but she refused. But anyway, the next day her grandma called and asked to come over FOR a Minute. So she does AND when she walks in TO grandMa's house he's there with his parents like some type of intervention. So she had TO explain the situation all over again AND answer his parents questions. the conclusion was she told them she would think about the getting back with their son. But as far as she can't do it cause she did hiM so wrong so she's avoiding him because she vulnerable.But still in contact with Me met wit her a few times as friends she told me straight up she gonna need some TO get over her pain cause she still in love with the both of us which is understandable.The pain But My question is if gets over her fiance while were still being friends could it work out FOR us if I'm still single or is she running game when she was more honest with me than her fiance
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 February 2012):
It's very possible to love more than one man.
You love more than one child... you love more than one parent... why can't you love more than one partner?
I was in that situation last year and had my then husband been able to cope I would have taken my now fiance as my secondary husband and we were shopping for a primary for him.... but my primary (now ex) husband did not want to share me with other men while he wanted me to share him with other women.
Serial Monogamy is practiced because folks can't cope with the concept of more than one.... even with the movies the statement "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE" is shouted...
it's a social contrivance at best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I let her know that I wasn't interested in the situation anymore so she felt that she had 2 make choice 2 leave the both of us even I already decided 2 leave her alone and do Me meaning focus on my life now she won't see her fiancee in person no matter how many times he askes her but we met one last 2 finalize it and that's when she said she was going 2 let him know the about everything 2 clear up the dishonest 4 her own regardless how much it hurts him with the exception of who I am so I think situation is definitely going 2 be over people say she does want 2 make it look like she's leavin her fiancee and eventually get involved wit me after she recovers from this but we work on the same job I'm avoid her eventhough she'll try 2 b friends but my question is if the opportunity presents itself and most likely it will down the line weeks months should I b carefully open being its the first time were single?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): She doesn't love either of you as much as she is weak and needs the emotional attachment she has formed with both of you which is why she can't decide.
If she truly loved one of you there would be no room in her heart for the other. Therefore she loves neither you nor him.
at least finally she has done the right thing of ending it with both of you. She was cheating on her fiance, which is a horrible thing to do, he doesn't deserve that. So it's good that she finally set him free. But she was also stringing you along which isn't fair to you so it's good that she finally "manned up" and left you alone too.
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A
female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (17 February 2012):
 I am sorry hunny but how can you break off your relationship to be with a woman who is engaged and in love with you and another? Tricky this one... well if you ask me why she broke it off with both of you...because she feels BAD (or at least she should). No one knows what she is doing now...she could be writing pros and cons lists of both of you but do you really want to stick around for her to decide? Tell her to make up her mind and STICK to the decision and no more 2 boyfriends for her in the future! Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (17 February 2012):
 The human heart isn't a limited thing.
Think of it this way. When a woman has one child, she loves that child with all her heart. But say she has another child, and perhaps even another. Now she has THREE children. Does she suddenly have no room in her heart for her other children, or is she capable of loving ALL of her children with ALL of her heart?
There is no limit to love.
She loves you both. That means what she says. If you cannot deal with her dating both of you, leave. You're within your rights to seek a monogamous partner, and she's within her rights to not be monogamous if it makes her happy. She's not a bad person, she's just not monogamous. It would not make you a bad person for seeking a relationship that complies with all your desires.
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