When/how is it appropriate to express interest in getting to know someone?
Q. Dear Cupid Aunts, The other day I checked out something at my university library which had not been checked out since 1978, and thus lacked a bar code. Since I could not use the self-checkout kiosk, I had to actually go and get a real person t...
A. 24 October 2013: well keep your head up, my friend. it is only human nature and desire to want to find a partner to experience life with. you really do seem like a great guy and a great catch. one day you will most certainly find a woman who is as much of a catch as ... (read in full...)
Is this really an issue for counselling?
Q. Hello everyone. My boyfriend of 2 years has been wanting to go to counseling for awhile, but I don't think its necessary. He is just mad because I haven't looked for a job in the last month. I take 4 classes 2 days a week at a community college so I ...
A. 16 October 2013: The real question is who is supporting you? If you live with him and you're not working and he is therefore having to pay for everything on his own, yes, he has every right to be mad and. But if you don't live together and have parents who are ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't like to have the light on during sex. Is he fantasizing about someone else?
Q. My boyfriend doesn't like to have the light on during sex. He prefers to turn it off and leave another room on so you can see a little but it's still dark. Does that mean that he's fantasizing about someone else during sex? I'm not self conscious ...
A. 16 October 2013: I prefer it dark. It sets the mood! ... (read in full...)
How can I ignore an ex boyfriend that I work with?
Q. How can i ignore an ex boyfriend!!! We only dated for a few months, but i cant get him out of my head. I found out he was cheating on me and he was texting alot of other girls too, so i dumped him. But he keeps contacting me all the time for 'one...
A. 16 October 2013: Can you switch jobs? Or departments? You need to get away from this guy. he's not good. He's a chronic cheater, liar, and manipulator. Cut him out of your life and be done. Oh, and tell his gf what's going on. I'm sure she would love to know.
... (read in full...)
Should I date a guy who is 9 years younger than me? I'm 28 and he's 19
Q. Im 28 years old and newly single, i'd rather stay single for a while to be honest but someones interested in me. The problem.is hes only 19 that is way too young for me but my friend doean't think so. I dont feel comfortable about that age gap but ...
A. 16 October 2013: I typically say who cares to most age gap relationships but at your age (I am there, myself), I know just what a massive difference there is between who I am now versus who I was at 19. It's incomparable. The maturity levels are extremely different. ... (read in full...)
Will we get stared at or ridiculed? We are a biracial couple
Q. Hello. My name is Jeff, and I have a question that may come off as odd. I've met this beautiful white woman, and she told me she would like to go out on a date with me. As I am black, I have always wondered how it would be like to date a white wom...
A. 15 October 2013: As a gay woman, I know what it's like to be stared at by the general public. You just have to grow a thick skin and not let other people's ignorance affect your happiness. ... (read in full...)
Why do men like to check out porn and naked celebrities?
Q. Hi everyone, Recently for some reason I have become a little insecure :( I am an attractive young woman...slim so little reason to you could say but like alot of women seem to be uncomfortable with my fiance looking at stuff on the internet. It...
A. 14 October 2013: Why let this bother you if it is in no way affecting your relationship? I'm a woman and I look at porn. My gf looks at porn too. Oh well. Its nothing.
he only does it occasionally. Why create a problem in a good healthy relationship? ... (read in full...)
If a girl is just not interested why make excuses for putting things off
Q. There is a girl I like. We went out once. Ever since then whenever I causally ask her out she keeps making excuses. Some I can believe like she says "Friday is her family day." And other excuses like that. The one she uses a lot though is that she ...
A. 14 October 2013: She's not interested. your friends are dead wrong. she is trying to gently let you down and hope you just get the hint without having to flat out spell it out for you.
Reading between the lines, she is saying "I don't want to see you. Please s... (read in full...)
My LDR is never there for me
Q. I am in a long distance relationship with a guy. We have been together for 1 year. He loves me, I know that. But whenever I need him, he is never there for me. If am disturbed at night, he prefers to sleep because he doesn't feel like spoiling his ...
A. 11 October 2013: What exactly do you mean by if you are disturbed at night?... (read in full...)
We broke up because of facebook! Who's right?
Q. So a few days ago my girlfriend randomly starts acting cold and won't tell me what's wrong initially. She then spills the beans and tells me that she saw me on Facebook liking photos and statuses of girls that she knows I used to talk to. We ...
A. 10 October 2013: You guys are both equally acting idiotic. That's my stance. Damn Facebook.
Stop being so stubborn. Relationships aren't about when is right or wrong. it's about compromise. If she doesn't like it, agree not to do it. Is it really that big of a... (read in full...)
Married, open relationship, and now divorce?
Q. I need you guys opinions, please. Here's my situation: My wife and I knew each other since for about 8 years. We got married on 2011 so it would be almost 2 years of marriage. We both agreed on having an open relationship as long as in the end we w...
A. 10 October 2013: She would come home from work later that you, yet somehow you had the mentality it was still her "womanly duty" to cook and be your maid? Why would you expect that??
She didn't make you feel manly because she somehow emasculated you by having y... (read in full...)
It's like we have nothing interesting to talk about even though I know we do
Q. I feel like me and my boyfriend aren't communicating as much and aren't as connected like we used to be. He's been off with me lately and I always think the worst of things which I hate but I really want things to work between us and I don't like ...
A. 9 October 2013: Sorry I posted too soon. Anyway. So I do know where you're coming from. how long have you two been together? Maybe you just need a little spicing up! Plan a date that's extra special that he will love or spice up the sex life. Anything that will ... (read in full...)
It's like we have nothing interesting to talk about even though I know we do
Q. I feel like me and my boyfriend aren't communicating as much and aren't as connected like we used to be. He's been off with me lately and I always think the worst of things which I hate but I really want things to work between us and I don't like ...
A. 9 October 2013: I guess everyone is different in relation to this because my love language (if you haven't read about the five different love languages, Google it - it's good to know about yourself) is quality time spent together. In other words, sitting and ... (read in full...)
How do I encourage her to initiate sex once in a while and to pay me the attention every now and again that I pay her every day?
Q. So I have been seeing a girl for a few months and it is starting to go really well. At first she had seemed distant and unwilling to be in a relationship. We had a big argument early on when she flipped out at me one morning for seemingly no reason. ...
A. 8 October 2013: You said that you moved her hand one time after sex and she gave you a hand job. That seemed to work for you. Now I'm not saying you should move her head down there lol. But maybe if you somehow, after sex, mention how much you'd like it if she did ... (read in full...)
We can't enjoy sex together because we both want to have the same role!
Q. Hi all, As I am now starting a new thing with this handsome blond guy with beautiful deep blue eyes, I am trying to be careful not to get hurt like before. He is really kind and he already showing he embraced the idea of being with me. As nothing ...
A. 8 October 2013: i can see exactly what you mean, on the opposite end, as i am a lesbian, and i understand sexual roles in gay relationships.
for women, you have somewhat of the same principle as gay men. there is almost always one who is in the more dominant... (read in full...)
My gf wants to mantain friendship with her ex and her former sex buddy
Q. I have what it's called Retrograde Jealousy (form of OCD) My gf (which I love a lot) has a strange past with a relationship (sex buddy) with a best friend (man) and after that a long relationship with a girl (which was the only one that she had - sh...
A. 7 October 2013: an ex of mine actually slept with a guy friend of hers after we temporarily broke up (about a week we were seperated). she slept with him the night after we parted. when we were speaking of reconciliation, she told me she needed to confess that she ... (read in full...)
I've become the maid and babysitter in my house because of the way my wife now acts. What can I do?
Q. i am 35 and my wife is 30 we have been married a year but together almost 6 years. we have sex maybe 1-2 times ever other month. before that about 1 year ago it was 1-3 times amonth, we have a son together and her 8 yr old daughter whom believes im ...
A. 7 October 2013: I think the way you're feeling is the way a lot of women feel at times; being stuck at home, constantly picking up after kid and feeling like a housekeeper and baby sitter. I know it would drive me crazy to feel that way. And then watching my ... (read in full...)
My g/f played strip poker till everyone was naked but says nothing happened?
Q. My girlfriend went away for the weekend to visit some friends. She told me that she had some drinks and ended up playing strip poker with 2 other guys and a girl. She told me nothing happened. just played until everyone was fully naked. What should ...
A. 7 October 2013: i know personally, i would not play strip poker with anyone other than my significant other (well, truth be told, i wouldn't play strip poker, period. but that's not the point). i wouldn't want my partner to get the wrong impression and it's just ... (read in full...)
Will I regret taking my daughter's dad off childsupport even though she is grown?
Q. Dear Cupid,I am caught up with two men that one took care of his child and then the next one disowned his children by me.Long story short I want your opinion on this the first man I have two children by him he never paid a dime? For the second guy ...
A. 7 October 2013: you say she is grown. how grown is she?
only you can make this decision. it sounds as though it would be a nice thing for you to do for him, considering he has always done what a father is supposed to do and taken care of his child. and even wen... (read in full...)
When/how is it appropriate to express interest in getting to know someone?
Q. Dear Cupid Aunts, The other day I checked out something at my university library which had not been checked out since 1978, and thus lacked a bar code. Since I could not use the self-checkout kiosk, I had to actually go and get a real person t...
A. 7 October 2013: let us know how it goes!... (read in full...)
Guys: Would you have sex with a woman on her period?
Q. What are your opinions on period sex? Especially guys... Would you have sex with a woman on her period? Would you do this only if you were in a relationship with her and care about or love her? Or would you do it with a random woman if you wa...
A. 5 October 2013: i'm gay and would only sleep with a woman who was on her period if i truly loved her. the reason being because honestly, it would gross me out if it wasn't someone i was that close with. cooties, ya know? :P... (read in full...)
When/how is it appropriate to express interest in getting to know someone?
Q. Dear Cupid Aunts, The other day I checked out something at my university library which had not been checked out since 1978, and thus lacked a bar code. Since I could not use the self-checkout kiosk, I had to actually go and get a real person t...
A. 5 October 2013: You seem like a legitimately good guy. I think you should do exactly as you said, and ask her out for coffee sometime. tell her you'd love to actually get to chat outside of the library for a change. Worst case, she says no. Best case, you get her ... (read in full...)
If you were me, would you try and approach this girl and potentially harm a maybe happy household? Or would you simply forget about it and move on?
Q. For about five years iv always had a small crush on the girl who works in my local post office, we would often flirt and smile a lot when we talked, she is about 2 years younger than me at 24. I have never persued it though as I have always been in ...
A. 5 October 2013: She was asking if you were single? Well that's a different story. That's a clear sign of interest. and since she's unhappy, she seems like she may be looking to see what could happen with you. But do not cross any boundaries with her until she has ... (read in full...)
She's high-stress and overreacts
Q. I don't know what to do anymore. My girlfriend gets upset at me when I simply try to communicate and says really hurtful stuff in the process. My girlfriend is extremely high stress and I'm very laid back. Since she's so high stress, in gener...
A. 5 October 2013: Wow it's literally crazy because I am going through almost the exact same thing. My girlfriend lashes out at me, too, in just the same way, and says awful stuff when she gets stressed. I can't take it either, my friend. I keep trying to give her the ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with her, but I can tell she's skittish about it. What should I do?
Q. I’ve recently fallen for a beautiful woman. Every single bit my type with all of my strengths and flaws. I asked her for her number today and she gave it to me. When I tried to make plans she was hesitant and we never ended up making a solid ...
A. 5 October 2013: Well she may be shy, but most girls do not run out of class and make themselves unreachable if they really like you. They would go out of their way to talk to you or set up the date. sounds to me you may be getting your hopes up she feels the same ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex is demanding more in their friendship than I can accept
Q. Okay everyone im having problems with my boyfriends girl best friend. A week or 2 ago he hugged her and I told him he needed to chose between me or her. He chose me they stopped having out and barley talked unless it was about their phone bill cause ...
A. 4 October 2013: I feel so sorry for your boyfriend. one demanding girl in your life is enough. He's got two, tugging him in opposite directions and he's trying so hard to find the middle ground to make you both happy. She expects too much as a friend and you expect ... (read in full...)
He's in jail now. When he gets out do I tell him I was a prostitute and other things about my past?
Q. So I'm talking to a man, who is currently in prison for a charge he caught at 17, for burglary. He gets out in 12 days, and I plan on spending time with him. We write all the time and I have met him. My problem is, he wants to know me, like rea...
A. 4 October 2013: Sounds to me like he has no room to judge, seeing as how he's in prison for his bad decision-making early in life, too.
You don't have to tell him if you don't choose to. That's up to you. But that usually all comes with time and getting to know ... (read in full...)
Why so bitter, when he cheated on me?
Q. Hello guys. Could use your guidance please. Me and my ex split up about 3 months ago (he cheated on me). I still love him, but know the split was the right thing to do. I am upset about the split, but I do not hate him for it, nor am I angry a...
A. 4 October 2013: What aunty babbit said exactly. she's spot on. You dumped him. He lost control over you. He can't stand it, so he's lashing out. Simple as that.
Now, this man only has as much control over you as you allow. If he's constantly being nasty to... (read in full...)
Is this video a gift he'd like?
Q. ok. so I'm planning to do this sexy elegant video for my boyfriend of me in lingerie, undressing and stuff. I'm in that field of doing videos all the time and have all the equipment to do something quite stunning and very professional. So my q...
A. 4 October 2013: Most definitely. Do. It. ... (read in full...)
If you were me, would you try and approach this girl and potentially harm a maybe happy household? Or would you simply forget about it and move on?
Q. For about five years iv always had a small crush on the girl who works in my local post office, we would often flirt and smile a lot when we talked, she is about 2 years younger than me at 24. I have never persued it though as I have always been in ...
A. 4 October 2013: Definitely move on, my friend. She's unavailable and has a family. If you had a family, I'm sure you wouldn't like it if another guy was trying to steal it away. It's just not the right thing to do.... (read in full...)
Long distance but in love what to do?
Q. Hey everybody! I feel really insecure about a boy i recently met. Just 2 weeks ago we met in a pub and hit it right of. I havent felt this way in a long long time! We only know eachother for 2 weeks but we text everyday and see eachother a lot. ...
A. 4 October 2013: Three hours is nothing when you like each other. My ex and I lived the same distance away for a year. We saw each other multiple times a week still. Where there is a will, there is a way. ... (read in full...)
Guys, would you take her back?
Q. This is a question for the guys, mostly! If you were a 29-year-old male, newly divorced, and in love with a new woman, would you take this woman back? - You have your daughter for the weekend, and decide to surprise your new girlfriend of ...
A. 3 October 2013: hell. no.... (read in full...)
My gf wants to mantain friendship with her ex and her former sex buddy
Q. I have what it's called Retrograde Jealousy (form of OCD) My gf (which I love a lot) has a strange past with a relationship (sex buddy) with a best friend (man) and after that a long relationship with a girl (which was the only one that she had - sh...
A. 3 October 2013: yes you are wrong. you cannot and do not have the right to tell you girlfriend who she can and cannot be friends with. if there is trust, which is what a healthy relationship entails, then you know you have nothing to worry about. it's one thing to ... (read in full...)
Can you get over a lack of physical attraction if the person is great enough?
Q. How do you get over not having a physical attraction to someone? I met the most amazing guy. Which is not something I say easily or throw around, I have been married and never talked that way about my ex husband. We have been talking for a fe...
A. 2 October 2013: Hey there.
I've been in your shoes. For me, no, there was no getting past it. My ex was an absolutely wonderful and amazing person. The best person I've ever met. But the attraction was lacking for the same reason as yours. I battled and battled ... (read in full...)
Can you get over a lack of physical attraction if the person is great enough?
Q. How do you get over not having a physical attraction to someone? I met the most amazing guy. Which is not something I say easily or throw around, I have been married and never talked that way about my ex husband. We have been talking for a fe...
A. 2 October 2013: Hey there.
I've been in your shoes. For me, no, there was no getting past it. My ex was an absolutely wonderful and amazing person. The best person I've ever met. But the attraction was lacking for the same reason as yours. I battled and battled ... (read in full...)
Past abuse is getting in the way of this relationship
Q. I was in this crazy abusive relationship with my ex when I was 17 (I’m 20 now). He used to hit me so hard that I black out. He left bruises and cuts all over me. He hated it when I would talk to or look at other boys and that cause half of my ...
A. 2 October 2013: Good for you. Many women are afraid to do what you did and press charges. That's very courageous and noble of you. Hopefully he will learn to control his rage one day.... (read in full...)
Should I worry that she wants to get herself off after sex?
Q. I'm 36, I've been married to my wife for 3 years and we never had any big sex-related problem or issue. Since a few months ago I started noticing that she was not satisfied anymore after we were done in bed. Not that she would tell me before, but ...
A. 2 October 2013: You should worry. I'm sorry, but this is NOT the first time this issue has been brought up on this site. Its so common that its beginning to become frustrating. why wouldn't you care if you finished your wife off? It's not just all about men in bed. ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong for giving my b/f grief about answering her text?
Q. Hi!! A few days ago my bf asked a girl something about class over twitter, they talked about that for a few posts and then a guy that studies with them said a joke involving both the girl and my bf. The girl answered saying that she loves them, th...
A. 2 October 2013: You are really taking an inch and running a thousand miles with this one. Your bf did nothing wrong, and neither did that girl. I wouldn't worry about this at all. ... (read in full...)
Married man got caught. Would he lie to me about this?
Q. Are there any reasons why a married man would lie to his mistress about getting caught by his wife? NO judgements please........ He was caught over the weekend and told me they were having a major fight and that he would get in touch with me. I d...
A. 2 October 2013: It could be the truth or he could be trying to find a way to end the relationship with you. No judgment here. However, he's proven he's a liar by even being with you in the first place. He lies to his wife every day. so it's certainly not beyond him ... (read in full...)
I told him I liked him. He said nothing
Q. I told this guy that I had a crush on him. Before I was about to tell him I think he sensed what I was about to say. After I told him he just asked me how long I liked him and I said I don't know. I could not think straight my head was all over the ...
A. 2 October 2013: What exactly did he do wrong? Flirt with you? People flirt, sweetheart. Doesn't have to mean anything.
Yes, you were brave and bold for telling him how you feel. But that doesn't entitle him to feeling the same way back. What do you mean how coul... (read in full...)
He is controlling but I love him
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for a year and i do love him but i feel like he is trying to control me he hates it when i talk to other boys (which are just friends) he hates it when i dont go where he goes he always wants to do what he want...
A. 2 October 2013: Put your foot down and do whatever you want to do. As long as you allow him to control you, he will. ... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 1 October 2013: People who cheat show their true character. you don't have to agree with this, but since this is an opinion and advice site, I'm sharing mine. cheating is the ultimate deception of someone you claim to care about. the fact that she can screw around ... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 1 October 2013: i was relieved when you said the girls name was katie. for a minute, i was truly convinced it was my ex. lol. she just moved to texas.
let me tell you all about her. we dated for two years - living together and everything. what did she do behind m... (read in full...)
Past abuse is getting in the way of this relationship
Q. I was in this crazy abusive relationship with my ex when I was 17 (I’m 20 now). He used to hit me so hard that I black out. He left bruises and cuts all over me. He hated it when I would talk to or look at other boys and that cause half of my ...
A. 30 September 2013: wow sweetheart, i'm so very sorry for all of the things you've had to experience and endure. with all of the details you gave (and assuming there's many more you didn't mention), it's no wonder you're extremely timid of men and dating. the one thing ... (read in full...)
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