Past abuse is getting in the way of this relationship
Q. I was in this crazy abusive relationship with my ex when I was 17 (I’m 20 now). He used to hit me so hard that I black out. He left bruises and cuts all over me. He hated it when I would talk to or look at other boys and that cause half of my ...
A. 2 October 2013: Good for you. Many women are afraid to do what you did and press charges. That's very courageous and noble of you. Hopefully he will learn to control his rage one day.... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 1 October 2013: People who cheat show their true character. you don't have to agree with this, but since this is an opinion and advice site, I'm sharing mine. cheating is the ultimate deception of someone you claim to care about. the fact that she can screw around ... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 1 October 2013: i was relieved when you said the girls name was katie. for a minute, i was truly convinced it was my ex. lol. she just moved to texas.
let me tell you all about her. we dated for two years - living together and everything. what did she do behind m... (read in full...)
I'm confused after this kiss with another girl!
Q. Wer do I start I have this mate who I went to college with ! Every now and then we meet up to keep in touch! Through her I met her friend from the first time I saw her I thought she was pretty and felt unnerved by her! Maybe a year later I seen her ...
A. 1 October 2013: you never know unless you try. pursuing her doesn't mean you have to constantly hound her or obsess over it. treat her like any other normal relationship/friendship. hang out with her and get to know her. spend time with her. if it happens, it will ... (read in full...)
I don't really know what she might feel for me
Q. About 5 years ago I had a relationship with a married woman. I thought I was falling in love and probably was, but then her husband died unexpectedly and I ran. I couldn't be there for her when she needed me but I think it was just too much at that ...
A. 1 October 2013: look at her history, my friend, and the answer is crystal clear. what was she doing to her husband when she was with you? cheating. and what is she doing to her current boyfriend, once again, with you? cheating. and what do you think she would do to ... (read in full...)
How late is too late to start dating in the modern world?
Q. How late is too late for guys to enter the dating game and start looking for a relationship. 25? 30? 35? I mean, to really just START! Never been on a date before, never had sex, maybe never even kissed a girl. This could all be due to many combi...
A. 1 October 2013: there's no such thing as too late. in fact, the less relationships you've experienced, it means the less heart breaks you've suffered and the less jaded and bitter you've become.
also, starting later in life gives you the right maturity level to... (read in full...)
I'm confused after this kiss with another girl!
Q. Wer do I start I have this mate who I went to college with ! Every now and then we meet up to keep in touch! Through her I met her friend from the first time I saw her I thought she was pretty and felt unnerved by her! Maybe a year later I seen her ...
A. 1 October 2013: coming from a gay woman, myself, it sounds like you're really feeling this girl. and it sounds as if she's certainly feeling you, too, but you're a bit more "in touch" with your attraction and feelings for the same sex than she is. she seems like ... (read in full...)
Any advice on regaining some sort of power in a casual relationship?
Q. Hi, I find myself in a bad situation, the classic casual hook up turned messy. I am seeing a younger man casually (I didnt think there was a future in it because of the age difference) and now I am having the usual problems associated with ...
A. 1 October 2013: i hate condoning game playing, but if you want to regain some power, wait for him to contact you. and if he does, make plans, and then cancel at the last minute without explanation. then stop answering his calls and texts immediately. if he calls, ... (read in full...)
A friend dropped off the grid. I value privacy too highly to charge in uninvited.
Q. I am in my mid 30s and is a secret introvert. However, as the coach at a popular UK University Sports Society, I end up going out most nights. I have a rule, Sundays are mine. Mine alone. Without it, I would be lost and be unable to cope with ...
A. 1 October 2013: sounds to me like she could be seeing someone. often times, when people meet someone new, they tend to fall off the grid like that. could this be a possibility?
either that, or she could be going through a hard time right now. whenever i am havin... (read in full...)
I'm confused as to what he wants from me. I love him so much but why wont he ask me out if he claims to have these feelings for me?
Q. I'm confused as to what he wants from me. I love him so much but why wont he ask me out if he claims to have these feelings for me. We met a few years ago, we fell in love, he disappeared we moved on. 5 years later we met up again, and feeli...
A. 30 September 2013: i would never tell you that you don't love him. clearly you do - as only a person in love would choose to put up with all that crap.
he's playing with your mind and you're allowing it to happen. he's brain washing you into believing that it's for... (read in full...)
How much should I dress up or make up for my FWB?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. I have a fwb with this guy who I really fancy! He knows How much I fancy him, but we both know it will not become anything more. I'm just wondering how much effort should I or shouldn't I be putting in into our sexy time? I...
A. 30 September 2013: ahhh, sorry, just read your update and saw where you explained you do not have feelings for him beside sexual ones. that being said, heck yeah, i totally think you should do those things. why not? i'm sure it'll drive him crazy and make the sex even ... (read in full...)
How much should I dress up or make up for my FWB?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. I have a fwb with this guy who I really fancy! He knows How much I fancy him, but we both know it will not become anything more. I'm just wondering how much effort should I or shouldn't I be putting in into our sexy time? I...
A. 30 September 2013: if you're developing real feelings for this guy, i'd say you need to nip that in the bud now because you're going to wind up hurt. do you feel that you're actually having romantic interest in him and desiring more than fwb?
if you're not looking ... (read in full...)
Did he see this as a one-night thing?
Q. I have a complicated situation. A week ago, I met a guy while out, and we ended up hanging out all night (just hanging out). I am 31, and I found out later that he is only 21!!! He is not your typical 21 year old at all, more mature, lives on his ...
A. 30 September 2013: honestly, i think you need to tone it down a bit. it's only been a week, so just relax and let it run it's natural course. he can probably sense that you're getting a bit on the clingy side, and men can't stand that. and you just happened to drive ... (read in full...)
Past abuse is getting in the way of this relationship
Q. I was in this crazy abusive relationship with my ex when I was 17 (I’m 20 now). He used to hit me so hard that I black out. He left bruises and cuts all over me. He hated it when I would talk to or look at other boys and that cause half of my ...
A. 30 September 2013: wow sweetheart, i'm so very sorry for all of the things you've had to experience and endure. with all of the details you gave (and assuming there's many more you didn't mention), it's no wonder you're extremely timid of men and dating. the one thing ... (read in full...)
Will it cause problems with my fellow lifeguards if I ask him out?
Q. I work as a life guard in a indoor pool and I'm very attracted to one guy who started swimming there. He is tall dark and handsome and very sociable. There is one issue though, whenever I talk to him I find myself glancing down at his body and ...
A. 30 September 2013: he wears speedos?
hey, if you like banana hammocks, that's all you.
no body has dibs on the guy. if you like him, ask him out.... (read in full...)
I hope somehow I see him to show him how much I have changed. And why would he call me after a year of no contact a few days after my birthday?
Q. Hello everyone, Lately I've been thinking if my ex a lot. Not in an emotional way however sometimes I get upset at how things could have been different, wondering what he is up to now, and wondering if he thinks of me. We broke up around t...
A. 30 September 2013: perhaps it was an accidental "butt dial?" i actually legitimately did that to an ex one time.
it could also be that he was wanting to wish you a happy birthday (belated). maybe he'd been thinking of you, too. after all, with the way he ended th... (read in full...)
I hacked her facebook from her phone and found she's talking to a guy!
Q. Hello am I 27 year old male who has been with my girlfriend for the past 5 months. We've been having some problems lately. I looked on her phone which I know I shouldn't have done but I went to her Facebook account and looked at her messages and ...
A. 30 September 2013: it doesn't sound shady to me. first of all, saying you miss someone is common. i tell my friends that i haven't seen in a while that i miss them all the time. that's extremely normal. second, he said he tried to come by and she wasn't there. so ... (read in full...)
I did everything for him and he wants to break up?
Q. My boyfriend and I got together this january after he constantly pestered me to get with him despite all our mutual friends advising me against it. I told him I am not looking for sex in the relationship due to my religious beliefs and family values ...
A. 29 September 2013: In my opinion, it's not worth fighting for. Your differences truly do seem to be a problem to him. And when he breaks up with you, he suddenly forgets all the reasons why he feels you two aren't compatible and wants to get back to together. He ... (read in full...)
Yells, screams and is needlessly hostile to me. How do I deal with my BF when he is like this?
Q. Needlessly hostile boyfriend, hard to deal with. I'm on my last nerve with my boyfriend, and I feel like I have no one else to turn to. We've been dating for over a year, and we're both 21. This weekend was supposed to be a good, fun couple of days ...
A. 29 September 2013: You handle this by getting up and walking out the door and not coming back. who the hell needs that kind of treatment??!? That's just psycho on his part. He clearly needs anger management if he blows up like that over you sitting on the arm of a ... (read in full...)
What's the difference between "real sex" and soft, vanilla-porn?
Q. I have yet to be in a relationship or, as pathetic as it is to admit, have sex (mostly because - and it's not a low self-esteem thing - I'm unattractive; women aren't interested in me, never have and it seems like never will; I get it, and I'm okay ...
A. 29 September 2013: A few pointers.
1. Don't ever - and I mean ever, spit on a woman's vagina. I would straight up knock someone out if they did that to me.
2. During foreplay, don't ever finger a woman like you are stabbing her vagina repeatedly over ... (read in full...)
How do I go on being NOT the so-nice understanding friend victim into the real me?
Q. This is probably the weirdest most disghusting querry you'll ever read, but I'm afraid I need an insight on this one and how to deal with this tricky situation to say the least. I happen to have a friend who whenever she comes to my place, use...
A. 28 September 2013: Your question didn't mention anything directly about feeling taken for granted in any other way other than your one friend using your bathroom on a couple of occasions. So that's why a lot of people responded the way they did. It wasn't until your ... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend's ex is pregnant. How do I handle this?
Q. I am a 22 year old girl who has a 27 year old boyfriend of one month. It basically took us 3 months to actually become an item, we are so alike yet different, I guess that's why we connect, love each other dearly. Our worst fear is losing each ...
A. 28 September 2013: Perhaps this is horrible of me, but is he certain she's actually pregnant? Women use this extremely manipulative tactic as a desperate last means of holding on. Could she be just saying this to manipulate him into coming back to her?
If she trul... (read in full...)
My married male friend has admitted to being in love with me!
Q. Ok, so I am a 21 yr old female, student, and i have this male friend(30), an audiologist, who is married and has a kid.. I always saw him in this friend area...plus he is my best friend. He admitted of being Madly in love with me. It was a ...
A. 28 September 2013: i know it's hard, but you definitely need to cut contact with him. it won't be easy, but it's necessary.
he's acting obsessive and really crazy. cut the word sorry on his arm? wtf?? i'm sorry, but that's insane. he's also being extremely disrespe... (read in full...)
In a relationship, but cannot get married co-worker out my head!
Q. My new co-worker (he's newly married, I might add) is adorable, funny, and charming. He is also a HUGE flirt. I find myself flirting back all the time, though I'm careful as to what I say. And even though I do flirt, at the end of the day, I only ...
A. 28 September 2013: i think you're beginning to tread on thin ice here. it sounds like he may like you, as well. and this could get out of hand if you don't nip it in the bud now.
no, you certainly haven't cheated - physically, at least. however, i think it goes wit... (read in full...)
Does it sound like it's time to end the relationship?
Q. I'm in a confused situation right now. I feel like things with me and my boyfriend are never going to change. We live together but he works a lot so we only see each other during that day. He texts constantly! From when he wakes up till he goes to ...
A. 28 September 2013: i had an ex who lived on her phone constantly, just like that. i swear, it literally grew into a part of her hand. i had to do the same thinig - beg her to put the damn thing down and spend time with me. she couldn't and wouldn't do it. want to know ... (read in full...)
Do you just let your ex become a stranger?
Q. My ex isnt willing to see me with someone new and i dont want to see his either so we defriended each other on facebook (FYI: It was a bad breakup) We are in different countries so we will never ever see each other again. Do you guys just let your ...
A. 28 September 2013: i take on quite a different perspective as everyone else. to me, when you have a significant relationship, they become your best friend and therefore, obviously, they mattered a great deal to you. so why not salvage a friendship when it ends, if at ... (read in full...)
How do I go on being NOT the so-nice understanding friend victim into the real me?
Q. This is probably the weirdest most disghusting querry you'll ever read, but I'm afraid I need an insight on this one and how to deal with this tricky situation to say the least. I happen to have a friend who whenever she comes to my place, use...
A. 28 September 2013: wait, hang on - you're mad because she takes a shit at your house? or am i missing something?
who cares if she comes in and uses your bathroom? that's what toilets are there for, right? she's not coming in and taking a dump on your floor, so it se... (read in full...)
The night we met she went out had sex with her ex afterwards!
Q. Advice needed please! I met this girl a couple of months ago on a night out with friends, we hit it off straight away, swapped numbers and had a really good time that night. We started dating soon after and are going steady now. Everything h...
A. 27 September 2013: Sorry, my paragraphs got jumbled. I was trying to say I'd been in your shoes before. That my gf now went home with someone the first night we met. Bit I know she's all mine now. anyway, sorry for the jumble. ... (read in full...)
The night we met she went out had sex with her ex afterwards!
Q. Advice needed please! I met this girl a couple of months ago on a night out with friends, we hit it off straight away, swapped numbers and had a really good time that night. We started dating soon after and are going steady now. Everything h...
A. 27 September 2013: You are definitely over reacting, my friend. As you said, you two were in no way exclusive at that moment. You had just been two strangers in a bar who exchanged numbers. She would have had no way of fast-forwarding to the future and knowing that ... (read in full...)
What can I do so girls don't think I'm trying to steal their man?
Q. I find it difficult to make friends; as a female I find it even harder to be friends with women. If I consider a person my friend, they become like family to me. It seems that I can't be friends with women because they just end up stabbing me in the ...
A. 27 September 2013: It's tough for some women to have friends because many women are extremely caddy. They size you up and try to complete with you. Especially if you are an attractive girl, which I'm going to assume you probably are. A lot of women can't stand to be ... (read in full...)
How do I respond to this friend who seems to be upset that I've become a happy stay at home mom?
Q. I recently moved overseas with my husband. We hav a baby and i amcrrently a stay at home mom. Iv known this friend since childhood .we went to the same school and she was also my bridesmaid. We were not best friends but we were good friends and she ...
A. 27 September 2013: What CMMP said. just ignore the bitch. You didn't do anything at all. Just forget about her and brush it off your shoulders. you're going to encounter all sorts of rude, obnoxious people in your life. She's just one of them. Just ignore her. ... (read in full...)
I keep waiting on ex. I hate myself for it. Help?
Q. I brokeup with him around 3 months ago because I was over his temper. I've spent time alone since and I realize how much he never put effort into the relationship, would blame me for problems he caused. He did things that are unacceptable to anyone, ...
A. 26 September 2013: Only thing you can do is to keep doing what you're already doing. Just keep going no contact and eventually your thoughts of him will fade into the past.
Time. That's the main thing. That and keeping yourself occupied. Good luck. stay strong. ... (read in full...)
What should I do about my ex and dating my friend?
Q. So my boyfriend (lets call him, George) of 8months and i currently broke up (14th Sept) and i went out the same night and spent time with one of my friends lets call him Pete. So Pete came and picked me up that night because i was upset and fe...
A. 26 September 2013: Who cares what your ex says? He lost that privilege the day he broke up with you. So don't even worry about that. it's a non-issue.
About the other guy. You both seem to like each other. Or at least like to occupy each others time together... (read in full...)
Am I crazy is he cheating and taking me for a fool?
Q. Hi Guys and Girls A question about strange behaviour from my partner of 4 years. We live together and have done for 3 years. However I am always suspicious of him and keep checking his texts and Facebook messages. I like to go to bed early...
A. 26 September 2013: Yes, he's cheating and taking you for a fool - which he has done over and over and over again. get rid if this guy. He doesn't treat you right. Cheating and lying are the ultimate deception. Kick his ass to the curb and find a guy who treats you ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my partner that I'm ready to marry now? Or wait?
Q. ive been thinking of it for quite sometime now... ive been with my partner for 9 long years but have not decided to ger married yet... well he did ask me once 5yrs ago but i told him im not ready yet since then we havent talked about it again... our ...
A. 26 September 2013: honestly, if i got shot down when i proposed, i'd be really scared to ask again, as well. so absolutely he's afraid of asking a second time. if you don't wish to flat out tell him you're ready to get married now, you can drop pretty clear hints. you ... (read in full...)
Dating dilemma - online friend
Q. Ok quick question ... The man I have strong feelings for has another woman that he has been chatting with for over a year and chats with online daily but claims it is just friendship. It came out by chance and he did try to keep it from me. I have ...
A. 26 September 2013: in my opinion, people don't make that much of an effort to maintain a "friendship."
i have plenty of great friends, whom i love dearly. we catch up once every couple of weeks by phone and send a few texts every now and again. we will always b... (read in full...)
My dad doesn't want me to date my boyfriend?!
Q. I'm 17 years old and my boyfriend is 20. I have been dating him for nearly a year and a half now but my parents never approved. My mom doesn't say much about the relationship but my dad is being stubborn and keeps comparing it to the past/bad ...
A. 26 September 2013: it's a father's job to look after his daughter. that's what fathers do. in his eyes, you're probably still too young to know what you want and to have a stable, healthy relationship. not saying that this is factual, but just perpahs what he sees.
... (read in full...)
"I'll love you even if we break up": why would a guy say that?
Q. My boyfriend of 9 months had a few drinks on Friday and said "I love you, I'll love you even if we break up". He also said he's decided he's too "selfish" to have a child. I didn't engage the conversation because he had been drinking. He knows I ...
A. 26 September 2013: i agree that alcohol typically is a truth serum. "a sober person's thoughts are a drunk person's words." however, often times, alcohol can also be a babble serum. i tend to get diarrhea of the mouth and just start babbling about things and get ... (read in full...)
"I'll love you even if we break up": why would a guy say that?
Q. My boyfriend of 9 months had a few drinks on Friday and said "I love you, I'll love you even if we break up". He also said he's decided he's too "selfish" to have a child. I didn't engage the conversation because he had been drinking. He knows I ...
A. 26 September 2013: he was just drunk and rambling. i don't think he's meaning to break up with you at all. in fact, in his drunk state, i think he was trying to say that as a compliment lol. basically, that he'd always love you, even if you dumped him. either way, i ... (read in full...)
Why do girls go out with swag kids who wear skinny jeans??
Q. Dear Cupid, too make a long story short, i am currently a senior in high school, and i have alot of pride in myself and high standards for myself, i stick out more then alot of other students at my high school, every guy wheres skinny jeans and ...
A. 26 September 2013: give it a year. you'll be in college and it will all change. high school is a whole different world. everyone is still a kid and girls are attracted to douches like that. once you get older and are in college, you'll notice that WOMEN (key word is ... (read in full...)
Really want to do oral but can't
Q. Hi aunts and uncles! Thank you in advance for all the help. I'm 19 years old and i'm in a very serious relationship with a guy 6 years my senior. We've been together for just over a year now. My problem is i'm afraid of letting him go own on me ...
A. 26 September 2013: sounds like this man really loves you and cares about you. so i'm sure however you look down there (which i'm sure it's fine) won't effect him whatsoever. when you love someone, that stuff doesn't matter.
i date women, and my current gf was extr... (read in full...)
Crush admitted that he kissed me only because he was drunk!
Q. Ok I've been in love with this guy for like 2 years but he's never gown that kind of interest in me, we're just close friends - we can talk about whatever- and sometimes we flirt a little but he flirts with everyone really, anyway we got drunk at a ...
A. 26 September 2013: I'm sorry that happened to you. I know it's confusing. Here's what I know from much experience:
He was drunk and on the rebound. Lord, I can't count how many times I've said stuff like and done stuff like that because of my idiotic drunken ... (read in full...)
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